At this point I hope I get fired from my job

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Pirate Bae

Chloe Price did nothing wrong
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Oct 25, 2017
3,357
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His actions have no reflection on you as a person or as an employee. I would suggest maybe trying to seek counseling, if you can. This breakup sounds incredibly raw and obviously still hurts a lot. You don't have to go through it alone. He's obviously a piece of shit and not worth crying over, but it's hard to see through that in the moment. I've been through many bad and hurtful breakups, and it takes time to get over. Be kind to yourself.

I would talk to your supervisor. If you trust them, and think they can help, do it. It doesn't sound like you're able or want to just up and quit, and you can't move positions. Maybe they will be understanding about how much you are struggling; any boss worth your time will take the time to make sure their employees are okay. The day I tried to kill myself, two of my supervisors came to my house and talked me down and brought me to the hospital. I'll never forget it. You can't do your job if you're not okay mentally and emotionally, and they should be able to help you.
 
Nov 17, 2017
6,165
Because I was incredibly hurt by his decision to cheat on me and then completely write me off as a human being. I’ve had friends who’ve been cheated on, at least their partners actually confessed to cheating.

He just moved on before we were over and is still beloved at work by all the managers. I was on our team’s sports league but told I can no longer go because he doesn’t want me there.

There’s multiple people at this job who used to date but they can still work together because they act like adults and talk to each other about how to work together. He just is too afraid to talk and it impacts my job and confidence.
He can stop you from being on the company team? What is your company’s policy about workplace relationships? That is incredibly unfair and unprofessional.

Either way, don’t obsess over how you found out about the cheating or why he didn’t tell you. My ex never actually admitted to the cheating. Guess what? It doesn’t matter. He hurt you, you were hurt. Allow yourself to feel sad and accept that you are hurt by this. But don’t let it defeat you. Don’t let them hurt you anymore than they have. The best response is to persevere. It will get better.

Because I’ve always had a hard time opening up and finally let down my walls to have it end with him cheating and pretending I don’t exist. What a great 1st relationship.
Oh, a first relationship? Yeah, I know you can’t really see it now but this is nothing. The first break up always hurts like crazy especially if cheating is involved. You will grow as a person, meet new people and have new relationships in the future and you’ll look back at this and laugh. I know it seems impossible now but trust me. This asshole isn’t worth giving up the job you worked so hard for. Give it time and he’ll be less than a cliffnote in your story.
 
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MrConbon210

MrConbon210

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Oct 31, 2017
3,923
He can stop you from being on the company team? What is your company’s policy about workplace relationships? That is incredibly unfair and unprofessional.

Either way, don’t obsess over how you found out about the cheating or why he didn’t tell you. My ex never actually admitted to the cheating. Guess what? It doesn’t matter. He hurt you, you were hurt. Allow yourself to feel sad and accept that you are hurt by this. But don’t let it defeat you. Don’t let them hurt you anymore than they have. The best response is to persevere. It will get better.


Oh, a first relationship? Yeah, I know you can’t really see it now but this is nothing. The first break up always hurts like crazy especially if cheating is involved. You will grow as a person, meet new people and have new relationships in the future and you’ll look back at this and laugh. I know it seems impossible now but trust me. This asshole isn’t worth giving up the job you worked so hard for. Give it time and he’ll be less than a cliffnote in your story.
He never directly stopped me from being on the team. But people on the team have said stuff like, “if you come you will make things awkward and he doesn’t want to see you”. Which is shitty as two other players dated and broke up at the same time. They can both still go however because they communicated like adults. He just gives the silent treatment. The workplace guide doesn’t say anything about relationships. As long as you aren’t dating a superior it doesn’t matter.
 

Ziltoidia 9

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,458
I have friends who have been supportive. Though my closest friend is on vacation for the next two weeks. Other than my boyfriend I had another really close friend but left her once I discovered she knew he was cheating on me and never told me.

I honestly haven’t had the energy to do much. I love Stranger Things but still haven’t seen the new season. I can’t find the motivation to watch tv for that long. Same with some movies. I want to see them but can’t find the energy to commit.
Yeah stranger things wouldn't probably be the best right now.

Have you reached out to try and have a heart to heart with him, without any conditions of getting back together, that you just need to talk with him about work life.
 
Oct 25, 2017
5,958
The other day I got punched.
Wait, can't you even say what field of work this is in? This sounds insane!

Either way, you're still insanely young and your relationship was insanely short. You need to look at the bigger picture and value yourself much higher than that PoS. Don't let a barely two month relationship send you off course. Be lucky you only wasted two months on this guy, as some will cheat on another after years and years of devotion and other life-changing commitments. I was such a victim. It was one of the lowest points in my life, but I climbed out of the rubble and redoubled my career, physical, and mental health efforts and put myself first.

Don't let some piece of garbage, especially one that only sapped two months out of you, send your life into a tailspin. Your journey has only barely begun.
 
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MrConbon210

MrConbon210

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Oct 31, 2017
3,923
Yeah stranger things wouldn't probably be the best right now.

Have you reached out to try and have a heart to heart with him, without any conditions of getting back together, that you just need to talk with him about work life.
I’ve tried. I sent him a text, a call. He didn’t respond to either. I tried talking to him in the break room and he just got up and walked away. He always struggled with talking about how he feels. That was one of the big issues in our relationship.

At this point if he wants to talk I figure he’ll just come and talk. He won’t say anything if I try to force him.
 

Stabi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
179
France / san francisco
However hard they worked to help you get this job, I doubt they want to see their child go through emotional trauma just to spare them a bit of frustration. They're your parents, and if they were supportive enough of you to help you get this job, they'll be supportive enough of what you're going through now. Don't put yourself through hell just to avoid an uncomfortable conversation; that shit does long term damage and you deserve better than that.
So much this. I don't know your parents but speaking to my mom when I am emotionally wrecked is the best thing that can happen to me
 

ZeroDS

The Fallen
Oct 29, 2017
913
Japan
I’m not gonna lie and say it is a healthy situation. We literally have people scream in our face daily. Usually someone is always crying in the break room. But it’s extremely fulfilling at the same time. We bond over having such a unique and difficult role. It’s not like a typical 9-5. That’s why everyone is so close I guess. Other people don’t really know what we go through.
What on earth is your job friend? That doesn’t sound like a healthy place to be
 
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MrConbon210

MrConbon210

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Oct 31, 2017
3,923
Wait, can't you even say what field of work this is in? This sounds insane!

Either way, you're still insanely young and your relationship was insanely short. You need to look at the bigger picture and value yourself much higher than that PoS. Don't let a barely two month relationship send you off course. Be lucky you only wasted two months on this guy, as some will cheat on another after years and years of devotion and other life-changing commitments. I was such a victim. It was one of the lowest points in my life, but I climbed out of the rubble and redoubled my career, physical, and mental health efforts and put myself first.

Don't let some piece of garbage, especially one that only sapped two months out of you, send your life into a tailspin. Your journey has only barely begun.
People often spend thousands of dollars to be a client where I work and the spot I’m at has the highest reputation. So it’s where nearly all the crazy clients go. Sorta like going to a McDonald’s vs a upscale Sushi restaurant. When they take time off work and are spending $8,000 to be there, they can easily get pissed off.
 
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MrConbon210

MrConbon210

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Oct 31, 2017
3,923
What on earth is your job friend? That doesn’t sound like a healthy place to be
We honestly learn to love the crazy people. It makes our day exciting. We act super polite and respectful to them and the moment we get to the break room we laugh at how over the top the person was being. It’s understandable most of the time why they are upset.
 

Deffers

Member
Mar 4, 2018
1,201
People often spend thousands of dollars to be a client where I work and the spot I’m at has the highest reputation. So it’s where nearly all the crazy clients go. Sorta like going to a McDonald’s vs a upscale Sushi restaurant. When they take time off work and are spending $8,000 to be there, they can easily get pissed off.
From the outside in I can't tell which team you're in but I *can* tell you're in one of THOSE teams.

This makes a lot of sense. You're also, relatively speaking, super-young, but consider that turnover must be brutal if the oldest guy there is 29. That's gotta affect why the age skews so long. I hope your original plan gave a lot of thought to where you are right now, and now that things have changed for you emotionally, I might recommend you look towards reassessing things. Honestly, try not to get fired, but maybe consider this a temporary gig. I must imagine you were hoping for a promotion relatively early on?

Again, I'm going to echo the sentiments of the other posters and suggest you work on making sure this weirdo doesn't derail this thing. One more time I'm gonna suggest you check out the DARVO checklist, and see if that puts some of your ex's behaviors in a different light.
 

Ziltoidia 9

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,458
I’ve tried. I sent him a text, a call. He didn’t respond to either. I tried talking to him in the break room and he just got up and walked away. He always struggled with talking about how he feels. That was one of the big issues in our relationship.

At this point if he wants to talk I figure he’ll just come and talk. He won’t say anything if I try to force him.
Hmmm, what would you say would make things better for you? It is obvious that you two arn't going to be together anymore, and frankely the way he is acting should be a sign to you that you shouldn't even want to be with him. There is that side of it, then there is the professional side of it, and a huge thing we have to do in any profession is to just do the job and go about your business while trying to have some sort of comradery.
 

Hamchan

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
2,595
Don’t let some cheating arse ruin your dream job. If he’s the on that cheated on you I would just blank him back and keep telling yourself that you’re not the one who should be quitting over this.
In 30 years time you might not even remember his face anymore where this dream job can be an invaluable start of where you want your career to go.
 
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MrConbon210

MrConbon210

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Oct 31, 2017
3,923
From the outside in I can't tell which team you're in but I *can* tell you're in one of THOSE teams.

This makes a lot of sense. You're also, relatively speaking, super-young, but consider that turnover must be brutal if the oldest guy there is 29. That's gotta affect why the age skews so long. I hope your original plan gave a lot of thought to where you are right now, and now that things have changed for you emotionally, I might recommend you look towards reassessing things. Honestly, try not to get fired, but maybe consider this a temporary gig. I must imagine you were hoping for a promotion relatively early on?

Again, I'm going to echo the sentiments of the other posters and suggest you work on making sure this weirdo doesn't derail this thing. One more time I'm gonna suggest you check out the DARVO checklist, and see if that puts some of your ex's behaviors in a different light.
With my job as well we are also supposed to be playing the role of teenagers. So they honestly do try to hire younger people to fit the story. Despite that the job is physically and mentally brutal.

I do expect to be promoted quicker due to having a specific degree that a lot of people don’t have. Usually it’s around 4-5 years but I can see it take around half that for me.
 

Jon Carter

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,102
Will someone please think of the out-of-touch posters and tell us what the fucking job is already?
 

Deffers

Member
Mar 4, 2018
1,201
With my job as well we are also supposed to be playing the role of teenagers. So they honestly do try to hire younger people to fit the story. Despite that the job is physically and mentally brutal.

I do expect to be promoted quicker due to having a specific degree that a lot of people don’t have. Usually it’s around 4-5 years but I can see it take around half that for me.
Hrm. Two years may not seem like nothing when it's 10% of your life (it's like 13% of my life, lol) but it DOES go in a flash. Being stuck in a degree I didn't want for four years has taught me THAT. Of course, the ennui you and I are facing is different.

If my "bf is a scumbag" hypothesis is correct, I suspect getting you out of that team might be part of the intended effect, but you really SHOULD consider if switching teams is maybe worth it. How feasible would it be to switch to a lower team for a few months, until you've built up some distance, then go back on that grind?
 
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MrConbon210

MrConbon210

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Oct 31, 2017
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I feel left out because I can't figure out what the job is
It’s in the hospitality industry. I play a character to help immerse guests in a story. We get around 10 million visitors every year. Easy to figure out from that. Though I won’t say specifically what my role is.
 
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MrConbon210

MrConbon210

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Oct 31, 2017
3,923
Hrm. Two years may not seem like nothing when it's 10% of your life (it's like 13% of my life, lol) but it DOES go in a flash. Being stuck in a degree I didn't want for four years has taught me THAT. Of course, the ennui you and I are facing is different.

If my "bf is a scumbag" hypothesis is correct, I suspect getting you out of that team might be part of the intended effect, but you really SHOULD consider if switching teams is maybe worth it. How feasible would it be to switch to a lower team for a few months, until you've built up some distance, then go back on that grind?
Eh I could switch teams but I would end up losing out on the experience I gained. It’s technically the same job but I would have to be retrained and such. So it’s best to stay where you are.
 
Oct 26, 2017
2,979
I'm gonna guess it's something like Disney World. Know a few people who did gigs like that. And same thing, everyone sleeping with each other and only hanging out with coworkers. I can't imagine putting up with that but those same people put up with a lot of crap I never would and seem to like it.Good luck, op. If you really do love the job, stick with it.

As for the relationship, you dated a total shit. I saw one of your earlier threads on this. Dude is a shit. I hope you're in a country where the general population speaks your language because that gives you the tools to build relationships outside of work and that's what you really need to do. That work situation is unhealthy in the best of times, you need an escape from it in your off time that isn't just moping
 

Soundscream

Member
Nov 2, 2017
2,493
Getting punched at work, co-workers being all up in each other's relationships......if your not lined up to get over 100k when you graduate I'd say GTFO.
 
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MrConbon210

MrConbon210

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Oct 31, 2017
3,923
I'm gonna guess it's something like Disney World. Know a few people who did gigs like that. And same thing, everyone sleeping with each other and only hanging out with coworkers. I can't imagine putting up with that but those same people put up with a lot of crap I never would and seem to like it.Good luck, op. If you really do love the job, stick with it.

As for the relationship, you dated a total shit. I saw one of your earlier threads on this. Dude is a shit. I hope you're in a country where the general population speaks your language because that gives you the tools to build relationships outside of work and that's what you really need to do. That work situation is unhealthy in the best of times, you need an escape from it in your off time that isn't just moping
oh yeah it must be Disney
Sure. Let’s go with Disney.
 

saenima

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,751
I gotta say. The more i read about this 'dream job', the more it sounds like an absolute nightmare.
 

Siggy-P

Avenger
Mar 18, 2018
4,926
Dating a co-worker is one of those things that's so common because it's fine in the moment, but it's only retroactively you know it's a terrible idea because you see how bad it gets when the inevitable break-up or drama ensues.

Cus your stuck with the person, and if they're being a shit it causes issues.

I haven't done it but I've seen others do it and it always goes to shit. I almost dated a co-worker once. Glad I didn't because when she started causing problems I was the one she was asking to deal with it for her.

It’s in the hospitality industry. I play a character to help immerse guests in a story. We get around 10 million visitors every year. Easy to figure out from that. Though I won’t say specifically what my role is.
Ah, got it.

And here I was trying to figure out what sort of brothel/strip/hostess club works into a degree.
 

Deffers

Member
Mar 4, 2018
1,201
Eh I could switch teams but I would end up losing out on the experience I gained. It’s technically the same job but I would have to be retrained and such. So it’s best to stay where you are.
I don't know the hiring structure of the place you work at intimately, so I don't know what comes after "performer," but that may be a pro, not a con, depending on how far you want to climb. You'd have gotten the lay of the land.

Speaking strategically (and I think that's what you're responding well to right now, so let's keep on that vibe), there are ways to FRAME retrainings and rehirings if you've got connections in management, as a GENERAL thing. How well-connected are your parents anyways?
 
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MrConbon210

MrConbon210

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Oct 31, 2017
3,923
I gotta say. The more i read about this 'dream job', the more it sounds like an absolute nightmare.
I love the idea of getting to play a character and immerse guests in a story. It’s super fun to talk to clients and help sell them that they’re in this new land. Especially when it has a lot of fans.
 

Antrax

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,138
You should tell him you're not going to alter your schedule for him. If he has to get up or go all silent, then that's a personal problem, but not your personal problem.
 

Bio

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
1,689
Denver, Colorado
I literally moved nearly 1,500 miles for this dream spot. I’m in college and my degree ties in directly with this job. I would leave if I wasn’t so invested in this job. All my bosses viewed me as one of the best new employees.
I would still suggest at least talking to your parents about the situation before you quit or get yourself fired. They seem very supportive of you, and good parents aren't just supportive when it's easy. You're still in college, you're allowed to have setbacks here and there, especially when they're not your fault (and this doesn't sound like it's even remotely your fault).
 
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MrConbon210

MrConbon210

Member
Oct 31, 2017
3,923
You should tell him you're not going to alter your schedule for him. If he has to get up or go all silent, then that's a personal problem, but not your personal problem.
Heh. Funny you say that as I did alter my schedule for him so that we are off the same days. He broke up with me the day that went into effect. I’m currently trying o change it back.
 

Antrax

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,138
Heh. Funny you say that as I did alter my schedule for him so that we are off the same days. He broke up with me the day that went into effect. I’m currently trying o change it back.
Hey, work whatever days you prefer. Fuck this dude. He's persona non grata to you now. I'm sorry your first relationship was with a douche, but that's his loss and your gain.
 

Shogeki

Member
Oct 15, 2018
106
I literally moved nearly 1,500 miles for this dream spot. I’m in college and my degree ties in directly with this job. I would leave if I wasn’t so invested in this job. All my bosses viewed me as one of the best new employees.
This going to sound harsh and I know it's not so easy but you really need to nut up and get your shit together. It's your dream job! don't let some asshole who doesn't give two shits about you ruin everything you've worked so hard for. It makes no logical sense, he already screwed you over once so why let him do it again? You're better than that and he is definitely not worth you losing your dream gig over. You will find someone else, someone who won't do you dirty af. You need to hurry up and get to the angry stage.
 
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