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Am I a golddigger?
- Thread starter Kismet
- Start date
wow these two threads together certainly paint some kind of picture
OP
OP
My ex was a sex addicted person who cheated on me, he confessed and I dumped him. He needs help. I'm glad that chapter is done, and I'm also glad I didn't ask for my stuff back. Thanks for that feedback. But I don't think we have to talk about that situation anymore. I'm moving on.
Assuming actual golddigger are still human and not this vile creature everybody paints them to be, yeah you fit the bill.
You shouldn't lead people on if you see no future. especially if he is so enamored by you.
You shouldn't lead people on if you see no future. especially if he is so enamored by you.
OP
OP
I didn't ask for any stuff I got. How does that make me materialistic?
I'm not doing this for materialistic reasons. The idea of securing my future financially and working less is what sounds interesting to me. When it comes to materialistic stuff, I already have everything I want. And I can get whatever I want, without anyone's help.
I'm not doing this for materialistic reasons. The idea of securing my future financially and working less is what sounds interesting to me. When it comes to materialistic stuff, I already have everything I want. And I can get whatever I want, without anyone's help.
That's my thought, also I think OP knows if he tells this guy evenually that he only wants to be friends the gifts will dwindle and he will move on. OP question you talk about making very good money and wanting to stop work but if you love what you do how will spending time with someone who you dont "love" be any better. Everybody needs to have their own life and goals and it seems like for you it's simply having the time of your life at the expense of others.
You made a comment about houses and how this guy you're seeing has no limit for houses and that instantly turned your attention. Answer me this, would you still be talking to him or spending time with him if he wasnt rich. If he made less then you would you still hangout and have sex with him if he was still as attractive? If the answer is no, then you know you're with him for the money and not for the opportunities for love with him.
Yes, you are. Just try to be honest.
If you're driven and well off, why would it matter if he buys headphones or you do?
Are you sure you're not materialistic and lonely, and the gifts are filling the void of true affection?
If you're driven and well off, why would it matter if he buys headphones or you do?
Are you sure you're not materialistic and lonely, and the gifts are filling the void of true affection?
OP
OP
Why, does that annoy you? Yes, I earn A LOT!
I just want to say that I'm well off myself because I work hard for it. I'm not desperate for money. But having enough money to stop working sound good.
What? Is this a serious question? You say in the first post that if he wasn't that wealthy, and wasn't offering you something, you would have ignored him. What mental backflips do you have to land to not understand how materialistic you are?
I don't think it matters than he knows you don't feel anything for him. He's obviously desperate and you're still taking advantage of that, you're not doing him a favor. If he really wants to be happy too he'll have to find someone who actually cares, he can pretend all he wants but that's how I see it.
Why is this even a question. The guy clearly likes you and he realized you didn't like him. In a panic he started trying to buy your love. You've allowed him to believe that he can buy you because your draw to material things is allowing you to be bought out currently. You're already considering just sticking with him for an easy cruise through life and have no actual interest in him.
This is pretty much a textbook abusive relationship you're just fleecng the person of what they're worth. Eventually you'll get tired of him and leave, shattering the illusion of a life you allowed him to think you two were building together all for a bit of cash you apparently dont even need. For you it will mean less money. For him it could be devastating since he probably thinks there's a future for you two.
This is pretty much a textbook abusive relationship you're just fleecng the person of what they're worth. Eventually you'll get tired of him and leave, shattering the illusion of a life you allowed him to think you two were building together all for a bit of cash you apparently dont even need. For you it will mean less money. For him it could be devastating since he probably thinks there's a future for you two.
Of course it's going to be for the better. You're going to get free stuff, and apparently you're able to convince yourself that it's not morally questionable to be using someone solely for personal gain.
"You do you" and all, which is fine, but how do you have the lack of awareness to not realize that you're a golddigger?
"You do you" and all, which is fine, but how do you have the lack of awareness to not realize that you're a golddigger?
OP
OP
Believe me, I always have a plan. I'm too calculated to not have a plan.
I didn't get to my current position by living my whole life in my mom's basement and procrastinating.
I'll be ok.
If you have so much money just buy a small place in fair climate, and live off the grid. You won't have to work for others, and will have all the time you want. If you're not materialistic, and you're rich, it's a much better option than duping someone you dont have feelings for.
A golden god would always have a plan.
I'm picturing OP pantomiming conducting an orchestra while he dictates his master plans to the feeble masses.
I get the sense OP does not take offense to the term "golddigger." He might even be intrigued or flattered by it, perceiving this as a testament to his attractiveness.
Because if a reply implies or describes something about OP that doesn't fit his own self-image, then he tries to correct it. If you imply that OP isn't happy, he insists he is indeed "happy." He wants you to know he's considered physically attractive, financially capable, etc. Talk about something he doesn't like in this thread, eg. his ex, then he wants you to stop talking about that. Call him a prostitute, he doesn't like that either:
If he wasn't ok with being called a "golddigger" on some level, there's no way his ego would abide anyone even hinting at labeling him that way. No way he'd create a thread describing himself as possibly being one.
Easy. Not working sounds amazing to everyone. However, just having leisure time comes with a heap of drawbacks. You'll have a hard time adjusting, and since you don't have a proper foundation with this guy, and you're doing this for all the wrong reasons, it'll strain your relationship. You'll end up somehow blaming him, since you consider yourself smart enough that it couldn't be your mistake you're in the position you're in. You'll tell yourself it didn't really mean anything, since you never really liked him anyway, but you'll feel more callus, emotionally unavailable than ever. You'll focus your anger at him, leaving with little new insight. Your life will continue being the mundane drone you always told yourself you'd find a way out of, leaving the insight of your current endeavor behind.
Years pass, and everything stays the same. You fight the passage of time, but its inexorably nature slowly creeps up on you.
Honestly I'm seeing big red flags here in the part of the rich guy!!
- He leverages his wealth responsively when he seems to notice you're less interested in him.
- He constantly puts you in situations where he's paid for a whole trip/date so that you feel you owe him affection and gratitude in return.
- He wants you to stop earning your own money and becoming completely financially dependent on him. Ever wonder why?
- He wants you to move to another country with him!!! Effectively isolating you from all your family and friends.
This seems like textbook setup for an abusive relationship. If someone likes you, they should be expected to respect your boundaries no matter how rich and "nice" they are. They should not be setting conditions like "move in with me asap" or "quit your job to be my full time partner/maid/nanny/muse/whatever".
The healthy way for couples to approach these kind of lifestyles is when they're already in a long-term commitment and they're discussing a labour arrangement that serves them as a family unit and not as two individuals. For example: child care, adult care, housework, and emotional labour (life planning/coaching) are real work even if society doesn't make it seem that way. You are not effectively unemployed, you are under an employment of your partner. Do you really want this person you're not so hot on to become your partner AND your boss?
Frankly, it sounds dangerous to me.
- He leverages his wealth responsively when he seems to notice you're less interested in him.
- He constantly puts you in situations where he's paid for a whole trip/date so that you feel you owe him affection and gratitude in return.
- He wants you to stop earning your own money and becoming completely financially dependent on him. Ever wonder why?
- He wants you to move to another country with him!!! Effectively isolating you from all your family and friends.
This seems like textbook setup for an abusive relationship. If someone likes you, they should be expected to respect your boundaries no matter how rich and "nice" they are. They should not be setting conditions like "move in with me asap" or "quit your job to be my full time partner/maid/nanny/muse/whatever".
The healthy way for couples to approach these kind of lifestyles is when they're already in a long-term commitment and they're discussing a labour arrangement that serves them as a family unit and not as two individuals. For example: child care, adult care, housework, and emotional labour (life planning/coaching) are real work even if society doesn't make it seem that way. You are not effectively unemployed, you are under an employment of your partner. Do you really want this person you're not so hot on to become your partner AND your boss?
Frankly, it sounds dangerous to me.
You need to stop taking the gifts or tell him to stop gifting you if you want to give the relationship a chance.
Otherwise, I am confused as to why are you confronting your own greed in such a way. Now you bring it from subconscious to the conscious and poison your own relationship.
Otherwise, I am confused as to why are you confronting your own greed in such a way. Now you bring it from subconscious to the conscious and poison your own relationship.
So do it. It is hard to understand what you are looking for from this thread
OP
OP
That's one of my tasks, yeah. But keep on digging in my post history to find out more!!
I think this is a good observation. However, I think OP is flattering himself, based on how OP writes. It toned in a sort of way that frames the money as somehow being worth OP's attention. I don't think it's necessarily meant to leverage the ghosting.
What chance do you think you're taking? You're signing up for a free dinner. You're not taking a chance. You're going against how you feel about someone because of money. You push away people's observation of you, and claim this is somehow good. You're lazy. Nothing else.
OP
OP
It's not allowed to open up a thread and share situations and thoughts?
Attention?
Edit: to be clear, I'm with Rivenblade here.
I doubt the OP is real, or that the situations he describes are real.
It is. But if I would open a thread everytime I have relationship problems... oh dear.
Has this gem been cross-posted? Found it in LGBTQera:
Posted yesterday.
Posted yesterday.
Don't worry the OP and some other people ITT will come and defend this shit, because reasons.
