hell I'm pretty sure I have $20 brandname jeans in my dresser that I've had for 10+ years and the only visible damage is at the cuffs
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Being old and realizing if you mess up it's over
- Thread starter LexingtonKruger
- Start date
OP
OP
I am going to try a new medication in a few weeks.
I was writing about my past and then I realized my bulimia was probably a form of OCD, and then I realized all my irrational thoughts are probably obsessional thoughts. So I think I have OCD.
I took a test to see if I have ADHD and the test confirmed I do.
So now I have to figure out meds for both of those, and hopefully this will change my Outlook a little.
I was writing about my past and then I realized my bulimia was probably a form of OCD, and then I realized all my irrational thoughts are probably obsessional thoughts. So I think I have OCD.
I took a test to see if I have ADHD and the test confirmed I do.
So now I have to figure out meds for both of those, and hopefully this will change my Outlook a little.
oh so you're in NY. Then you definitely qualify for free health insurance. Please see a doctor and a counselor.
edit: good to see that you're going to try some meds. See how you feel after them and if it's not quite right, tell your doctor and change doses/meds until these obsessive and delusional thoughts calm down. Then therapy with a counselor will be much more effective
I have one pair of Levi jeans that I bought for $40 that has last me for 2 years and counting. I only own one pair. $100 seems a lot to spend if you are trying to save money.
in either case, don't listen to the advice that your life is over if you fail school. You're reasonably healthy.. able bodied. You have options.
in either case, don't listen to the advice that your life is over if you fail school. You're reasonably healthy.. able bodied. You have options.
I was also wondering the same.. Like if you're in poverty I don't understand spending that much on jeans AT ALL. Like I make a lot more and I rarely, if ever, buy jeans when they're not on sale, and at Target their jeans are like ~30-40$? Do you not have a Goodwill or similar thrift store nearby?
I was actually in a very similar situation at 27. Was pissing my life away up to that point. Then decided to change things around. Went to a tech school full-time while working two jobs. Fucking sucked, but things have turned around completely since then. Things can definitely turn around for you.
OP
OP
My last bio professor said I should go premed but I think I'll die trying to balance work and school.
If I can just hold on for one more year I'll apply to live on campus.
OP
OP
Yeah I think I started school at 28.
I had planned on killing myself at 27. I planned it for five years so I was pretty sure I was going to die.
Then I met someone who said I should try school so I'm giving it one more shot.
I work a 37.5 and was going to school M-W until about 10 at night. Brutal schedule but you need to push through.
You can get $20 jeans from Hollister.
The OP remains me of this
Good luck, OP.
Eating nothing but junk food is probably making you miserable.
And no there's no excuse. Simple healthy meals can absolutely be cheaper and easier. Idk where you're buying rice, but you should be able to get a months supply for like 50 bucks tops. Same with beans. Throw in vegetables and some occasional meat and you got all you need to survive and be a lot healthier than eating junk food instead. Being healthier will give you a more positive outlook too cause you won't feel physically shit all the time.
And no there's no excuse. Simple healthy meals can absolutely be cheaper and easier. Idk where you're buying rice, but you should be able to get a months supply for like 50 bucks tops. Same with beans. Throw in vegetables and some occasional meat and you got all you need to survive and be a lot healthier than eating junk food instead. Being healthier will give you a more positive outlook too cause you won't feel physically shit all the time.
OP, You are the same guy that was asking for help in the Biology class. I have seen all your threads and it's about depression and killing yourself. You need to stop giving into the negativity.
This. I got my first professional job at 26 (which I thought was "getting old") and I am one of the youngest in the office. I'm 28 now and still one of the youngest.
Late 20's not old.
Why are you spending 100 on jeans when you can get them at a thrift store for 5-10% of that price?
If you're single, 30k a year is livable.
Stop eating so much junk food. Bananas and carrots are cheap as fuck.
Why are you spending 100 on jeans when you can get them at a thrift store for 5-10% of that price?
If you're single, 30k a year is livable.
Stop eating so much junk food. Bananas and carrots are cheap as fuck.
You aren't old. I'm 43 and have messed up plenty in my life and have worked a shitty job even though I have an excellent education. Life is full of ups and downs, you have to learn how to deal with them, ride out the lows and try and capitalize on the highs. Getting help for your depression is the first step. That and maybe a trip to a grocery store and a TJ Maxx type store.
And your friend sounds horrible.
And your friend sounds horrible.
Yeah I get that. I wouldn't say I'm good at cooking so it wasn't really advice on that. My advice was more about minimum time, effort and expense to eat something healthy.
Like I said it takes like 5 minutes to open the packet, shake some basic seasoning on it and toss it in the oven. The rest is just waiting. So even if it feels like work to cook, you only have to bear it for a few minute in reality.
Like I said above, you can find simple things to cook that are still healthy. The chicken meal I described hardly takes any time or effort. You can even buy vegetable packets that you can microwave. It sucks that you cook for work and that makes cooking for yourself undesirable but you should take care of yourself and at least go for the easiest way to be healthy.
Bruh I shop at good will almost exclusively. If you can get 100 pants, and think you arent able to cook and do better for yourself you need to talk to someone about self worth. You aren't old and you are going back to school. That's more than I ever did. I didn't finish school and I ended up getting my shit together and a managibly paying job. It just takes take, which by your age you have plenty of time to get things on track. I highly suggest getting a professional though to talk to, it could really help. I know many are expensive but you have to just look around. It took my wife and I a while but we found a counselor for 30 dollars a session. Instead of a therapist that was 120 a session
Try to find an overnight gig as a night auditor for a hotel if you are trying to go to school at the same time. The work's not terribly hard, gives you plenty of time for studying, etc. Only downside can be the boredom. It will literally be hours of nothing to do but be present in case a phone rings.
Just take it a day at a time and don't worry too much about the future. Things will pan out regardless - even when things look dire there is always a corner to be turned. Just work hard and as long as you give it 100% that's enough. Leave the rest of it in the lap of the gods.
OP
OP
I will look into a night auditor job thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah my friend is turning 35 and is trying to go back.
This is what I will try to do.
It's constantly so intense that I get overwhelmed.
That's a bad friend.
Also, what's with the 30 limit/wall? What happens after 30 that makes it impossible to start over?
I don't want to be like your friend, in love with their own hero's journey and all, but please don't write yourself off at 30.
At 30 I was in a horrible, abusive marriage and thought I'd die making $10 an hour in foodservice. I've turned things around by 40 after a divorce, some promotions and certifications.
You can totally better yourself if you give yourself a chance. It will be hard, and not everyone is starting from the same place. Some folks are at 0, some folks start with an advantage, and some a disadvantage. It isn't fair but it is what it is, and no progress can happen without trying.
Please don't give up. It seems like you are making an effort by seeking help, which is awesome.
At 30 I was in a horrible, abusive marriage and thought I'd die making $10 an hour in foodservice. I've turned things around by 40 after a divorce, some promotions and certifications.
You can totally better yourself if you give yourself a chance. It will be hard, and not everyone is starting from the same place. Some folks are at 0, some folks start with an advantage, and some a disadvantage. It isn't fair but it is what it is, and no progress can happen without trying.
Please don't give up. It seems like you are making an effort by seeking help, which is awesome.
User Banned (3 Days): Antagonizing another member in a sensitive thread
You sound depressed, glad you're trying to address that.
I'm sorry your job is not fulfilling but you can live on 30,000 if you make good choices. My wife and I lived on 18,000 a year for many years in grad school and still came out with savings.
Please eat better and cheaper by buying food and preparing it at home. This whole thing you have about cooking is a rationalization of your self-harmful behaviour. I rarely "cook" anything, but I eat fairly healthy and most of my meals are made at home. Trader Joe's and Costco both have lots of decent things you can make without breaking out the pots and pans.
Also, you're not old yet so stop making your age some arbitrary point of no return.
I'm sorry your job is not fulfilling but you can live on 30,000 if you make good choices. My wife and I lived on 18,000 a year for many years in grad school and still came out with savings.
Please eat better and cheaper by buying food and preparing it at home. This whole thing you have about cooking is a rationalization of your self-harmful behaviour. I rarely "cook" anything, but I eat fairly healthy and most of my meals are made at home. Trader Joe's and Costco both have lots of decent things you can make without breaking out the pots and pans.
Also, you're not old yet so stop making your age some arbitrary point of no return.
Yea I can definitely recommend a couple of books on frugal living. Just some simple changes people can make to save a lot of money. A lot of every day needs that anyone can easily DIY.
All of this and believe in yourself. If you don't, everything else is going to sound like excuses to not do better.
No one is going to get things done for you. You are your worst enemy if you want it to be.
This. That ain't a good friend and it sounds like the blind leading the blind. You don't need a degree to make money. When I was near 30 my wages were shit as well.
Keep grinding. Things can improve. Don't compare yourself to other mofos situations. That shit will Gaslight you bad. Have you thinking you need to be exactly where they are to be "good enough". That type of thinking is toxic. Don't fall for it.
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Fucking hell, everyone zeroing in on how much money the OP spends on fucking trousers like it's even close to the most important thing about the post. OP is clearly struggling with mental health (based on other threads here in addition to the OP), but people are lining up to critique him for spending however much on jeans? Way to miss the fucking point, guys.
OP, as I said in the MH OT, you are never too old to change your circumstances and the fact that you're in school, working your ass off and crushing the classes that you say are super-difficult shows that you can do it, and that you are doing it. So keep on keeping on, focus on what you're achieving and what you stand to gain from sticking it out and seeing this through, rather than worrying about the possible consequences of any potential failure. It's really, really hard to do this when you're in a negative headspace but if you need encouragement along the way then please do keep posting on here because we can see that you're doing well, even if you can't always see it yourself. You have got this.
OP, as I said in the MH OT, you are never too old to change your circumstances and the fact that you're in school, working your ass off and crushing the classes that you say are super-difficult shows that you can do it, and that you are doing it. So keep on keeping on, focus on what you're achieving and what you stand to gain from sticking it out and seeing this through, rather than worrying about the possible consequences of any potential failure. It's really, really hard to do this when you're in a negative headspace but if you need encouragement along the way then please do keep posting on here because we can see that you're doing well, even if you can't always see it yourself. You have got this.
I went to college but switched career at 32 from an achitect to a photographer/videographer, find your passion and go for it. Don't go to college thinking it will translate to better jobs just because. A better life is not making more money it's enjoying what you do everyday
Money problems can definitely contribute to and worsen mental illness.
Yeah, of course, but the focus here on the jeans spending is far too narrow and just not helpful.
I was kinda with you until you said "I am almost thirty..." I didn't get into my desired career until I turned 27, before that I was doing retail jobs and then non-game software testing (which isn't a fun job). Then after working at a job I loved for 12 years, I had to leave and find other work, and ended up moving across the country to make it work. A lot of people have career changes even in their 40's and 50's. Myself I am in my 40's now and I'm trying to completely change my career by starting my own company (no, I don't have money or resources to do so, which is what makes it challenging). If I mess things up (highly likely, 9 out of 10 startups fail), I'll probably suffer for a time, and then find something new to do.
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Wow. I was expecting you to be 50 years old with a mortgage and several dependants, struggling with the idea that losing your job would cause your whole life to come crumbling down.
Don't worry, man. You are enough to start over fresh a couple more times if you need to. There are always options out there.
Don't worry, man. You are enough to start over fresh a couple more times if you need to. There are always options out there.
You're younger than me and make twice what I make. I went back to school and just finished, looking for a job. Even without school its not impossible to find a higher paying job since $30k/year is like $15/hour.
Also 30 isn't old, and you can improve your life at any age. At my minimum wage job I'm the youngest person there at 33.
1. Pick up your "friend"
2. Stuff her in the trash
3. Study, eat and sleep well through college.
2. Stuff her in the trash
3. Study, eat and sleep well through college.
Sounds like you should move to a cheaper area. I make less then that and live comfortably. Don't think going to school would be worth it for me. I would rather make less then have student loans and years of my life taken up by school.
Seek actual professional help. You're engaging in catastrophic, non-reality based thinking. Don't just get meds from your GP after self-diagnosing, actually go see a psychologist and therapist and work on both your mental illness and your entirely controllable bad thought processes. The idea that thirty is some sort of cutoff point for your future is ridiculous and has no bearing on the actual world. The problems are in your head, not in the world around you, and until you deal with them, nothing is going to make you happy.
I went back to uni at 29. It felt like a pretty reckless thing at the time—I already had a degree in Computer Science but I couldn't see myself in that career any longer. I quit my job and took a BA in English because it's what I'm passionate about, despite the fact everyone warns you about non-STEM subjects. I told myself I'd take it a step at a time—give myself a couple of years as a reward for suffering through a bad job. When that went well, I took the next step and did an MA. Then I got paid through a PhD. I'm in academia and things are still precarious but taking everything a step at a time is working out well. I've been offered a postdoc position and am awaiting results on the funding. If that falls through I know I have other options.
Take your time and enjoy your studies. It's natural to feel anxious about making life changes but your mind is blowing the circumstances way out of proportion.
Take your time and enjoy your studies. It's natural to feel anxious about making life changes but your mind is blowing the circumstances way out of proportion.
She had people telling her to kill herself if she failed?
Perhaps it's time to cut this friend out of your life. The facts are that for the most part, people become successful through having positive support in their life, not people who drag them down.
I don't know why your friend is saying the things she does, but if she gets upset like this around you a lot then maybe she's not in a good place herself and her success as a lawyer doesn't necessarily mean that she can't be feeling bad about herself. She probably had some positive support in some form back when she was starting out her law career and schooling.
To start, you're not old.
Second, if you want, check my Steam profile, it's in my profile here. I'll gift you a game that helped me climb out of a bad depression a few years ago.
Second, if you want, check my Steam profile, it's in my profile here. I'll gift you a game that helped me climb out of a bad depression a few years ago.
She is blinded by survivorship bias. Find people that are actually supportive and dont gaslight you.