I initially posted this as a comment on the video but decided I probably should delete it as it isn't really Contra's job to worry about fringe cases such as myself, especially given from previous vids she seems to not quite grasp the idea of presentation not necessarily having to match gender identity... and I guess that's okay, she has enough to worry about, and I seem to be the only person troubled by it. But maybe someone can help me out here, or tell me if I should put it back up:
If I've learned anything from these ContraPoints vids, it's that your feelings of wanting to be more feminine (or androgynous)/not wanting to portray masculine traits yet not feeling like you're a woman either and not wanting to take hormones or go through any operations to remove your penis/get a vagina are perfectly valid and should be accepted as one form of gender identity/expression. How you get where you want to be is really a journey you just have to take yourself. What it entails only you can figure out (though maybe with the help of some kind of professionals, especially if you feel that strongly frustrated about how you currently are vs. how you want to be).
And I'd have to watch the video again keeping your point in mind, but I don't think she ever says that a feminine man with a feminine penis can't exist? She does talk about the feminine penis mostly in the context of trans women like herself, but I don't think she ever rejects any other alternatives outright. She even lays it on pretty thick about how there are no black & whites or even gray areas here, but it's a whole fucking rainbow.
And even though she often focuses on trans women, I don't think she ever says anything too rigid about presentation vs. gender identity. She just often argues from her perspective, how she herself has to deal with these things as a trans woman and focuses on that because that's what she's most equipped to talk about since she can speak from her own experience, but she doesn't outright reject other non-binary gender identities & expressions at all (and does often bring them up as well). Sometimes she has perhaps neglected to mention them (clearly enough) but oftentimes she has then brought that up in a later video or elsewhere that even though she didn't mention some other cases, she doesn't think that those do not exist or that those are any less valid to the cases/examples she is describing in her videos.