Haven't watched the special but I think there's something to be said about men earnestly reflecting on and reconciling with their behavior in a public manner vs. men who adamantly refuse to admit doing anything wrong and exercising their power to shut down any kind of dialogue that would suggest otherwise. And if there isn't, then there's really no point to any kind of rehabilitation or growth.ResetEra was founded for reasons that a lot of you seem willing to forgive right out the gate because you're horny for a guy that watched Bicycle Thief in film class.
Cool he reflect in jail instead of getting paid to do soHaven't watched the special but I think there's something to be said about men earnestly reflecting on and reconciling with their behavior in a public manner vs. men who adamantly refuse to admit doing anything wrong and exercising their power to shut down any kind of dialogue that would suggest otherwise. And if there isn't, then there's really no point to any kind of rehabilitation or growth.
Wow, he dived right in with that horrible date he had. Good guy. Glad to know he realizes he was a scumbag in that instance but can grow and move on.
I also love these Asian comics taking on "woke" people who don't know what the fuck they're talking about but want to defend us like we're not human fucking beings who can defend ourselves.
ResetEra was founded for reasons that a lot of you seem willing to forgive right out the gate because you're horny for a guy that watched Bicycle Thief in film class.
ResetEra was founded for reasons that a lot of you seem willing to forgive right out the gate because you're horny for a guy that watched Bicycle Thief in film class.
No it wasn't. Yours is a very feeble analogy.ResetEra was founded for reasons that a lot of you seem willing to forgive right out the gate because you're horny for a guy that watched Bicycle Thief in film class.
Thought this was fucking hilarious. Best standup I've seen since Chapelle last year.
But
I reeeaaalllllly didn't like the way he framed his controversy as a good thing because he and his buddies learnt from it. Seemed a little flip to me.
Regardless of that mischaracterisation, the fact remains that there was a woman at the centre of the situation who was left to feel upset and taken advantage of.A lot of people mischaracterise what happened and it perpuates a completely inaccurate picture of what happened. He went on a date with a girl, she felt he was pushy, but by her own admission he stopped as soon as she mentioned she wasn't interested anymore. He then had this intimate encounter shared to the world via a hack of a website called Babe.net who was just fishing for a story.
Anyways, felt the special was great and some of his best stuff.
You just accused people of mischaracterizing what happened, then mischaracterized it yourself.A lot of people mischaracterise what happened and it perpuates a completely inaccurate picture of what happened. He went on a date with a girl, she felt he was pushy, but by her own admission he stopped as soon as she mentioned she wasn't interested anymore. He then had this intimate encounter shared to the world via a hack of a website called Babe.net who was just fishing for a story.
Anyways, felt the special was great and some of his best stuff.
Regardless of that mischaracterisation, the fact remains that there was a woman at the centre of the situation who was left to feel upset and taken advantage of.
He acknowledged that, which is great. But going on to talk about the good that came out of it, and the conversations it started was a little on the nose for me.
You just accused people of mischaracterizing what happened, then mischaracterized it yourself.
This is a direct quote from the article:
"When Ansari told her he was going to grab a condom within minutes of their first kiss, Grace voiced her hesitation explicitly. "I said something like, 'Whoa, let's relax for a sec, let's chill.'"
All of the sexual activity happened AFTER that. So when you say "by her own admission he stopped as soon as she mentioned she wasn't interested anymore", that's total bullshit. She said she wasn't interested straight away.
Coercing someone into sexual activity isn't consent. Pressuring someone into consent isn't consent.
It's really fucked up the way some of you in this thread are minimizing what this man did.
Just because people deserve a second chance doesn't mean they automatically get one no matter how they address the situation.There comes a time when people will deserve second chances. If you can not accept that and can not process that then there are some deep rooted issues and there can be no progress. And sadly there seems to be a common belief among many that once someone makes a mistake they should literally be removed from the world never to be seen again and never to see the light of day. Now, I may be a kid from Jersey but that does not seem very progressive at all. Especially for a place that talks about how prisons need to be about rehabilitating and all of that. Kind of a mixed message. Alot of venom and alot of vitriol but that is the stuff of hate. People need to be able to learn from their mistakes , it is the only way the world is going to turn its shit around. If that is not the case then again there is a whole lot of mixed messages going on.
nah, you can fuck off back to old country
If he'd stopped after acknowledging the girl's pain, and hoping that he'd become a better person, that would have been great. The coda about helping other people learn things was unecessary.What other kind of response did you want?
I mean...he could've lost his entire career because of a hackjob from Babe.net and had intimate details of his sex life leaked to the public without his consent.
If you look at the chronology of the events:
- Aziz + Girl have a date --> Girl felt uncomfortable during the date & seemingly Aziz was unaware but backed off after she gave explicit verbal cues about wanting to leave
- Girl texts Aziz and he apologies the next day
- 1.5 years later, girl decides to share said story on babe.net, keeping her identity private, getting paid but exposing intimate details about his sex life that all his friends and family can read
- babe.net doesn't even bother to capture his account or POV
- 1.5 years later, there is still segment of people associating Aziz with actual predators like Louis CK
I mean, he could of understandably gone the other way and been really angry about the whole situation. He took a balanced approach, found some leanings (be more aware and vigilant of non-verbal cues) and incorporated the reflection into his material.
I feel like you're grossly misrepresenting what he says, as well as the overall tone of the entire special. You're basically allowing for no nuance at all in the situation, and while I don't think he says absolutely everything perfectly, it's abundantly clear that he's infinitely more thoughtful and considered now than in the past.Just because people deserve a second chance doesn't mean they automatically get one no matter how they address the situation.
When Aziz talks about this in his special, he keeps framing it in terms of how he felt and how he feels now. Doesn't really seem interested in how the woman felt or how women are impacted by things like this. And then he tries to frame it as an overall good thing because he has some equally shitty friends who say they learned something from it.
If that's what you come out saying, sorry, no second chance from me.
If he'd stopped after acknowledging the girl's pain, and hoping that he'd become a better person, that would have been great. The coda about helping other people learn things was unecessary.
It's clear that you're upset about the veracity of the original story, but that's got nothing to do with my disappointment with how he addressed it.
I'm not stringing him up, I just think he could have handled it more deftly.
"At least he isn't Louis CK" isn't really an acceptable standard to me.I feel like you're grossly misrepresenting what he says, as well as the overall tone of the entire special. You're basically allowing for no nuance at all in the situation, and while I don't think he says absolutely everything perfectly, it's abundantly clear that he's infinitely more thoughtful and considered now than in the past.
Maybe that's not enough for you, and that's fine, but when you compare his behaviour and sentiment here with those displayed by other men who have been similarly called out on their shitty behaviour, I think he is closer to an example to follow than avoid.
Fair enough. I think we're both on the same side here. I'm all for Aziz getting a second chance and he certainly seemed contemplative. I don't think he quite stuck the landing like you do, but that's cool.I think it's unrealistic to handle this situation 'perfectly'. I imagine he was angry, upset and bunch of different emotions because of the article. He basically had a gun pointed at his entire career. All things considered, he put out a pretty mature response.
And it hopefully made all men reflect on their behaviour. But nobody else came forward to expose a pattern of behaviour.
I'll admit that was poorly worded but you're being reductive again. My point is that those men who have had a spotlight placed on them for indiscretion, abuse, harassment or whatever else, are going to be in the public eye again, no matter how much people might want them to disappear forever. With that in mind, Ansari's sentiment is on the right side of things. It might not be all the way to an exemplar of the right side, but it's much more right than wrong."At least he isn't Louis CK" isn't really an acceptable standard to me.
I remember Ansari being thoughtful in Master of None when it came to women's experience. Then he kept pushing a woman to give him a blow job and was trying to fuck like he was in a porno all while not reading a woman's discomfort. So pardon me if thinking I doubt any sincerity coming from the man
Also no other people came out because the whole thing turned into a victim blame session.
Or maybe there wasn't any other very bad behaviour of him like that one.
His account was that it all appeared consensual and this is sort of corroborated by her account despite how she was feeling. She had consensually engaged in oral sex at the beginning of the date, she wasn't threatened physically or professionally or held against her will. Plus the article isn't great - complaining about wine choice, kink-shaming "the claw", ridiculing him by calling him a horny 18 year old. Like, even the title of the article - my date with Ansari was "the worst night of my life" - really? She is an adult who was free to leave at any point, there was no power imbalance in their relationship. His persistent behaviour was inappropriate and deserved flagging, which he has accepted. What more should he do?
I didn't watch the special but based in the A.V. Club review it seems like he could do a lot more introspection.
You are absolutely defending him, yes.His account was that it all appeared consensual and this is sort of corroborated by her account despite how she was feeling. She had consensually engaged in oral sex at the beginning of the date, she wasn't threatened physically or professionally or held against her will. Plus the article isn't great - complaining about wine choice, kink-shaming "the claw", ridiculing him by calling him a horny 18 year old. Like, even the title of the article - my date with Ansari was "the worst night of my life" - really? She is an adult who was free to leave at any point, there was no power imbalance in their relationship. His persistent behaviour was inappropriate and deserved flagging, which he has accepted... I'm not defending a guy stalking his date around his apartment pestering for sex when she has refused. That's gross, borderline behaviour. But it's somewhat a he-said-she-said so... what more should he do?