Broadly: 100 Ways White People Can Make Life Less Frustrating For People of Color

Urban Scholar · Apr 23, 2018

https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/arti...e-ally-to-people-of-color?utm_source=vicefbus

Kesiena Boom via Broadly wrote a very comprehensive list of microaggressions that people of color like myself navigate through on a daily basis. To be honest it's tiring and we notice it here at ERA as well.

A microaggression is the casual degradation of any marginalized group.

As someone with very low tolerance for racist bullshit, I've managed to surround myself with white people who are cognizant of their privilege and strive to make the world a less terrifying and frustrating place for people of color. This means that I often deal with said white people asking me what they can actually do to affect change. So here, anxious allies of the world, are 100 simple ways to be the change. It's not nearly comprehensive, but it's somewhere to start. Go forth and disrupt our harmful racial paradigm!

Pleas keep in mind this thread isn't calling you a racist. This thread is to help you understand. Understand what it's like for your coworkers, friends, etc when you see (or not) them uncomfortable. It's to help you understand why a lot of us say we're exasperated in posts here and or online. This post is also to help you understand why you may have a PoC coworker that seems anti-social.

Below are some of the 100 I chose to share

1. Just because you can't see racism around you doesn't mean it's not happening. Trust people of color's assessment of a situation.

11. Don't rinse our culturally specific memes. They're ours. Go enjoy that weird one about the plums

13. Avoid phrases like "But I have a Black friend! I can't be racist!" You know that's BS as well as we do

16. Don't question someone's Blackness if they're light-skinned. It's not your place. Other Black people can make sure that light-skinned Black people are cognizant of their privilege.

17. Never try and tell a person of color what is or isn't racist.

20. Understand that some days are even more mentally exhausting for people of color thanks to the news cycle. Try not to badger us for our opinions on the latest atrocity that has occurred. Leave us to grieve.

39. Recognize that you can't assume someone's religion based on how they look. Not all South Asians and Middle Eastern people are Muslims, not all Black people are Christian, not all East Asian people are Buddhist. You get the idea.

Note: Again this thread isn't meant to accuse you of anything. It's meant to serve as a learning point. Because again, it's hard enough out here without these microagressions.

Also please understand your experience with people of color isn't a sweeping OK. Like all relationships, that's what you share with them. Not all of us. Waving any legitimate point doesn't help.

Thank you for your time.

Htown · Apr 23, 2018

46. Don't touch our fucking hair.

I don't understand why anyone thinks this is okay to do.

Also like 1/4 of the list could be summed up as "treat us as actual humans and not curiosities of some kind."

Luchashaq · Apr 23, 2018

I'm with most of it.

11. Is bullshit, I grew up mostly with black friends, and that's still who I am close with to this day. We have similar sense of humor am I supposed to cut myself off from the funny memes they post? Fuck off with the comedic segregation people seem to be growing fans of recently.

35. Gentrification is a huge problem, but the solution isn't "white people can't live here" bullshit.

82. I get it, because white dreadlocks always look awful but I'm never going to tell someone what to do with their own hair or body.

Thumbs up to the other 97 personally no matter how obvious most of them are.

Urban Scholar · Apr 23, 2018

Luchashaq said:
I'm with most of it.

11. Is bullshit, I grew up mostly with black friends, and that's still who I am close with to this day. We have similar sense of humor am I supposed to cut myself off from the funny memes they post? Fuck off with the comedic segregation people seem to be growing fans of recently.

35. Gentrification is a huge problem, but the solution isn't "white people can't live here" bullshit.

82. I get it, because white dreadlocks always look awful but I'm never going to tell someone what to do with their own hair or body.

Thumbs up to the other 97 personally no matter how obvious most of them are.

You reminded me I need to clarify something in the OP. But this is written from the point that it isn't universally ok as the article states and provides reason why.

You're free to disagree of course.

Deleted member 835 · Apr 23, 2018

Htown said:
46. Don't touch our fucking hair.

I don't understand why anyone thinks this is okay to do.

Also like 1/4 of the list could be summed up as "treat us as actual humans and not curiosities of some kind."

Cus it different man, shit is weird. I been asked loads of times

Urban Scholar · Apr 23, 2018

Htown said:
46. Don't touch our fucking hair.

I don't understand why anyone thinks this is okay to do.

Also like 1/4 of the list could be summed up as "treat us as actual humans and not curiosities of some kind."

I agree homie but some points need to be hammered repeatedly. Hence the creation of this thread :/

GrizzleBoy · Apr 23, 2018

I don't really like the ",never have an opinion about xyz" type parts of these things.

If my friend doesn't think something is racist, I don't see why he shouldn't be able to say so.

If I disagree and have a good enough explanation as to why they're wrong, I'll explain.

It's not a given that what I feel to be racist is actually racist. Especially when poc are and can be racist both amongst themselves and toward other poc groups too.

I agree with a list of stuff people may not know is hurtful.

(Edit: yes, including the damn hair thing)

I don't agree with the "We are always right about xyz. No argument. No discussion".

Man God · Apr 23, 2018

17 is complete and total bullshit. You say something overtly racist you're going to get called out by me.

BossAttack · Apr 23, 2018

Beefy said:
Cus it different man, shit is weird. I been asked loads of times

It was my entire life K-12 grade.

skillzilla81 · Apr 23, 2018

The ones the OP posted could be very useful here with the recent starbucks/La Fitness examples. Saw a lot of, "But how do you know it was race related" in the Starbucks thread.

Man God said:
17 is complete and total bullshit. You say something overtly racist you're going to get called out by me.[/QUOTE

I think you're reading that wrong.

Urban Scholar · Apr 23, 2018

skillzilla81 said:
The ones the OP posted could be very useful here with the recent starbucks/La Fitness examples. Saw a lot of, "But how do you know it was race related" in the Starbucks thread.

I chose them specifically for those reasons.

Deleted member 5865 · Apr 23, 2018

12 is objectively wrong, its never not a good time to listen to Artic Monkeys

As for 45/46, funnily enough the only people bugging about my hair are other black people

Lost · Apr 23, 2018

17. Never try and tell a person of color what is or isn't racist.

Greg NYC3 · Apr 23, 2018

GrizzleBoy said:
I don't really like the ",never have an opinion about xyz" type parts of these things.

If my friend doesn't think something is racist, I don't see why he shouldn't be able to say so.

If I disagree and have a good enough explanation as to why they're wrong, I'll explain.

It's not a given that what I feel to be racist is actually racist. Especially when poc are and can be racist both amongst themselves and toward others too.

I agree with a list of stuff people may not know is hurtful.

I don't agree with the "We are always right about xyz. No argument. No discussion".

It depends on the person. If your friend is the type that acknowledges the existence of racism but gets confused sometimes about the context then debate is something useful. I have co-workers however who seem to believe that racism only exists when it comes to racism perpetrated against white people and all other racism is a fantasy. Those are the types of folks I think that point is addressing.

SageShinigami said:
That's the wrong way to read it. It's actually when a POC says something racist and a white person's like, "No it's not racist 'cause..."

Pretty much. There are few things a stressful as getting into a debate with someone insisting that Trump (for example) isn't racist.

SageShinigami · Apr 23, 2018

Man God said:
17 is complete and total bullshit. You say something overtly racist you're going to get called out by me.

That's the wrong way to read it. It's actually when a POC says something racist and a white person's like, "No it's not racist 'cause..."

Deleted member 17402 · Apr 23, 2018

SageShinigami said:
That's the wrong way to read it. It's actually when a POC says something racist and a white person's like, "No it's not racist 'cause..."

I read it more as a not telling someone that their experience with racism isn't racism.

skillzilla81 · Apr 23, 2018

TheFallenSaboteur said:
I read it more as a not telling someone that their experience with racism isn't racism.

This is how I read it.

GrizzleBoy · Apr 23, 2018

Greg NYC3 said:
It depends on the person. If your friend is the type that acknowledges the existence of racism but gets confused sometimes about the context then debate is something useful. I have co-workers however who seem to believe that racism only exists when it comes to racism perpetrated against white people and all other racism is a fantasy. Those are the types of folks I think that point is addressing.

I can see how my friend analogy and ignorant co worker analogy are different. I probably wouldn't be friends with so.eone who dismisses things that affect me as fairy tales.

That said, I think that point is just worded far too bluntly and matter of fact that it will only stir up trouble, even if it doesn't mean to.

daboynem · Apr 23, 2018

The problem with lists like these is that a few dumb points become the focus and the rest get ignored.

EDIT: Read the thread and look at that we are starting to see the same ones getting called our

Enzom21 · Apr 23, 2018

Luchashaq said:
11. Is bullshit, I grew up mostly with black friends, and that's still who I am close with to this day. We have similar sense of humor am I supposed to cut myself off from the funny memes they post? Fuck off with the comedic segregation people seem to be growing fans of recently.

A little while back Yahoo finance tweeted out "Nigger Navy" and black folks turned that into a meme. Did you participate in that?

PoppaBK · Apr 23, 2018

List is all over the place. If you can't give advice that is coherent then maybe you don't actually know how to advise people.

shintoki · Apr 23, 2018

SageShinigami said:
That's the wrong way to read it. It's actually when a POC says something racist and a white person's like, "No it's not racist 'cause..."

Except it says never tell a poc what is or isnt.

D65 · Apr 23, 2018

Point 17 is bullshit

I can relate to Point 16

Deleted member 6230 · Apr 23, 2018

Yachty said:
The problem with lists like these is that a few dumb points become the focus and the rest get ignored.

And sometimes they're not "dumb" just controversial but the real problem is the list existing in the first place is controversial. People will definitely find something to latch on to to disagree with.

SageShinigami · Apr 23, 2018

Yachty said:
The problem with lists like these is that a few dumb points become the focus and the rest get ignored.

EDIT: Read the thread and look at that we are starting to see the same ones getting called our

And on that note, I'm gonna ignore the 10 or so I don't agree with and stick with the 90 that I think are good.

Cotton McKnight · Apr 23, 2018

Urban Scholar said:
https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/arti...e-ally-to-people-of-color?utm_source=vicefbus

Note: Again this thread isn't meant to accuse you of anything. It's meant to serve as a learning point. Because again, it's hard enough out here without these microagressions.

Also please understand your experience with people of color isn't a sweeping OK. Like all relationships, that's what you share with them. Not all of us. Waving any legitimate point doesn't help.

Thank you for your time.

It all seems pretty common sense to me, but thanks for the share!

DonShula · Apr 23, 2018

What does it mean to rinse a meme?

And holy crap @ #16. I'm leaving the room if I ever witness that.

NekoNeko · Apr 23, 2018

54. If you're trying to start a mixed raced family, sit down and deeply interrogate your intentions

what does this mean?

TheGhost · Apr 23, 2018

These lists always come across kind of passive aggressive as if they are speaking directly to conservatives yet only progressive white folks will be the only ones reading this.

If these lists could be made with out the attitude and snark and taught in grade school it can really go a long way to teaching future generations that everyone should be treated as equals

Zelas · Apr 23, 2018

Luchashaq said:
11. Is bullshit, I grew up mostly with black friends, and that's still who I am close with to this day. We have similar sense of humor am I supposed to cut myself off from the funny memes they post? Fuck off with the comedic segregation people seem to be growing fans of recently.

I think the keyword here is "rinse." Nobody is saying you can't enjoy memes with other black folk. Somebody correct me if I'm wrong but the problem would be "rinsing" the joke of its cultural foundations to make it more comfortable for others who aren't a part of that culture. It's kind of like how a style of music could be built up and molded around the life experiences of a group of people. But then another group of people show up, throwing away those foundations, taking just the sounds they like and applying it to something "friendlier" they can sell to moms.

Cap G · Apr 23, 2018

Lol at the tail end of 16. "Thanks for offering, but we can shit on lighter skinned black people on our own"

Luchashaq · Apr 23, 2018

Enzom21 said:
A little while back Yahoo finance tweeted out "Nigger Navy" and black folks turned that into a meme. Did you participate in that?

Had to google what that even was but no, using memes as some sort of pass to say the n word isn't a sane thing to do. (Although when we were in junior high these same friends spent like a year+ trying to trick me into saying the nword after how bad I felt saying it when singing along to a song because they found my distress/immediate apology hilarious.)

Sinneslöschen · Apr 23, 2018

The hair thing, I am assuming that is for adults? Like if a 3 year old asks to touch a black persons hair is he a racist piece of shit or just a curious child?

Urban Scholar · Apr 23, 2018

TheGhost said:
These lists always come across kind of passive aggressive as if they are speaking directly to conservatives yet only progressive white folks will be the only ones reading this.

If these lists could be made with out the attitude and snark and taught in grade school it can really go a long way to teaching future generations that everyone should be treated as equals

You must understand why the author is angry and many of us feel the same way.

The snark and grade school mentality as you call it is a direct result of dealing with this for a lifetime.

Deleted member 6582 · Apr 23, 2018

Some of these are just being a decent person. Others seems

Luchashaq said:
I'm with most of it.

11. Is bullshit, I grew up mostly with black friends, and that's still who I am close with to this day. We have similar sense of humor am I supposed to cut myself off from the funny memes they post? Fuck off with the comedic segregation people seem to be growing fans of recently.

35. Gentrification is a huge problem, but the solution isn't "white people can't live here" bullshit.

82. I get it, because white dreadlocks always look awful but I'm never going to tell someone what to do with their own hair or body.

Thumbs up to the other 97 personally no matter how obvious most of them are.

I agree with this. Most of these are just being a decent person but a couple are don't make any sense even if the author feels strongly about them. If your memes can only comfortably be shared with one race, they were probably racist to begin with (be mindful about self-deprecating racism, because even you may not know where it came from or who is reposting it). People will live where they can damn well afford, gentrification pushes people out from the center, the people moving in likely could not afford to go elsewhere even if they are richer than you. Dreadlocks is not a racial hairstyle, it's literally how human hair forms for all races.

skillzilla81 · Apr 23, 2018

TheGhost said:
These lists always come across kind of passive aggressive as if they are speaking directly to conservatives yet only progressive white folks will be the only ones reading this.

If these lists could be made with out the attitude and snark and taught in grade school it can really go a long way to teaching future generations that everyone should be treated as equals

"Progressive white folks" sure like to tell me about my experience.

Your problem is with the tone? Like PoC need to always be nice to try and educate the people who are interfering with us living our best lives? lol.

PorkandBeans · Apr 23, 2018

14 is going to be tough to read for about half of this forum.

ahoyhoy · Apr 23, 2018

Dipro said:
54. If you're trying to start a mixed raced family, sit down and deeply interrogate your intentions

what does this mean?

I'm hoping it's addressed towards people explicitly looking to have a kid with someone of another race?

SmokingBun · Apr 23, 2018

Honestly, the word micro-aggression triggers me
You make it sound like some new age, overtly PC nonsense

Let's just call racist things racist

EDIT:

Hang on, we can't complain about WHITE PEOPLE?
Seriously? Am I not allowed to mock the king?

Obnoxious JoJo Fan · Apr 23, 2018

17 is mostly BS

if you look at Talib Kwelis twitter you'll get what I mean

The Fabled Englishman · Apr 23, 2018

Who the fuck is living out 'weird racial fantasies' via their mixed-race children? That strikes me as a bizarre notion.

AnansiThePersona · Apr 23, 2018

Alright I'm going to add one more way to this that some people might disagree with or think it's "pandering" to people of color.

101. Tell me you didn't vote for Trump.

That's really all I want. We can be friends and I'd be more than glad to help with the other 100 ways you might be doing racist things you didn't realize were racist, but just so we get on the right foot and I don't find out later how much you hate liberals, the mainstream media, etc.

Sinneslöschen · Apr 23, 2018

I think people take issue with 17 because it seems to suggest that it is impossible for a POC to ever misinterpret something.

I think the sentiment is good though, I can see how whitesplaining to POC what is and isn't racist is an issue.

Enzom21 · Apr 23, 2018

Luchashaq said:
Had to google what that even was but no, using memes as some sort of pass to say the n word isn't a sane thing to do. (Although when we were in junior high these same friends spent like a year+ trying to trick me into saying the nword after how bad I felt saying it when singing along to a song because they found my distress/immediate apology hilarious.)

So then you understand that not everything is for you?

tsmoreau · Apr 23, 2018

I dunno if it's just because I'm not white myself and have always lived in California and don't really hang out around white-bread type white folk (hippies and artsy types more like) but I'm completely baffled that some of the stuff mentioned here actually happens.

Fucking crazy.

I mean, I've heard people stay stupid ignorant shit, but some of the stuff listed is just shameless to the point of the people being completely fucking oblivious p-zombies rather than, y'know, thinking and feeling human beings. Fucking crazy.

I'm all for the simple and basic: treat people like they're fucking human beings. It's way less complicated than a list of goddamn rules that people will just nitpick endlessly. Then again, some white-bread not-very-self-aware privileged fuckwads might actually need a fucking list to get them practice what should be intuitively obvious good behavior.

Dalek · Apr 23, 2018

I'm white and I would usually appreciate advice like this. That said the majority of these just seem like common sense-but that's me.

Is #38 a real thing? Do people "assume you want to be white"?!

TheGhost · Apr 23, 2018

Urban Scholar said:
You must understand why the author is angry and many of us feel the same way.

The snark and grade school mentality as you call it is a direct result of dealing with this for a lifetime.

Actually if you actually read my reply I said if something like this was implemented and taught in grade school....with out the attitude...it could resonate with the next generation.

BeeKaine · Apr 23, 2018

ahoyhoy said:
I'm hoping it's addressed towards people explicitly looking to have a kid with someone of another race?

I hope so too, and that the author doesn't have any unsavory opinions on race-mixing...

9/10, if I see a black/white, white/asian, black/asian, etc. couple, I pay no mind.

THErest · Apr 23, 2018

I don't understand 35.

I'm not sure I agree with 17. It needs more context. Or the definition is not what I thought.

I agree with the intention of the article.

It's "effect", not "affect". Effect change.

SageShinigami · Apr 23, 2018

skillzilla81 said:
"Progressive white folks" sure like to tell me about my experience.

Your problem is with the tone? Like PoC need to always be nice to try and educate the people who are interfering with us living our best lives? lol.

I see it from both angles. On the one hand there's a reason why we're angry. On the other if someone approaches me while pissed and they come at me sideways, I'm prolly not listening even if their complaints are valid.

Sinneslöschen said:
The hair thing, I am assuming that is for adults? Like if a 3 year old asks to touch a black persons hair is he a racist piece of shit or just a curious child?

Teach your kid not to ask that, BUT. It's usually not a child that does it.

Dipro said:
54. If you're trying to start a mixed raced family, sit down and deeply interrogate your intentions

what does this mean?

"Mixed race kids are so pretty. I'm gonna explicitly go out with PoC!"

Broadly: 100 Ways White People Can Make Life Less Frustrating For People of Color

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Started a revolution but the mic was unplugged