Yes, and part of that reason is that male victims were excluded from most criminal definitions of rape until recently, among a multitude of other reasons. What is the basis for your 99% of perpetrators are men claim? If it's based on criminal convictions and it doesn't include made to penetrate than it's simply not accurate data.
The thread is literally about male victims of sexual violence because it's often ignored. What is your goal here exactly, to come in and call the people talking about their experiences "exceptions," and to let us know that we should take it seriously but not as seriously as other forms of assault?
Yeah I totally understand, I've experienced the same thing after coming to terms with my own childhood abuse.
I'm gonna sound like a broken record, but have you seen a therapist or attended a support group? That's how I was able to speak of what happened to me for the first time. Telling family is hard and I've still only told one family member.
I would suggest that the way you have talked in this thread are the reason I never felt comfortable talking about it until recently. When I was in the military we had, I want to say the organisation was SACS? come, a guy in the crowd asked about male victims at the end when it wasn't mentioned the whole time. The way you respond is exactly how she did about everything he asked. Made me feel like it wasn't even worth bringing forward.
me either. I couldn't imagine telling my family, especially since the person is part of the family. I never see her, but still. I just can't bring myself to tell friends or family. Only my wife and the internet honestly.
That's part of why I made this thread, because I want this forum to be a safe space for people to talk about their experiences. Much like you, this forum is the only place other than with my therapist that I discuss the abuse I suffered.
Statscan puts the victim sex ratio at 7:1 but I don't think they keep track of the percentage of perpetrators. Plenty of advocacy organizations put the number as high as 99% - I doubt it is actually that high but it is probably closer to the truth than the 75/25 you're implying.
My point is very simple: You can advocate for male victims of sexual assault while acknowledging the reality that most of the victims are women. OP is trying to change the whole narrative on sexual assault in ways that are factually inaccurate and not helpful. Don't do that.
I think there's also the expectation that men should always be capable of defending themselves physically. Or that they wouldn't be immobilized by fear or other pressure. It's not just about physical strenght either, but that man couldn't be in a power dynamic with the perpetrator where they could be sexually taken advantage of. Maybe it's the male equilevant of "she was asking for it".
No they're not, they're highlighting an issue that's often not talked about and when it is, it's a joke or ridicule. But you're making this really weird. Nobody here thinks, has said or even implied that there are more male victims (except among inmates).
That's why I was saying thank you for making it. I mean it
I just don't understand how anyone could look at the fact that the FBI didn't even allow for men to be included in its definition of rape until fucking 2012 and not come to the conclusion that, at the very least, we need to reevaluate previous notions about sexual assault.
I've found it very difficult to gel with the therapists I've seen, and I'm too anxiety prone to try another. I can't remember the last time we discussed it within my family. Years ago.
The OP and studies therein concern sexual abuse of minors, where you could reasonably assert that males and females are equally vulnerable.
Yes but that doesn't answer the question. Where does the 99% number come from? If it's from criminal convictions then it isn't accurate. If it doesn't include made to penetrate then it is not accurate. The definition can be gender neutral on the surface but still focused on penetration, in which case it actually isn't gender neutral because many male rapes don't involve penetration of the victim. Nowhere has anyone challenged the idea that most victims are women; that's true. But 'most' doesn't mean 7:1 nor 99% male perpetrators, and if we are basing our data on victim reporting (which we should be, since most assaults are never going to be prosecuted) then those numbers simply don't add up.
I've finally gone back to see one about the extreme number of things I've been holding onto. It took awhile to find one I was comfortable with but I finally did last week and it's like exhaling properly for the first time in a decade. Consider emailing a few just to strike up some no-obligations communication and see if any stand out.
Some of the studies I cited are focused on minors, but not all of them. For example, the NCVS, NISVS, and BJS (all victim surveys) are not specific to minors.
Perhaps show a degree of tact considering the thread and some of the posts within.
I mean, literally STILL hasn't read the OP, but has to come in and call people "exceptions."
Some people got to feel a type of way as soon as men and people AMAB focus on issues affecting them.
As a woman who had the same experience as you only the other way around (I was extremely drunk and he was supposed to drive me home from the party but he drove me to his place and had sex with me and I didn't remember anything after waking up. My friends also didn't take me seriously at the time because he was an integral part of our friend group who a few had a crush on). I just want to say please please do not downplay what happened to you. It's just as fucked up and traumatic and stays with you just as long. I 100% understand your feelings saying this, though, because in my mind I feel hesitant to share my story in SA threads, because my rape wasn't violent. Basically, what happened to both of us is fucked up and in no way is what happened to me worse than what happened to you, because it affected our lives individually. I am extremely sorry that that happened to you.
Yeah sorry, my mistake. I'll edit my first post.
Thank you both. Just so everyone is clear: women are more likely to be victims of sexual abuse or assault than men. The rates are just much closer than what most people realize and than what decades of research has shown, because a lot of that research was flawed. No amount of research will ever show more male victims than female victims, because that's not reality. However, the reality is that there isn't a huge gulf between the number of male and female victims.
OP isn't doing anything of the sort.
I apologize for that. I truly don't want to make anyone feel worse about being a victim. I am just trying to explain why the status quo of sexual assault research and advocacy looks the way it does. I realize that advocacy groups being dismissive of men who complain about sexual assault is a real issue. It is difficult to reconcile that issue in light of the venerable chorus of voices that undermine the good work that these organizations do, particularly when they often undermine them on the basis that they pay too much attention to women (which is the group that primarily utilizes their services).
It does answer the question. Statscan explains how it gets 7:1, and it's pretty clear. For what it's worth, no one source (including victim reporting) is going to be completely accurate because of various issues (including one you mentioned - a non-uniform rate of reporting across different groups, like minorities).
The OP absolutely did not do that. Did you even read the OP, or were you too antsy to pop in here and perpetuate the harmful stereotypes it was trying to address? Don't do that.
The focus is on women because women are more likely to be victims, but also because men were excluded from most rape definitions until relatively recently and institutions still de-emphasize and downplay male victimization. Considering that they way institutions gather and publicize data has greatly contributed to the lack of awareness and underreporting of male victimization, they share blame here.
Can't argue with that. I mean "forcible carnal knowledge of a woman" was the literal definition of rape for a long time.
Multiple men? Jesus. Are you comfortable telling your story? Thats horrifying and I can't speak for other men but people I know are very sympathetic towards child rape. I don't think it's the same for adult males unfortunately.
No, it really doesn't. Explain the methodology and show the data if you are going to continue making the claim. I never suggested that one source is going to be accurate, I'm simply saying that victim reporting is more accurate a source than conviction rates because most assaults are not nor ever will be prosecuted. There are also multiple sources of victim reporting contained in the OP, feel free to look through them and explain why you think they are inaccurate. My problem with your posts in this thread, other than you misrepresenting the OP, is that you aren't offering explanations or evidence to back up your claims. I want to know the source of these claims, the methodology behind them, etc. and since you are a researcher who works on this topic then that really shouldn't be a problem for you.
Not right now, maybe another time. I think you'd be surprised at the lack of understanding, even for child abuse.
Sounds like something my mothers family would have said.
