don't forget that thread about the dude from blizzard who was getting mentally and verbally abused by his coworker who was a woman. it only made to about 2 pages and people were like be a man lol
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Boyfriend gets slapped by his girlfriend for playing Fortnite with Pokimane on livestream.
- Thread starter Bundy
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I mean, I'd argue that ignoring the fact that Toxic Masculinity is bad for both men and women rather than just women is not a good idea and makes it harder to solve the issue. Especially as, as shitty as it may be, people are more likely to try and solve issues that hurt themselves directly. You're able to get more men onboard with solving the issue of toxic masculinity when you make it clear that they're victims too
who is ignoring that toxic masculinity is bad for both men and women?
I mean, asking people not point out the specific ways toxic masculinity hurts men because it ignores how it effects women is kind of doing that. And yeah, women will get similar disparaging comments in these situations, but I'd argue the scale of each is absolutely different. Even in media, you'll see countless examples of kids shows and such making a huge deal out of how a man should never hurt a woman and then in the next beat having a woman slap a man for the sake of comedy. I think arguing that women and men face the exact same treatment when they talk about being abused is just straight up untrue.
Perpetrators of "domestic violence" (a bullshit term that minimizes what in any other context would be battery) rarely get jail time whatever the sexes involved.
My point was:
1. By juxtaposing abused men against abused women, you make it seem like society's reaction to abused women is the ideal or even desired(it's not)
2. Me saying that they both get a lot of victim blaming nonsense which is what is prominent in the attached twitter threads is not the same as saying they are both exactly alike
3. Your example of how IPV is depicted in the media probably falls apart when you examine who creates those cartoons. I bet 80% of those cartoons, are written and helmed by predominately men.
3b. Which is to lead back to my original point that if youre concerned about abused men not receiving enough attention from society, you don't need to bring abused women into it, or at least not frame your point as a "people only care when women get abused". Because not only is it pretty false on its face (unless you're willing to argue that women don't receive vitriol when speaking about abuse), but your gripe should probably be with the toxic culture men have created that makes it hard for other men to speak about being abused.
that's also not me saying women are incapable of being shitheads when it comes to abuse. That's me saying that if you're going to talk about the macro, then let's be accurate and clear about the root cause.
When people say "imagine if the genders were reversed" that's disingenuous bullshit. You can talk about needing to prioritize abused men without trying to make it seem women have it better.
That's what I was about to say, he's going to see the abuse and think it's olay.
She giggles because she forgot which was "the first one" (as does he).. but I don't think that is making a joke about him being hit. Once he tells her its real and she hears the slaps, she seems to be pretty shocked and not sure what to say/do.
This. It'll likely be ingrained in him that no matter what you say the person using violence is the one getting their way.
Luckily it was just a slap, I have seen videos where the girlfriend just shows up with a baseball bat and smashes the console/pc of the boyfriend (some while he is actively using it) to pieces and she says she is justified for some reason. It's still abuse though.
Thanks for posting this and for stating the issue so eloquently.
The issue is the insinuation that people who balk at domestic violence when the victim is a woman are somehow more likely to ignore domestic violence when the victim is a man. To advance that position is to support a fatally flawed view of toxic masculinity and, indeed, feminism, where the gains of women come necessarily at the expense of men.
Domestic violence is always wrong. Equally as wrong if the victim is a man or a woman. The victim doesn't deserve to be assaulted by a perpetrator (especially one who claims to care for them) and that is always going to be the fact.
The gender is not relevant to this, it doesn't matter what gender you are, you will always sti,l be the victim in this situation. Important to remember that in any case of domestic violence
The gender is not relevant to this, it doesn't matter what gender you are, you will always sti,l be the victim in this situation. Important to remember that in any case of domestic violence
So I remember reading about a situation where the husband of a female politician, may have been a state rep, called 911 because she had been hitting him with a blunt wooden object and he was hiding in their bedroom upstairs. She managed to get in got the phone from him and told the operator to ignore him if he called again. The operator said she could not do that and the woman hung up on her. Few moments later he called back asking for the police to come and get him because she had threatened to hurt him.
As I recall the police were sent over and found him on the ground with a busted nose and a broken hand. She was insisting that nothing was wrong. Of course they took her in, but at the time people were in surprise that a woman could beat a man like that.
This is just as bad. You don't hit or beat your SO. That is just horrible. How dare she do that to him. And he sounded so resigned to it. And it's hard enough for viewer of it to hear it. Like WTF!
As I recall the police were sent over and found him on the ground with a busted nose and a broken hand. She was insisting that nothing was wrong. Of course they took her in, but at the time people were in surprise that a woman could beat a man like that.
This is just as bad. You don't hit or beat your SO. That is just horrible. How dare she do that to him. And he sounded so resigned to it. And it's hard enough for viewer of it to hear it. Like WTF!
Depends on the country. In Spain if a girl slapped his boyfriend that would be domestic violence and she would get a small sentence if she's tried down the line. If a boy slaps his girlfriend, that would be gender violence and he would go straight to jail that very same day even before he's tried, and when he finally is he would get a minimum of 3 years in prison. You're applied a different law for the same action depending on if you're a man or a woman.
I've had it out with feminists (both male and female) who insist that domestic abuse is a gendered problem, because... blah blah reasons.
I've heard the same bullshit promoted for years on radio and programmes discussing the problem. With advocates from the Crisis centres pushing the same bullshit.
Thankfully things seem to be changing in the last few years. And its for the better a zero tolerance attitude towards violence in any relationship will help everyone in those relationships. The domestic abuse ads on tv and radio here now have antagonists of both genders, include psychological and verbal abuse etc...
But it bull to say its just men or the Patriarchy pushing this line when its been everyone, most feminists haven been trying to pretend this problem doesn't exist or is minimal at best for decades.
Lol, I had that issue too. I was expecting video rather than audio :-P
My brother' now ex-girlfriend knew how to push his buttons for him to lash out at her, in order to get marks to head to the police in a grand scheme to obtain custody of their kid for money and the hope since the kid is British-born that she is allowed to stay in the UK as well (she is a Polish/EU citizen). My brother has since wizened up and left her, but was forced to leave the kid behind and now the kid is spreading lies to his school saying his dad hits him even though my brother is not even living in the same county/province as the kid & ex-girlfriend for some time. My brother even went to a court summon/hearing about the allegations of child abuse in order to defend himself, much to the dismay of his ex-girlfriend.
Oh my god people who think they look smart just because they're "both sides"ing BOILLLL MY BLOOD
Every time you "just take it" you are teaching him that violence is an acceptable method of communicating anger. It doesn't matter if you tell him otherwise; your actions will always speak louder.
Not sure what to do with this. Is this some random, or a person she actually knows? If it's the former, without any video or other audio it could easily just be some dude fucking around with a soundboard. Domestic abuse is serious, male or female, there just doesn't seem to be much to go on here and not much is explained in the OP.
I mean i've been constantly hit by someone who i was in a relationship with and it seemed she was trying to get me to react and i never did cause i was taught never to hit a woman...or anyone. Heck, the sister even slapped me once. Most of the time they say your words justify their actions. I should add that i have never ever hit her back but I also was not the easiest person to live with. Passive and reserved.
Geez. That is why it's super important not to just jump into marriage and also having children.
This is disgusting and I hope she gets arrested for abuse, but unfortunately she won't. Police do not take abuse seriously in general, much less when the victim is male.
I used to 'playfully' smack my husband on the arm when he'd call me names and such, because I grew up seeing others behave that way. I make it a point to never do that, even 'playfully' anymore.
I hope he's okay and can get out if that toxic relationship soon.
I used to 'playfully' smack my husband on the arm when he'd call me names and such, because I grew up seeing others behave that way. I make it a point to never do that, even 'playfully' anymore.
I hope he's okay and can get out if that toxic relationship soon.
So what? What is this even supposed to mean? Of course men don't take it seriously because we as a society don't take it seriously.
It's not a bullshit term at all. Domestic violence is a broad term that includes many forms of both physical and non physical violence. It's a specific form of violence that occurs within the home in intimate relationships. Raising awareness of domestic violence is specifically to address the often historically overlooked and ignored violence and abuse that occurs in people's private homes.
Thanks to raised levels of awareness of domestic violence in modern times, perpetrators of domestic violence are often charged with assault and battery for threatened or actual physical violence, sometimes resulting in jail, other times probation.
Exactly. He would have shouted out, otherwise.
EDIT: How many pages would this thread be on if the roles were reversed?
Society has problems...
That Blizzard thread was a such sight and its lack of attention still stings
Imagine this was reversed. Female playing with a male and the boyfriend hits the girlfriend.
because no one cares in this case.
hrmmmmmm
because no one cares in this case.
hrmmmmmm
Ninja was righ!
*vomits*
Let's face it, it's the gaming community. It wouldn't be better
*vomits*
Let's face it, it's the gaming community. It wouldn't be better
You know what disgusts me the most about men defending women who perform domestic violence against men? It's that these men are defending the female abuser because she's female. Their desperation for validation and self-satisfaction with a woman is so desperate that they are willing to throw a male victim under the bus for their sexual desires.
If you stay with an abuser then they'll continue their behaviour unless they show remorse and a willingness to change through their own violition.
If you stay with an abuser then they'll continue their behaviour unless they show remorse and a willingness to change through their own violition.
That's something that doesn't seem to get much discussion. She didn't seem to genuinely be concerned, I expected her to burst out laughing.
It gets a lot of discussion. The fact that abuse toward men isn't taken seriously is often the crux of the issue.
User Banned (1 month): Sexism, Prior Severe Ban for Misogyny (ban reduced following succesful appeal)
Edit: there was some stupid stuff here.
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