Am I being paranoid? Or unreasonable?

Mondai

Member
Dec 8, 2018
1,690
Have more self respect OP, you should leave her at this point, you deserve better, thats alot of red flags.
 

Mammoth Jones

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,586
New York
First thing, when your partner cheats on you with someone, them asking to stay friends with that person afterwards is a BIG FUCKING NO.
Yea. Cmon. How much of a doormat are you?

Ready for some medicine? It's not going to taste good. You ready? Here it comes. Open wide:

No one respects a doormat. They use them. Your wife has zero respect for you. Because you have zero respect for yourself.

Yes she's still fucking him. Or someone else. Now the question is do you have enough of a sense of self worth to let her kick rocks and move on with your life or would you prefer to live a lie?

Don't be so afraid to be alone that you tolerate such disrespect.
 

sph3re

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
4,602
Yea. Cmon. How much of a doormat are you?

Ready for some medicine? It's not going to taste good. You ready? Here it comes. Open wide:

No one respects a doormat. They use them. Your wife has zero respect for you. Because you have zero respect for yourself.

Yes she's still fucking him. Or someone else. Now the question is do you have enough of a sense of self worth to let her kick rocks and move on with your life or would you prefer to live a lie?

Don't be so afraid to be alone that you tolerate such disrespect.
Could probably lock the thread after this, tbh
 

Usyren

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,546
User Banned (5 Days): Personal attacks against other members
Dude. You're such a fucking loser.

I hope this is some sort of troll thread. Otherwise lmao
 

-Pyromaniac-

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,070
Yea. Cmon. How much of a doormat are you?

Ready for some medicine? It's not going to taste good. You ready? Here it comes. Open wide:

No one respects a doormat. They use them. Your wife has zero respect for you. Because you have zero respect for yourself.

Yes she's still fucking him. Or someone else. Now the question is do you have enough of a sense of self worth to let her kick rocks and move on with your life or would you prefer to live a lie?

Don't be so afraid to be alone that you tolerate such disrespect.
so harsh lol

but true. Motivational if anything. Respect yourself man.
 

sph3re

Avenger
Oct 28, 2017
4,602
You lost me at "she begged me to keep talking to this guy who was feeding it to her," but damn dude, giving everyone on her phone fake names? You for real, dawg? You needed to ask us about that?
 

Matrix XII

Member
Oct 27, 2017
883
Sad story to read man. She’s definitely not telling the truth and then trying to reflect back at you. No one changes the names in a phone for fun. No one.
 

Koo

Member
Dec 10, 2017
1,749
Go to her and tell her to knock the shit off. If she wants a fresh start with you as she claims then she needs to accept you're going to have a little paranoia about this. Be honest with her and let her know you were never comfortable with the affair to begin with, but went along with it due to your own insecurities about losing her. To be fair to her it sounds like you allowed her to do this even after she rejected your ground rules. You could have put a stop to things then and there but it sounds like you threw up your hands and just let her do what she wanted.

You guys probably need couple's counseling. You'll both have to be honest about what you want out of your relationship going forward. You say you're completely disabled? That's a lot to put on someone if she's your sole caregiver. Are you able to be intimate with her in the way she wants? Is this why she pursued the affair to begin with?

You may love her and she may love you; but you also can't chain a person down and expect all your needs/wishes be met while theirs are ignored.

Honesty and couple's counseling is what you both need. In the meantime she does need to respect your paranoia a bit and stop playing phone games. If she won't you probably know why and you need to ask if she's serious about a fresh start or not.
 

BeforeU

Banned for use of alt account
Banned
Oct 30, 2017
1,933
I am sorry but come on man, there is red flag all over this. How do you not see it?
 
Oct 27, 2017
9,647
Honestly OP should probably contact the right people to deal with this legally, then grab his favorite meal with some friends, or chill at home and play some Nintendo. Try not to think about this until the time comes. Which is probably now...but you'll probably need a few days to chill.
 

Vic_Viper

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,434
I went through something similar with an ex gf and it did not end well. I hate to say it but you need to leave her. This isnt going to work itself out.
 

Messi

Community Resettler
Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,159
The phone thing gives it away 100%. No one does that for fun. It's a hassle and she did it to hide the dude. Sorry man. Fuckin shit situation.
 

jb1234

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,106
Everything is harder when you're sick. I'm sorry, OP. If you're dependent on her for financial help or caregiving, this is just an incredibly shitty situation.
 

Thequietone

Member
Oct 26, 2017
824
Not paranoid at all. My ex wife did the exact same thing. Now I'm going through a divorce. Expect her to say she doesn't love you anymore. That was the next step in my experience. Sorry, it hurts to hear and experience this. I attempted suicide twice afterwards cause it hurt so much. Now I'm here glad that I failed both attempts.
 

Chrome Hyena

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,465
no, you're not being paranoid. To me, it sounds like she probably didn't stop.

But here is the thing, if you're going to try to make it work, you have to trust her eventually, but it also sounds to me like you probably, deep down, have not been able to put this behind you.
 

-PXG-

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,154
NJ
You should have fucking left her ass back in December. Have some goddamn self respect. Oh my goodness...

Divorce, now.
 

Pasha

Member
Jan 27, 2018
1,184
Does that guy have a wife or a SO?
If he does, maybe you should get her opinion on the matter.
 
Oct 27, 2017
456
Need some slight clarification here... How do you know she changed the names of her contacts, unless you went through her stuff? You said she did this after you used her phone, so how do you know she changed things? I'm of the opinion that couples shouldn't really have any secrets between each other, but this also sounds like you're leaving some details out.



But still, I'm even more of the opinion that cheating = break-up.
It's not the answer you want to hear, I'm sure, but pretty much everybody in the thread seems to agree. She cheated on you, she broke your trust, she betrayed your daughter by not respecting you, she's not worth your time.

It's going to hurt for a while; a long while, to break up with her. Staying with her will hurt for even longer, though.
 

Araujo

Member
Dec 5, 2017
1,746
You deserve better than this.

Take better care of yourself.

Time to move on and be happy. She aint the one.

Sorry dude. But move on.
 

Necromanti

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,692
Is there any way you can get a caretaker to help out?

After that, get a divorce. For your daughter's sake.