Boys More Likely To Be Victims Of Teen Dating Violence Than Girls, Study Shows. Violence down overall.

entremet · Jan 17, 2019

https://www.studyfinds.org/boys-more-victimized-by-teen-dating-violence-than-girls-study-finds/

VANCOUVER — Who is more likely to be victimized by teen dating violence? If you're quick to think it's girls, new data shows you're wrong. In a surprising twist, recently published research indicates boys are more likely to report being victims of dating violence committed by partners who hit, slap or push them.

Researchers with the University of British Columbia (UBC) and Simon Fraser University (SFU) conducted a longitudinal study of dating violence. While reports of physical abuse went down over time, they say there is a troubling gender-related trend.

Five percent of teens reported physical abuse from their dating partners in 2013, down from 6 percent in 2003. But in the last year, 5.8 percent of boys reported dating violence compared to 4.2 percent of girls.

Some of the possible reasoning?

"It could be that it's still socially acceptable for girls to hit or slap boys in dating relationships," says lead author Catherine Shaffer, a PhD student with SFU, in a release. "This has been found in studies of adolescents in other countries as well."

Good news is that violence is down overall.

Shaffer believes the overall decline in dating violence is positive. "Young people who experience dating violence are more likely to act out and take unnecessary risks, and they're also more likely to experience depression or think about or attempt suicide," she says. "That's why it's good to see that decline in dating violence over a 10-year span. It suggests that healthy relationship programs are making an impact among youth."

Charizard · Jan 17, 2019

Interesting but... Are girls as likely to report violence as guys are? That is always an important factor to consider.

Deleted member 14377 · Jan 17, 2019

Can't read at the moment, but does this study also include murder?

Airegin · Jan 17, 2019

Thread title says more likely to be victims while the article says more likely to report.

entrydenied · Jan 17, 2019

Toxic masculinity working as intended. Boys are meant to be strong and resilent and it's ok for girls to hit them because they can take it. What's a slap anyway when you're a man? After all girls are weaker than boys.

AstralTurfWarrior · Jan 17, 2019

Charizard said:
Interesting but... Are girls as likely to report violence as guys are? That is always an important factor to consider.

There are certainly factors making girls unlikely to report it, but there are factors making boys unlikely to report it too. It's generally considered shameful (though obviously it shouldn't) to be "beaten by a girl" so men often don't report violence towards them by women.

That said, these questions are important nevertheless.

entremet · Jan 17, 2019

Frecklestein said:
Can't read at the moment, but does this study also include murder?

Here was the group they used:

Researchers looked at data collected from three British Columbia Adolescent Health Surveys conducted over a 10-year timespan. Participants were 35,900 students in grades 7 through 12 who were in dating relationships. This is the first North American study to compare statistics for boys and girls and the first Canadian study to consider teen dating violence over the course of a decade.

So it's a rather big and detailed study. And one of the firsts in its category. Like all studies, it's just a snapshot with one population set.

Cocaloch · Jan 17, 2019

Charizard said:
Interesting but... Are girls as likely to report violence as guys are? That is always an important factor to consider.

Presumably boys would be less likely to report violence, meaning this is even more disproportional.

Rayne · Jan 17, 2019

Yeah you shouldn't be hitting your partner regardless of gender. Basic respect.

And if anything I feel the number of boys is likely higher because they're probably more reluctant to report it.

808s & Villainy · Jan 17, 2019

Charizard said:
Interesting but... Are girls as likely to report violence as guys are? That is always an important factor to consider.

I would wager boys are even less likely to report than girls because there's the whole toxic masculinity aspect of it that makes admitting to that embarrassing

Neece · Jan 17, 2019

I'm not sure where this falls into the conversation, but since this is talking about teens as young as 7th graders, I do remember being quite a few boys being kicked in the balls from girls when I was in middle school. It was seen as funny and not a big deal, in some cases "justice" if the boy had something mean or crass or whatever to provoke the reaction. Even I internalized it as being harmless, even if it hurt.

I also can recall shoves to the head from girlfriends to boyfriends in high school. It usually would come if the boy said something dumb or whatever. Was definitely normalized.

Stinkles · Jan 17, 2019

Well, no violence is good but the headline is somewhat misleading at least with regards to power dynamics.

But I have a ten year old daughter and I've had conversations with her about violence and fights with school friends -- boys and girls. So far it's been penny-ante shoving or throwing a crayon but she knows the rules.

Never except in self defense and even then only if there's no other option - teacher, parent etc.

Also I'd be really careful about making even sensible seeming assumptions about who's more likely to report - there's a ton of survey factors that could easily flip or distort that rate.

Embarrassment would be one but so would physical fear or cultural wrappers.

808s & Villainy · Jan 17, 2019

Stinkles said:
Well, no violence is good but the headline is somewhat misleading at least with regards to power dynamics.

?

Kirblar · Jan 17, 2019

I think this patttern's been seen before in a anumber of studies- higher prevalance against men but much much higher severity against women. Neither's acceptable and both should be addressed, but they require very different approaches because of the severity differences (and is obviously why male on female violence is generally the higher priority.)

KillLaCam · Jan 17, 2019

I guess that makes sense in some ways especially at younger ages, since guys aren't supposed to hit girls. But when guys go for violence it's alot worse than what the average girl would do

Deleted member 41520 · Jan 17, 2019

entrydenied said:
Toxic masculinity working as intended. Boys are meant to be strong and resilent and it's ok for girls to hit them because they can take it. What's a slap anyway when you're a man? After all girls are weaker than boys.

So cynical

But yes also correct

A boy being struck by a girl will gladly go "yeah my gf hits me sometimes, it's nothing" while girls in abusive relationships will not come forward and report that because of the emotionally abusive milieux

Of course boys get stuck in abusive relationships too but young women are far more vulnerable and there's a big reporting problem there

kswiston · Jan 17, 2019

There does seem to be a myth at high school ages that girls can't really hurt boys when they hit them. However, even in cases where the boyfriend is bigger, some girls know how to throw a punch.

Women will always be at greater risk on average for serious violence due to size differences and I don't think that this result is relevant to that, but hitting should not be tolerated by any partner. Ditto with emotional abuse, which school definitely didn't do enough to address when I was a teen many years ago.

Zornack · Jan 17, 2019

entrydenied said:
Toxic masculinity working as intended. Boys are meant to be strong and resilent and it's ok for girls to hit them because they can take it. What's a slap anyway when you're a man? After all girls are weaker than boys.

How is this not victim blaming?

BringBackSonics · Jan 17, 2019

entremet said:
Here was the group they used:

Researchers looked at data collected from three British Columbia Adolescent Health Surveys conducted over a 10-year timespan. Participants were 35,900 students in grades 7 through 12 who were in dating relationships. This is the first North American study to compare statistics for boys and girls and the first Canadian study to consider teen dating violence over the course of a decade.

So it's a rather big and detailed study. And one of the firsts in its category. Like all studies, it's just a snapshot with one population set.

That's a pretty robust study

entrydenied · Jan 17, 2019

Jiminy said:
So cynical

But yes also correct

A boy being struck by a girl will gladly go "yeah my gf hits me sometimes, it's nothing" while girls in abusive relationships will not come forward and report that because of the emotionally abusive milieux

Of course boys get stuck in abusive relationships too but young women are far more vulnerable and there's a big reporting problem there

Yup. Boys are taught to just suck it and take it all in to because they're men but I would think women in general survive from being trapped in abusive relationships more due to various reasons. Women are taught to "listen to their men and be a good wife" as well so that doesn't help.

Zornack said:
How is this not victim blaming?

In case you didn't get it, the sentence in italics is what some people in the world believe in, not what I believe in. I'm saying that it's the way people justify why it's ok for girls to hit boys and it is not something I agree with. It is toxic masculinity because of the way society has crafted the idea that a man cannot possibly be harmed by a mere girl and hence be ok with it when it happens.

Deleted member 19066 · Jan 17, 2019

Zornack said:
How is this not victim blaming?

It's placing the blame on society at large rather than the individual boys. The boys are still victims.

Zornack · Jan 17, 2019

entrydenied said:
In case you didn't get it, the sentence in italics is what some people in the world believe in, not what I believe in. I'm saying that it's the way people justify whu it's ok for girls to hit boys and it is not something I agree with. It is toxic masculinity because of the way society has crafted the idea that a man cannot possibly be harmed by a mere girl and hence be ok with it when it happens.

I understand that but it's still making them complicit in the violence. How does society telling boys to shrug off violence from women make women be violent?

Mailbox · Jan 17, 2019

Zornack said:
How is this not victim blaming?

A) because the italics are meant to be the "rational" that permiates toxic masculinity

B) the post is not actually saying the italics, but using them as a reference

C) the post is being used as an explainer for why men feel like they can't talk about it, not blaming men for being hit, ergo not victim blaming.

entrydenied · Jan 17, 2019

Zornack said:
I understand that but it's still making them complicit in the violence. How does society telling boys to shrug off violence from women make women be violent?

The italics are an explanation as to why people think that it is ok for girls to hit boys. They are not representative of what I think.

The Boat · Jan 17, 2019

This is not surprising at all. Growing up I've seen tons and tons of girls being physically, verbally and emotionally violent towards their boyfriends. Pushing, slapping, controlling, manipulating and insulting was very common, but the guys can't complain, because a man has to take it and girls will be girls.

newline · Jan 17, 2019

My girlfriend at uni used to punch me pretty regularly. I think there's definitely a notion with younger girls that they can't hurt guys. But from my experience they grow out of it.

Thordinson · Jan 17, 2019

Jiminy said:
So cynical

But yes also correct

A boy being struck by a girl will gladly go "yeah my gf hits me sometimes, it's nothing" while girls in abusive relationships will not come forward and report that because of the emotionally abusive milieux

Of course boys get stuck in abusive relationships too but young women are far more vulnerable and there's a big reporting problem there

I agree. It seems like, in this case, it would be easier for men to report. "Yeah, my girl slaps me. So what?" I do think that this issue should absolutely be addressed. Far too many men and women think it's okay for a woman to hit or slap their significant other.

Deleted member 9241 · Jan 17, 2019

BringBackSonics said:
That's a pretty robust study

This was my thought as well. I was a bit surprised TBH.

Zornack · Jan 17, 2019

I understand the italics are an inner monologue. What I'm saying is, boys feeling like they have to suck up and take the abuse isn't the reason girls are abusing them.

SageShinigami · Jan 17, 2019

"You complaining about getting hit by a girl?"

"Girls are more emotional, you just gotta take it sometimes."

Yeah, I can believe this study. Its good we're seeing a downtick in violence though.

Mona · Jan 17, 2019

EDIT: nvm

Pooh · Jan 17, 2019

Yeah this is something that is under-discussed when talking about domestic violence.

entrydenied · Jan 17, 2019

Zornack said:
I understand the italics are an inner monologue. What I'm saying is, boys feeling like they have to suck up and take the abuse isn't the reason girls are abusing them.

It is probably one of the reasons why girls think it's ok to be violent with boys. It might not be out of malice but because it's considered socially acceptable within some groups of people.

I haven't been watching much of Asian dramas but it wasn't so long ago that Japan, Taiwan, HK and even my own country have female protagonists that attack the male lead and these scenarios are presented as cute.

The most famous example would probably be My Sassy Girl even though it has been a while. The female lead is just straight up psychotic but viewers are expected to think that it's cute and romantic.

S-Wind · Jan 17, 2019

Charizard said:
Interesting but... Are girls as likely to report violence as guys are? That is always an important factor to consider.

I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that boys are far far far less likely than girls to report the violence that they are on the receiving end of.

How does society treat males who are victims of violence? Especially when the perpetrator is female....

dyst · Jan 17, 2019

This is why it's absolutely wrong to make light of women hitting men. The media only feeds into it, by making it a joke. Then we have idiots in society who marginalize it just because they are "women". People should not be hitting others, (instigating) regardless of gender.

Interesting study though, thanks for posting. Should STFU all the people who think violence is onesided.

BigWinnie1 · Jan 17, 2019

Yeah My mom and Dad beat it into us that don't hurt anyone if you can avoid it but if they put their hands on you first, make sure its the last time they ever do it.

It caused a few problems for Us at school because my sister got into a few fights ( one notable one where my sister beat a dude with a chair because he pushed her into a wall all because he liked her and couldn't say it out loud.)

I even caught smoke because I decked a girl in high school because she punched me in the solar plexes and tried to kick me in the nuts because we got into an arguement. Parents got called and Mom gave everyone the riot act because no one stepped up to break us up when she was poking her finger in my chest and pushing my face while we were arguing ( she was shouting about me dating her and sleeping some white girl even both weren't true and I only ever walked her home from school and said White girl was one of the first friends I made at the high school).

I was labeled as a brute for it for awhile but girls and guys learned to not put their hands on me. We can argue but I will hit you if you hit me first. It didn't help that I inherited my moms famous slow temper, took awhile to get going but once I was hot, I stayed hot for awhile and It took time to calm me down.

Josh378 · Jan 17, 2019

I remember my ex female friend punched me in the face over an argument about food and I called the police. Police told me that I should man up and deal with it. He did warn her that if it happens again he's going to take her to jail. you can guess we're not friends anymore.

Hamster Plugin · Jan 18, 2019

entrydenied said:
It is probably one of the reasons why girls think it's ok to be violent with boys. It might not be out of malice but because it's considered socially acceptable within some groups of people.

I haven't been watching much of Asian dramas but it wasn't so long ago that Japan, Taiwan, HK and even my own country have female protagonists that attack the male lead and these scenarios are presented as cute.

The most famous example would probably be My Sassy Girl even though it has been a while. The female lead is just straight up psychotic but viewers are expected to think that it's cute and romantic.

It's not really something restricted to Asian countries. Take any Hollywood action movie and think of how many men die vs how many women die. You can restrict it to female protagonists only and it'll still be mostly men as targets of violence. Characters that are given names do not count, think of only disposable grunts here.

In video games, the last three Tomb Raider games are about a woman going around an island murdering men in increasingly brutal ways as you progress through the game. Uncharted Lost Legacy does the same with less gore.

Deleted member 2809 · Jan 18, 2019

That's what happens when people say "don't hit girls" seriously.

Colonel Getafe · Jan 18, 2019

I had a borderline girlfriend who was prone to lashing out at other people. Never me, because I think she understood that the minute she laid a finger on me it was the last time she'd ever see me again.

My best friend recently left an abusive relationship where he was regularly physically attacked and threatened.

Having grown up in a house where domestic violence was ever present, the poster who said it's a quantity/severity split is correct. Boys will under report, girls will be beaten worse. But across the board, in my experience at least, the psychological impact on victims is different but comparatively severe.

Even in self defence I don't think I could strike a woman. But because of my life experiences I would be unlikely to find myself trapped in that position. Most other people like me would likely go the other way. In not a violent person in general though, I internalise anger. Maybe that's because of the childhood.

LL_Decitrig · Jan 18, 2019

Frecklestein said:
Can't read at the moment, but does this study also include murder?

It's a self-reported survey, so like other similar victimisation surveys it cannot reach victims of murder for obvious reasons.

SugarNoodles · Jan 18, 2019

Shugga said:
That's what happens when people say "don't hit girls" seriously.

Specifically addressing violence against women coming from men is important.

dragonchild · Jan 18, 2019

Hamster Plugin said:
It's not really something restricted to Asian countries. Take any Hollywood action movie and think of how many men die vs how many women die.

Men getting hurt and dying is generally considered OK. There's a very significant distortion at the oligarch level where man-babies swing around their entitlement-swollen guts, but they don't reflect the rest of society. For example, the vast majority (70-75%) of murder victims are male, although it's overwhelmingly male-on-male violence, which makes it all trivial in importance. FWIW I'm not expressing my own opinions here, that it's trivial. I say it's trivial, because society treats it as trivial. Exhibit A, depictions of violence, as you pointed out. Movies and games will make randos overwhelmingly male because it's much safer PR than to mix some women in there (there are exceptions like the Double Dragon series but they practically prove the rule, tho come to think of it slasher flicks of all things are weirdly egalitarian). Also, if we judge by others' willingness to discuss the topic or even do something about it, as opposed to just "yeah yeah it's important too but let's talk about this" lip service, people do not give a shit. Mostly because the statistics say it's a "black" problem, as in the men dying in droves IRL are mostly black, and Americans don't care about black people.

dragonchild · Jan 18, 2019

LL_Decitrig said:
It's a self-reported survey, so like other similar victimisation surveys it cannot reach victims of murder for obvious reasons.

They didn't try hard enough.

LooneyLMD · Jan 18, 2019

Hamster Plugin said:
It's not really something restricted to Asian countries. Take any Hollywood action movie and think of how many men die vs how many women die. You can restrict it to female protagonists only and it'll still be mostly men as targets of violence. Characters that are given names do not count, think of only disposable grunts here.

In video games, the last three Tomb Raider games are about a woman going around an island murdering men in increasingly brutal ways as you progress through the game. Uncharted Lost Legacy does the same with less gore.

This stuff annoys me.

I'm watching an anime called Your Lie in April, and the protagonist, a depressed boy, is constantly abused by his two female friends. They kick him, punch him, and even hit him with baseballs and shit, and it's supposed to be funny.

-Pyromaniac- · Jan 18, 2019

LooneyLMD said:
This stuff annoys me.

I'm watching an anime called Your Lie in April, and the protagonist, a depressed boy, is constantly abused by his two female friends. They kick him, punch him, and even hit him with baseballs and shit, and it's supposed to be funny.

I had a friend in high school who was very much like this. I don't know if it was her version of being friendly or whatever the fuck she was doing but constant punches to the arm and slaps on the back and pushes like goddamn. It took all my restraint to not do something back sometimes. I told her to chill the fuck out numerous times with that stuff but it never really went away till we stopped being friends when high school ended.

I had bruises on my arms and wrist marks and all that from grabs.

Apathy · Jan 18, 2019

Charizard said:
Interesting but... Are girls as likely to report violence as guys are? That is always an important factor to consider.

When it comes to violence in relationships, this has to be like the first time I can remember seeing men be higher reported than women. It's historically always women having higher report rates.

Deleted member 41520 · Jan 18, 2019

Zornack said:
I understand the italics are an inner monologue. What I'm saying is, boys feeling like they have to suck up and take the abuse isn't the reason girls are abusing them.

It's not the reason, but it's perceived differently in our society. This actively means people will behave differently.

There's a huge field of psychology called "threshold theory" (IIRC) which dictates that there are different "acceptability thresholds" for different behaviours. For instance the threshold for a woman hitting a man is very low while the threshold for a man hitting a woman is very high. This'll vary country to country depending on its cultural thresholds. But basically a man who tends to be abusive is less likely to hit a woman because of the cultural threshold; while a woman who has an equally abusive tendency will be more likely to beat a man because of the much lower "acceptability threshold".

So no, it's not the reason, but it's perceived differently, and perceptions absolutely affect behaviours.

Wispmetas · Jan 18, 2019

Josh378 said:
I remember my ex female friend punched me in the face over an argument about food and I called the police. Police told me that I should man up and deal with it. He did warn her that if it happens again he's going to take her to jail. you can guess we're not friends anymore.

First I thought "Wow you called the police because of a punch?", then I thought, if it was a woman it would be totally normal for that to happen, and now I understand I'm part of the problem haha

It just seems that violence is much more normal when it is associated with man.

bangai-o · Jan 18, 2019

The Boat said:
This is not surprising at all. Growing up I've seen tons and tons of girls being physically, verbally and emotionally violent towards their boyfriends. Pushing, slapping, controlling, manipulating and insulting was very common, but the guys can't complain, because a man has to take it and girls will be girls.

Talk to middle and high school teachers about the evil that girls are capable of inflicting onto their peers. It is pretty depressing.

Boys More Likely To Be Victims Of Teen Dating Violence Than Girls, Study Shows. Violence down overall.

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