Didn’t i just say that on the previous page? Hot damn I was right
Am I being paranoid? Or unreasonable?
- Thread starter echoshifting
- Start date
Fuck that. You have to put in a lot of work to regain trust after an affair, and it sounds like she still has quite a way to go.
Do you call a divorce lawyer man she's a lying to you brother
Yea. Cmon. How much of a doormat are you?
Ready for some medicine? It's not going to taste good. You ready? Here it comes. Open wide:
No one respects a doormat. They use them. Your wife has zero respect for you. Because you have zero respect for yourself.
Yes she's still fucking him. Or someone else. Now the question is do you have enough of a sense of self worth to let her kick rocks and move on with your life or would you prefer to live a lie?
Don't be so afraid to be alone that you tolerate such disrespect.
so harsh lol
but true. Motivational if anything. Respect yourself man.
Sad story to read man. She’s definitely not telling the truth and then trying to reflect back at you. No one changes the names in a phone for fun. No one.
Go to her and tell her to knock the shit off. If she wants a fresh start with you as she claims then she needs to accept you're going to have a little paranoia about this. Be honest with her and let her know you were never comfortable with the affair to begin with, but went along with it due to your own insecurities about losing her. To be fair to her it sounds like you allowed her to do this even after she rejected your ground rules. You could have put a stop to things then and there but it sounds like you threw up your hands and just let her do what she wanted.
You guys probably need couple's counseling. You'll both have to be honest about what you want out of your relationship going forward. You say you're completely disabled? That's a lot to put on someone if she's your sole caregiver. Are you able to be intimate with her in the way she wants? Is this why she pursued the affair to begin with?
You may love her and she may love you; but you also can't chain a person down and expect all your needs/wishes be met while theirs are ignored.
Honesty and couple's counseling is what you both need. In the meantime she does need to respect your paranoia a bit and stop playing phone games. If she won't you probably know why and you need to ask if she's serious about a fresh start or not.
You guys probably need couple's counseling. You'll both have to be honest about what you want out of your relationship going forward. You say you're completely disabled? That's a lot to put on someone if she's your sole caregiver. Are you able to be intimate with her in the way she wants? Is this why she pursued the affair to begin with?
You may love her and she may love you; but you also can't chain a person down and expect all your needs/wishes be met while theirs are ignored.
Honesty and couple's counseling is what you both need. In the meantime she does need to respect your paranoia a bit and stop playing phone games. If she won't you probably know why and you need to ask if she's serious about a fresh start or not.
Jesus. Not that what you wrote isn’t true but the poor guy is disabled and in really poor health. Go a little easy on him.
Honestly OP should probably contact the right people to deal with this legally, then grab his favorite meal with some friends, or chill at home and play some Nintendo. Try not to think about this until the time comes. Which is probably now...but you'll probably need a few days to chill.
Not paranoid at all. My ex wife did the exact same thing. Now I'm going through a divorce. Expect her to say she doesn't love you anymore. That was the next step in my experience. Sorry, it hurts to hear and experience this. I attempted suicide twice afterwards cause it hurt so much. Now I'm here glad that I failed both attempts.
All the more reason to get away from people using and disrespecting you.
OP deserves better than someone lying to them.
OP
OP
Both.
Going out with my best buddy for beers, gonna get his perspective on the situation
no, you're not being paranoid. To me, it sounds like she probably didn't stop.
But here is the thing, if you're going to try to make it work, you have to trust her eventually, but it also sounds to me like you probably, deep down, have not been able to put this behind you.
But here is the thing, if you're going to try to make it work, you have to trust her eventually, but it also sounds to me like you probably, deep down, have not been able to put this behind you.
Fuck, I'm sorry man. I deal with severe chronic pain myself and I know how destructive it can be to both lives and relationships. I hope you get valuable perspective this evening.
Need some slight clarification here... How do you know she changed the names of her contacts, unless you went through her stuff? You said she did this after you used her phone, so how do you know she changed things? I'm of the opinion that couples shouldn't really have any secrets between each other, but this also sounds like you're leaving some details out.
But still, I'm even more of the opinion that cheating = break-up.
It's not the answer you want to hear, I'm sure, but pretty much everybody in the thread seems to agree. She cheated on you, she broke your trust, she betrayed your daughter by not respecting you, she's not worth your time.
It's going to hurt for a while; a long while, to break up with her. Staying with her will hurt for even longer, though.
But still, I'm even more of the opinion that cheating = break-up.
It's not the answer you want to hear, I'm sure, but pretty much everybody in the thread seems to agree. She cheated on you, she broke your trust, she betrayed your daughter by not respecting you, she's not worth your time.
It's going to hurt for a while; a long while, to break up with her. Staying with her will hurt for even longer, though.
Is there any way you can get a caretaker to help out?
After that, get a divorce. For your daughter's sake.
After that, get a divorce. For your daughter's sake.
