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Am I the only one that is finding men becoming harder to trust?

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Deleted member 8118

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Well, I guess it should be best to mention that I am a man.

Lately I've been experiencing harassment on a personal level from men that happen to be around me and in the departments that I do my work in. I've set up shop in another facility to get my work done without having to be bothered.

For the past two years, I've had similar experiences from various men from different backgrounds and walks of life. Mainly it's macho shit talking that I hear and sly remarks about me, especially when women are around or if there's a get-together.

I'm not even sure what makes me a target, to be fair. I haven't had any confrontations with women, and I'd like to say that I get along with women quite a bit more than men and day to day interactions seem more open and compassionate. I'd like to say that I'm a confident person, but this constant battering has made me feel a bit insecure about myself.

Do any of you find this type of behavior troubling?
 
hydrophilic attack

hydrophilic attack

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Oct 25, 2017
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i don't really think people have changed for the worse in these regards. if anything i'd say the global trend is that it's getting ever so slightly better

you're probably just becoming more aware of and attuned to the machismo and toxic masculinity that has always been there
 
Metallix87

Metallix87

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People in general are hard to trust. I don't think there's anything specific to men that makes them harder to trust than women, though I think our culture has cultivated negative behavior in males for generations that we're only now starting to really tackle.
 

Goldfishking

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Oct 27, 2017
309
Nope, not at all. In fact I see more men becoming nicer and more adult. Although that could just be because my friends are becoming adult.

I wouldn't worry about it much OP. Sounds very circumstantial.
 
Dook's Revenge

Dook's Revenge

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M52B28 said:
It goes hand in hand, effecting the ability of someone being able to open up to another based on interactions that have been had.
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I suppose that is a possible connection. If that's the case, then my answer to the title is maybe.

If you are as confident as you say you are then you must fight back, or find other environments, before there is any more erosion to your sense of self-worth. No one else will do it for you.
 
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Anubis

Anubis

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In today's climate, I wouldn't be surprised if this was your sentiment.

We got ways to go before we are to be trusted.
 
TheGhost

TheGhost

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OP, stand up for yourself. Carry yourself better, be confident. You probably been made a target. I'm not saying break someone's jaw, just....stick up for yourself.

As far as trusting men? Guys have been assholes forever, don't trust them. I wouldn't trust younger me that's for sure.
 
Dr. Dre's Dr.

Dr. Dre's Dr.

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Oct 27, 2017
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Nope. I judge each person individually. "Jake" might be untrustworthy but "John" is. Do you, but I think it's unwise to just lump everyone together.
 
OP
OP

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i_am_ben said:
what industry are you in?
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Visual & Industrial Design/Outdoors
TheGhost said:
OP, stand up for yourself. Carry yourself better, be confident. You probably been made a target. I'm not saying break someone's jaw, just....stick up for yourself.
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Unless I'm mistaken, I'd like to believe that I carry myself fine and walk tall.

If I've been made a target for whatever shortcomings I have, I'd like to know what they are. Meanwhile, I'm just blacklisting certain people and avoiding them. I'm not a confrontational person, but I'll stand up if I absolutely must.
 
sleepInsom

sleepInsom

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M52B28 said:
Visual & Industrial Design/Outdoors
Unless I'm mistaken, I'd like to believe that I carry myself fine and walk tall.

If I've been made a target for whatever shortcomings I have, I'd like to know what they are. Meanwhile, I'm just blacklisting certain people and avoiding them. I'm not a confrontational person, but I'll stand up if I absolutely must.
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Are you asking for advice? If so, I don't know what you're expecting when you're unwilling to be forthcoming about what you're talking about.
 
TheGhost

TheGhost

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M52B28 said:
If I've been made a target for whatever shortcomings I have, I'd like to know what they are..
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Thinking too logical, if they are bullies you won't get a logical answer, they probably don't like your shirt or glasses or haircut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Moving to another facility probably made it worse.
I don't know what having a good rapport with women has to do with anything though.

Sounds like school yard shit. You maybe stand out from the rest of the company culture perhaps?
 
Strangelove_77

Strangelove_77

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In all seriousness, I disagree. You're being too vague and generalizing too wide so I'm almost not even sure what your problems have to do with trust. It sounds like you're surrounded by dudes who are dicks.
 
Amory

Amory

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Oct 27, 2017
1,161
Details are too vague to even form a response.

What kind of harassment are we talking about
 
julia crawford

julia crawford

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Oct 27, 2017
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I'm going to be completely honest, i have such little expectations of men that it's not even a question of trust anymore.
 

AlsoZ

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Oct 29, 2017
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You were unlucky enough to end up in the vicinity of posturing assholes that think putting others down increases their own standing. Wouldn't be surprised if some of the women instigate shit behind your back too.
I haven't had to deal with such people for almost a decade now so either you're very unlucky or I'm very lucky. Sorry OP.
 
THE GUY

THE GUY

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Oct 27, 2017
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Most people ain't "good" in the strictest sense. Most people are selfish. And half of all people in this world are likely to be bad if anything. The remaining half likely range anywhere from somewhat okay to good. Just these days that being bad doesn't mean they're likely to kill you. Instead it's more about prejudices and social character.
 
Landy828

Landy828

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Oct 26, 2017
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I find the men in my life (especially my best friends), are far, far, better at keeping a secret or being there to back me up....than any women I've ever been around.

Granted, my experience with women includes my ex....who turned out to apparently be competing for the "most untrustworthy person on earth" award.

Are people just picking on you? What kind of "harassment"? If people are joking/picking at you, you need to dish it out too. Although, if you're like my youngest brother...that guy is awful at witty comebacks...or any kind of back and forth banter (love him though). He prefers just being alone more often than not due to this I think.


I don't "open up" to any co-worker....ever. Why would you? I only do that to my SO and closest male friends.
 
sleepInsom

sleepInsom

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Bobo Dakes said:
T

Think outside your bubble and into the larger world around you and what you see and hear about every week.
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For someone doubling down on there being a ton of specifics that make men uniquely more untrustworthy, you sure haven't spent an ounce of energy so far articulating those specifics. Care to elaborate?
 
kittens

kittens

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Oct 27, 2017
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almost all the violence I've ever experienced since birth have been enacted by men

so yeah lol
 
DeliciousSunnyD!

DeliciousSunnyD!

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Oct 31, 2017
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OP, I don't think it's limited to just men, but I know what you are saying. Personally, I think that more and more people are narcissistic sociopaths in the United States. I'm trying to separate myself from a lady that I was in a toxic relationship with, and experiencing her lies/gaming/manipulation/selfishness in conjunction with Donald Trump being the President, and being more critically aware of these traits in people, I've started to really notice that it seems like a lot of people I personally know exhibit these traits. Just seeing people lie, and lie obviously, straight to my face seems more and more common and it sucks.

I've casually read some about the ideas of there being a 'narcissism epidemic' and I could believe that. It just seems like there's not much empathy, compassion, and compromise to be had with a lot of people today and I've noticed it a lot within the people that I know personally, and that's terrible. And I include myself in this too, that I too also feel kind of narcissistic and self-centered, albeit not to the extremes that I've personally experienced in this hellish relationship I'm trying to disengage from.
 
DonShula

DonShula

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We are veering away from the real fun, which is trying to determine what OP is talking about.
 
hansel

hansel

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Oct 27, 2017
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Its been a while since I trusted a man. Haven't regretted it for a single day since.

#thefutureisfemale
 
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