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Biggest red flags you've gotten on a date?

Mulciber

Mulciber

Member
Aug 22, 2018
5,217
Sit down at the restaurant. About 15 minutes in she says, in a whisper, "It's getting dark in here..."

*Me, looking around, noticing no change at all in the lighting.* "What?"

"It's getting dark in here..."

"I...didn't notice. I don't think they dimmed the lights?"

"No, I mean there's starting to be a lot of black people in here."

I was so caught off guard and flustered that I didn't even manage say actual intelligible sentences. I'm sure I said something like "I...I don't...you...but...I....why does that..."

Today, many years later, I'd just immediately say "Oh, fuck off" and walk out; she can deal with the check.
 
Hero

Hero

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,783
There are some crazy stories in this thread but some of you citing stuff like "She said she didn't like comedy." is lowkey petty AF and not worthy of red flag status at all. Maybe they've only seen bad comedy, that's your opportunity to show them your interests and favorites.

PlanetSmasher said:
I haven't had a lot of RED FLAG dates, but I had one date one time where a girl I was having dinner with asked me what kind of music inspired me and I explained how the Final Fantasy VI soundtrack coming out when I was eight years old was what got me interested in orchestral music, opera and eventually musical theatre.

I figured that since she was a professional musician, she'd at least understand where I was coming from, but her response was just a deadpan, low-energy "oh". The rest of the date went downhill from there.
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100% chance that this girl tells her version of this story to her friends when they talk about bad dates. "This guy cited a video game from the 90's as their musical inspiration lmao."
 

Deleted member 51103

User requested account closure
Banned
Dec 20, 2018
174
Portland, Oregon
FeistyBoots said:
Asexuals exist. You're making a lot of unfounded assumptive judgements about what's healthy in a relationship.
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My original comment:

> "I'm not interested anymore." "Why?" "I want a relationship with sex." "But I told you..." Crying. Betrayed. What a mess.

> Take people at their word. If that is how the person feels then that is how they feel.

Thanks for the feedback, I should have been more explicit here. I was trying to specifically point out how an asexual person would feel if you did not take them at their word and believe them when they said "I am not interested in sex" and instead took that as a "test" to get past.
 
PlanetSmasher

PlanetSmasher

The Abominable Showman
Member
Oct 25, 2017
115,669
Hero said:
100% chance that this girl tells her version of this story to her friends when they talk about bad dates. "This guy cited a video game from the 90's as their musical inspiration lmao."
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Probably, yeah. But honestly, I really don't care that much. If you enjoy music it shouldn't matter how you got there, y'know? I pretty much immediately jumped from talking about that to talking about Wagner.

Everyone is someone's bad date.
 

Deleted member 33533

Banned
Nov 17, 2017
12,864
Sinder said:
Girl I'd been friends with for over a year in an on/off relationship with her boyfriend tried to fuck me one night we were both kind of drunk and told me she'd been thinking about it for months, I told her I felt the same way but that she had to break it off with her bf before we get into any fwb thing since I knew the guy. We ended up making out and cuddling and stuff but I think she was extremely pissed I wouldn't have sex with her because the very next day she tried to backpedal everything she said and said "that can't ever happen again", and tried to play it off like a drunken mistake (it wasn't, we'd been hanging out one on one for a long time prior). We've barely hung out in the 4+ months since then.

Doesn't quite fit the criteria of the OP but I basically found out this girl is a split personality psychopath over a couple of days when I actually kind of liked her for an entire year before that.
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I don't really get how she has a split personality or is a psycopath from this story? It sounds like she was drunk and liked you so she tried hooking up with you and then regretted it the next morning. Even if you didn't end up having sex you still made out and stuff (I don't exactly get why you wouldn't have sex with her until she dumped her BF since you knew him but were perfectly ok with making out with her and stuff) so she definitely could've rationally woke up the next morning regretting that she cheated on her boyfriend. Just because she liked you and had been thinking about it for months doesn't mean that actually telling you this and going for it wasn't a drunken mistake.
 

Barrin

Member
Dec 12, 2017
254
Wow, that Simba story is hilarious. This puts me playing the Mario theme on a guy's ass during sex to shame.

Worst red flag I had was a guy telling me that he thinks he could love me within the first 30 minutes of meeting. I was dumb and lonely at the time so I didn't end the date there and I wish I had. Tried dating the guy for a few months and he was horrible. His family had money from a dealership chain they owned so he acted like he was better than everyone because of it and tried to act superior constantly because he had a psych degree. He tried messaging me for months after on a dozen different numbers that I just kept blocking.
 
Dre3001

Dre3001

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,853
Had a dinner and drinks date with a girl off a dating app. Both went well and at the end of the date before we left she said she had to admit something.

She admit that she currently had a BF and they had been in a relationship for almost 3 months. She said the "honeymoon" period ended and she was planning on breaking up with him but wanted to "see what was out there first". I asked if he knew about this and she said she told him it was "girls night out".

Needless to say that was the last time I spoke with her.
 
Horns

Horns

Member
Dec 7, 2018
2,529
Well over 15 years ago I took a very attractive 18 year old out. I was 23 at the time and we went to a billiards to play pool. The night kicked off when she showed me all the medications she took for her mental health issues. Even showing me the pills she had to take on very bad days. By the end of the date she was accusing me of putting something in her drink because she was tired, I didn't obviously. She had her friend pick her up. A week later she called asking if she could come over to watch a movie with me and why I didn't call her. I noped the fuck out of every meeting her again.
 
Christian

Christian

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,636
Ricky Ricardo said:
You know, this board really does have a problem with people not being at all interested in anal-lingus.
Is it really that difficult to imagine that some of us aren't down or are you all just super into clowning us?
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When you've already got hepatitis C, why worry?!

Okabe said:
Alright uh

Date ended with Sex and uh when it was finished she took my Finishings and wiped it on my forehead looked me dead in the eyes and said Simba
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So, like, where did you finish?
 
VorpalNonsense

VorpalNonsense

Member
Oct 25, 2017
14,650
Not a date but still a red flag.

Had a fling with this chick in the past but that was old news at this point and we were just chilling. She'd picked up a boyfriend she'd talked a bunch about recently but there were no concerns since we weren't up to anything.
And then she shows up one night wearing an uncharacteristically tight low cut tank top, sits real close and as casually as she can manage slips into conversation how it's so "funny" how intensely horny she is right now.

I was just straight up with her and told her I get it but I'm not touching that while she's still attached. She literally had no response to that, just pretended like the last few sentences never happened.

That's when I knew her dude was doomed and this chick was bad news. I got your back dudes, I don't play that game.
 
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Golden

Golden

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Dec 9, 2018
928
Midnight Jon said:
...so were those dingens posts on the last page just an elaborate troll attempt or did my guy actually think The Continent, which has literally spent the last 6 years absolutely losing its goddamn mind over levantine refugees, doesn't have a racism problem?

(also the last time i went on a date with someone who isn't currently my partner which actually had red flags was like 7 years ago)
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I don't think that they were denying racism exists in Europe. They were objecting to the idea of classifying humans into different races (there is little scientific basis for it).
 
Canucked

Canucked

Comics Council 2020 & Chicken Chaser
Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,416
Canada
I went on a date with someone who went out of their way to tell me they were once skinny and would be again and that I absolutely shouldn't worry. Multiple times.

I really didn't find their weight unattractive and would never care what someone's body was like as a teen.
 
wwm0nkey

wwm0nkey

Member
Oct 25, 2017
15,574
srtrestre said:
Went on a date with an anime-obsessed girl once, and it was one of the most bizarre experiences I've ever had. She'd constantly throw in random Japanese words during our conversation, so I had to keep asking her what she meant (she's not Japanese, and doesn't actually speak Japanese fluently.) She had also adopted all these cliche anime mannerisms, and she kept doing them ALL. THE. TIME. You know the ones:

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My wife does this shit to make me cringe (it works) but I have seen people unironiclly do that stuff and it hurts my soul.
 
Piston

Piston

Member
Oct 25, 2017
11,165
This isn't a crazy story or anything, but it was by far my worst date:

I *think* this was a Coffee Meets Bagel match. I talked with this girl for a bit and it wasn't exactly lightning in a bottle but our convo and her profile were enough for me to ask her out on a quick lunch date.

The first warning sign was that it was like pulling teeth to get her to agree on where to go, I think we ended up picking a local Mexican place. We agree to meet at the restaurant and I get there about 5 minutes early to find her waiting outside already; she had been there for 30 minutes because she told me she was nervous. She didn't look much like her profile, the photos were probably a few years out of date at best because she had some full body photos that showed a completely different figure. I give her my customary light one-arm hug greeting and try to make a few jokes to lighten the mood and I get nothing back in response.

We get seated by a waiter and I try to start up some basic first date conversation topics like "where are you from?", "do you have siblings?", etc. and again I get NO RESPONSE. She literally just sits there quietly staring down at the table. She glanced up occasionally when I tried talking and I think I eventually got her to speak words again once we ordered food. The next 30 minutes were some of the most awkward minutes I've ever had in my life, I think the only topic I got more than a sentence out of her was about Harry Potter. She never asked me questions or tried to initiate conversation. She also didn't touch her food or take a sip of her water.

I got out of there in about an hour after I finished eating and got the bill, I wanted to leave earlier but I didn't want to be mean or rude. She was clearly very nervous and I didn't want to make her feel worse than she already was feeling. Afterward, she texted me that she had a great time and wanted to hang out again. At that point, I told her no fucking way. You couldn't pay me enough money to go through that date again.
 
LakeEarth

LakeEarth

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,177
Ontario
A female friend wanted to set me up with someone I hadn't met. When I meet them, she is morbidly obese. I've struggled with my weight before, so I try not to judge, and continue on my date to discover she's a chain smoker as well. An insane amount of cigarettes.

Okay well I'll just keep talking with her until the date is over and... oh, you dropped out of highschool too huh? Unemployeed as well? Well that's just... wow.

Pretty much ruined my relationship with that friend who set us up too. Like, what the hell?
 
DirtyLarry

DirtyLarry

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,112
Way back in college I had finally convinced this girl I was super into to go out with me.
We decided to go to the movies. A really small little art house theater right down the block from our school.
I had suggested it as my professor earlier that day kept ranting and raving about some movie he saw the night before at the same theater called "Reservoir Dogs." He highly recommended it to everyone in the class.
We did not talk much at all since we were in the movies with other people, but as soon as we walked out she said something along the lines of "That was literally the worst movie I have ever seen, you said Sergio recommended this piece of shit?"
Meanwhile I could not help but feel I just saw one of the best movies I had ever seen, and I was dumbfounded by her comment.
Not one to play games, right then and there I told her I did not think it was going to work out if she seriously thought the movie sucked.
That pissed her off beyond belief and she literally never talked me to again.
Good riddance was all I could think.
 
Nose Master

Nose Master

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,717
Not a red flag per se as I was already out, but I found out one of my exes kept used condoms in an ice cream container in her freezer a few months after we broke up.
 
Ballpoint Ren

Ballpoint Ren

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
1,425
Canada
Couple years ago I went out with this girl I met over Tinder, we go to a coffee shop to first meet, chat and whatnot. One of the first things she asks me is who I voted for in a recent general election. I was a little put off by this, but I answered anyway and said that I voted for Justin Trudeau. She, being a person of colour, said that she voted for Stephen Harper (a then conservative Prime Minister who fucked Canada up, for those who don't know).

That was the last time I saw her.
 
orlock

orlock

Member
Oct 28, 2017
1,286
third date, second time we had sex, told me she was in love with me.

we dated for six months. my bad, i admit it.
 
KendoClub

KendoClub

Member
Oct 27, 2017
143
Went on a tinder date not too long ago, everything was fine until she mentioned she was into Bruja culture (Hispanic witch). As the night went on she really broke it down for me, mind you I'm quick to dismiss the occult, but my deep inner Haitian was like "this ain't it Cheif, we ain't finna get a hex if things go wrong". So while I wouldn't say it was a super red flag, but I've heard enough from Haitian, Dominican and Cuban friends on people into that santeria/occult/ voodoo shit.
 
Kopite

Kopite

Member
Oct 28, 2017
6,020
KendoClub said:
Went on a tinder date not too long ago, everything was fine until she mentioned she was into Bruja culture (Hispanic witch). As the night went on she really broke it down for me, mind you I'm quick to dismiss the occult, but my deep inner Haitian was like "this ain't it Cheif, we ain't finna get a hex if things go wrong". So while I wouldn't say it was a super red flag, but I've heard enough from Haitian, Dominican and Cuban friends on people into that santeria/occult/ voodoo shit.
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Did you tell her I'm more of a Malkavian myself?
 
TrashHeap64

TrashHeap64

Member
Dec 7, 2017
1,677
Austin, TX
Pocky4Th3Win said:
Had a date introduce me to her child when I first met her and her Childs first words to me were " Is he gonna be my new daddy?". I was 24 and not ready for that.
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YIKES

Moppy said:
First and only online date I ever went on, when talking about work/career goals, she explained that she was Mormon, believed that women shouldn't work once they're married, and was hoping to get married soon and make "five or six little heavenly warriors". She brought this up a couple more times throughout the date and would rub her leg against mine under the table each time.

I stuck around until the end, but it kinda freaked me the fuck out.
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You from Utah by chance?
 
Schlorgan

Schlorgan

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
14,932
Salt Lake City, Utah
Moppy said:
First and only online date I ever went on, when talking about work/career goals, she explained that she was Mormon, believed that women shouldn't work once they're married, and was hoping to get married soon and make "five or six little heavenly warriors". She brought this up a couple more times throughout the date and would rub her leg against mine under the table each time.

I stuck around until the end, but it kinda freaked me the fuck out.
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Being Mormon and from Utah, I've never met anyone like this and I'm happier for it.
 
Tahnit

Tahnit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
9,965
Well most recently my date went into seizures when we arrived at the movie theater. She has Neurocardiogenicsyncope. She can go into seizures when exposed to flashing lights and stress.(mostly stress) we went to an arcade before the movie. Why did i take her to an arcade you may ask? Well because I had no fucking clue that she had this condition. All of this would have been manageable except then she checked herself into a hospital to get back on her meds via a psyche ward. All of this would have been ok except after she got out she just stopped talking very much at all and blamed her meds as not being able to talk or hang out which doesn't make sense.

So yeah. Red flag. Which is a shame cause i really liked her.
 

JasonV

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,967
Piston said:
This isn't a crazy story or anything, but it was by far my worst date:

I got out of there in about an hour after I finished eating and got the bill, I wanted to leave earlier but I didn't want to be mean or rude. She was clearly very nervous and I didn't want to make her feel worse than she already was feeling. Afterward, she texted me that she had a great time and wanted to hang out again. At that point, I told her no fucking way. You couldn't pay me enough money to go through that date again.
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Feel a little sorry for this one. Must have been terrified.
 
vegohead

vegohead

Member
Oct 27, 2017
175
Went on a date with a Colombian au pair that went horribly. She was terribly home sick and would not stop talking about family, as well her discomfort adjusting to US culture.

At first I was sympathetic, and listened to her vent a good deal. But I ended up realizing she had no interest in having a genuine conversation with me after only talking about her problems in excess.

I then asked her if this was a date, and she wouldn't give me a straight answer. It was getting pretty awkward at this point and what she said next really gave me giant red flags. We started talking about our most recent dating history and she said that she was her last partner's mistress (in Colombia) and she wasn't a good person. The way she said it, while intensely staring me down, freaked me out. The date ended pretty soon after that and I drove her to her hosts location. We had a texting fight a few days later and I blocked her. Really got bad vibes from her whole demeanor.
 
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