Jesus fucking christ the irony, lol.
You did not or you would have seen I covered all of this twice now. :)
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Am I being ridiculous? (about our daughter's name)
- Thread starter Deleted member 31104
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Jesus fucking christ the irony, lol.
You're totally right. It is interesting. "we have a different alphabet" is not an explanation. The other examples are at least phonetically close. For foreigners it would be difficult to get that name right without hearing it. Scratch that, it would be impossible.
Okay it seems like you're just going to continue dismissing me. Maybe I missed it, but I've read the posts twice now and I've seen nothing, if you really wanted to have a conversation about it you would point it out instead of being patronising in everyway possible.
Since women are the ones risking their lives during child birth I think they should have final say on names (as long as it's not a crazy ass name). If you're worried do what someone else said and give her a simple middle name that she can use if it starts to annoy her.
All I'll say is you don't know where in the world your daughter will wind up. That name would be a source of unending frustration for her if she wound up living in the U.S. or another English-speaking nation farther away from Ireland, but if she wound up just about anywhere else where English wasn't the dominant language, I'm sure her name would be just as intelligible to locals as any other foreign name.
Personally I think it sounds like a great candidate for a middle name. There's nothing stopping you from calling her by that name in daily life. But given the reach of the English language from a global perspective, she'll probably be less likely to encounter issues if you just go with an English legal name.
That's a pretty weird take. Does mom also get veto power over bedtime and final say on disciplinary action because she risked her life in childbirth?
Personally I think it sounds like a great candidate for a middle name. There's nothing stopping you from calling her by that name in daily life. But given the reach of the English language from a global perspective, she'll probably be less likely to encounter issues if you just go with an English legal name.
That's a pretty weird take. Does mom also get veto power over bedtime and final say on disciplinary action because she risked her life in childbirth?
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The lack of any social or cultural awareness in this thread is something to behold.
I don't understand what's so bad about it. It's like Eve or Eva with a k sound. You're also ignoring that different names sound different in different cultures.
I don't want to have a conversation about it though.... and I have no interest in helping you out when the posts are clear and you came in with the attitude you did.
I literally cover this exact thing in an exchange with the OP themself.
You replied to the OP saying that he lived in Scotland with this:
Clearly stating that in Ireland the name is fine, but outside is not. Implying that the name is not known outside Ireland. But I, and others have pointed out, it is a popular name in Scotland also. So my point stands while you continue being patronising and not contributing anything.
I can't believe this is still happening... you have no gotcha and your pedantic need for one to save face is pretty gross.
Let's stop.
Objection. The name is not awful.
Also, do you guys never work with people from other cultures? Encountering people with names you've never heard before is a daily thing to me. The most shit you'll get in adult life from having a unique or uncommon name is from Coffee places asking for your name. And that's shitty even with a regular name.
My anglicised name is Julian (my actual name is Korean) , and I got bullied for it growing up in England.
People still get my name wrong all the time now.
Don't act like people aren't valid for being concerned about potential bullying
FWIW I like the name but be prepared for people to struggle with it
I'm going to fess up here... the post I was thinking off, for whatever reason, I typed out as part of a multi exchange and did not actually post it.
So this one is fully on me and I apologize. It was in response to the the person who listed how common the name is in Scotland, and I commented on how it doesn't seem to be as huge an issue then but that it was still not common enough to avoid all issues. I don't know how it didn't post, ideas certain it did (unless I missed it when I read through just now...).
As I said, that's fully on me and I'm sorry for giving you shit.
Do you have a unique or uncommon name? That's not the "most shit".
I'm part of a gaming group on Facebook where my first name is front and centre, I've had people mock my name openly a few times.
I can shrug it off now as I'm used to it.
I absofuckinglutely guarantee you that, I made a thread stating I wanted to name my kid and put my actual name, half the thread would be mocking it.
I'm used to it, but people are regularly fucking idiots about it.
It wasn't a "gotcha" I was trying to have a conversation which you clearly didn't want, so I don't understand why you replied to the thread. I'll stop replying to you because clearly me talking about the topic at hand is upsetting you.
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It's fine, but I would suggest in future not assuming people haven't read things unless they're talking complete shite.
The compromise of giving her a more "English" middle name sounds ideal
I've only ever heard of it without the "w" any way so it's "kee-vah".
Ciamar a thá thu an-diugh?
It doesn't if you say it right, which the text in OP didn't really make clear. Kwee-vah. The "vah" is really distinct so it's nowhere near "queef".
I've only ever heard of it without the "w" any way so it's "kee-vah".
Lmao. It's not about how you read it, it's about how it's pronounced in Irish and Gaelic, which are different languages to English.
Ciamar a thá thu an-diugh?
Mumsnet is TERF paradise. I think any decent parent avoiding that place entirely is for the best.
Was very helpful for me 5 years ago but I stuck to the babies part. Didn't really do into the other areas.
Aren't they re kindling Gaelic in schools though? So by the time your daughter is in school, most people should be learning it?
Honestly, it's a nice name to me, including its spelling. I think it really shouldn't matter if other people are going to have to put up a ? when they first see it. They can deal, it's a global world. I was given a super basic typical first name. As a result there was always 2-3 in a class at a time or workplace that I'd be nicknamed or called by my last name which everyone and their mother utterly refuses to acknowledge that there's a "U" in it. They skip over it and get it wrong all the time. This used to bother me but as I got older I stopped giving any fucks about it.
Also helps that I've come to really appreciate Irish through one of my best friends. She came from there at around 20 and is dead set on me learning basic Gaelic. It's definitely not working but I do appreciate the language a lot.
Also helps that I've come to really appreciate Irish through one of my best friends. She came from there at around 20 and is dead set on me learning basic Gaelic. It's definitely not working but I do appreciate the language a lot.
As I said, my name is uncommon in most places. I've worked mostly in international settings (meaning, from people who are not familiar with my name) and a lot of my internet connections are just as unfamiliar with it. (A little break came when a character with my name appeared on The Good Wife though!)
It's not the same as growing up with an uncommon name for sure, but again - These are just considerations to take into account. By adulthood, I think people are mostly able to live with their name or change it themselves if they actually suffer from it that much (though, as personal opinion, anyone who considers a name to have ruined his life probably needs to gain some perspective.)
I can say to you that probably I. and a lot of people, wouldn't mock you name because not everyone in the world in an idiot - And idiots are to be ignored. I don't know your name, but I'm pretty sure it's not the weirdest one I've encountered.
To me as a German it sounds unusual to say the least, but traditional names are nice. I'd go with a middle name to fall back on with such a name. My parents always told me a kid should be able to spell its name easily so it doesn't get frustrating when it's among the first things you learn to spell in school. Don't know if I'd get in a fight over that but it's something to think about.
Your wife is not the one who will have to live with explaining to everyone how to pronounce her name or getting bullied in school for it (kids can be cruel and vicious about names!). Selecting a name is not just about what the parents like. The top priority is the child, and if she will have a harder time in the environment she will grow up in because of a difficult (there is a difference between unusual and difficult names) then the parents should choose a different one. That you can't even agree with her grandmother about the pronunciation should tell you enough.
I have to spell out both my first and last name every single time I talk to someone new and it's quite inconvenient. Not life-ruining or anything, but I wish my parents had thought twice about my first name.
Without being disrespectful, how is Caoimhe pronounced as Kweeva... I genuinely want to know. I can understand the C having a K sound, the AO maaaybe a W sound, the I is likely just EE, but one does one pronounce MHE as VA? Unless the letters themselves aren't pronounced the same way of course.
Not everything has to conform around English. If the English hadn't tried to exterminate Irish culture the name would be much more common.
It's a different language so don't try to apply English standards to it.
Thanks and I agree with a lot of what you wrote.
Bullying can be so pronounced that it can ruin a person's life, though, or at least create issues that affect a person all through it, and that can stem from something as innocent as a unique name so I'm not sure I agree with that part entirely.
Ultimately though I think we're on a similar page. I just hope people realise these things can and do have an affect on the wellbeing of kids.
Hi there, I'm a person with a traditional Irish name in the US and... it's really not a big deal to explain how to pronounce it to people. Sure it's kind of annoying to have the same conversation over and over again, but I like having a name very few other people have and I would say that the benefits of having a unique, interesting name far outweigh the tiny hassle of having to explain to substitute teachers etc. how to pronounce it. And honestly, unless your name is something extremely boring there'll be someone who won't be able to spell or pronounce it. Most of the time your daughter will be introducing herself verbally and then people will know how to pronounce it--who cares if they know how to spell it?
(Also sorry I just replied to the beginning of the thread, I was having trouble tagging)
Basically, if you see "mh" and often "db" in Irish, it's pronounced more like a "v" sound.
Thanks and I agree with a lot of what you wrote.
Bullying can be so pronounced that it can ruin a person's life, though, or at least create issues that affect a person all through it, and that can stem from something as innocent as a unique name so I'm not sure I agree with that part entirely.
Ultimately though I think we're on a similar page. I just hope people realise these things can and do have an affect on the wellbeing of kids.
People advocating against because of bullying, would you change your surname for your child if it was easy to bully? For instance, my last name is Butz, should I change it so my kids don't get bullied?
I'm a little taken aback by some of the takes in this thread. It seems like posters think my American parents were setting me up for a lifetime of bullying by giving me a traditional Irish name. (Like many Americans I have mostly Irish heritage). Is everyone in America supposed to name their kid something like "Thomas" just because that happens to be a "normal" name here (for middle/upper-class white people)? Are all immigrant families supposed to give their children white American names instead of picking something they actually like and is meaningful to them? Sure, there are studies out there about how kids with "unusual" names have lower earning potential and shit like that, but "unusual" names are only getting more and more common as the world continues to become more international. And why should parents have to cave to a bunch of closeminded people who think all kids should be named things that it's easy for them to pronounce?
Yeah, it sucks that kids bully kids with "different" names. A lot of kids are shitty and will bully other kids for literally anything. Would you rather teach your child that you should always conform to groupthink when you get bullied, or that being different is ok?
Yeah, it sucks that kids bully kids with "different" names. A lot of kids are shitty and will bully other kids for literally anything. Would you rather teach your child that you should always conform to groupthink when you get bullied, or that being different is ok?
Clearly you should name your child something that sounds similar to "I kick". Problem solved.
Other people have covered this, but Irish Gaelic is actually completely phonetic once you know the (admittedly odd) pronunciation rules. So once you know the rules it's actually easier to pronounce than English, which is a mishmash of inconsistently applied phonetic rules from tons of other languages.
And that's just the first of many possible questions that follow if we accept the nonsense logic being peddled by the majority in this thread, the idiots who see Caoimhe and think "kweef" (also, they don't sound the same).
What other aspects of their cultural identity should immigrants supress in order not to inconvenience the majority or otherwise stand out and possibly attract the attention of idiots/bullies?
Oh it's ok to retain/pass on your culture, just as long as it's not the weird stuff (as judged by Americans) ,like this guy should tell his wife that an Irish name is ok, just one of the less weird ones. Y'know the one's that sound English and therefore not weird.
Or how about Saoirse? There's an actress with that name, so we know it and therefore it isn't totally foreign and weird.
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Yeah kind of hilarious that people think English is some perfect language. It's a disgusting mishmash of other languages and completely inconsistent.
Children don't get called by their last names. Teachers don't call kids by their last name. Often school kids don't even know the other kids' last names. You also have an easy choice to avoid giving your child a first name that will probably lead to teasing and bullying, while your last name is what it is. It's not really comparable.
Little Timmy in Kindergarten and Sarah in 3rd grade won't know or care that we live in a globalized world and different languages and dialects have very different names. They'll hear a funny name, they see that spelling and pronunciation are completely different than what they know and make fun of the kid. That's just the way kids are. Stop thinking with your adult perspective and think of the years the kid will have to spend in school with other children before she will reach the point in life that you're at now. Kids won't think the way you do, they won't have the experience with other cultures that you have. If the spelling of the name were different it wouldn't be that much of a deal tbh, but as it is she will have to explain to everyone not familiar with that particular variety of English how to pronounce it or have people mispronounce her name in all kinds of ways. Teacher reads name wrong, it sounds funny, kids laugh. Common scenario she could face.
I'm not sure, I think little Aniruddha, Javier, Tenzin, et al. in my elementary school in middle America might have a teensy bit of experience with non-majoritarian cultures in America. Or should all of these people from non-Anglo cultures have given their kids middle-class white American names to fit in?
Another example of the amazingly insular thinking in this thread. I assume you left out "in my part of America" from your facts there.
Children very much DO call each other by their surnames and nicknames based on the surnames in Ireland and Britain.
I was bullied throughout my School career for my first name AND middle name (From the UK, but have a 'traditional' US first name that features a lot in American culture, but means something completely different in the UK).
Please don't say I went through all of that shite just for nothing, man.
1. Kids will make fun of your kid for 100000 reasons. Kids are very capable of making fun of very ordinary names.
2. I don't go through life bending to the whims of bullies.
3. I'm sure she will be able to grow through the trauma of having the teacher misspell or mispronounce her name, as hard as that is.
4. What you're suggesting and defending here is cultural assimilation. Your take might sit on being a "realist" but the end result is just the same - Give in to the dominant culture, erase your cultural heritage.
5. As the world becomes more global, experiences will change. These kids will grow up to a world connected through the internet, and they will come across all sort of names as they play online games, or interact with international people in general. They'll hopefully grow up to be much more understanding and welcoming than you are.
Yeah, it's not like Michael ("Mai-kel") or George ("Djordj") make much more sense unless you know the pronunciation rules of English.
It's not even consistent in America. I was called "Mr." Last Name through most of primary and secondary school.
I'm not trying to imply that you got bullied "for nothing," I'm sorry that happened to you. I wish kids were nice and there were no bullies, but I also don't think all parents should choose names on the basis of whether or not some kids will be little closeminded bigots. I would (and still do) occasionally get made fun of for my name, but I'm still glad I have a name that's meaningful to myself and my parents. I'm sorry if you don't feel that way, and I think it's important for many people in this thread to remember that what counts as an "unusual" name is different depending on where you are, so your perspective is valuable and appreciated. I certainly didn't mean to devalue your experience.