Posting on behalf of Cyan.
Setre - The Murder of Loretta Robinson
Good concept, easily understandable setup. I'd consider putting the opening exposition in-scene instead, makes it easier to pull the reader in.
krazen - MTA
Solid sense of place and time, and I love the mirroring of the beginning and ending. Not sure how much actual story there is here, though. The lack of a specific POV hurts.
Chainsawkitten
A Meeting in the Cottage - Smoothly written and good dialogue that feels stiff in a convincing way, a way that tells us something about the characters. I got mixed up by the character names and wasn't sure quite what was supposed to have happened at the ending. Both with the ambiguous "miracle" bit and the guy redoing the handcuff.
Eternal Song - The Beast that Binds
I like the concept, and I think the vagueness of what the beast is a metaphor for does help you avoid some pitfalls. On the other hand, that lack of specificity also doesn't give much room to get a lot out of the story. The most interesting bit to me is the very end, that the character feels someone else has to free them. This says to me that they'll never get out of their (self-inflicted?) situation.
John Cyanbar - All In This Together
This was a lot of fun to write! Been a while since I've done a collab challenge, and after a few initial hiccups on coordination this one felt like it went very smoothly. I always enjoyed the sometimes strange and dark edge to John Dunbar's work back in the old challenges--my very favorite bit of this story is a Dunbar original that brings in some of that feeling (I think you can probably guess which moment this is). Thanks for working with me, Mr. Dunbar, I really enjoyed it!
Dedication Through Light - Pulling Strings
The string is an interesting device, pulling your character into things and making him be active even when he doesn't want to. Structurally, it pulls our MC into two relationships, but you might be better served with just the one. As is, the story feels more like two disconnected halves than a complete story in itself.
Karateka - The Wildest Dream
The first half of the story has a consistent sense of tension that pulls us through--the unreality and general sense of confusion actually helps with this. I'm not sure what I'm meant to get out of the ending. The fact that the girl's POV continues suggests it's not just a dream but some strange fantastical thing actually happening, I'm just not sure I get what. Two moments jarred me from the story. First, the boy having to figure out he's in a forest. He can't see, but his sense of proprioception would tell him he's on uneven natural ground. He would smell dirt and growing things. He would hear insects and animals and the wind. Being outside impinges on all the senses. Second, the girl/woman. At first she's a girl he knows from school and spoke to once. Then suddenly she's a married woman. Clearing these up would help smooth out the story.
Nezumike - How's the Weather
Aww, the two AIs are so dang adorable! I was actually very sad when I thought poor Craig had died. I got rused! I liked the ongoing format, but it would've been really helpful to have noticeably different designations so we could tell the difference between speakers (i.e. have stella's designation start with "SLAI" or something else different enough from CRAI to easily tell at a glance). Usually the voice was enough but I still got confused once or twice.
Dong Mas - Meal-ing Half-way
Very clever! I don't think Appazongoogbook would ever be defeated so easily, but it's a nice thought. The clashing personalities of Mack and Busch make for a really fun read. I think my one criticism would be that we don't get enough of Mack's POV--it's Busch most of the way. And since she's the one with the plan it also doesn't feel like the characters are being active or really have a goal. I think you could have found a way to give them a stronger proactive feel without giving away the reveal.
Votes:
1. Dong Mas - "Meal-ing Half-way"
2. Nezumike - "How's the Weather"
3. Karateka - "The Wildest Dream"