I think it differs per person. What is flirting to one person might seem creepy to someone else.
You're right, him saying what he said isn't downright creepy or wrong. It depends on what the other person is comfortable with. During the conversation it seemed like they were both okay with talking the way they did. She also coud've blown the whole thing off at any point, true. It's just that if it truly was a no pressure situation like he was claiming, he wouldn't have talked about what he wanted when they would lay in bed together. Suddenly expectations are on the table. I think the whole thing was overwhelming to her and she reacted in a emotional way she wouldn't have if he wasn't so forward with his desires. To be quiet honest, I don't know. They both seemed really inexperienced in this type of conversation. They said things they shouldn't have, and expected things from each other which turned out to be false. Expectations were way off.
The way he reacted to this situation is what makes it bad. The Discord conversation isn't bad per se, just a little weird depending on who you ask. It's just in hindsight, after we know what happend, it looks creepy. Like he played her.
Tl;dr I agree with you. The conversation in itself isn't bad, but in hindsight it is.
The conversation was actually very bad.
You have to keep in mind the wider context.
The entire situation began with him offering her no strings plane tickets and accomodation to an event she is obviously not capable of attending on her own means. They don't seem to be anything but passing acquaintances (maybe not even that) prior to this convo.
So either this guy is incredibly generous or he has ulterior motives.
The way events have unfolded would suggest that he had ulterior motives. The convo he posted absolutely indicates that he wanted to get laid. He kept escalating the situation from, let's share a room until he ended up in "hey how do you feel about bondage territory".
Now obviously, she was going along with some of it but the
initial power dynamics are already screwed. She can't attend without his charity, her ability to move around once there is dependent on him and her reliance on him makes it difficult for her to say no.
I don't honestly believe he was doing this as part of some malicious plan. If he did, he wouldn't have posted the chat logs showing how skeezy his actions are. The sad truth is, he just doesn't recognise that what he does is wrong. The same goes for loads of other people who are rushing to defend him.
The fact remains however, that this guy was manipulating a woman into a situation to encourage her to have sex, when she backed out he threw her out of the room and threatened to strand her miles from home.
All of this is bad. Don't excuse the conversation because it gives ammo to the "well she was into over DMs" crowd. If anything the conversation is the most damning part. We don't know what happened in the room but his intentions are laid bare in those messages.
