Apparently people think I’m a serial rapist

[Broken Joystick]

If Monday comes and nothing happens, then what?

OP is in high school. There's a 99% chance that most at his high school already know about it, and probably will by the time Monday rolls around. And there's also a 99% chance of it already being on social media somewhere. The attention is already there. OP is receiving threats from some random guy, it won't be too long until the whole school is on his head. Getting a lawyer involved won't keep it quiet, if anything it will make it worse. Do you remember high school? Word travels faster than The Flash, and people love spreading gossip. Without getting on it, it can get bad and irreversible. At least putting something up on social media allows OP the chance to a) defend himself and b) a chance to have others come to his defense. Getting a lawyer involved also costs money and can make it even worse for him and her.

Social media can be a good tool. People use it all the time to bring other's dirt up from the past. Why not use it to show what a good person you are?

Click to shrink...

Grandstanding isn't going to help his case, the only way people are going to stop believing this rumour is for the accuser to take it back, apologise and admit she lied. There's no point in taking it to social media before Monday in case it's already cleared up by then, which, in that case, good, move on, no need to talk about it anymore. If Monday comes and goes and nothing has happened, we've already discussed further options for the OP to take.

Yes, the attention is already there, and we're trying to minimize the attention it's getting, not exacerbate it. OP has already explained that he himself understands why people will always believe the accuser first, there's going to be people who don't know about it, sees OP saying "I'm a good guy, I'm not a rapist, don't believe her" and immediately take the accuser's side. Which might lead to even more death threats.

OP is already doing the right thing and remaining (seemingly) calm about it all. Don't take it to press or social media when it could all be resolves in a matter of days.

 

[est1992]

Grandstanding isn't going to help his case, the only way people are going to stop believing this rumour is for the accuser to take it back, apologise and admit she lied. There's no point in taking it to social media before Monday in case it's already cleared up by then, which, in that case, good, move on, no need to talk about it anymore. If Monday comes and goes and nothing has happened, we've already discussed further options for the OP to take.

Yes, the attention is already there, and we're trying to minimize the attention it's getting, not exacerbate it. OP has already explained that he himself understands why people will always believe the accuser first, there's going to be people who don't know about it, sees OP saying "I'm a good guy, I'm not a rapist, don't believe her" and immediately take the accuser's side. Which might lead to even more death threats.

OP is already doing the right thing and remaining (seemingly) calm about it all. Don't take it to press or social media when it could all be resolves in a matter of days.

Click to shrink...

I understand. I was thinking more along the lines of if it comes Monday, and nothing really happens. All of it could stop, but then there's the problem of, well, high schoolers.

They're fucking evil, man. They will push and prod and poke someone until they reach the limit. Not saying OP is the type of person to do something rash, just that it could really affect his life if he doesn't get on it quick. I've seen firsthand how these rumors can change someone. There was a guy at my high school who was accused of forcing some girl to makeout with him at a party. She ended up coming out and saying she was lying just so her boyfriend wouldn't break up with her, but the kids still didn't stop making fun of him or looking at him a different way. The thing about him was though, he didn't stick up for himself. I was just hoping OP could do something so that that situation doesn't happen to him.

 

[Woolley]

You should take all the evidence you have and give it to this resource officer.

If nothing happens, take it to your local media. They'd love a scoop like this.

Click to shrink...

I don't think high school gossip is a scoop the media is interested in.

 

[SABO.]

I don't think high school gossip is a scoop the media is interested in.

Click to shrink...

Local. The local current affair shows is all about this type of stuff.

It also kind of goes past gossip when you start labelling someone a rapist and the accused starts receiving threats.

 

[ASleepingMonkey]

Seems like a good time to repost this.

Click to shrink...

We watched this in my government class the other week, ironically. It's been lingering in my head the whole time.

You're strangely calm about this, lol.

Click to shrink...

Getting too angry and emotional causes bad, regrettable things to be said that makes it all worse. Like I said, there's nothing legally that can be done to me because I truly haven't done anything and am confident in that.

The issues lies within damage to reputation and other relationships that she has impacted.

 

[Amory]

Jesus. High school sucked when I was there like, 15 years ago but no one was pulling shit like this. Pretty awful.

 

[Bakercat]

High school is the worst

 

[ISOM]

We watched this in my government class the other week, ironically. It's been lingering in my head the whole time.

Getting too angry and emotional causes bad, regrettable things to be said that makes it all worse. Like I said, there's nothing legally that can be done to me because I truly haven't done anything and am confident in that.

The issues lies within damage to reputation and other relationships that she has impacted.

Click to shrink...

You're a pretty level headed highschooler. Things will work out for you because of that imo. Just take some of the steps in this thread and you'll be ok.

 

[Instro]

Follow the advice to get a lawyer, if it can be afforded. If not, or want to take a step before that, you may need your parents to tell the school that they will get a lawyer involved. That night at least light a fire under their asses to do something.

 

[Ocean Bones]

Sounds like you're dealing with a classic narcissist. You hurt her feelings so she'll never stop trying to hurt you.

 

[Maximus]

Do everything you can to stop this rumour or this person from trying to ruin your life. Seems to already become a big issue. That's pretty scary.

 

[Idde]

I think sending the letter to her (and her parents) through a lawyer is a good idea. I'd tell her to apologize and clear your name and have her say she's lying as well. You don't need the damage to your reputation.

 

[THE GUY]

This is messed up; I don't even know what to say short of getting a lawyer. Dealing with this in fucking high school. Like, what even is this?

 

[Deleted member 8861]

God damn.

Good luck OP, I've got no idea what to say

 

[atomsk eater]

Jesus. The only advice I can offer is to save any threatening contact you get instead of deleting it (text messages, pm/dms, etc). May help build a stronger case for the damage she's done if it comes to that. Other than that, stay strong and contact a lawyer (if you're able) if things get more serious.

I certainly don't miss the petty she-said he-said drama and bullshit of high school.

 

[tsampikos]

Put a restraining order on her to stop harassing you?

 

[DonMigs85]

Just graduate and forget about these imbeciles, maybe move to a new city if it gets really bad one day

 

[Remember]

Jesus. High school sucked when I was there like, 15 years ago but no one was pulling shit like this. Pretty awful.

Click to shrink...

I have a nephew in high school and he tells me the shittiest of stories when it comes to this type of stuff. Hearsay and social media are the new bullying tactics. Why hurt someone through physical means when you could possibly destroy their entire future and reputation. Shit is straight up full on evil compared to back when I grew up and the worst you'd get is an ass whooping.

 

[ASleepingMonkey]

Going into the office within the hour, will report back when they've spoken to her and me.

I found some old texts from her over the weekend where she called me her "favorite person ever" and sending me lots of heart emojis, some people also gave me some information about some other lies she's said (nothing to this degree but makes her look less trustworthy). I'm pretty eager to see how she defends herself.

 

[random_polymath]

I was interviewed as a suspect in the Delphi murders.

Someone called in a "tip" and claimed that I had a British accent (I do not).

 

[CannonFodder52]

Going into the office within the hour, will report back when they've spoken to her and me.

Click to shrink...

Good luck

 

[CoolestSpot]

This actually happened to me but with a girl who I upset cause I told her the Croods suck.

Art school is a ride.

 

[PunishedOkabe]

I was interviewed as a suspect in the Delphi murders.

Someone called in a "tip" and claimed that I had a British accent (I do not).

Click to shrink...

Whoa wtf? That's crazy

 

[StarStorm]

Hope everything goes well for you OP. That girl sounds like trouble. If the school does nothing, get a lawyer.

 

[CoolestSpot]

Rooting for you

 

[ChuckStank]

I was interviewed as a suspect in the Delphi murders.

Someone called in a "tip" and claimed that I had a British accent (I do not).

Click to shrink...

Damn, I live like 45 minutes away from there. Sad to see not much progress.

 

[uzipukki]

When I was in high school all you had to worry about was if a teacher caught you smoking. Damn.

 

[Spikematic]

Jesus, lies and silly rumors have always been a part of high school, but this is some next level malicious shit that could easily destroy someone's life. I'm so glad I managed to avoid crazy people like this. Best of luck OP, you're handling this with way more poise and maturity than I would've been able to show back in my high school days.

 

[Dragoon]

Go see a lawyer. Pay him to write a Formal Notice that explicitely tells the girl to stop doing what she is doing lest you take the matter to the courts. Send the letter to the girl's home through Registered Mail. Address the letter to the girl, and to her parents too if she is minor.

She will stop.

Click to shrink...

This is a good idea. Good luck OP. High school is scarier than it was in my day :o

 

[ASleepingMonkey]

Resource officer pulled me into his office, gave him an update, we're going to sit down and chat with her when the counselor becomes available.

He seemed to be on my side, told him about the kid who threatened me (the kid eventually backed down when I explained it), officer said he'd have the kid expelled if I was concerned. So they're taking it seriously.

 

[The Climaxan]

Honestly OP, I think you're handling this situation the best way possible so far. If she continues to escalate after this SRO meeting then I would assume they will handle it from there since you've plugged them into the harassment you're receiving at the right time. Good luck.

 

[Deleted member 8561]

Go see a lawyer. Pay him to write a Formal Notice that explicitely tells the girl to stop doing what she is doing lest you take the matter to the courts. Send the letter to the girl's home through Registered Mail. Address the letter to the girl, and to her parents too if she is minor.

She will stop.

Click to shrink...

Yea, this sounds good

Resource officer pulled me into his office, gave him an update, we're going to sit down and chat with her when the counselor becomes available.

He seemed to be on my side, told him about the kid who threatened me (the kid eventually backed down when I explained it), officer said he'd have the kid expelled if I was concerned. So they're taking it seriously.

Click to shrink...

I would have strong reservations talking to her at all given the nature of what she is accusing you of. Just because he seems too be on your side doesn't mean he will be.

I think it's in your best interest to cover your bases and talk to a lawyer regardless of the outcome today.

Record everything.

Click to shrink...

He needs to check state laws on the legality of recording without a persons/parties consent first.

Either that, or only talk to her if she agrees to be recorded (still wouldn't talk to her at all but that's just my take)

ASleepingMonkey snip about going to social media

Click to shrink...

For the love of fucking god do not do anything to make this a social media event or public at all

 

[Pilgrimzero]

wrong thread sorry

 

[ASleepingMonkey]

Yea, this sounds good




I would have strong reservations talking to her at all given the nature of what she is accusing you of. Just because he seems too be on your side doesn't mean he will be.

I think it's in your best interest to cover your bases and talk to a lawyer regardless of the outcome today.




He needs to check state laws on the legality of recording without a persons/parties consent first.

Either that, or only talk to her if she agrees to be recorded (still wouldn't talk to her at all but that's just my take)




For the love of fucking god do not do anything to make this a social media event or public at all

Click to shrink...

Well, they're going to talk to her so it's better if I'm going to be there so I can directly counter any lies and ask some questions I have myself. The cop won't be there, he just said he'll have us talk to my counselor so I don't have to worry about him potentially changing up on me.

 

[Deleted member 8561]

Well, they're going to talk to her so it's better if I'm going to be there so I can directly counter any lies and ask some questions I have myself. The cop won't be there, he just said he'll have us talk to my counselor so I don't have to worry about him potentially changing up on me.

Click to shrink...

Talk to the councilor and get this session recorded.

Also if this meeting somehow goes forward and you have a third party witnesses who can attest to her admitting she fabricated this story out of spite (and a potential recording of it), you have a slam dunk case for slander and probably a settlement that could pay for a few semesters of college.

If you're into that sort of thing.

Do everything you can to protect yourself. Honestly I wouldn't put any faith in the school to handle this. The only thing schools have an interest in is protecting them selves from liability, you are always going to be second issue.

 

[Deleted member 4614]

School - not your friend.
Peers - not your friends.

Lawyer - also not your friend, but sensible to have one before speaking to anyone about anything.

 

[Deleted member 8561]

School - not your friend.
Peers - not your friends.

Lawyer - also not your friend, but sensible to have one before speaking to anyone about anything.

Click to shrink...

More specifically

School : Third party who is looking out for themselves at all times
Police: Absolutely not trustworthy in protecting or looking out for your interests.
Peers : Untrustworthy and not interested in your best interest
Lawyer : Literally paid to protect your interests and defend you no matter what

I don't think it's a bad idea to delay this meeting and get a free consultation with a lawyer about if it's in your best interest to do this meeting. Get a professional opinion from someone who can reasonably extrapolate the possible consequences of such a meeting given the circumstances.

 

[Cokie Bear]

I don't think it's wroth getting a lawyer involved, that seems like a very American suggestion.

 

[cwmartin]

Feel for your situation my dude. I couldn't imagine instagram and snap existing when I went to HS.

 

[Gloomz]

More specifically

School : Third party who is looking out for themselves at all times
Peers : Untrustworthy and not interested in your best interest
Lawyer : Literally paid to protect your interests and defend you no matter what

I don't think it's a bad idea to delay this meeting and get a free consultation with a lawyer about if it's in your best interest to do this meeting. Get a professional opinion from someone who can reasonably extrapolate the possible consequences of such a meeting given the circumstances.

Click to shrink...

This, this and this.

 

[Deleted member 8561]

I don't think it's wroth getting a lawyer involved, that seems like a very American suggestion.

Click to shrink...

Having someone walk around accusing you of rape can easily end up becoming a legal issue where lawyers get involved.

Especially now that the school is involved with accusations of a student raping another student and word has actually spread. Schools have lawyers and representation for a reason. Not to shit on OP, but when he says things like "I think the school resource officer is on my side", it's already a sign that he could very well be over his head and not prepared if things rapidly escalate.

Also remember the golden rule, lawyers talk to lawyers. If things escalate and legal representation is present for either party, tell them you won't talk to them without your own legal representation. It's well within your right and you are simply not qualified to handle what someone else representation throws at you.

Honestly the more I talk about it and think about it, I think it's crazy OP hasn't already consulted a lawyer and his parents haven't sought after any form of legal counsel. Now that the school is involved and we're talking about people getting expelled (I know this was about another student who threatened you, but the point still stands), we're already in legal territory. Not to mention that the police are in a de-facto state of involvement due to the fact the resource officer is part of law enforcement.

TL:DR

Seek a lawyer even after whatever outcome happens today. You can get like an hour of free consultation, there are no downside to getting real legal opinions on this.
Have her sign a statement that everything she says is truthful, or if she admits to lying have her sign a statement attesting to that. Don't take the police's/schools word that it's settled. Get everything fucking thing in writing.
Regardless of the outcome, it's probably best to go with the original advice and pay like a hundred bucks to have an official legal notice to stop the false accusations against you.

Resource officer pulled me into his office, gave him an update, we're going to sit down and chat with her when the counselor becomes available.

He seemed to be on my side, told him about the kid who threatened me (the kid eventually backed down when I explained it), officer said he'd have the kid expelled if I was concerned. So they're taking it seriously.

Click to shrink...

Like, this sounds good on paper, but the logical step should be "if the guy just threatened to expel a kid based on my hear-say, what could happen when she talks to the resource officer about me being a rapist and threatening violence against her?"

 

[ASleepingMonkey]

Having someone walk around accusing you of rape can easily end up becoming a legal issue where lawyers get involved.

Especially now that the school is involved with accusations of a student raping another student and word has actually spread. Schools have lawyers and representation for a reason. Not to shit on OP, but when he says things like "I think the school resource officer is on my side", it's already a sign that he could very well be over his head and not prepared if things rapidly escalate.

Also remember the golden rule, lawyers talk to lawyers. If things escalate and legal representation is present for either party, tell them you won't talk to them without your own legal representation. It's well within your right and you are simply not qualified to handle what someone else representation throws at you.

Honestly the more I talk about it and think about it, I think it's crazy OP hasn't already consulted a lawyer and his parents haven't sought after any form of legal counsel. Now that the school is involved and we're talking about people getting expelled (I know this was about another student who threatened you, but the point still stands), we're already in legal territory. Not to mention that the police are in a de-facto state of involvement due to the fact the resource officer is part of law enforcement.

TL:DR

Seek a lawyer even after whatever outcome happens today. You can get like an hour of free consultation, there are no downside to getting real legal opinions on this.
Have her sign a statement that everything she says is truthful, or if she admits to lying have her sign a statement attesting to that. Don't take the police's/schools word that it's settled. Get everything fucking thing in writing.
Regardless of the outcome, it's probably best to go with the original advice and pay like a hundred bucks to have an official legal notice to stop the false accusations against you.


Like, this sounds good on paper, but the logical step should be "if the guy just threatened to expel a kid based on my hear-say, what could happen when she talks to the resource officer about me being a rapist and threatening violence against her?"

Click to shrink...

He asked to show the messages he sent me so he saw it himself and the kid is supposedly on super thin ice already.

 

[Sedated]

That sucks... Seen similar situation in my school years with someone else. Puts mental pressure but it seems you are handling it well op! Goodluck.

 

[Deleted member 8561]

He asked to show the messages he sent me so he saw it himself and the kid is supposedly on super thin ice already.

Click to shrink...

Ok, that puts more context in what he said, but the rest of my post is where I'm at in terms of your options that I think are in your best interest.

 

[GodofWine]

So, here I am, stuck in this bizarre bind. I'm hoping the school tells her to knock it the fuck off and tells her to apologize to me but they said they can't make her do anything.

Click to shrink...

Sue the school. She is harassing you and directly causing a threat to your well being, and they are complicit.

If the sexes were reversed, they'd have your ass expelled and arrested.

 

[Deleted member 8561]

Sue the school. She is harassing you and directly causing a threat to your well being, and they are complicit.

If the sexes were reversed, they'd have your ass expelled and arrested.

Click to shrink...

Sue the school for what? That makes no sense and is a beyond drastic escalation for what is currently happening.

The school said "they can't make her stop saying what she is saying" because they, as I said in the past, are only looking out for themselves and their own liability.

Could you imagine the legal shit storm if a school got involved and told a victim of rape to "stop saying you were raped", and then it turns out she was actually raped and abused? Yea, that's a few million dollars down the drain if you're lucky.

 

[Yoshimitsu126]

Good luck and stay safe OP. Seems like you know what you're doing.

More specifically

School : Third party who is looking out for themselves at all times
Police: Absolutely not trustworthy in protecting or looking out for your interests.
Peers : Untrustworthy and not interested in your best interest
Lawyer : Literally paid to protect your interests and defend you no matter what

I don't think it's a bad idea to delay this meeting and get a free consultation with a lawyer about if it's in your best interest to do this meeting. Get a professional opinion from someone who can reasonably extrapolate the possible consequences of such a meeting given the circumstances.

Click to shrink...

You should definitely call the police in a traffic accident though when the other driver is at fault. People rarely lie when an authority figure is there.

 

[Razgriz417]

He asked to show the messages he sent me so he saw it himself and the kid is supposedly on super thin ice already.

Click to shrink...

doesn't matter, protect yourself and get a lawyer

 

[Deleted member 8561]

Good luck and stay safe OP. Seems like you know what you're doing.



You should definitely call the police in a traffic accident though when the other driver is at fault. People rarely lie when an authority figure is there.

Click to shrink...

I'm not saying "don't talk to the police", I'm saying "don't talk to the police and her without talking to a lawyer to see if that's a worthwhile avenue based on the situation". Although even in a minor car accident I wouldn't say much beyond generalities just for the sake of protecting yourself if the guy turns around and sues you for medical shit or something.

But this is coming from someone who

1) Grew up in a house and was constantly told to never talk to police without one of my parents being present
2) Has first hand accounts of schools "zero tolerance" policy which shows how little schools protect their students
3) Has parents who have had legal experience due to owning a business

So I'm extremely paranoid and skeptical of any party who isn't me and looking out for my interest, because we've seen what police can do, we know that schools don't care, and in a moments notice a guy can show up on your doorstep serving you papers for something that happened half a decade ago to someone you don't even remember. Just how the world works.

 

[a916]

It may not be legal for him to do so.

Click to shrink...

I've never understood the legality behind this...

But joke answer, hey the US government does it anyways