Nowadays, I'm easily frustrated by a game. It's something new for me.
When I was a child, I never felt anger when I wasn't able to finish a game, a mission, or to beat a boss. I just forgot it and played something else. Or I cheated. I've never been able to finish Sonic 2 without a cheat code. I've never finished Tiny Toons Adventures: Buster's Hidden Treasure on Megadrive. And it was the same for Castlevania: Bloodlines. However, those were games I owned. I played them, and a lot I must add. And when I finally reached that place, that moment when I knew I wouldn't be able to go further, I just stopped. It was simple and easy.
Recently, I was able to finish Fight'N Rage on easy. And for that, I was awarded an achievement on Steam: a nipple accompanied by those words "Child's play". I could laugh about it. It's a joke after all. But I felt scorn. I felt belittled. I felt hurt. I could laugh, sure but why don't I feel happy about it?
I don't know when it started. I don't know what or who started it. But today, finishing a game is like winning a war. You become some kind of veteran. You become a gamer. An hardcore one too. You're proud. After all, you played a game.
Well, I say I don't know what started it, but I think it all came with internet. Before, I was alone, in a room, with my console. The people who I could talk about video game were rare, I could count them on one hand. And sometimes, they didn't even have the same console as me. Playing video game before was almost a secret. There was no pressure and no expectations. And that's the crux of it, the pressure.
Maybe some players thought that video games should become something serious, that it should be a mark of maturity and strength, but today playing video games come with a whole lot of expectations. You don't truly play alone anymore. If you buy a game, everybody can see what you've done with it. You've finished it on the hardest difficulty? Congratulations. Here, a badge to prove what you've accomplished. You're now a proud member of the hardcore gaming family. Yes, today playing is serious.
And I think that's why I become angry when I lose today. Because I feel the gaze of the world on my shoulder everytime I fail. How can I be part of the Family if I can't win? I don't like hard games. I'm just a lazy guy, so I try to dodge any kind of efforts. Because, you know, it's just a pain in the ass. But I still played Rogue Legacy, Cuphead or Dark Souls for example. Why? To feel legitimate. It's Dark Souls after all. It's one of the game of the (last) generation, how can I claim to be a fan of video games if I don't know what it is. So I played it and I finished it. And I did the same for Cuphead and Rogue Legacy (well not really for Rogue Legacy, I still don't have beaten the last boss). Hell, I even bought Hollow Knight. I mean, it's a metroidvania and it's a genre I love. I "had" to do it, right? That's what playing video games is about today. You don't only play them, you also display them. They are some kind of proof of your courage, something to show your valor. And somehow, losing in a game equate losing in life. And everyone can know about it.
Is it ludicrous? Maybe. I can't really say for sure that what I just wrote is the truth. I might be far off the mark. However, that's what I think is happening right now, in my mind, and maybe in the mind of a lot of people too. That's the thorn hidden inside the most deepest part of our being, that keep scratching and itching. I tried to understand what changed me, what made me feel so frustrated about my failures, and that's what I came to. Playing video games nowadays is a social interaction. I was never good in society.
When I was a child, I never felt anger when I wasn't able to finish a game, a mission, or to beat a boss. I just forgot it and played something else. Or I cheated. I've never been able to finish Sonic 2 without a cheat code. I've never finished Tiny Toons Adventures: Buster's Hidden Treasure on Megadrive. And it was the same for Castlevania: Bloodlines. However, those were games I owned. I played them, and a lot I must add. And when I finally reached that place, that moment when I knew I wouldn't be able to go further, I just stopped. It was simple and easy.
Recently, I was able to finish Fight'N Rage on easy. And for that, I was awarded an achievement on Steam: a nipple accompanied by those words "Child's play". I could laugh about it. It's a joke after all. But I felt scorn. I felt belittled. I felt hurt. I could laugh, sure but why don't I feel happy about it?
I don't know when it started. I don't know what or who started it. But today, finishing a game is like winning a war. You become some kind of veteran. You become a gamer. An hardcore one too. You're proud. After all, you played a game.
Well, I say I don't know what started it, but I think it all came with internet. Before, I was alone, in a room, with my console. The people who I could talk about video game were rare, I could count them on one hand. And sometimes, they didn't even have the same console as me. Playing video game before was almost a secret. There was no pressure and no expectations. And that's the crux of it, the pressure.
Maybe some players thought that video games should become something serious, that it should be a mark of maturity and strength, but today playing video games come with a whole lot of expectations. You don't truly play alone anymore. If you buy a game, everybody can see what you've done with it. You've finished it on the hardest difficulty? Congratulations. Here, a badge to prove what you've accomplished. You're now a proud member of the hardcore gaming family. Yes, today playing is serious.
And I think that's why I become angry when I lose today. Because I feel the gaze of the world on my shoulder everytime I fail. How can I be part of the Family if I can't win? I don't like hard games. I'm just a lazy guy, so I try to dodge any kind of efforts. Because, you know, it's just a pain in the ass. But I still played Rogue Legacy, Cuphead or Dark Souls for example. Why? To feel legitimate. It's Dark Souls after all. It's one of the game of the (last) generation, how can I claim to be a fan of video games if I don't know what it is. So I played it and I finished it. And I did the same for Cuphead and Rogue Legacy (well not really for Rogue Legacy, I still don't have beaten the last boss). Hell, I even bought Hollow Knight. I mean, it's a metroidvania and it's a genre I love. I "had" to do it, right? That's what playing video games is about today. You don't only play them, you also display them. They are some kind of proof of your courage, something to show your valor. And somehow, losing in a game equate losing in life. And everyone can know about it.
Is it ludicrous? Maybe. I can't really say for sure that what I just wrote is the truth. I might be far off the mark. However, that's what I think is happening right now, in my mind, and maybe in the mind of a lot of people too. That's the thorn hidden inside the most deepest part of our being, that keep scratching and itching. I tried to understand what changed me, what made me feel so frustrated about my failures, and that's what I came to. Playing video games nowadays is a social interaction. I was never good in society.
