OP
OP
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Am I a golddigger?
- Thread starter Kismet
- Start date
What folks, I am doing important work right now
B-Dubs can't save himself
But you didnt change so you are still misogynistic. (Oh, I wanted to leave this thread, but whatever. I'm not perfect.)
OP's thread is presented as a question, as if they genuinely want people's feedback. However, all OP has been doing is bouncing off people who aren't saying what he wants to hear all while repeating how he doesn't care what people think of him and will do whatever he wants.... which is fine I guess but it couldn't be more apparent that the purpose of the thread is for OP to stroke his own ego at this point.
Anyone else hear the family feud buzzer when reading this?
"People who aren't motivated bore me"
*Wants to "retire" at 35 and have another man provide everything for him*
Lmao your lack of self-awareness is Trumpian dawg
Alright! Just got home from work, and I have some thoughts:
First thought: Some of y'all, I suppose in an attempt to sound progressive on the subject of dating, are lacking the self-awareness to see how regressive you actually sound? Some of these posts aimed at OP are not too far off from guys in bars who have bought me drinks without even introducing themselves to me, and then got mad when I didn't give them my number. Or the guy who took me out to dinner and then a concert, but then texted me "you're a fucking bitch" after dropping me off at the end of the night because I wouldn't give him road head.
Let's make one thing absolutely clear: OP does not owe this man SHIT. Money, or the acceptance of gifts, does not mean that the giver now owns you, or that the receiver has to reciprocate in ANY way. If this man, who OP has been very clear with in regards to his feelings, feels like he can win him by black card swipe, that's on him. Full stop.
Next thought: OP, are you a Golddigger? NO.
Here's why:
Golddiggers target. They look for, isolate, and deceive partners for the express purpose of being taken care of or having access to that person's money. OP isn't doing any of that. OP isn't pursuing this guy; this guy is pursuing him. It was THIS GUY who brought up the subject of his wealth and started raining down the gifts when he sensed that OP was losing interest. OP isn't lying to this guy; he mentioned on the first page that he's been upfront about his ambivalent feelings. Maybe I've missed the posts, but I'm not getting the picture of a hopelessly in love man being conned out of his cash and taken advantage of oh the woe. I see a man who knows exactly what he's doing. I see a man who knows he's wealthy, who knows the power wealth has as a lure, and is using that power to get what HE wants. I'm seeing a man who has heard the saying, "It ain't trickin if you got it."
And hey, that's life! That is real freakin life. Some people date for love. Some people date for companionship. And some people date because they have the money to keep your ass around (and are willing to spend it). Those people are called sugar daddies; and the people who accept the "love language" of a sugar daddy in the form of gifts and trips to Paris, those are called sugar babies. These terms aren't just lyrics in pop songs. They're descriptors of actual relationship dynamics that play out in real life.
OP, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Just continue to be honest with him AND yourself. And if he wants to keep spending his money knowing damn well how you feel? Shiiiiiieeeeeeet.
BUT, if you are going to live the City Boy life, a word of caution: make sure you keep YOUR BAG secured. Because sugar daddies do get bored...eventually.
First thought: Some of y'all, I suppose in an attempt to sound progressive on the subject of dating, are lacking the self-awareness to see how regressive you actually sound? Some of these posts aimed at OP are not too far off from guys in bars who have bought me drinks without even introducing themselves to me, and then got mad when I didn't give them my number. Or the guy who took me out to dinner and then a concert, but then texted me "you're a fucking bitch" after dropping me off at the end of the night because I wouldn't give him road head.
Let's make one thing absolutely clear: OP does not owe this man SHIT. Money, or the acceptance of gifts, does not mean that the giver now owns you, or that the receiver has to reciprocate in ANY way. If this man, who OP has been very clear with in regards to his feelings, feels like he can win him by black card swipe, that's on him. Full stop.
Next thought: OP, are you a Golddigger? NO.
Here's why:
Golddiggers target. They look for, isolate, and deceive partners for the express purpose of being taken care of or having access to that person's money. OP isn't doing any of that. OP isn't pursuing this guy; this guy is pursuing him. It was THIS GUY who brought up the subject of his wealth and started raining down the gifts when he sensed that OP was losing interest. OP isn't lying to this guy; he mentioned on the first page that he's been upfront about his ambivalent feelings. Maybe I've missed the posts, but I'm not getting the picture of a hopelessly in love man being conned out of his cash and taken advantage of oh the woe. I see a man who knows exactly what he's doing. I see a man who knows he's wealthy, who knows the power wealth has as a lure, and is using that power to get what HE wants. I'm seeing a man who has heard the saying, "It ain't trickin if you got it."
And hey, that's life! That is real freakin life. Some people date for love. Some people date for companionship. And some people date because they have the money to keep your ass around (and are willing to spend it). Those people are called sugar daddies; and the people who accept the "love language" of a sugar daddy in the form of gifts and trips to Paris, those are called sugar babies. These terms aren't just lyrics in pop songs. They're descriptors of actual relationship dynamics that play out in real life.
OP, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Just continue to be honest with him AND yourself. And if he wants to keep spending his money knowing damn well how you feel? Shiiiiiieeeeeeet.
BUT, if you are going to live the City Boy life, a word of caution: make sure you keep YOUR BAG secured. Because sugar daddies do get bored...eventually.
Whew, I thought Game of Thrones Season 8 or Christina Aguilera's stillborn attempt at a comeback nobody asked for would be the biggest train wreck of 2019.
The way this thread went off the rails (I mean, it didn't have rails to begin with)...
I think Kismet won... and we lost (stream MATERIAL GIRL by Madonna).
The way this thread went off the rails (I mean, it didn't have rails to begin with)...
I think Kismet won... and we lost (stream MATERIAL GIRL by Madonna).
OP's sugar daddy when OP gets older and loose and he has to go out for some fresh and tight meat!
Personally I'm unable to accept a relationship fundamentally based on material exchange as valid or deserving of respect. It isn't something I feel obligated to tiptoe around or hold my tongue on either. If you post a thread asking for my opinion, I'm gonna give it. I don't particularly care about the distinction between gold digging and sugar babies. They are two sides of the same coin to me and I suspect many of the other 900+ who voted yes.
well looking at the sugar daddy's current pick i don't think he's too concerned with freshness or tightnessOP's sugar daddy when OP gets older and loose and he has to go out for some fresh and tight meat!
OP
OP
OP's sugar daddy when OP gets older and loose and he has to go out for some fresh and tight meat!
OP's sugar daddy when OP gets older and loose and he has to go out for some fresh and tight meat!
I mean, that is what tends to happeeeen...
A good friend of mine had to stay on my couch for a while a few years back because a guy he'd been living with in a sugar daddy type situation got mad at him one day, over something dumb (I think he'd been over it for a minute), and just took it ALL back. My friend had nothing but his 9 to 5.
Couldn't be me.
A golddigger is someone who would date someone for money/is attracted to people because of their status/wealth, both of which op has admitted to do.
asgdjf I - The tossing a hot dog down a hallway metaphor springs to mind.OP's sugar daddy when OP gets older and loose and he has to go out for some fresh and tight meat!
Your very het usage of "females" in that other God forsaken thread and admission of manually feeding your ex spells a different story but you do you sis.
Sounds like a stressful and difficult game to play but damn if it wouldn't be tempting
I ain't judge op for anything but being kinda a jerk in this thread and previous
Not in this case because OP also has those things. Y'all have been dinging OP for pages now because he's been pretty unembarrassed about being well off himself.
Golddiggers tend to be looking for a come-up.
But, on a related note, I don't really like the term "golddiger." I mean, do golddiggers exist as a thing (the predatory archetype)? Yeah. But oftentimes when "golddigger" is used it's done so as a way to give a pass to men (women too, but we're talking about men here) who both want to flaunt money and/or status as a means to get mates, but then want to be able to turn around and shame you for that.
OP
OP
And go to the gym at least 5x a week.
I'm very active and productive. He admires that. But he thinks I worked enough and deserve a more relaxing life.
And I agree. When he's willing to offer it, I will take it. Without shame.
I just think he wants me to be around him more. But I don't mind. He's a cool guy. And again, this is not an old lonely guy, but a guy that's younger than me and with lots of options.
I'm glad he wants to share with me. Why not. I only live once, and I'd like to have more free time now. I have such a huge backlog in games, movies and books. I'm going to enjoy life.
Maybe I'll get bored of this carefree life, who knows. But when that happens, I'll find a way to make myself happy again. I'm that type of guy.
Who cares?I mean, this page makes it obvious which mod "confirmed" OP's story
If you're defining your manliness by your ability to purchase things, you're as bad as he is lol.
OP doesnt have real wealth, where your money works for you. He is not attracted to the guy but stays because it promises something his level of wealth cant provide: freedom from responsibilities/work. I'm not sure why you dont view that as something a gold digger might be after.
OP cant afford the life he wants, found someone who can. Sticks with him for that.
He'll be renting his house after knowing this guy a month. That's a come-up, no? That's a good amount of cash, every month. Especially if the OP is also upper class.
I have nothing against any gold digger relationship (sugar variants included) as long as the parties are honest and up front with each other with what they are looking for and their expectations, same as any other relationship.
But to say he has "those things" is disingenuous. Hes in it to get something he cant currently afford: a life of leisure.
I'm not sure calling someone who is admittedly in a relationship for monetary reasons a gold digger is shaming them.
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OP
OP
I mean, this page makes it obvious which mod "confirmed" OP's story
Actually, not just one mod..
But in the end I agree with what the mod(s) said. I don't need to send personal info to them to prove I'm right. If someone doesn't believe me, it's in their right.
One thing's for sure though, I would never want to prove anything to anyone here (anymore) Sending a message to mod(s) about this story was a promise. I held on to that. :)
So yeah, it's real. I'm in this situation. Thanks for the feedback and the advice. But I know what I'm doing. I just wanted to know what you guys would do in this situation. Because I know what I will do.
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Hmmm, I originally read this as him being able to have this lifestyle because someone else would be doing the work to pay for it. But, points were made...
OP, you might be a little golddiggerish. I don't like that term because there's an implication of deception embedded within it, and nothing about the OP's situation leads me to believe this man isn't completely aware of what he's getting into. But, yeah, maybe...a little lite golddigger.
