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Oct 25, 2017
2,722
...t-three thousand dollars...

since this thread is now out of the spotlight again: it's about four thousand euro to do so as an adult in the Netherlands. It does fall under normal health insurance though, so you'd never really pay any of that. But expenses aside, the resources available are far more extensive than in most countries, so I suppose one should be grateful for that.

Also, this country is basically what you get if an entire people was on the spectrum and build a country anyway.

you could say it's: Spectrum In Disguise! *tudu-dudu, DU!*
 

OniLinkPlus

Self-Requested Ban
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
600
Woah, Bed Bath & Beyond where I currently live has weighted blankets. Of course they are still prohibitively expensive though :(
 
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JonnyDBrit

JonnyDBrit

God and Anime
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,014
I must admit the concept of a specifically weighted blanket has me curious. I normally just have a fairly high tog quilt wise, but it is comfy in how secure it feels.
 

OniLinkPlus

Self-Requested Ban
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
600
A lot of my autie friends from other places have weighted blankets and have given huge praise for them as comfort objects, I've gotten to try having weight on me before and enjoyed it so I very much would like to get one for myself. Too bad the cost is like $1/lB of user's body weight
 

Kolya

Member
Jan 26, 2018
786
Just the place I was looking for.

Goddamn, I remember why I never interact with anyone here or anywhere.

I just can't do it... I always fuck it up somehow.
 
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JonnyDBrit

JonnyDBrit

God and Anime
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,014
Hi everybody, I was diagnosed with autism early this year at 23. I'm kind of disappointed this community seems dead?

Bit of a catch-22 when you consider the condition in question. But the occasional prompt does bring people to at least pop their heads in, I find.

So uh, thanks for that I suppose. And congrats on getting the diagnosis; wishing you all the best in understanding yourself and moving forward from here
 

Prax

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,755
What do you guys want out of the autism community.

I think some people are wary because people with autism tend to put their foot in their mouths or wear their hearts on their sleeves (aka, speak too frankly about what's on their mind and commit social faux pas). They might not always want to just say whatever they want freely in a place like ERA, where it's both highly moderated but also somewhat highly watched by less savoury people, so engagement is lower.

I myself didn't start being more internet-active until my late 20s because of all the anxiety around social interaction, even online versions of it lol.
 
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JonnyDBrit

JonnyDBrit

God and Anime
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,014
Something similar to what the LGBT community has.

From the outside looking in most minority communities seem to have a lot of support for each other that we don't.

To be fair, part of that is because that 'community' is a deliberately broad church that has expanded itself both as much as it is willing and as it is able, in order to be able to gain such influence and standing that they might all might benefit. And that broadly works out because they all just wanna be who they are, whether that's in terms of who they like, how they identify themselves, and so on. With autism that's a harder sell, both because you're talking about individuals often not given to social interaction and change in general, but also because of the variance in circumstances, that affect both the desire and ability to act. It's hard to put one's self in a position to be helping others on the spectrum if you're struggling to look after one's self on a daily basis; even if you have the ability, the desire may not be there because well... just living with the condition doesn't make us qualified carers, and it can be difficult to support someone else, particularly if all you've got to offer is some platitudes in text when they're going through a crisis.

Where we're able, it's good to try. But it's understandable if one doesn't.
 

Kthulhu

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,670
To be fair, part of that is because that 'community' is a deliberately broad church that has expanded itself both as much as it is willing and as it is able, in order to be able to gain such influence and standing that they might all might benefit. And that broadly works out because they all just wanna be who they are, whether that's in terms of who they like, how they identify themselves, and so on. With autism that's a harder sell, both because you're talking about individuals often not given to social interaction and change in general, but also because of the variance in circumstances, that affect both the desire and ability to act. It's hard to put one's self in a position to be helping others on the spectrum if you're struggling to look after one's self on a daily basis; even if you have the ability, the desire may not be there because well... just living with the condition doesn't make us qualified carers, and it can be difficult to support someone else, particularly if all you've got to offer is some platitudes in text when they're going through a crisis.

Where we're able, it's good to try. But it's understandable if one doesn't.

I think it's going to start to change soon.

The web has enabled new forms of social interaction that make it easier for people who otherwise were incapable of supporting each other to finally put something together.

Eventually that trickles into real life. Then hopefully things will start to improve at a drastic level.
 
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JonnyDBrit

JonnyDBrit

God and Anime
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,014
I think it's going to start to change soon.

The web has enabled new forms of social interaction that make it easier for people who otherwise were incapable of supporting each other to finally put something together.

Eventually that trickles into real life. Then hopefully things will start to improve at a drastic level.

To some extent I do hope that to be true - point of this thread, etc. It's just... I find it also helps reinforce what little one can actually do, where support can at times be very much needed there, physically.
 

Beedig

Member
Feb 10, 2018
1,268
Isn't there a Autism Awareness month or day? I hardly see any social media push for that anywhere.
 
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JonnyDBrit

JonnyDBrit

God and Anime
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,014
Isn't there a Autism Awareness month or day? I hardly see any social media push for that anywhere.

Autism Awareness Day is April 2nd; that's a UN one, and one that sometimes gets extended out into an Autism Awareness Week or Month, depending on locality and support group... well, support
 

CatDoggo

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
775
Do we have a Discord? Or is there at the very least a general autistic community on Discord? With the way things are going on this site, I want to cover all of my bases. I don't want to lose this community entirely.
 

Loona

Member
Oct 29, 2017
611
Has anyone else seen the short animated film Mind My Mind?


Not embedding the trailer since it can get a bit spoiler.

Anyway, I came across it at the Eindhoven film festival, and apparently festivals are currently the only way to access it, but open option may open up next year.

I liked it for the depiction of I internal mental processes (I love stuff like Herman's Head) - it only mentions autism once in the film itself, but it's overtly a topic in how it's been promoted. I figure folks here might be interested if they get the option to see it.
 

TaySan

SayTan
Member
Dec 10, 2018
31,391
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Stalkers make me laugh 🤣🤣
People that bully us have nothing better to do in their lives than getting their rocks off are just sad.
 

Deleted member 40102

User requested account closure
Banned
Feb 19, 2018
3,420
Does any of you here meditate?

I really wanna get into meditation, but I don't know any great techniques.
 

CatDoggo

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
775
Does any of you here meditate?

I really wanna get into meditation, but I don't know any great techniques.

I've tried getting into meditating multiple times throughout my life but I find that I just get too easily distracted and my thoughts tend to wander too much. The only advice I can give is to try meditation videos or sound files as having those to focus on helped me a little more than just trying to do it in complete silence. Just always make sure to check it first to make sure it's not a secret screamer or something. Usually the most popular ones are safe though.
 

Deleted member 40102

User requested account closure
Banned
Feb 19, 2018
3,420
I've tried getting into meditating multiple times throughout my life but I find that I just get too easily distracted and my thoughts tend to wander too much. The only advice I can give is to try meditation videos or sound files as having those to focus on helped me a little more than just trying to do it in complete silence. Just always make sure to check it first to make sure it's not a secret screamer or something. Usually the most popular ones are safe though.
Same but even with the audio I still get distracted. My most meditating time probably like 1 min then I'm like eh let me do something else or even worse I forget I was trying to meditate in the first place.
 

Android Sophia

The Absolute Sword
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
6,095
Does any of you here meditate?

I really wanna get into meditation, but I don't know any great techniques.

I practice mindfulness mediation, to great effect. They significantly help with my anxiety and other related issues. Look up "mindfulness breathing exercises" to get you started.
 
Oct 27, 2017
1,345
I seriously don't know what to do.
My parents are in denial and often resort to physical violence (i was beaten and kicked many times and once ended up with a black eye) or threats of throwing me out of the house when I mention something about autism. I guess the stigma is too heavy amongst neurotypicals.
There's no discussion to be had with them. They're anti-vaxxers, conspiracy nuts who believe in homeopathy which is a pseudoscientific system of alternative medicine that supposedly can even ''cure'' things like autism or schizophrenia with the right diet and ''natural remedies''.
 
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Kthulhu

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,670
I seriously don't know what to do.
My parents are in denial and often resort to physical violence (i was beaten and kicked many times and once ended up with a black eye) or threats of throwing me out of the house when I mention something about autism. I guess the stigma is too heavy amongst neurotypicals.
There's no discussion to be had with them. They're anti-vaxxers, conspiracy nuts who believe in homeopathy which is a pseudoscientific system of alternative medicine that supposedly can even ''cure'' things like autism or schizophrenia with the right diet and ''natural remedies''.

That sounds horrible. Are you in a position where you can move out or stay with friends/other family?
 

Kthulhu

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,670
No I don't think that's possible. Im 21 atm and in my estimates 24 is the earliest when i will be able to strive for some independence. I guess I have to shup up about my autism for the next 3 years.

Best of luck to you. My girlfriend lived with abusive family and has been living with me for the past year. It'll get better I'm sure.
 

EtrianFOE

Member
Oct 26, 2017
212
Hey guys. I've always felt that I was different to other around me, finding it extremely difficult to socialise so most of my teens and all my twenties I drank a lot just to fit in and have the confidence to do the same things as my friends.fast forward to a few years ago and I've stopped drinking, I got married. My wife works with SEN children and has always told me that I may be autistic which I didn't think anything of as I've held down jobs and travelled. A few days ago I decided to do an online test for Asperger's and I scored highly and then tried other tests which also coming back with high scores. I've started reading up on it more since and it pretty much describes me 100%. I can't make eye contact, I spend most of my time alone and focus on a few areas of interest, I become extremely anxious in new situations, avoid all social gatherings including family and have suffered anxiety and depression most of my life. My family see me as odd and I have difficulty creating relationships with people. I always need to follow routines. Etc etc.

Am I thinking too much in these online tests or should I seek further professional diagnosis?
 
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JonnyDBrit

JonnyDBrit

God and Anime
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,014
Hey guys. I've always felt that I was different to other around me, finding it extremely difficult to socialise so most of my teens and all my twenties I drank a lot just to fit in and have the confidence to do the same things as my friends.fast forward to a few years ago and I've stopped drinking, I got married. My wife works with SEN children and has always told me that I may be autistic which I didn't think anything of as I've held down jobs and travelled. A few days ago I decided to do an online test for Asperger's and I scored highly and then tried other tests which also coming back with high scores. I've started reading up on it more since and it pretty much describes me 100%. I can't make eye contact, I spend most of my time alone and focus on a few areas of interest, I become extremely anxious in new situations, avoid all social gatherings including family and have suffered anxiety and depression most of my life. My family see me as odd and I have difficulty creating relationships with people. I always need to follow routines. Etc etc.

Am I thinking too much in these online tests or should I seek further professional diagnosis?

Always worth seeking further assessment. Even if it's a no on the autism - which given biases in care isn't necessarily a firm denial - then having a reference and framework in which to confide is useful on its own terms.

But yeah, being autistic isn't inherently mutually exclusive with work or travel. It can be a heck of a lot harder, sure, but impossible? Nay.

On that note I need to figure out where I wanna go...
 

Prax

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,755
I seriously don't know what to do.
My parents are in denial and often resort to physical violence (i was beaten and kicked many times and once ended up with a black eye) or threats of throwing me out of the house when I mention something about autism. I guess the stigma is too heavy amongst neurotypicals.
There's no discussion to be had with them. They're anti-vaxxers, conspiracy nuts who believe in homeopathy which is a pseudoscientific system of alternative medicine that supposedly can even ''cure'' things like autism or schizophrenia with the right diet and ''natural remedies''.
Honestly, your parents probably have autism themselves given how you describe them and autism's genetic component, and they are both in heavy denial and defensive about it, so you should just protect yourself until you can gain independence and leave. This is a bad situation and I'm sorry you have to be in it.

Research on your own about what resources are avilable to you and connect with people online or at school/work if you can. Don't try to explain yourself to your family or non-accepting peers in ways they won't understand. Keep it simple to "I don't like it/I don't want to" or "I just like it/I just want to" when it comes to your decisions or reactions about things. It will save you some trouble when it comes to the stigma involved with trying to explain how you are on the spectrum. Hope things get better for you soon!

A lot of people with autism or Aspergers will be able to hold jobs and have a semblance of a "normal life" with an extra layer of social or sensory difficulty. It really depends on what strategies and coping mechanisms they have learned over their lifetime and how well that "meshes" with what society will accept.
 
Oct 27, 2017
1,345
Hey guys. I've always felt that I was different to other around me, finding it extremely difficult to socialise so most of my teens and all my twenties I drank a lot just to fit in and have the confidence to do the same things as my friends.fast forward to a few years ago and I've stopped drinking, I got married. My wife works with SEN children and has always told me that I may be autistic which I didn't think anything of as I've held down jobs and travelled. A few days ago I decided to do an online test for Asperger's and I scored highly and then tried other tests which also coming back with high scores. I've started reading up on it more since and it pretty much describes me 100%. I can't make eye contact, I spend most of my time alone and focus on a few areas of interest, I become extremely anxious in new situations, avoid all social gatherings including family and have suffered anxiety and depression most of my life. My family see me as odd and I have difficulty creating relationships with people. I always need to follow routines. Etc etc.

Am I thinking too much in these online tests or should I seek further professional diagnosis?
Seems like a mild case considering you didn't have problems with holding jobs and getting married.
 

Prax

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,755
Hey guys. I've always felt that I was different to other around me, finding it extremely difficult to socialise so most of my teens and all my twenties I drank a lot just to fit in and have the confidence to do the same things as my friends.fast forward to a few years ago and I've stopped drinking, I got married. My wife works with SEN children and has always told me that I may be autistic which I didn't think anything of as I've held down jobs and travelled. A few days ago I decided to do an online test for Asperger's and I scored highly and then tried other tests which also coming back with high scores. I've started reading up on it more since and it pretty much describes me 100%. I can't make eye contact, I spend most of my time alone and focus on a few areas of interest, I become extremely anxious in new situations, avoid all social gatherings including family and have suffered anxiety and depression most of my life. My family see me as odd and I have difficulty creating relationships with people. I always need to follow routines. Etc etc.

Am I thinking too much in these online tests or should I seek further professional diagnosis?
You don't need a professional diagnosis it seems, but it also sounds like you want to KNOW.
I don't think you'd need work accommodations for example, and your wife probably already knows enough to generally accommodate you anyway, so there's not much concrete "stuff" you'd get out of a diagnosis, but it may sate your curiosity or bring you closure with yourself. I think if you have spare cash, sure, why not do? lol

My guess is that you have high enough IQ or adaptive-enough coping mechanisms to compensate for most of your issues even though you have many of them. Your rigid routine-following also probably sets you up in a funnel-like structure to minimize distraction from new sources of stimulation so that all your energies can go toward the employment or maintaining a spousal relationship areas of your life.

Me for example, I hate using the phone/getting calls and sending mail, but over time I have realized that if there is money involved, my motivation and ability to go through with whatever task is really high. Then I can piggyback off that momentum to get still-important but less money-involved things happening.

I still slip up at times though, such as not sending in mail for rebates or insurance claims, so I lose out on tens or even a couple hundreds of dollars each year..Intellectually, I know these tasks are simple and easy for most competent people, but motivationally, who knows why it creates such inertia. Oh well, life be like that sometimes.
 
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OP
JonnyDBrit

JonnyDBrit

God and Anime
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,014
I have a bad habit of info dumping, but i can't help it.

God, get me going about something I really like - especially history - and I find it difficult to stop. Very useful if you're working at say Stonehenge, though. Less so if the people listening are on a time limit
 

Stop It

Bad Cat
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,349
Well as this thread hasn't been really used since Coronavirus really hit globally, it's probably an appropriate time.

It's funny that now even people with ASD, who find the 2 metre rule a life rule rather than a lockdown symptom are probably starting to go a bit mad but for other reasons.

I've had a work routine now for 16 years and while I still work from home, the lack of a pre and post work routine including travel, lunch breaks etc has really got to me and I still don't know what to do with myself half the time.

People who have been part of this community thread will know I was awaiting Assessment for ASD. Because of the lockdown they moved the initial part of the main 2 part assessment online via Zoom. My zoom app wanted to crash but it just about worked. I later realized it doesn't auto update and I was on an old version.

I got an email today saying they are going back to my local mental health team to get the CBT I was initially asking for with the working assumption I have ASD as by the initial assessment I have "clear traits". So while they can't make that as a 100% diagnosis I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to get to that conclusion when they can finish the assessment. I think it's just now what they want to do with me after that but to be honest as before it's not really life changing, it's just confirming something that I should've faced up to sooner.

Glad to see the OP continuing to keep up with the thread and replying to new people and I hope everyone is doing ok through this massive change to all of our lives.
 
OP
OP
JonnyDBrit

JonnyDBrit

God and Anime
Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,014
Hey, good to hear that, even with a few headaches and amidst less than ideal circumstances, you've made progress in that regard. Welcometotheparty.gif

For me I've been handling lockdown well enough, since it does rather resemble my rather isolated lifestyle even before all this. Where it's gotten awkward, and rather anxiety inducing, was the moment anything changed and the uncertainty of whether or not I could actually resolve the issue was amped up considerably.

In my case, I've managed to infect my feet - pitted keratolysis, I'm basically growing holes in my feet - and well, I needed to check with a GP on what it was, get the medicine, etc. Spent ages failing to pick up the phone in each instance because I got stuck fretting over what exactly would happen if things didn't go exactly right. Ie, if the GP couldn't assess what I have over the phone, well I can't exactly come in for a visual check-up at the moment (thankfully, smart phone solved this one). If the medicine didn't come, was I gonna be able to get it elsewhere because there's not exactly multiple pharmacies in a tiny village. The latter was particularly bad because I had kinda expected some notification for when it arrived, but I didn't get one, so the call was the only way I could confirm it.

Beyond that, been using the time to play games, write, so forth. Relatively fortunate with my job in that, being salaried, I'm at least getting paid still through all this.
 

Stop It

Bad Cat
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,349
Hey, good to hear that, even with a few headaches and amidst less than ideal circumstances, you've made progress in that regard. Welcometotheparty.gif

For me I've been handling lockdown well enough, since it does rather resemble my rather isolated lifestyle even before all this. Where it's gotten awkward, and rather anxiety inducing, was the moment anything changed and the uncertainty of whether or not I could actually resolve the issue was amped up considerably.

In my case, I've managed to infect my feet - pitted keratolysis, I'm basically growing holes in my feet - and well, I needed to check with a GP on what it was, get the medicine, etc. Spent ages failing to pick up the phone in each instance because I got stuck fretting over what exactly would happen if things didn't go exactly right. Ie, if the GP couldn't assess what I have over the phone, well I can't exactly come in for a visual check-up at the moment (thankfully, smart phone solved this one). If the medicine didn't come, was I gonna be able to get it elsewhere because there's not exactly multiple pharmacies in a tiny village. The latter was particularly bad because I had kinda expected some notification for when it arrived, but I didn't get one, so the call was the only way I could confirm it.

Beyond that, been using the time to play games, write, so forth. Relatively fortunate with my job in that, being salaried, I'm at least getting paid still through all this.
Sending solidarity your way and hope you've got yourself sorted.

In a way, lockdown should be an "ideal scenario" but the inability to do things as normal has counteracted that. Also my children are so used to nursery and children's groups that it's unfair on them too.

But survive we must and survive we will and at least the Autism team locally have adapted well and managed to keep people on their list informed and helped as much as they can.
 

Like the hat?

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,569
Honestly the worst part for me has been going outside and seeing people completely disregard any social distancing rules. I'm grossed out by people in general because of my dumb brain and this has just made it a hundred times worse.

The time being at home is great
 

Etain

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,800
I'm sure everyone can trip up for one reason or another and there's spaces where it's not a practical option, but I still need to step back frequently when someone asks me a question.

At least this time I have an official line to pull unlike when one guy actually did get a stick up his ass about me making distance, but who knows when I'll encounter someone who decides to take offense to social distancing.
 

bytesized

Banned
Oct 27, 2017
5,882
Amsterdam
Hi all. I have a 2 and a half year old that has been recently diagnosed with ASD, although we've suspected it since he was about 18 months and I'm trying to learn and understand as much as I can ever since.

I just came across this article explaining this "Intense World theory" that a renown neuroscientist came up with after his son was diagnosed with ASD and decided to try to understand how his son saw the world. The gist of it is well summarized in some of the first paragraphs:

IMAGINE BEING BORN into a world of bewildering, inescapable sensory overload, like a visitor from a much darker, calmer, quieter planet. Your mother's eyes: a strobe light. Your father's voice: a growling jackhammer. That cute little onesie everyone thinks is so soft? Sandpaper with diamond grit. And what about all that cooing and affection? A barrage of chaotic, indecipherable input, a cacophony of raw, unfilterable data.
Just to survive, you'd need to be excellent at detecting any pattern you could find in the frightful and oppressive noise.

To stay sane, you'd have to control as much as possible, developing a rigid focus on detail, routine and repetition. Systems in which specific inputs produce predictable outputs would be far more attractive than human beings, with their mystifying and inconsistent demands and their haphazard behavior.

This, Markram and his wife, Kamila, argue, is what it's like to be autistic.

The behavior that results is not due to cognitive deficits—the prevailing view in autism research circles today—but the opposite, they say. Rather than being oblivious, autistic people take in too much and learn too fast. While they may appear bereft of emotion, the Markrams insist they are actually overwhelmed not only by their own emotions, but by the emotions of others.

I am very interested to know what you think of it, if you recognize yourself in what this theory proclaims or not. My son still doesn't speak but, from his behavior, it kind of makes sense to me.

Well, thanks a lot in advance.

medium.com

The Boy Whose Brain Could Unlock Autism

Autism changed Henry Markram’s family. Now his Intense World theory could transform our understanding of the condition.
 

Kthulhu

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,670
Hi all. I have a 2 and a half year old that has been recently diagnosed with ASD, although we've suspected it since he was about 18 months and I'm trying to learn and understand as much as I can ever since.

I just came across this article explaining this "Intense World theory" that a renown neuroscientist came up with after his son was diagnosed with ASD and decided to try to understand how his son saw the world. The gist of it is well summarized in some of the first paragraphs:



I am very interested to know what you think of it, if you recognize yourself in what this theory proclaims or not. My son still doesn't speak but, from his behavior, it kind of makes sense to me.

Well, thanks a lot in advance.

medium.com

The Boy Whose Brain Could Unlock Autism

Autism changed Henry Markram’s family. Now his Intense World theory could transform our understanding of the condition.

I don't think it's entirely inaccurate, but ASD is different for everyone so as much as I saw that I did relate to there is plenty I didn't.

Also like most articles about autism it has almost no quotes from people who actually have autism, which is personally frustrating to me. Most of the article is about an autistic person but they barely get a paragraph's worth of words from him.
 

Luminish

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
6,508
Denver
What do you guys want out of the autism community.

I think some people are wary because people with autism tend to put their foot in their mouths or wear their hearts on their sleeves (aka, speak too frankly about what's on their mind and commit social faux pas). They might not always want to just say whatever they want freely in a place like ERA, where it's both highly moderated but also somewhat highly watched by less savoury people, so engagement is lower.

I myself didn't start being more internet-active until my late 20s because of all the anxiety around social interaction, even online versions of it lol.
I think autistic people generally get along better with other autistic people than they do with nuerotypical people. Being unable to detect your own social faux pas probably also translates to not detecting the social faux pas of others, so the drawback isn't that bad plus you get the benefit of not having to worry about yourself as much.
 

viciouskillersquirrel

Cheering your loss
Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,872
I think autistic people generally get along better with other autistic people than they do with nuerotypical people. Being unable to detect your own social faux pas probably also translates to not detecting the social faux pas of others, so the drawback isn't that bad plus you get the benefit of not having to worry about yourself as much.
This jibes with my experience. I was never diagnosed but I find that a lot of my closest friends exhibit tendencies that would put them on the spectrum. For whatever reason, people on the spectrum find me soothing. I don't demand too much of them socially.

I remember a woman from my wife's "mother's group" who found it hard to get on with the rest of them. She talked a lot, tended to barrel through conversations and always bring the topic around to being about herself or her interests.

Still, I got along with her for some reason. I just remember at all the picnics and get togethers that she was somehow drawn to me and would end up spending a lot of the event chatting to me. My wife even cracked a joke at one point that this woman must have had a little crush on me. For a little while I was slightly concerned she might be right.

Our families lost contact, as families do, but recently I took my eldest to a birthday party that her son also attended. While there, we got to talking and my son's diagnosis came up, at which point she revealed that her five kids are all on the spectrum. She even mentioned that she herself had trouble socialising as a kid in some of the same ways.

That's when it clicked.

It finally made sense why the other "mummies" in the group had found her overbearing and rude. It also made clear why she got along with me so well. She genuinely found it hard to relate to others in spite of her extroversion and with me she could at least talk to someone who didn't demand too much of her.