Good job mate.
I should really.
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Creative Writing Challenge #37: Endings
- Thread starter Plum
- Start date
Good job mate.
I should really.
I highly doubt I'll get anything in either. I liked my plan, but I've been gone all week and just got back yesterday to learn I didn't have the rest of the day to finish. Now it's gone a decent ways beyond the entry period, and I have an extra set of people around.
Sorry to be such a disappointment.
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This was great! I've never had sleep paralysis, but if this story speaks to that reality, that's pretty terrifying o_0 your descriptions were really strong - they gave me a feeling like I was reading Lovecraft (in terms of writing style)
I think a possible area of improvement would be to remove some "nonsense" words out from the voice you create. I don't know if I'm using the right terminology for this, but I have the same issue with my writing.
What I mean is that in this paragraph:
There's a couple of words like "See", "so" and "yeah" that aren't doing anything for you, and I think they take away from your narration with their interruptions. I think taking them out gives a nicer flow
That being said, I really enjoyed your story :)
Despite not being a native English speaker, you wrote better than most people I know who speak English natively :D I didn't find any serious grammar errors, just a use of "Dramatic" that didn't need to be capitalized, and some interesting uses of comma-seaparated lists I thought were more stylistic choices, but might not hold up in a writing exam.
I liked your story! At first, I was confused when you started tossing around more modern terms like "default option" and "logistics" when at first you were talking about times of antiquity, but then I think I got it, and I started picturing
the creator character working in an office setting, like the creative department of a production studio.
I don't feel like your story had a lot of finality to it, though. Felt like it needed just a bit more to feel like this chapter was done. I'm not too sure I got the ending footnote, either, but that might just be me.
I liked this one, regardless!
Sorry, everyone, I got a little eager last night to read everyone's submissions and to share my thoughts on them.
Do we do that in this thread? Or do we wait until the voting is over to give thoughts on each other's stories?
Do we do that in this thread? Or do we wait until the voting is over to give thoughts on each other's stories?
You do it whenever you want!
Voting later is only done per person, it's not a rule. You can vote now.
Ah sounds good! Then I'll be doing more reading later tonight :]
Sorry writers, I don't have the time to offer thoughts on the writing. Everyone had something unique to offer and it was a tough pool this time.
1st: Staffy with The Last Rest
2nd: Nezumi with On the reading of cards
3rd: Plum with The last elephant.
Cheers!
1st: Staffy with The Last Rest
2nd: Nezumi with On the reading of cards
3rd: Plum with The last elephant.
Cheers!
Wish I had time for feedback, but life's busy. Lots of weather imagery this time around. Gee, wonder why this might be.
1.) Ashes
2.) Conker
3.) Plum
1.) Ashes
2.) Conker
3.) Plum
Me when someone says they liked my writing.
But seriously, it brings me so much joy to see someone likes what I created, having just started to practice this.
EDIT:
Here are my picks. Putting these three in order was a difficult task. They all had a somber tone I really enjoyed a lot and strangely enough, two of them had wrinkly giants in them. But purely on a gut feeling I would put them in this order.
3rd spot Conkersbadfurday - Still Breeze
2nd spot Plum - The Last Elephant
1st spot Ashes - Rain Falling on a Tin Roof
Last edited:
1st: Staffy - The Last Rest
2nd: Nezumi - On the reading of cards
3rd: Ashes - Rain Falling on a Tin Roof
2nd: Nezumi - On the reading of cards
3rd: Ashes - Rain Falling on a Tin Roof
sorry i missed this one, lots of stuff and i feel so bad for not reading either but just out of it, please let me know when next one is up. Ill do my best to participate. Sorry.
Status as most senior member of this group has hereby been revoked :D
(Especially so since Ashes resurfaced, I guess)
Thanks for the feedback!
I liked your story but I think it would have been better if you had not revealed the fate of the protagonist in the beginning imo. the end would be a good surprise after the protagonist acted like an asshole the whole trip.
Here my votes
1. The Last Rest
2. Insomnia
3. On the reading of cards
These stories were such a treat :) I wasn't expecting such an inspired set of short stories, so I'll definitely be back for another challenge, since I can learn a lot about writing well from the group here!
My top 3 are as follows:
Plum - The Last Elephant (that killed me on the inside in such a good way)
Conkersbadfurday - Still Breeze (I found the premise very interesting, and in such a small set of words you fleshed out a world so quickly)
Pickman - Insomnia (the descriptions of the sleep paralysis were engrossing!)
Thanks for the feedback! In hindsight, the in media res opening probably does kill my momentum right out of the gate lol
My top 3 are as follows:
Plum - The Last Elephant (that killed me on the inside in such a good way)
Conkersbadfurday - Still Breeze (I found the premise very interesting, and in such a small set of words you fleshed out a world so quickly)
Pickman - Insomnia (the descriptions of the sleep paralysis were engrossing!)
Thanks for the feedback! In hindsight, the in media res opening probably does kill my momentum right out of the gate lol
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Results!
1) StaffyManasse - The Last Rest
2) Conker - Still Breeze / Nezumi - On the Reading of Cards
3) Ashes - Rain Falling on a Tin Roof
Vote Count
Staffy - 11 (3)
Conker - 8 (1)
Nezumi - 8 (1)
Ashes - 7 (2)
Plum - 7 (1)
Pickman - 6
Oreo - 1
Congratulations, StaffyManasse! Now get creative and come up with a great prompt :P
1) StaffyManasse - The Last Rest
2) Conker - Still Breeze / Nezumi - On the Reading of Cards
3) Ashes - Rain Falling on a Tin Roof
Vote Count
Staffy - 11 (3)
Conker - 8 (1)
Nezumi - 8 (1)
Ashes - 7 (2)
Plum - 7 (1)
Pickman - 6
Oreo - 1
Congratulations, StaffyManasse! Now get creative and come up with a great prompt :P
I don't know what to say other than thank you all! This is really humbling and makes me want to push myself more.
New op coming in soonish.
New op coming in soonish.