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Australia 2019 Federal Election |OT| Scott Morrison shat his pants at Engadine Maccas in 1997 after the Sharks lost the Grand Final

hidys

The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
491
#1
Welcome to the official thread for the official thread for the 2019 Australian Federal Election.

I’m kind of surprised no one has done this yet so I thought I’d start.

So on the 18th May we will decide on who should be running the country. There are a shitload of prepoll centres so it is pretty easy to vote before then.

Here are the parties:



The Liberal/National Coalition:
The incumbent government led by Prime Minister Tony Abbott Malcolm Turnbull Scott Morrison. Key achievements involve stopping boats by treating refugees like sub-humans. He is seen here cradling a lump of coal in parliament. His biggest claim to fame is that he shat himself at Engadine Maccas in 97’ after the Sharks lost the Grand Final. His parties policies involve cutting taxes and….. budget surpluses? Not sure what he thinks about climate change, the wages crisis or increasing inequality. You know I have no idea what he would do if he won the election. His whole message is that Labor is very bad and you should not vote for them because they might tax you and reducing emissions might wreck the economy. Pretty scary stuff!!
Thankfully he is totally going to lose so the country can get on with a reasonable government.



The Australian Labor Party:
The opposition party led by the checker of notes himself Bill Shorten. Has led Labor since they lost office in 2013. Had a long history in the Australian Worker’s Union as an organizer and then National Secretary. Was a key player in the Rudd-Gillard wars by supporting the later and then supporting the former. Planted the seeds for the National Disability Insurance Scheme when he was parliamentary secretary for disability and it probably wouldn’t have happened without his intervention. Running on a small target although he is the first opposition leader to talk seriously about tax since John Hewson in 93’. Plans to stop John Howard’s free money for retiree’s policy known as franking credits and spending more on health and education. Wants more cancer treatments to be covered under Medicare. Also wants a 45% renewable energy target by 2030 and believes ion climate change. He has talked about replacing the minimum wage with a higher “living wage” although the details of this are vague. If sanity prevails, he will become the Prime Minister.



The Greens:
The biggest third party. Led by Dr. Richard Di Natale and wants a 100% renewable target by 2030, a humane refugee policy, making rich people pay their taxes and spending more those who needed.



One Nation:
Racists and fascists run by Pauline Hanson.



United Australia Party:
He’s back! He wants to make Australia great again. Party of true fuckwits.

Enjoy this image I nicked from Something Awful.
 
Last edited:
Oct 30, 2017
228
#2
Surprised that there wasn’t already a thread going. Not surprised to yet again see the major parties vetting process shitting the bed again - particularly the liberals.

2 candidates from Vic Liberals gone yesterday due to their past social media homophobic and racist posts. That QLD One Nation bloke gone because of his racist remarks in a stop joint in the US (never mind Pauline saying Port Arthur was a an inside job).

Glad to see Morrison give the two liberals the push and say those comments deserve quick action but as soon as it comes to seats that liberals might win like the seat in Tasmania where the Liberal candidate made significant anti-Muslim remarks, he digs his heels in. Poor form from him as he now just looks like a fool taking the moral high ground yesterday and now has to come out and defend his racist candidate the next day because they actually have a chance of taking that seat unlike the other 2 from Victoria.

Labor should win quite comfortably I think - the appetite for any kind of change is here and while I hate Shorten with a passion and desperately wish anyone but him would be leader, I could not bear to see another 4 years of liberals.
 
Oct 27, 2017
4,403
#5
Yeah let's go UAP!

No seriously though why do I keep getting these text messages from Clive Palmer? I'm never voting for them even if they claim they'll pass legislation to stop use of unsolicited SMSs for election campaigning (they actually did this - over an SMS).
 
Oct 27, 2017
3,090
#9
I would vote early, but... you know... democracy sausage.

My closest nailbiter electorate is Corangamite (which I'm not actually in), but I honestly can't fucking wait to see Sarah Henderson get booted out. Funny how there's all these initiatives announced coming up to an election when she's done literally fuck all since the last election.

Can't say I necessarily respect/like Shorten as PM, but you can't doubt the chops his cabinet has in their respective areas. A finance guy with actual qualifications, for example.

PS. The idea of Tanya Plibersek being deputy PM is fucking fantastic.
 
Oct 27, 2017
4,403
#10
What's not appealing about Shorten? It's curious to me that he's always behind in leader polls even when his party's ahead. Wonder why that is.
 
OP
OP
hidys

hidys

The Fallen
Oct 26, 2017
491
#11
I don’t think I’ll be voting early.
I’ve always felt voting on the day is the right thing to do.
Might try and find a democracy sausage booth although that will involve going out of my way a bit.
 
Nov 3, 2017
47
#12
I think Albanese would be a more popular leader but Labor learnt their lesson from all the leadership squabbling and so with the rules in place I think it's fine they stick with Shorten.
 
Nov 7, 2017
1,919
#13
Hopefully we can finally get this shit stain of a government out. I don’t love the current labor party but they’re such a better option. I also find it worrying because if labor can’t win this election it makes me wonder just what it would take. The coalition have done everything they can to make themselves unelectable.

What's not appealing about Shorten? It's curious to me that he's always behind in leader polls even when his party's ahead. Wonder why that is.
The same reason that almost everyone remembers Gillard as a terrible PM. The propaganda that comes from the media and the coalition is a powerful thing.
 
Oct 27, 2017
3,090
#14
What's not appealing about Shorten? It's curious to me that he's always behind in leader polls even when his party's ahead. Wonder why that is.
Not that he's not appealing, just nothing outstanding about him.

I guess it's telling the only dirt they can dig up on him is that he was involved with unions. As if that's the worst thing.
 
Oct 29, 2017
4,829
Sydney
#15
Yeah it's not going well for the Government since all these candidates are imploding in Tasmania and Victoria, which is where they're worried about absolutely getting gutted offsetting any potential gains in Queensland or New South Wales.

It's not like those states are without trouble either though, Dutton looks done in Dickson, and Reid in Sydney is likely to flip.

It's complicated for them because they basically can't lose a single seat and have to pick up so many.
 
Nov 14, 2017
945
#18
A+ thread title/OP combination.

Been tuned out of it for the past couple of weeks but with the debate failing to deliver on either Morrison foaming at the mouth in pure rage or Shorten delivering a zinger so good it induces comas in the audience it seems like there hasn't been much to miss. That all the right wing parties seem to be fielding candidates picked from the crop of commenters on local news pages really fits the whole vibe.
 
Oct 28, 2017
1,837
#19
It would be nice if there was an actual singular report or site that simply presented cold hard facts of successes, middle ground and failures on a range of projects, initiatives and issues for major parties likely to win the election. I guess I expect far too much from reporters/media.
 
Mar 22, 2019
46
#20
First voting for me as I just became an Aussie Citizen last year - very excited and keen to educate myself on the different parties.

Nice title thread OP - looking forward to the summary of each party and what they stand for!
 
Oct 27, 2017
4,403
#21
It's not full of information and is rather basic but the ABC vote compass quiz is somewhat useful to assess your alignment with the different parties.
 
Oct 27, 2017
129
Australia
#27
https://thenewdaily.com.au/news/election-2019/2019/05/02/federal-police-not-probing-doctored-post/

Morrison is lying again. AFP have no referral or request regarding Whelan's posts.

Just trying to buy time, like the watergate thing, like hiding Melissa Price, like hiding Christensen and Dutton, until election is over.
I really hope the whole Luke Creasey dumping hasn't sucked the wind out of catching him out in such a blatant, insulting lie, but i don't really trust our media to hold him accountable to any degree. The liberals hiding behind the shield of the AFP is so scummy.
 

Hamchan

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
2,188
#29
Political apathy is high it feels.

Voted early already at pre-polling. I suggest everyone who has already decided just do that and then tune out this stuff for the next fortnight.
 
Oct 28, 2017
1,252
#35
I really hope the whole Luke Creasey dumping hasn't sucked the wind out of catching him out in such a blatant, insulting lie, but i don't really trust our media to hold him accountable to any degree. The liberals hiding behind the shield of the AFP is so scummy.
I'm already seeing it played out like 'both sides' and that they're as bad as each other etc in the media today.

I mean Creasey's comments were shocking and he needed to resign (even if his comments were from 7 years ago). But the way Whelan is hiding behind being 'hacked' and being photoshopped, that the AFP was supposed to investigate is such bullshit.

An infuriating interview on abc radio with a voter from TAS today: A shame that people can't say what they want these days without it coming back to haunt them. I'm going to vote for her anyway, if she's independent after the election she'll vote with Morrison. SMH
 
Oct 25, 2017
497
#36
Tasmanian voters are an odd bunch, honestly. Our electorates in general are so big, there's a mix of rural and city regions and in general, a lot of people are distrustful of politics as a whole in my experience. It doesn't help that one of the most popular radio shows in Tassie is right-wing, transphobic and misogynistic drivel, imo. Last I heard he was pushing the Liberals pretty hard, but he definitely encourages the whole distrust of all politicians.

My electorate, Bass, changes parties more than we change Prime Ministers, so I'm expecting our Labor minister to be turfed out, which would be a shame. He's kind of a nothing in terms of public perception, but all my/people I know's personal interactions with him have been positive. It was interesting to hear that the Liberal member for Bass is the only candidate that doesn't support a rise to Newstart, but, I don't think that's made much airtime.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,303
#39
Every time I see a poll showing the race tightening (shortening?), I get pre-emptively angry about the Australian electorate and the Queensland electorate in particular and lose just a little bit of my faith.

Then I remember that I live in the Florida of the Southern Hemisphere and my anger turns to plain disappointment.
 
Oct 28, 2017
1,776
#40
Every time I see a poll showing the race tightening (shortening?), I get pre-emptively angry about the Australian electorate and the Queensland electorate in particular and lose just a little bit of my faith.

Then I remember that I live in the Florida of the Southern Hemisphere and my anger turns to plain disappointment.
Its "tighening" in the sense that Newspoll has changed their methlodogy to change the flow of preferences of Palmer's narcassism party to favour the LNP. Previously it was around 53%, Newspoll is assuming a figure of 60%. Change that figure back to 53% and the numbers as exactly the same as it has always been: 52-48 or 53-47 towards Labor.

In the meantime, the Preferred Prime Minister gap between Shorten and Incumbent Prime Minister is like the lowest it has ever been. Considering that's the sole thing that Morrison has trotted out in response to the LNP losing Newspoll for like 1000 weeks, I would not be so quick to assume the race is actually tightening.


Like Morrison can't even win a debate on his own news channel.
 
Last edited:
Oct 28, 2017
1,776
#42
Morrison is just a huge weirdo that doesn't know how real life works in the same way Latham was. For a man whose election is hinged on being more likable than Shorten and absolutely nothing else, he really doesn't know how to run a popularity campaign. His whole gameplan seems to be to fuck around with preferences at this point.


Like isn't this the single most important thing of the "pub test"? Not being a deadbeat grifter who doesn't pay for his own drinks and never shouts?
 
#43
Its "tighening" in the sense that Newspoll has changed their methlodogy to change the flow of preferences of Palmer's narcassism party to favour the LNP. Previously it was around 53%, Newspoll is assuming a figure of 60%. Change that figure back to 53% and the numbers as exactly the same as it has always been: 52-48 or 53-47 towards Labor.

In the meantime, the Preferred Prime Minister gap between Shorten and Incumbent Prime Minister is like the lowest it has ever been. Considering that's the sole thing that Morrison has trotted out in response to the LNP losing Newspoll for like 1000 weeks, I would not be so quick to assume the race is actually tightening.


Like Morrison can't even win a debate on his own news channel.

Exactly, there was a measurable change in preferred PM that didn't match up to the slight tightening in 2pp. Chucking UAP into the mix with a preference split that doesn't line up to any measured history has fucked up the results. The ONP split has been bad for a while as well. Lets face it, anyone from QLD considering voting for Clive is going to have trouble filling out a ballot correctly anyway.
 
Last edited:
Dec 6, 2017
2,188
#50
What's not appealing about Shorten?
He's a whiny little mushroom of a man.

Don't get me wrong, I'd prefer him and Labour over the Libs any day and I'll vote for him (or rather, I'll place him higher in preference) but he is painfully devoid of charisma.