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Dec 21, 2017
1,225
Short version: I need to pass a test.

I have a book, courses on the matter, practice tests, and a bachelor's degree on the subject. I was studying for this test, but failing it 4x after months of study when you can pass it with 3 weeks of study if you know nothing means only one thing: I'm a FUCKING GODDAMN MORON.

I'm sick of being a dumb, ignorant, piece of filth. No matter how hard I study, I fail. I'm sick of it. Reading the material, passing the practice tests, taking notes and doing what is needed to pass the test to fail the test just to fail it only reinforces my worthlessness overall. The basic test taking strategies do me no good in this position either. Is there any hope for someone as intelligence deficient as myself?
 

Pelicano

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
865
I mean why did you fail the past 4 times? Where were you failing during the test? I'd evaluate and focus on those aspects.
 

Finale Fireworker

Love each other or die trying.
Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,710
United States
First of all, you're being much too hard on yourself. Everybody is always learning. There is no limit to the things you can learn. We are all idiots to our future selves. Having difficulty learning does not make you dumb. I failed out of my first year of school. Sometimes it takes a lot to get you over a hump. It took me six years to get my four year degree.

What is the subject you are struggling with?
 

Masoyama

Attempted to circumvent a ban with an alt account
Banned
Oct 27, 2017
5,648
How did you get a bachellors but failed the test 4 times already? What is this test?
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral
Dec 21, 2017
1,225
First of all, you're being much too hard on yourself. Everybody is always learning. There is no limit to the things you can learn. We are all idiots to our future selves. Having difficulty learning does not make you dumb. I failed out of my first year of school. Sometimes it takes a lot to get you over a hump. It took me six years to get my four year degree.

What is the subject you are struggling with?
I have absolutely NOT been too hard on myself. After four months to spend on a three week test and repeatedly failing, i've been FAR too easy on myself! I've sacrificed everything until I pass these exams. You're ignorant if you think I deserve a single thing until I pass. I don't. My difficulties are, again, four months for a three week exam and YES it does make ME dumb. The question is what's the best punishment for failing?


How did you get a bachellors but failed the test 4 times already? What is this test?
It's the Network+. Entry Level Cert, but the answer is I'M FUCKING RETARDED!
 

plngsplsh

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,142
Don't tell yourself that you are a moron, it hurts the part of yourself that has to do all of the work - sometimes so much that it won't do anything. EDIT: Be forgiving and kind to yourself. The way you talk to us shows that you are able to do so. Treat yourself as you want others to treat yourself.

Ask yourself: What made this thing interesting for me in the first place? Then delve in this interest.

Don't despise your failures, listen and learn from them.

Take a good hard look at the concept of failure and see that it's not that black hole that you thing it is.
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral
Dec 21, 2017
1,225
Don't tell yourself that you are a moron, it hurts the part of yourself that has to do all of the work - sometimes so much that it won't do anything.

Ask yourself: What made this thing interesting for me in the first place? Then delve in this interest.

Don't despise your failures, listen and learn from them.

Take a good hard look at the concept of failure and see that it's not that black hole that you th,ing it is.

Absolutely not. I am. It's something I need to live down and accept so I can maybe move forward. Nothing made it interesting. It's not interesting at all, but it's the cert I need to get past to get to the stuff I may want to do - But If i can't get past THIS, i'd rather slit my own throat. I do despise my failures. I'm absolutely nothing more than a failure of a human being and I won't be anything more unless I can make it past this . It IS The black hole because the alternative is me slitting my own throat as the lesser of two evils.
 

Deleted member 8752

User requested account closure
Banned
Oct 26, 2017
10,122
First off, good on you for asking this question. We all fail tests - it happens. Don't be hard on yourself.

Secondly - there are different types of learners out there. Some learn better from written material. Others learn better from audio. Some need visual stimuli and diagrams to learn things. Others need flash cards. Others need to take notes and continuously re-write them over and over to drill things into their heads.

Chances are, you have been trying to memorize using the incorrect learning method for your personal strengths. If you're not learning through one method, it may be helpful to switch it up and try another.
 

plngsplsh

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,142
Absolutely not. I am. It's something I need to live down and accept so I can maybe move forward. Nothing made it interesting. It's not interesting at all, but it's the cert I need to get past to get to the stuff I may want to do - But If i can't get past THIS, i'd rather slit my own throat. I do despise my failures. I'm absolutely nothing more than a failure of a human being and I won't be anything more unless I can make it past this . It IS The black hole because the alternative is me slitting my own throat as the lesser of two evils.
Why would you rather slit your throat than not pass this test?
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral
Dec 21, 2017
1,225
Why would you rather slit your throat than not pass this test?
In between the degree and now, i've worked at a Help Desk. Before then, i had spent my life working at Walmart and abhorring it because FUCK, I hate people.

Without it, at best, my entire life amounts to nothing more than assisting people who may or may not know where the start button is on thier computer. Helping Drunk Drivers with thier car issues might as well be more productive. Been there, done that. I've spent the bulk of my last help desk job wanting to slit my throat 40x a day rather than take another call. Not having one means i'll go back to that with a knife ready for the throat and a fork ready for the electrical socket.
 

crimsonred

Member
Oct 27, 2017
202
I have absolutely NOT been too hard on myself. After four months to spend on a three week test and repeatedly failing, i've been FAR too easy on myself! I've sacrificed everything until I pass these exams. You're ignorant if you think I deserve a single thing until I pass. I don't. My difficulties are, again, four months for a three week exam and YES it does make ME dumb. The question is what's the best punishment for failing?



It's the Network+. Entry Level Cert, but the answer is I'M FUCKING RETARDED!


Incorrect. I have failed every cert test I have ever taken. I have failed the following:

A+
Network +
Security +
EMCSA (This one costs 5000 dollars for a course that is over 30 hours of extremely dense material that is only specific to one very arcane product and I believe 500 for the test that an entire team of people was waiting for me to complete)
EMCBA

Expensive yes but I come back and figure it out on the second time. You will be fine. I have a BS as well in IT and I feel like I am a total idiot sometimes too. You are not though. Network + is a HUGE subject matter to quiz you on in 70+ questions.

Focus on your weakness take lots of practices test and you will get through.

Currently struggling on Security + after getting much more complicated certs. Just keep working on it.
 

Ashlette

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,254
You are not dumb. You need to find your weak spots knowledge-wise and focus on them.

Or better yet, ask for tips from people who passed that exam. They can lead you to the right way.
 

plngsplsh

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,142
In between the degree and now, i've worked at a Help Desk. Before then, i had spent my life working at Walmart and abhorring it because FUCK, I hate people.

Without it, at best, my entire life amounts to nothing more than assisting people who may or may not know where the start button is on thier computer. Helping Drunk Drivers with thier car issues might as well be more productive. Been there, done that. I've spent the bulk of my last help desk job wanting to slit my throat 40x a day rather than take another call. Not having one means i'll go back to that with a knife ready for the throat and a fork ready for the electrical socket.
I think I know that feeling. Being stuck inside a job that you despise at every level, not only finding the actual work unbearable, but also the co-workers, the commute; and all that without a proper prospect of getting out of that situation.

What would you do with your life, if you didn't need to have a job to earn a living? (Sorry, if I'm too curious.)
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral
Dec 21, 2017
1,225
I think I know that feeling. Being stuck inside a job that you despise at every level, not only finding the actual work unbearable, but also the co-workers, the commute; and all that without a proper prospect of getting out of that situation.

What would you do with your life, if you didn't need to have a job to earn a living? (Sorry, if I'm too curious.)

I'd be dead. All I want out of life is to DIE. I'm sick of life and ready for it to end. It's an absolute waste of my time and I don't care enough to waste any of it. I'd rather just end it and call it a day.
 

Chasex

Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,691
I have absolutely NOT been too hard on myself. After four months to spend on a three week test and repeatedly failing, i've been FAR too easy on myself! I've sacrificed everything until I pass these exams. You're ignorant if you think I deserve a single thing until I pass. I don't. My difficulties are, again, four months for a three week exam and YES it does make ME dumb. The question is what's the best punishment for failing?



It's the Network+. Entry Level Cert, but the answer is I'M FUCKING RETARDED!

I can help you with Net+ if you'd like. We can hop onto a discord server and talk through it maybe? I am a cybersecurity consultant and been in the industry for a while now, so definitely qualified to help and would be willing to do so. PM me if you want.
 

plngsplsh

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,142
I'd be dead. All I want out of life is to DIE. I'm sick of life and ready for it to end. It's an absolute waste of my time and I don't care enough to waste any of it. I'd rather just end it and call it a day.
Life is harsh and sometimes one thinks that dying wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen. Nevertheless, life is also fantastic and wonderful. As an example, look at this thing going on right now. I'm sitting in my cold room in the sleaziest part of town, freezing slightly and typing on a cheap keyboard, communicating with someone that I've never met. There's some ingenuity in it that one can't deny.
Is there nothing that amazes you - at least from time to time?

Also, to get back to your question on how to best learn: Don't treat your subject like it's uninteresting, not worth the attention and just there to get to another thing. There must be something interesting about it.
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral
Dec 21, 2017
1,225
User Banned (2 Weeks): Hostility toward another member, abelist language in a previous post.
Die in a fire

Life is harsh and sometimes one thinks that dying wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen. Nevertheless, life is also fantastic and wonderful. As an example, look at this thing going on right now. I'm sitting in my cold room in the sleaziest part of town, freezing slightly and typing on a cheap keyboard, communicating with someone that I've never met. There's some ingenuity in it that one can't deny.
Is there nothing that amazes you - at least from time to time?

Also, to get back to your question on how to best learn: Don't treat your subject like it's uninteresting, not worth the attention and just there to get to another thing. There must be something interesting about it.
ABSOLUTELY NOT, Dying is the BEST thing that can happen. Living is the absolute fucking WORST. Nothing amazes me and the subject IS uninteresting, I ONLY need it to get to the Sec+ to get to the CISSP. Nothing more, nothing less although this has shown me my inadequacies I need to correct or die trying.
 

plngsplsh

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,142
Die in a fire


ABSOLUTELY NOT, Dying is the BEST thing that can happen. Living is the absolute fucking WORST. Nothing amazes me and the subject IS uninteresting, I ONLY need it to get to the Sec+ to get to the CISSP. Nothing more, nothing less although this has shown me my inadequacies I need to correct or die trying.
So, it isn't actually life that is the worst, but not passing that test of yours? Or do I misunderstand you?
 

Chasex

Member
Oct 29, 2017
1,691

Yikes, I mean I was offering to literally tutor the OP, but not sure what to make of this now...

edit: GARlock, you do not need the Net+ to get the Sec+. If you're interested in security then switch gears now and forget the damn Net+. And if you think Net+ is difficult... the CISSP is an absolute monster. Unless you have a position in the industry for at least 2-3 years I would not even begin to look at it. Remove it from your mind entirely.
 
OP
OP
GARlock Spiral
Dec 21, 2017
1,225
So, it isn't actually life that is the worst, but not passing that test of yours? Or do I misunderstand you?
I'm a worthless piece of shit who would be worth something by passing the test. By not passing, i'm about as valuable as what you do on the toilet. Life vs Life not passing is the same for me.

Garlock, it's good to see you reaching out for advice man, but you might want to rein it in several notches if you want to get something out of it, yeah?

Tutors aren't helping if the problem in the learning process is me. I apologize for snapping, but there are other exams I need to take, and I need to figure out my problems otherwise, i'm going to be stuck ANOTHER 3+ months on the Security+, and that's more time a worthless POS like me should spend on it. Let alone the CISSP, but I guess i should just quit while i'm ahead.
 

PtM

Banned
Dec 7, 2017
3,582
ABSOLUTELY NOT, Dying is the BEST thing that can happen. Living is the absolute fucking WORST.
It's better than nothing. There is nothing in death.

I have the feeling that you being down on yourself hampers your learning.
Maybe you need to take it more slowly and first get yourself in a even slightly better position to tackle this bigger beast. To hell with whatever metrics devalue you, it's done when it's done.
 
Last edited:

ColdSun

Together, we are strangers
Administrator
Oct 25, 2017
3,290
While we encourage our members to be supportive when someone is asking for help, that does not mean that they need to deal with hostilty and insults when they try to do so constructively. Our General Guidelines and ToS apply at all times. Given that the OP is now banned, we are locking the thread.
 
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