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Anyone else hate when people hold a door open for them?
- Thread starter Shining Star
- Start date
Me thinks thou do protest too much.
When there's 11 pages of pretty much disagreement with the OP and you find that toxic. Then...
Despite realizing that I am here as well, I see threads like this and some of these responses and my first thought is something like this:
Yeah, no wonder you're sitting on a fucking video game forum if something as innocent as another person holding the door for you causes some sort of reaction in your brain.
This is everything wrong with the internet and internet culture. It's given people a voice when sometimes they shouldn't have one. Then you get all these other weirdos who apparently have issues with the same thing and they start getting rowdy together.
If a person holds a door for you, they are doing a decent thing by trying to make your life easier in the smallest way. Be a fucking decent human being in return, say thank you, and move on with your life.
Yeah, no wonder you're sitting on a fucking video game forum if something as innocent as another person holding the door for you causes some sort of reaction in your brain.
This is everything wrong with the internet and internet culture. It's given people a voice when sometimes they shouldn't have one. Then you get all these other weirdos who apparently have issues with the same thing and they start getting rowdy together.
If a person holds a door for you, they are doing a decent thing by trying to make your life easier in the smallest way. Be a fucking decent human being in return, say thank you, and move on with your life.
No. Holding the door or saying "Thank You" when someone holds the door for you is common courtesy. Do not be a grouch.
Yeah and also anyone hate it when people rush to your aid when you get hit by a car and your unconscious body goes flying 30 feet? Like wow so now I have to thank you for c
Possibly the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. Whoever put on this training should go out of business. Lmao.
Possibly the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. Whoever put on this training should go out of business. Lmao.
Are there that many people who don't know how to be human? Apparently so.
Ah yes. The doormen of the world are controlling everything as far as the eye can see.
Depends on the distance I am from them. What I really hate is the people who are in front of you, swing the door open, and let you go ahead of them.
What the hell is wrong with you? It's basic human decency.
I remember I was in the US back in 2009 and this nice old lady held the door for me, back then my English was already good, but it was still lacking a bit. I said "Thanks for holding the door" and looked up whether what I said was right or not afterwards. I'm glad it was.
If it bothers you so much just nod or smile, it's not hard.
I remember I was in the US back in 2009 and this nice old lady held the door for me, back then my English was already good, but it was still lacking a bit. I said "Thanks for holding the door" and looked up whether what I said was right or not afterwards. I'm glad it was.
If it bothers you so much just nod or smile, it's not hard.
Apparently functioning in society is hard. Wow...
It would too much ask for me to request for you to go and read the whole conversation across the thread, so i will leave like that.
Okay Let's clear something up, and coming from a woman so I can give a perspective of wht the OP might be experencing here.
Firstly in regard to the whole situation about opening the door. Yes, by normal standards it's common curtisy to open a door for someone who is right behind you. I've done it for people before, and in some cases they don't say thanks, and I'm like "Whatever" in my head becuase no big deal.
However, there's two things that can be happening with this for some women. The first is that there are some women who feel that opening up the door for them equates to feeling less independent, or that you're treating them as a person who can't open the door on their own two feet. The second, and more common, situation is that there are some men (and women too) who feel that by opening up a door for a person you can make yourself seem more attractive, thus open up for small talk, thus open up for a possible date.
The latter is where I think the OP may be comming from, depending on her looks and apperence. I've actually seen this in action where one guy used to open the door for a number of girls at my college and then proceed to try to walk them to their class and talk them up. To basically curb this, I've been opening up the door for them before he can get to it, and forcing him to walk in before they do.
Now for the most part, most people don't do this. It's most a "Hey you're behind me, let me hold this for you since this large and heavy metal and glass object will be shutting on you and could injure you if you walk in at the wrong moment" thought process I'm sure.
So there is something behind OPs relectuance to have a door open for them, and yes the person saying "You're welcome" sarcastically was a dick. Hard to tell if they were trying to make time or not, but more than likely (especially if this was an older person that is around their 50s or 60s) their reaction came more from the idea of a young person being rude rather than a rejection place.
I think one of the reasons for this is because a great deal of Japanese buildings and home were built with sliding doors, so when you pushed it open, it stayed open till you closed it by sliding it back, thus no reason to hold a door when the door just stayed open for the next person to walk in. And if they didn't have doors (some had wood panels that they used at night to shut up and lock up shop) there were screens to keep out bugs and the like so you didn't have to hold that open either since it was very light.
So yeah, normally you don't see that behavior in Japan, although during the winter you may see more of it with people holding doors for others to rush in from the cold. Again though no one expects it, it's more of a "Yeah get in where its warm peeps!" thing.
Okay so, this is an odd one. See Crosswalk guards, as far as I understand, are required by law to wait for someone and lead them across so that they don't get hit by a car. And if you mean like just crossing at the crosswalk where there's no stop sign, again I get it, but at the same time, if you are moving on your own accord and totally miss the car that is coming that isn't stopping, it's the driver that's going to be blamed for you getting hit. So yeah, I can see why drivers may want someone crossing the street to at least nod or indicate that they were going to cross. I mean...that's the point of a cross walk.
Rule of thumb, don't wait at the end of the sidewalk, stand away from the curb and away from the street and drivers will more likely keep going over you waving them on to let them know they can go and you'll wait.
By the by the supposed polite distance to hold a door open for someone is about 14 feet at most.
Also I've heard the power thing regarding leaders and such with doors, but I'd like to counter that with the idea of the leaders in some cases showing humility to the workers as a gester of equality.
Firstly in regard to the whole situation about opening the door. Yes, by normal standards it's common curtisy to open a door for someone who is right behind you. I've done it for people before, and in some cases they don't say thanks, and I'm like "Whatever" in my head becuase no big deal.
However, there's two things that can be happening with this for some women. The first is that there are some women who feel that opening up the door for them equates to feeling less independent, or that you're treating them as a person who can't open the door on their own two feet. The second, and more common, situation is that there are some men (and women too) who feel that by opening up a door for a person you can make yourself seem more attractive, thus open up for small talk, thus open up for a possible date.
The latter is where I think the OP may be comming from, depending on her looks and apperence. I've actually seen this in action where one guy used to open the door for a number of girls at my college and then proceed to try to walk them to their class and talk them up. To basically curb this, I've been opening up the door for them before he can get to it, and forcing him to walk in before they do.
Now for the most part, most people don't do this. It's most a "Hey you're behind me, let me hold this for you since this large and heavy metal and glass object will be shutting on you and could injure you if you walk in at the wrong moment" thought process I'm sure.
So there is something behind OPs relectuance to have a door open for them, and yes the person saying "You're welcome" sarcastically was a dick. Hard to tell if they were trying to make time or not, but more than likely (especially if this was an older person that is around their 50s or 60s) their reaction came more from the idea of a young person being rude rather than a rejection place.
I think one of the reasons for this is because a great deal of Japanese buildings and home were built with sliding doors, so when you pushed it open, it stayed open till you closed it by sliding it back, thus no reason to hold a door when the door just stayed open for the next person to walk in. And if they didn't have doors (some had wood panels that they used at night to shut up and lock up shop) there were screens to keep out bugs and the like so you didn't have to hold that open either since it was very light.
So yeah, normally you don't see that behavior in Japan, although during the winter you may see more of it with people holding doors for others to rush in from the cold. Again though no one expects it, it's more of a "Yeah get in where its warm peeps!" thing.
Okay so, this is an odd one. See Crosswalk guards, as far as I understand, are required by law to wait for someone and lead them across so that they don't get hit by a car. And if you mean like just crossing at the crosswalk where there's no stop sign, again I get it, but at the same time, if you are moving on your own accord and totally miss the car that is coming that isn't stopping, it's the driver that's going to be blamed for you getting hit. So yeah, I can see why drivers may want someone crossing the street to at least nod or indicate that they were going to cross. I mean...that's the point of a cross walk.
Rule of thumb, don't wait at the end of the sidewalk, stand away from the curb and away from the street and drivers will more likely keep going over you waving them on to let them know they can go and you'll wait.
By the by the supposed polite distance to hold a door open for someone is about 14 feet at most.
Also I've heard the power thing regarding leaders and such with doors, but I'd like to counter that with the idea of the leaders in some cases showing humility to the workers as a gester of equality.
There are many times when people DON'T leave the door open for me when I'm entering a building. So when someone does, I say a cheerful "THANK YOU" because that is a good person who enjoys helping others.
I ALWAYS hold the door open for people if they're a few walking steps behind me. I think that is completely courteous and not weird.
What IS weird and annoying is when someone holds the door open me when I'm like 10-15 walking steps away from the door, not directly behind them. That can be awkward, and a little too nice. I don't mind it, but it's happened to me a few times, and I felt like I had to "speed walk" to make things less awkward lol.
I don't "HATE" it though.
I ALWAYS hold the door open for people if they're a few walking steps behind me. I think that is completely courteous and not weird.
What IS weird and annoying is when someone holds the door open me when I'm like 10-15 walking steps away from the door, not directly behind them. That can be awkward, and a little too nice. I don't mind it, but it's happened to me a few times, and I felt like I had to "speed walk" to make things less awkward lol.
I don't "HATE" it though.
But I feel that this thread was not made in good faith, and subsequent posts by the op have shown no effort in trying to provide more context, but just responding to posts that made themselves feel better, rather than expanding on the topic, and explaining more clearly exactly why they were offended by it.
As I've mentioned in a previous post, there are certainly specific contexts for this, and if we want to speak about those contexts, then fine.
However, the op set the context as in a broader sense, and implied it as all situations, and not just a singular specific experience.
We can sit here and provide more layers to what can and can't be discussed, but at the end of the day, if the op doesn't want to engage to clarify, what's the point of trying to defend them when they have no intention of defending their stance in the first place, or do they appear to want to?
There's been plenty of opportunities to engage in a larger, more meaningful conversation, but the op has not shown any interest in doing so to this point.
No. You don't have to look at them. Just say ta or thanks or whatever your local colloquialism is and go about your day. A nod of the head 'cheers' as I catch the door as they turn and walk away and I look back to see if anyone is coming after me. It's the cunts who don't say thanks when you hold the door for them who are the worst.
Don't ever come to Canada, well at least here in Saskatchewan everyone holds the door for everyone.
It's basic decency and a good thing.
Don't be weird OP.
It's basic decency and a good thing.
Don't be weird OP.
Then stay home. You want others to view the world thru your self-centered & myopic, asocial peep hole.
Calling some of you people cold and mechanistic would be an insult to machines. At least they lack any capacity to ruin basic human interaction and in part making these stupid threads on hOw tO bE hUmAn...
Calling some of you people cold and mechanistic would be an insult to machines. At least they lack any capacity to ruin basic human interaction and in part making these stupid threads on hOw tO bE hUmAn...
Why can't you fuckers be normal?
"Thanks."
OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO MUCH EFFORT!
Quit being anti-social jerks. Have some manners. Basic politeness isn't going to kill you.
"Thanks."
OH MY GOD THAT WAS SO MUCH EFFORT!
Quit being anti-social jerks. Have some manners. Basic politeness isn't going to kill you.
hahahaha, I just said goodbye to a coworker and my exact statement was "have a great weekend, bud!"
Naw dude. I think you're in a small minority here. It's minimal effort to just say thanks and move on with your day.
On the flip side, if I'm 5 steps behind someone and they know I'm there, then don't hold the door for me I find it pretty rude. I realize that may make me sound entitled or something, but I think it's just a common courtesy thing.
On the flip side, if I'm 5 steps behind someone and they know I'm there, then don't hold the door for me I find it pretty rude. I realize that may make me sound entitled or something, but I think it's just a common courtesy thing.
I'm genuinely baffled people can be this way. How can common courtesy be something you hate? Goddamn.
We need more real life human interfacing, not running from it imo. Too much digital interaction is going to turn us into a lonely, angry human race otherwise.
wait which thread am I in? Aren't you responding to the OP of the guy who was cutting in on a tinder date in Japan cause he felt Americans need to call out American tourists?
Oh I agree, I was confused as hell as to if OP was talking about how the guy was rude to them, or if this was a case of them being bothered by people a lot, or if this was a case of feeling like people shouldn't open the door for them because they just don't like people doing so in general.
And yes, I wish that OP would at least further give contect for this. Such as if this is an occurence where someone was behaving badly more than once, etc. Because if it's just, "Don't want people opening doors for me," well then that's an issue in regard to where OP may be living becuase it's been a thing for a long time due to manner rules and also fashion.
If I'm remembering right regarding opening of doors for various people: For the court it was because of the status of the royal, for those lower than that it came from the fact that some people dressed in such a way that opening doors on their own without it causing issue was not going to happen. I can point to the french and English fashion for a time making it hard for both women and men to be mobile in the past, so navigating doors was a pain in the neck and having someone open it for you was a nesseciity. Same thing with the whole, putting down your coat over a puddle, mostly it was to keep the expensive shoes that people had from getting dirty with mud and horse manure.
Agreed that OP should at least give some feedback on what was happening in the situation a bit more. It's just an odd thread in that sense as you put it.
I mean the only time I ever got yelled at for opening a door was from an older man who told me women shouldn't be doing that, and I asked him, "Sir, you're walking with a cane, it's clear that it would take you more time to open the door for youself and it's freezing out here . I'm doing you the favor here." (Was winter and the temp was just above below zero at the time) It shut him up right quick.
Was this leadership training using a textbook from the 1950s and referencing women?
Sounds like crazy talk but then again that mentality is what got a psycho Cheeto elected President of the US
We live in a society.
This is truly one of the more pathetic whinges I've seen here.
No I'm responding to the poster that pointed out in Japan that it's normal to not hold doors open. In Japan it's not common to do so because for a long time the sort of doors we have here in the west weren't common there (and I don't think it was in most of East Asia either, trying to remember) and the normal doors there were sliding doors. So you pushed the door open to the side (a la a subway car door) and walked in. It didn't close behind you, so no reason to hold it open for the next person becuse you have to make an effort to shut the door by litterally turning around to shut it. So the person that was following you, as long as there was no one behind, just walked in after. Thus the one that enters last shuts the door.
Politeness is one of the last pure, good things we have in society. It's a nice little acknowledgement that we're all people, using the same doors to enter the same places and go about our daily lives.
I'm not a huge fan of when someone holds the door and I'm a mile away, but when I'm close? Sure, I'll take the gesture.
I'm not a huge fan of when someone holds the door and I'm a mile away, but when I'm close? Sure, I'll take the gesture.
I'm sooo confused cause the quote leads to that other thread. I'm having dejavu or something haha
