Am I taking this too personally?

[John Doe]

So I had an interview today which I think will lead to a job offer but I don't want to take it. A bit of background, I went to law school graduated in 2017 and haven't been able to find a job since. My main connection in the field left to go into politics and I haven't heard anything from her since. Had a few interviews, ghosted each time.

Now I had an interview today and the interviewer, who is the owner of the firm, asks me what I've been doing this past year, why my friends or family haven't given me legal work to do.

She then asks "Maybe its something (wrong) with you that your family hasn't given you any work." and I feel awful because the implication being that I'm so incapable or incompetent that my own family won't give me anything to do. I handwave it away by saying I'm the baby of the family and everyone has their own attorney etc etc.

I know its just one question but it just turned my mind away from the entire thing. Am I being too sensitive or was she in the wrong?

 

[Deleted member 17092]

She's in the wrong, the legal job market sucks, but that's why you should probably take the job if you get an offer. Tons of attorneys out there working jobs that do not at all require a JD because they have no other choice. There's 3 of them at my company of 50 people.

 

[xxracerxx]

It's a shitty thing to say, but I guess it is really in her tone how she meant it to come across. Would you be interacting with her daily? If no, just take the job and then keep looking.

Also, who the fuck needs attorneys that often? If you were in my family, we would have nothing for you to do.

 

[Adventureracing]

If you need work I'd be taking it. It's a weird thing to say though, at least amongst my family we've basically never needed any legal assistance let alone in the past year. Not sure why they would assume you'd get work there.

 

[Deleted member 24907]

I dunno how law interviews work (I'm assuming there's psychological power plays and shit), but she sounds like an asshole, tbh.

Why would your family give you legal work unless they're also in the field? What's she expecting, that they be suing people left and right, or that you notarizing shit for them is really gonna make a big difference?

 

[Addie]

I think the bigger issue is that you graduated law school (have you passed the bar?) back in 2017 and you're actually considering turning down work.

 

[healbite-maritima]

So I had an interview today which I think will lead to a job offer but I don't want to take it. A bit of background, I went to law school graduated in 2017 and haven't been able to find a job since. My main connection in the field left to go into politics and I haven't heard anything from her since. Had a few interviews, ghosted each time.

Now I had an interview today and the interviewer, who is the owner of the firm, asks me what I've been doing this past year, why my friends or family haven't given me legal work to do.

She then asks "Maybe its something (wrong) with you that your family hasn't given you any work." and I feel awful because the implication being that I'm so incapable or incompetent that my own family won't give me anything to do. I handwave it away by saying I'm the baby of the family and everyone has their own attorney etc etc.

I know its just one question but it just turned my mind away from the entire thing. Am I being too sensitive or was she in the wrong?

Click to shrink...

I think she definitely made an unprofessional "comment", and is that really the kind of environment you would want to work in?

 

[Lightus]

I mean it was definitely rude of her but I wouldn't let it get to you. People say dumb stuff like that all the time, it's not worth the energy to process.

Potentially turning down the job because of it is nuts.

 

[Commedieu]

i feel like you didn't defend yourself all that well. You called yourself a baby, and said they'd rather professional lawyers do the work of your loved ones...

some levity coulda gone a long way perhaps.. but.. you never know. I don't know her tone, only you do.

 

[Certinfy]

She's a bitch for saying that. Don't let it hurt you though. Just be glad you don't work for her.

 

[Kirblar]

That was a pretty out of bounds question by her w/ the way she phrased it. (a "were you able to get any practice in via friends/family btw?" would be a much better way of asking.)

A better response probably would have been "thankfully my family's had a boring year, etc. etc." but you really shouldn't have been put on the spot like that.

 

[Addie]

More to the point: you couldn't find anything since graduation, and while that's unfortunate, it should temper your expectations. Accordingly, I'm betting this isn't a large firm at all, considering you have no work history and you dealt with the firm's owner.

Setting all of that aside, the question itself is pretty fucking asinine. I suppose if you were interviewing at a small firm focused on estate planning, maybe you could've mentioned reviewing something for family members, but I'd never represent my family or friends, and they just don't have legal work for me to do even if I wanted.

None of this sounds good. It was a silly, unprofessional question that leads me to question the overall competence of this woman's practice.

But work is work.

(Obviously, keep looking elsewhere! Have you considered, at the very least, some doc review in the interim? Or even part-time work?)

Get in somewhere, make connections with your local bar association, and start attending panels and meetings. Your first job is just your first job. You won't be there longer than 3 years.

 

[Alwayscrazybacon]

So I had an interview today which I think will lead to a job offer but I don't want to take it. A bit of background, I went to law school graduated in 2017 and haven't been able to find a job since. My main connection in the field left to go into politics and I haven't heard anything from her since. Had a few interviews, ghosted each time.

Now I had an interview today and the interviewer, who is the owner of the firm, asks me what I've been doing this past year, why my friends or family haven't given me legal work to do.

She then asks "Maybe its something (wrong) with you that your family hasn't given you any work." and I feel awful because the implication being that I'm so incapable or incompetent that my own family won't give me anything to do. I handwave it away by saying I'm the baby of the family and everyone has their own attorney etc etc.

I know its just one question but it just turned my mind away from the entire thing. Am I being too sensitive or was she in the wrong?

Click to shrink...

I think she negged you to see how would react, you passed that test. Now you're overthinking it. Addie is right, don't go turning down job offers.

 

[kubev]

I think a lot of employers seek an explanation for employment gaps in general. Honestly, while I don't agree with her wording, it's possible that she just wanted to see how you'd handle the question, and it sounds like you did it pretty reasonably. I wouldn't take it too seriously. That said, I do think you should accept the position, as some experience is better than none, and I think it could do you a lot of good until you find something that'll be more comfortable for you.

 

[Deleted member 21709]

She's a bitch for saying that. Don't let it hurt you though. Just be glad you don't work for her.

Click to shrink...

A bitch huh

 

[Airegin]

If you turn this down you'll eventually have to explain two years of unemployment.

 

[Deleted member 16365]

Some people make jokes and don't realize they come off as an asshole. It's possible she was kidding with you because she liked you but came off dry and cold.

 

[Officer Big Mac]

I think the bigger issue is that you graduated law school (have you passed the bar?) back in 2017 and you're actually considering turning down work.

Click to shrink...

We need to learn more about this OP. Do you have any job at the moment?

 

[Deleted member 19003]

Don't see how much work you could get from family? Maybe if you're a mob family, heh. Anyways, if that's the way she asked it, it does sound rude.

 

[Stewarto]

I'd take it to get some experience under your belt then look for other opportunities in a year or so

 

[neon/drifter]

We had a special meeting today at my job for the farewell of a man who had contributed years of his life to the company. He wanted to impart knowledge to all of us and he did so with heart. One of the things he said was "Choose your boss, not your job." As in to mean, if you want to work somewhere where you know you'll be appreciated and you'll actually be able to climb the ladder, you'll take note that the boss is worth a damn.

So, basically, I'd hope you don't get that offer. If you do, TAKE IT. But look elsewhere immediately.

 

[-Pyromaniac-]

What a stupid ass thing for them to say lol.

 

[Lump]

Don't forget the eternal truth.

 

[ZackieChan]

Seems like an odd comment, but whatever. Take the job and see how things go. You need to start getting experience.

 

[Dali]

If you think you'll get the job then obviously you shouldn't take it personally because even the owner doesn't believe it. Depending on how it was delivered it could have been a light hearted comment in gest or maybe something meant to spark self reflection. It does seem like an improper or odd thing to say but again if you think you'll get an offer it seems harmless enough.

 

[Spinluck]

Who cares what she thinks? Rarely have I ever liked the people I work for.

Get the job and get experience, then bounce. Rinse repeat.

 

[Shadybiz]

Yeah, definitely an odd thing to say.

COULD have been a little joke, and as another poster said, could have just been her testing you to see how you'd react.

I'd take the job if it's offered though; you really don't want to go too long without employment.

 

[KaladinSB]

No idea. She could be an asshole or just trying to gauge how you would respond?

Weird answer though. Does your family have that much legal work that they all have been using lawyers in the past year?

 

[TrojanAg]

People can't pull legal work out of their ass for you to do lol

A vast majority of people probably don't seek legal advice on a regular basis.

 

[Br3wnor]

If that question bothers you greatly than working for a private firm is going to be rough for you. It's a god damn blood bath and people are going to shit on you every day. Let it roll off your back and accept the job, the longer your unemployment the more toxic you are to hire for a law firm.

 

[Possum Armada]

The answer, every time, to "am i taking this too personally" is yes.

That said, you're a lawyer. You gotta be able to come up with better responses to challenging questions.

 

[ZackieChan]

The answer, every time, to "am i taking this too personally" is yes.

That said, you're a lawyer. You gotta be able to come up with better responses to challenging questions.

Click to shrink...

Also, not get so affected by someone saying something potentially mean to you.

 

[Akira86]

you picked a fine time to find out that lawyers can be assholes, OP.

 

[Powdered Egg]

Immigration is the only field of law I've done work in where lawyers weren't dickhead caricatures. Good luck OP, expect worse in the future and roll with the punches. Watchout for Judge MyDadNeverHuggedme.

 

[PersonAndStuff]

She sounds like a privileged asshole who just assumes everyone gets a job from their dad.

 

[greepoman]

The answer, every time, to "am i taking this too personally" is yes.

That said, you're a lawyer. You gotta be able to come up with better responses to challenging questions.

Click to shrink...

Yeah first thought I had was...you want to be a lawyer but you let that get under your skin enough to turn down a job? Maybe that's why you haven't been lawyering?

I mean put yourself in the interviewer's shoes. Maybe it came out as a little harsh but I get the idea. I work in software development and if I interview someone about a gap I ask what types of programming or learning they've done on their own during that period. Since you have to have a client as a lawyer the logical thing would be to use family and friends. So that's probably the logic behind it...it just came out poorly.

 

[SABO.]

why would your family need you to do legal work for them?

 

[Hassel]

The best defense of your position was to call yourself a baby?

You will need much thicker skin to survive in this industry

 

[thesoapster]

Lawyers can be really bizarre assholes in my experience.

 

[Creation_Scapes]

Don't let it get to you, this is her fault not yours.

 

[Sozzled_Bucket]

Take the job, homie.

That likely wasn't her personally asking that, it's just a product of the business you're getting into. Bucker up, buttercup. It's gonna be a long road ahead.

 

[ZattMurdock]

1. She is in the wrong;
2. I'm a lawyer as well, and it seems that just like in the USA, here in Brazil if you don't have the right contacts in the beginning it's... hard. But if I can give you an advice is, take every opportunity you get in the field, if you don't have the experience or you live somewhere you can't start your own firm. My first boss was known literally by my former colleagues as the Devil Wears Prada, and what I went through was sort of similar. I took the job, worked my way up, and after two years working there I saved enough money - and had enough connections and clients - to start my own firm. The first five years - either as an employee or on your own - are always hard, but you'll storm through it;
3. So my advice is, take the job. Keep your cool. Give everything you have. Watch and learn even from people that clearly know less than you but have the name, which is usually the case in traditional old firms. Even those have something to teach you. And then when you are ready, you'll see that the hell you`ll go through is worth it. I have my own firm now for 6 years, 8 years as a lawyer in total;
4. Best of luck.

 

[Tapiozona]

Sooooo, what have you been doing in the last year? That's what caught my attention most. I'm assuming you've taken another job in another profession (retail, etc) while you career hunt.

If not then her question seems very valid and you're focusing on the wrong half of her sentence..

i.e the part of you not having a record of work for the past year is odd.. if you haven't worked in any capacity could you at least have done legal work for your family as practice?

 

[Tebunker]

The answer, every time, to "am i taking this too personally" is yes.

That said, you're a lawyer. You gotta be able to come up with better responses to challenging questions.

Click to shrink...

This, this right here.

Yeah you are taking it too personal, and two, it was intended to put you on tilt and to see how you react to a tough question. I wouldn't be so confident you are going to get an offer. She offered you a lay up you could of answered 1 in a 100 different ways. Yours was deflection, which can work, but the point of the exercise is that many clients are going to question your expertise, experience and capability until you are more established. This is true in any kind of industry, but law it is huge. You need to act quick on your feet and be prepared for anything. The kind of shit you will get from clients will be ten time worse, and your response could cost the firm contracts and work.

At least you didn't lie. Don't take this shit personal. Remember this is that person's business and livelihood and they are going to be entrusting you with part of that, they will have to be tough on you until you prove yourself.

 

[Wood Man]

Welcome to the work place. Bosses or higher ups can be dicks, push their weight and try to make you feel like a peon every chance they get without even thinking doing it. Not all bosses but most people have had an unreasonable dick boss.

Have thick skin, take the job and don't let this snide comment keep you from some well needed experience.

 

[John Doe]

Bit of an update. Yes I passed the Bar.

What have I been doing?

I've gotten involved with my local bar association and currently sit on three committees (although they hardly ever meet)
Attended seminars
Volunteered
Did some political campaigning
Tutoring

A bit of background. I had a summer job at a firm before I finished law school. I don't want to get into too much detail about that but it was a toxic work environment and I was sexually harassed there for months by a coworker. I didn't tell anyone at first and long story short, when I did the person I told was shocked but did nothing. I was extremely discouraged by that experience and never want to go through something similar so I get where you all are coming from with your just take the job advice, but I need to be sure.

The interview itself, I sort of fell into politics and campaigning purely because the lady I worked with at my summer job got into it. Now the person that interviewed me made it plain that she's a conservative and asked if that is a problem for me, I told her no.

As for the comment that she made, it wasn't the first time she brought it up. After I explained what I was doing for the past year she asked why haven't I worked from home and gotten legal work from my family. I told her I need experience and my family doesn't really have any legal work to give me. So when she brought it up again and implied something was wrong with me, it caught me off guard because of what she said and the fact that we had already been over it. It just left a sour taste in my mouth.

 

[shaneo632]

I don't really understand her question. Do most people's families constantly have litigation going on where they would be able to throw you work?

 

[Smylie]

The interview itself, I sort of fell into politics and campaigning purely because the lady I worked with at my summer job got into it. Now the person that interviewed me made it plain that she's a conservative and asked if that is a problem for me, I told her no.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, maybe don't do this in your upcoming job interviews. Ever.

 

[John Doe]

Yeah, maybe don't do this in your upcoming job interviews. Ever.

Click to shrink...

Don't do what? She asked what I've been doing and I told her I did some campaigning How was I supposed to know that she's a conservative? She asked if it would be a problem for me and I honestly told her no because work is work.

 

[acheron_xl]

I don't really understand her question. Do most people's families constantly have litigation going on where they would be able to throw you work?

Click to shrink...

I'm assuming this is a 'shit rich people do' kinda thing.