Guy sounds like a true arsehole. Don't give him the satisfaction of derailing your career and aspirations.
He can stop you from being on the company team? What is your company's policy about workplace relationships? That is incredibly unfair and unprofessional.Because I was incredibly hurt by his decision to cheat on me and then completely write me off as a human being. I've had friends who've been cheated on, at least their partners actually confessed to cheating.
He just moved on before we were over and is still beloved at work by all the managers. I was on our team's sports league but told I can no longer go because he doesn't want me there.
There's multiple people at this job who used to date but they can still work together because they act like adults and talk to each other about how to work together. He just is too afraid to talk and it impacts my job and confidence.
Oh, a first relationship? Yeah, I know you can't really see it now but this is nothing. The first break up always hurts like crazy especially if cheating is involved. You will grow as a person, meet new people and have new relationships in the future and you'll look back at this and laugh. I know it seems impossible now but trust me. This asshole isn't worth giving up the job you worked so hard for. Give it time and he'll be less than a cliffnote in your story.Because I've always had a hard time opening up and finally let down my walls to have it end with him cheating and pretending I don't exist. What a great 1st relationship.
He can stop you from being on the company team? What is your company's policy about workplace relationships? That is incredibly unfair and unprofessional.
Either way, don't obsess over how you found out about the cheating or why he didn't tell you. My ex never actually admitted to the cheating. Guess what? It doesn't matter. He hurt you, you were hurt. Allow yourself to feel sad and accept that you are hurt by this. But don't let it defeat you. Don't let them hurt you anymore than they have. The best response is to persevere. It will get better.
Oh, a first relationship? Yeah, I know you can't really see it now but this is nothing. The first break up always hurts like crazy especially if cheating is involved. You will grow as a person, meet new people and have new relationships in the future and you'll look back at this and laugh. I know it seems impossible now but trust me. This asshole isn't worth giving up the job you worked so hard for. Give it time and he'll be less than a cliffnote in your story.
I have friends who have been supportive. Though my closest friend is on vacation for the next two weeks. Other than my boyfriend I had another really close friend but left her once I discovered she knew he was cheating on me and never told me.
I honestly haven't had the energy to do much. I love Stranger Things but still haven't seen the new season. I can't find the motivation to watch tv for that long. Same with some movies. I want to see them but can't find the energy to commit.
You make me feel so old every time you say this and nobody puts two and two together. I hope that at least makes you laugh right now at least.
Wait, can't you even say what field of work this is in? This sounds insane!
Yeah stranger things wouldn't probably be the best right now.
Have you reached out to try and have a heart to heart with him, without any conditions of getting back together, that you just need to talk with him about work life.
However hard they worked to help you get this job, I doubt they want to see their child go through emotional trauma just to spare them a bit of frustration. They're your parents, and if they were supportive enough of you to help you get this job, they'll be supportive enough of what you're going through now. Don't put yourself through hell just to avoid an uncomfortable conversation; that shit does long term damage and you deserve better than that.
What on earth is your job friend? That doesn't sound like a healthy place to beI'm not gonna lie and say it is a healthy situation. We literally have people scream in our face daily. Usually someone is always crying in the break room. But it's extremely fulfilling at the same time. We bond over having such a unique and difficult role. It's not like a typical 9-5. That's why everyone is so close I guess. Other people don't really know what we go through.
Wait, can't you even say what field of work this is in? This sounds insane!
Either way, you're still insanely young and your relationship was insanely short. You need to look at the bigger picture and value yourself much higher than that PoS. Don't let a barely two month relationship send you off course. Be lucky you only wasted two months on this guy, as some will cheat on another after years and years of devotion and other life-changing commitments. I was such a victim. It was one of the lowest points in my life, but I climbed out of the rubble and redoubled my career, physical, and mental health efforts and put myself first.
Don't let some piece of garbage, especially one that only sapped two months out of you, send your life into a tailspin. Your journey has only barely begun.
I think I figured it out. Definitely not the workplace environment I was thinking.You make me feel so old every time you say this and nobody puts two and two together. I hope that at least makes you laugh right now at least.
What on earth is your job friend? That doesn't sound like a healthy place to be
Ya don goof'd now, friend-o! Put dem dukes up.
People often spend thousands of dollars to be a client where I work and the spot I'm at has the highest reputation. So it's where nearly all the crazy clients go. Sorta like going to a McDonald's vs a upscale Sushi restaurant. When they take time off work and are spending $8,000 to be there, they can easily get pissed off.
I've tried. I sent him a text, a call. He didn't respond to either. I tried talking to him in the break room and he just got up and walked away. He always struggled with talking about how he feels. That was one of the big issues in our relationship.
At this point if he wants to talk I figure he'll just come and talk. He won't say anything if I try to force him.
It is a pretty rare job. A lot of people don't grow up with them so I can see why it's not a job that first comes to mind.
From the outside in I can't tell which team you're in but I *can* tell you're in one of THOSE teams.
This makes a lot of sense. You're also, relatively speaking, super-young, but consider that turnover must be brutal if the oldest guy there is 29. That's gotta affect why the age skews so long. I hope your original plan gave a lot of thought to where you are right now, and now that things have changed for you emotionally, I might recommend you look towards reassessing things. Honestly, try not to get fired, but maybe consider this a temporary gig. I must imagine you were hoping for a promotion relatively early on?
Again, I'm going to echo the sentiments of the other posters and suggest you work on making sure this weirdo doesn't derail this thing. One more time I'm gonna suggest you check out the DARVO checklist, and see if that puts some of your ex's behaviors in a different light.
Is it casino related? Had a friend that serviced high rollers in a casino and she told me everyone in that team is either divorced or single because of the demands/what they see
With my job as well we are also supposed to be playing the role of teenagers. So they honestly do try to hire younger people to fit the story. Despite that the job is physically and mentally brutal.
I do expect to be promoted quicker due to having a specific degree that a lot of people don't have. Usually it's around 4-5 years but I can see it take around half that for me.
I swear you couldn't decipher my writing either. Sometimes I can't read myself after a few daysWould this explain why my French teacher (born and raised in France and 70 years old) had such HORRIBLE handwriting which was some unholy mix of cursive and print?
Hrm. Two years may not seem like nothing when it's 10% of your life (it's like 13% of my life, lol) but it DOES go in a flash. Being stuck in a degree I didn't want for four years has taught me THAT. Of course, the ennui you and I are facing is different.
If my "bf is a scumbag" hypothesis is correct, I suspect getting you out of that team might be part of the intended effect, but you really SHOULD consider if switching teams is maybe worth it. How feasible would it be to switch to a lower team for a few months, until you've built up some distance, then go back on that grind?
I'm gonna guess it's something like Disney World. Know a few people who did gigs like that. And same thing, everyone sleeping with each other and only hanging out with coworkers. I can't imagine putting up with that but those same people put up with a lot of crap I never would and seem to like it.Good luck, op. If you really do love the job, stick with it.
As for the relationship, you dated a total shit. I saw one of your earlier threads on this. Dude is a shit. I hope you're in a country where the general population speaks your language because that gives you the tools to build relationships outside of work and that's what you really need to do. That work situation is unhealthy in the best of times, you need an escape from it in your off time that isn't just moping
It's in the hospitality industry. I play a character to help immerse guests in a story. We get around 10 million visitors every year. Easy to figure out from that. Though I won't say specifically what my role is.
Eh I could switch teams but I would end up losing out on the experience I gained. It's technically the same job but I would have to be retrained and such. So it's best to stay where you are.
I gotta say. The more i read about this 'dream job', the more it sounds like an absolute nightmare.
I literally moved nearly 1,500 miles for this dream spot. I'm in college and my degree ties in directly with this job. I would leave if I wasn't so invested in this job. All my bosses viewed me as one of the best new employees.
You should tell him you're not going to alter your schedule for him. If he has to get up or go all silent, then that's a personal problem, but not your personal problem.
Heh. Funny you say that as I did alter my schedule for him so that we are off the same days. He broke up with me the day that went into effect. I'm currently trying o change it back.
I literally moved nearly 1,500 miles for this dream spot. I'm in college and my degree ties in directly with this job. I would leave if I wasn't so invested in this job. All my bosses viewed me as one of the best new employees.