I get what you're saying, what I mean though is this: Imagine a man standing in a doorway, this man is a representation of the police. To the left of him, they are holding onto him by the tip of his pinky finger at best. To the right of him, every other part of the man is through the doorway and they are giving the guy a hug and a pat on the back. Now, could the guy be pulled back from the door to the left? Maybe, but it would take a huge amount of effort, it would also need the cooperation of the man to turn back.
It would take, at this point, a miracle for it to happen. We're talking about over 100 years of racist, bigoted culture. All of us would be dead by the time it happened. I'd rather shut the door, the man's finger will get stuck in it, and it's not going to be opened again until he agrees to turn the fuck around. Force only respects and recognizes force, we need to fix the underlying system so that the way they behave is no longer an option for them. With proper legislation and oversight, we do not need to beg them to come to our side.
We need police, but we need policing to be done correctly, and trying to build any sort of relationship out of our current framework is doomed to fail.