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Dark Souls is a Powerful Metaphor for Depression
- Thread starter Elodes
- Start date
That is an interesting thought, because in life when you meet new people you have to open up to them before knowing if they will be good or bad for you, so same question, is the risk worth the reward ? you have to try to know the answer.
Agree completely. Dark souls was a savior for me too in other ways as well. Its why i hold it in such high regard and get sad wheb ppl bash 2 for it lol. Ds1 and ds2 helped me a lot.
This ^ I was really drawn in by your writing style and the point you put across, good work @ OP
Toggle Escape for stunlock. If only you could Toggle Backstab Depression.
Fantastic OP. Dark Souls has been my comfort food for years now. I was depressed and became obsessed with it when it first came out. But last few years have been very positive for me, I still play it regularly. Gonna fall in love again with the remaster, but I will be in a healthy frame of mind while I do it.
OP
OP
Thank you for this, JB. I'm doing much better now, happily :)
That makes two of us! I'm excited to share more of my thoughts with this forum in the future. Thanks for following!
I've read that piece as well -- thanks for bringing it up! The idea of hollowing as representing dementia -- the tear of time on the mind -- is a remarkable interpretation; it fits well with the series' longstanding idea that time (or rather, decay -- of minds; of places; of stories; of societies; of people) is humanity's great villain.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on Rain World. I'll take every chance I can to shill this game; it's a staggering artistic achievement, and its muted response is, in my opinion, one of the greatest disappointments in gaming media of the last decade.
I haven't played Dark Souls 3 too much. The pains of being a laptop gamer! I do recall reading a genuinely stunning piece on Dark Souls' storytelling methods though, which focuses specifically on Dark Souls 3's ending. I'll put this in bold so that other people will see this as well -- it's a stellar piece of writing: https://withaterriblefate.com/2017/08/21/why-its-a-good-thing-that-dark-souls-isnt-coming-back/
Paging Chettlar here -- you'll probably find the above piece interesting.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Iva. It sounds like what you needed was exactly the opposite of a mirror to your experiences; does that sound accurate? If that's the case, then Dark Souls would surely be the worst game to play! I'm glad you shared your perspective; it's a reminder that we do indeed need both types of representation in gaming -- that which offers identification, and that which offers inspiration.
I hope you're doing better now!
Thanks to you too, DL, for sharing your story! It's wonderful that you got so much out of medication. I'd love to hear what games you connected with in the way I did with Dark Souls...?
Thank you! Journey is a good suggestion. It didn't quite land for me, personally; while playing it, I couldn't help but feel that its salient gameplay mechanic -- the anonymous co-op -- was implemented in a more interesting and more multifaceted way in Dark Souls. But at the end of the day it's just a game that I simply didn't connect with. I know many others who have, and I'm glad for them, and for you :)
Thank you, Blackbird. I'm flattered to hear that I could give you such hope.
Thank you, Sawneeks! I've sadly not played Bloodborne; I don't own a PS4, and I'm not quite willing to buy one just for a single game. Bloodborne sure makes a good counter-argument, though.
Over the years, I've not quite been able to withstand the temptation to read up on it, and what whispers I've heard -- of knowledge and madness, of horror and religion and menstrual blood -- make me ever more confident in my own interpretation of Dark Souls; I feel like the careful changes From made in Bloodborne to the formula, the content, and the structure, suggest that they knew exactly what they were doing in the first place.
But until I play the game, I'll never know for sure :')
(I have played Celeste, by the way! Lovely game.)
It's such a lovely video that I'd put it at the end of my post ;) Thanks for sharing it though; I'll take any excuse to watch it again!
Well, if anyone from the industry is reading this... ;)
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OP
OP
Thank you so much for this incredible post. Do you mind if I quote it in my second post at the beginning? -- and while we're on this topic; I adore your posts about the nature of time within the Dark Souls series; can I quote these [Link & Link], too? (Spoilered, of course.)
To address your point: I did myself also notice this theme of empowerment; that Dark Souls, through robbing the player of so much, is in fact a reconstruction of the idea of a power fantasy. That is to say, like almost all games, it most definitely is one; but I think it's one of the few games that managed to make it feel genuine -- deserved, exactly as you so eloquently describe here.
There are two reasons why I didn't mention it in my OP. The first is --- I forgot! I tried to put three years' worth of thought into a single post; at some point I just had to stop coming up with new ideas and focus on shaping what I had into a good structure, and this idea happened to not come up.
The second reason is that, although I intellectually understand that Dark Souls works for people in this way -- and I'm joyous and inspired that you found such strength in it yourself! -- it didn't manage to do it for me. Despite its wonderful rawness, something just didn't click. My victories neither elated nor inspired me; my progress felt, for some reason, not my own. It was actually really frustrating -- here was a game that clearly came so close, but it just failed to do it for me.
The game that did it for me, of course, was Rain World. The rawness you describe here, is stronger in Rain World than in any game I've ever played. It asks so much of the player, and gives them so little. It's exceedingly uncaring. I'll talk more about this in a future post; but I think one of the key improvements Rain World makes, is that it removes the ability of the player to depend on its world's stable nature. (There are many more wondrous and unique things that Rain World does, but that's for another time.)
It goes like this: The world of Dark Souls is the same in every cycle of death. Rain World's is fluid; it changes continuously. In Dark Souls, you may 'cheat' the game by distinguishing patterns, behaviours; by learning these, then learning solutions, and then just mechanically applying these solutions to the same problems over and over. I think this was why I didn't feel like it was me succeeding at these things; rather, it was simply that I'd gone through the motions so often that there was no way I wouldn't manage.
In Rain World, you cannot rely on such knowledge. Enemy locations are random; enemy behaviour is extremely erratic. You can never rely on static knowledge; the only thing you can do is improvise. It's something that no game has ever really asked me to do, and it's the lesson I most dearly needed.
At any rate --- thank you for bringing up this aspect of Dark Souls. It's wonderful to read how it has changed so many people -- each in different ways.
I can't say much on this topic myself; I got 90% of my understanding of the story, from online wiki's, forums, and playthroughs. (I still long to play Bloodborne one day, so that I may know what it's like to figure out such a story for myself!)
I do wonder, though -- when you say you understood everything pretty well, what level of detail are we talking about? For instance, to take Artorias...
The following facts about Artorias are clearly noted:
And then there are of course the greater narrative strands: The way he symbolizes the typical tale of "Hero saves princess"; the way he deconstructs it, through his failure; the way your success allows you to re-enact this classic tale in a world that otherwise denounces it; the way this tale takes place in the past, symbolizing how the contemporary world within Dark Souls has grown past this -- emphasizing that there will be no easy heroic deeds here; the way this ties into the idea that was also mentioned above, of Dark Souls being in many ways a meta-commentary on old videogames as a whole -- videogames which very classically, and specifically within the context of the Zelda games (themselves obviously very relevant to Dark Souls!), have always revolved around saving the princess; and so forth, and so forth...
The first five facts are easy to deduce. The rest is disparate sentences, strewn across seventy hours of gameplay, which are themselves often experienced across real months, if not years. I don't find it so strange that very few people can follow this without a guide to structure their thoughts with.
- A sealed door carries his name
- A dog carries his ring
- He traversed the Abyss (though what's the Abyss?)
- You kill him in the past
- You stop the Abyss by defeating some seemingly unrelated dude
- His grave is in Darkroot Garden, and was sealed off
- It is being defended by a group who want to prevent people from robbing his grave
- There is a dog who guards his grave. For loyalty? For love?
- The ring (s)he drops, tells you that Artorias traversed the Abyss
- There is another ring nearby, which belonged to Hornet and which lies on her corpse. Why did she die here? For loyalty? -- but would she follow this to her death? For love, then?
- Artorias crossed the Abyss, but why?
And then there are of course the greater narrative strands: The way he symbolizes the typical tale of "Hero saves princess"; the way he deconstructs it, through his failure; the way your success allows you to re-enact this classic tale in a world that otherwise denounces it; the way this tale takes place in the past, symbolizing how the contemporary world within Dark Souls has grown past this -- emphasizing that there will be no easy heroic deeds here; the way this ties into the idea that was also mentioned above, of Dark Souls being in many ways a meta-commentary on old videogames as a whole -- videogames which very classically, and specifically within the context of the Zelda games (themselves obviously very relevant to Dark Souls!), have always revolved around saving the princess; and so forth, and so forth...
The first five facts are easy to deduce. The rest is disparate sentences, strewn across seventy hours of gameplay, which are themselves often experienced across real months, if not years. I don't find it so strange that very few people can follow this without a guide to structure their thoughts with.
Brilliant post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts OP. Darks Souls... Such a special IP for me :)
Not at all! It's something I'd love to convey to more people.
Lol I can't blame you. There's a lot of aspects to it.
For me that "cheating" just felt like me outsmarting the game. But I see what you mean. I also think Dark Souls is very good at quietly guiding the player without them knowing, but that might be more obvious to some than others. I also never really consciously memorized patterns in Dark Souls (which is why I reject the popular notion by some who haven't played that it's a game all about pattern memorization! You can reduce it that way but you needn't do so. At least you needn't really think that much about it).
I will have to check out rain world for sure.
Back to the point about it affecting me, I think one thing that drove some of those lessons home for me actually came later on. It's sort of unrelated and yet my experience with dark souls was a stepping stone to getting there. I had this group of friends from my drawing classes. We all had our various share of physical and mental health problems and for me, I felt like I was given a safe space to be. I could hang out, and not get judged by these friends.
Unfortunately, while I thought it might be good for me, it took some time for me to realize it wasn't. While it's important to have your mental health understood, I was not actually benefitting from this group. I was wallowing. It wasn't my fault that I was depressed, but at the same time, I was the only one who could do something about it. I was enabling myself to wallow, instead of advancing. I'd kind of forgotten some of the lessons I'd learned before. A number of somewhat unrelated things happened that sort of pulled me away from the group momentarily, and in that time I started to realize that my depression had not gotten better. I had just suppressed it. As I separated and started fighting again, I started to notice that I was subtly over long periods of time gaining control of my depression. When I caught back up with some of my friends, I was astonished to see how static they'd remained, while I had felt tremendous growth.
I think the lesson I kind of took away from that was that I needed to fight, not just in a game, but in real life. And I already knew from that disparity, and from my experience from Dark Souls, that I could. It's enabled me to help many other people out as well. I mean, I can be a pretty weak willed person when all is said and done, stubborn as I may be sometimes. Also I'm pretty bad at video games lol. So. If I can do it, so can other people. Both in regards to Dark Souls, and depression.
In regards to your other post, I was just referring to the story of the main game. I feel like a while ago I had worked out a really good storyline that basically fit everything in regards to Artorias and the Abyss. But I can't recall just atm. I do know that he traversed the abyss to fight the abyss walkers, including the four kings by establishing a covenant, or something. That's really fuzzy. The sealer you get the key from in New Londo will tell you some about it.
As far as Bloodborne, yes yes yes do play it. The "lore" is really more a part of the story. It has a fantastic mystery that you can work out as you play. One of the best games I have ever played. Maybe the best. I love it so much. The story is so beautifully told and the clues are so brilliantly set out that I really feel that I had basically worked out the general history of the world, and I never read anything like Paleblood Hunt or whatever that fan essay is called. Be sure to play the DLC. I felt things playing through that.
OP
OP
Done! Thanks :)
That's very fair. I wouldn't hold it against Dark Souls here. I do think that 'rawness' is important to works like these, and for instance, I get the impression that Demon's Souls has this quality moreso than Dark Souls does; but Dark Souls is its own thing, and absolutely does its job well enough. I don't see how it could incorporate a world like Rain World's without becoming an entirely different game, so I respect it for what it is :)
And yes, please do check out Rain World! It's the rawest, most demanding, most thematically ambitious game I've ever played through. It has the most amazing highs. I'd love to hear your thoughts if you ever get around to it! :)
This is inspiring to hear. I'm really happy you found these lessons in the game!
Oh, believe me, I've been flip-flopping on whether or not I want to buy a PS4 for five solid years now. Ahhhh Bloodborne! It and its DLC are so on my list -- but, you know. Money, and all that.
I will absolutely play it some day though. In fifteen years, when someone's selling their fourth-hand PS4 for fifty dollars --- I'll be there, stat.
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Am i the only one who thinks that DS difficulty is overrated?
If you are used to difficult (and old) games, it's not that hard.
If you are used to difficult (and old) games, it's not that hard.
this is one of my favorite takes on the game so far. and it makes my first remastered run a lot more enjoyable. thanks for the write-up, op!
gonna need to share this with a few of my friends.
gonna need to share this with a few of my friends.
1) this could be said for plenty of difficult games and 2) not sure if this is the right thread for this.
100%
As someone who is going through severe depression, this is just-I don't even have the words.
Thank you, Elodes , from the bottom of my heart.
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This section specifically hit me deep. Thank you for the wonderful OP.
You know how grossly united and helpul is the comunity is when there is a unspoken rule to greet everyone you summon and your summon does it too. there are no words or dialogue , just a happy host doing the roar emote after killing that pesky boss
I always viewed the game as more about entropy than anything else, but I can see it. Thanks for the thread OP, interesting look for sure.
I won't claim to have been diagnosed as being depressed, nor would I claim to understand such a horrible disease, but I absolutely agree with all your points, OP. Dark Souls is one of the best games that people can escape to and with such a lovely community, you feel that you are never alone.
BTW, this is probably the most well-written OP I have ever read on Era/GAF. Kudos.
No doubt many of its other themes
would resonate well with people who suffer from depression. Highly recommended.
BTW, this is probably the most well-written OP I have ever read on Era/GAF. Kudos.
Good shout. My current GOTY was one that I could really relate too in terms of having self-belief even in the dimmest of circumstances. That one interaction in the game
where you're pretending to keep a feather afloat - taught me a new technique to cope with my severe anxiety - I used it just before my final exams recently.
particularly the interactions with your doppelganger
This is a great OP, and I'll read it when I've beaten the remaster. As someone who has also struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life, I would also recommend Celeste. It has a similarly challenging yet motivating gameplay loop and a more overt narrative that's driven by mental health problems.
Buying this tonight.
OP
OP
Thank you for writing this. It means a lot to me to get such warm feedback from readers. I wish you strength with what you're going through! I hope there's someone you can reach out to. I'm here, if you want to talk.
Oh, and enjoy Celeste! :)
Hah, yes! I always love this aspect of Dark Souls' co-op. Even invaders greet you. And it's always, like --- some people are formal with it and bow to you; others are really enthousiastic and jump up in the air shaking their weapon; still others are funny edgelords through the use of the "What is it"-gesture and the like. But no matter what they choose to do -- no matter if it's valiant or edgy -- they always play a role. They always tell you ahead of time, "This is the person I am going to be. This is who I will be to you." It's this --- this attempt at connecting --- it really gets me. I'd guesstimate that only 5% of people I've played online with, didn't join into this game. No one remains anonymous; everyone gives a little piece of themselves to you. It's really lovely stuff. It never fails to make me happy -- when I'm playing some dumb-ass violent game about swords and magic and whatnot, and I'm dressed silly as heck, and someone else comes in and they've got a freaking treasure chest for a head, and we both up jump up and down, giddy with joy, because, hey, it's jolly cooperation, y'all!
Gosh, this community warms my heart.
Thank you for the kind words! Yes, I was quite struck by that section from Celeste myself. Haven't really used the tip myself, but it's definitely the kind of thing where it was like, oh, duh, of course games can straight-up teach you practical things like that. And that's actually really great! Yeah, Celeste's all right :)
------
For posterity: I wanted to note something really lovely that's been happening now, around the remaster's release.
The first goal you'll receive in Dark Souls is to "ring the two bells" -- a goal that will guide you through the first third of your journey. Whenever you are in hearing distance of either bell, you may hear them ring in your world if a player elsewhere in the world is ringing them right now.
Well --- here, then, is a very special experience:
And there are summoning signs all over the place, too. To quote Ogs from the OT:
Having never played any Soul's game on release, it was nuts just seeing this many summon signs in one place -
Many of us have only played Dark Souls back when the online matching algorithms on PC were terrible; frequently we'd see only a single summoning sign at most.
But here's the version of Dark Souls that we were meant to see: A world that is alive with people, where you may always count on the help and guidance from your fellow players. For a brief, unique moment in time, this world is not a lonely one.
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Holy shit, OP. I thankfully don't suffer from depression, but this was still a very poignant read. Thank you.
I can relate so much to this op. What an amazing read. I kinda felt the same way with Bloodborne when i played it the first time. Playing the souls games seems to keep my depression in check and I was having fun at the same time even though it's a single player game.
This deserves the thread of the year if there is one.
This deserves the thread of the year if there is one.
Nice post. The story of my life.
Soulsborne and horror-games are the kind of catharcis I turn towards when I want to escape my angst/depression/stressful thoughts.
It makes you feel alive going through digital hardships rather than u-be-softing through life like a positive-minded non-gamer (mind my exaggeration)
Soulsborne and horror-games are the kind of catharcis I turn towards when I want to escape my angst/depression/stressful thoughts.
It makes you feel alive going through digital hardships rather than u-be-softing through life like a positive-minded non-gamer (mind my exaggeration)
A cool take on Dark Souls.
I'd like to piggy-back an idea I had about Dark Souls but have been too lazy to flesh out in full. Someone else can give'er go if you want.
It's basically taking the OP's direction as Dark Souls as a metaphor, but not for depression specifically, but more for the Buddhist concept of Dukkha. To prove my aforementioned laziness, I'll just post the general concept from Wikipedia and let people decide for themselves if Dukkha is indeed the central theme of Dark Souls:
Within the Buddhist sutras, dukkha is divided in three categories:
I'd like to piggy-back an idea I had about Dark Souls but have been too lazy to flesh out in full. Someone else can give'er go if you want.
It's basically taking the OP's direction as Dark Souls as a metaphor, but not for depression specifically, but more for the Buddhist concept of Dukkha. To prove my aforementioned laziness, I'll just post the general concept from Wikipedia and let people decide for themselves if Dukkha is indeed the central theme of Dark Souls:
Within the Buddhist sutras, dukkha is divided in three categories:
- Dukkha-dukkha, the dukkha of painful experiences. This includes the physical and mental sufferings of birth, aging, illness, dying; distress from what is not desirable.
- Viparinama-dukkha, the dukkha of the changing nature of all things. This includes the frustration of not getting what you want.
- Sankhara-dukkha, the dukkha of conditioned experience. This includes "a basic unsatisfactoriness pervading all existence, all forms of life, because all forms of life are changing, impermanent and without any inner core or substance."[web 1] On this level, the term indicates a lack of satisfaction, a sense that things never measure up to our expectations or standards.
- Birth is dukkha, aging is dukkha, illness is dukkha, death is dukkha;
- Sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, and despair are dukkha;
- Association with the unbeloved is dukkha; separation from the loved is dukkha;
- Not getting what is wanted is dukkha.
- In conclusion, the five clinging-aggregates are dukkha.
No amount of therapy or medication has done much good for me in the last 2 decades and feel permanently damaged by all the pills over the years.
Instead of fun, games (and everything else) feel more like distractions, and in that way it helps by not letting you get internal dialogue started, but its also still possible to understand talents and qualities even if they don't offer a significant chemical response.
Never really got too much into most of the Souls games, but Bloodborne seemed to more appropriately describe what ive gone through with psychosis and frequent nightmares and fever dreams.
Ultimately I think games cannot even begin to hope to portray that kind of internal suffering with any real effectiveness to people who cant relate to it. If you haven't been there you will more likely than not be telling us that its just a mindset, or to get over it.
Instead of fun, games (and everything else) feel more like distractions, and in that way it helps by not letting you get internal dialogue started, but its also still possible to understand talents and qualities even if they don't offer a significant chemical response.
Never really got too much into most of the Souls games, but Bloodborne seemed to more appropriately describe what ive gone through with psychosis and frequent nightmares and fever dreams.
Ultimately I think games cannot even begin to hope to portray that kind of internal suffering with any real effectiveness to people who cant relate to it. If you haven't been there you will more likely than not be telling us that its just a mindset, or to get over it.
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Interesting read.
I'm far from being depressed person (more like an asshole tbh)
But I really hate story that you are empowered, the chosen one, the etc.
From zero to hero are tolerable, but other wise...*puke*
Dark Souls series extremely fit my taste, you are nobody doing not so important tasks for whatever reason.
That's life I'm living for.
I'm far from being depressed person (more like an asshole tbh)
But I really hate story that you are empowered, the chosen one, the etc.
From zero to hero are tolerable, but other wise...*puke*
Dark Souls series extremely fit my taste, you are nobody doing not so important tasks for whatever reason.
That's life I'm living for.
That was an amazingly well-written and insightful piece. Such a pleasure to read. Thank you, OP.
As someone who's briefly battled through depression (for now), it's fascinating to read how Dark Souls connected with you. I suppose on the surface and through imagery alone, you can see the correspondence to mental illness, but how you've taken depression, defined it with those 5 very relatable thoughts and interwoven them through those highly perceptive reasons to demonstrate your point is seriously impressive. Now I know there may be more interpretations, but yours is so convincing that it makes me think the game was actually designed with depression as a core concept.
For me personally, just playing any good game while depressed helped. I'm not sure if it was purely an escape or if the games I played genuinely helped to change my perspective on life but games were certainly a big part of my recovery I'd say.
I haven't completed Dark Souls (gave up and ironically and unrelatedly spiralled into depression shortly after), but after reading your post I feel compelled to buy and play through the remaster :)
As someone who's briefly battled through depression (for now), it's fascinating to read how Dark Souls connected with you. I suppose on the surface and through imagery alone, you can see the correspondence to mental illness, but how you've taken depression, defined it with those 5 very relatable thoughts and interwoven them through those highly perceptive reasons to demonstrate your point is seriously impressive. Now I know there may be more interpretations, but yours is so convincing that it makes me think the game was actually designed with depression as a core concept.
For me personally, just playing any good game while depressed helped. I'm not sure if it was purely an escape or if the games I played genuinely helped to change my perspective on life but games were certainly a big part of my recovery I'd say.
I haven't completed Dark Souls (gave up and ironically and unrelatedly spiralled into depression shortly after), but after reading your post I feel compelled to buy and play through the remaster :)
OP
OP
You might be really, really interested in playing Rain World. It plays a lot with this sort of Buddhist ideas in incredibly interesting and elegant ways. Thanks for the write-up; I'll look into these concepts before I write my Rain World thread.
Thank you, CosmicRomancer ! I'm not fully convinced myself that the game was designed around being a metaphor for depression; but most other interpretations seem to just forget all the carefully-designed online elements, which seems to me like a strike against their theories. Like, who would ever think to add a live commenting system to a dark fantasy adventure just for fun? No way --- they had greater goals with this stuff.
I definitely feel you; playing games in general can be a great way to escape from life when you're in a darker spot; and the relief this brings can absolutely help people figure things out for themselves. Anyway, I can very much recommend the remaster -- I hear it's a great version of what I obviously think is a pretty cool game ;-)
Yes, perhaps a slight overstatement on my part haha. Each interpretation is personal and is neither right nor wrong but it's more a testament to how well-thought-out your piece was. Yours just made perfect sense to me that it wouldn't surprise me at all.
I'll be sure to look up the other interpretations, but you're right -- your argument included the online elements as a key component and very convincingly so! Especially the humanity metaphor.
Also, good to know you recommend the remaster! I look forward to playing it.
I never got very far into the first Dark Souls, but I have beaten the two and Bloodborne. I've been depressed for quite a long time now. I'm very unhappy in my life, and I have been for as long as I can renember. It's been so long since I was genuinely happy that I feel like there is a part of me that has been permanently broken.
This past Thursday, after being within her company for 17 years, since she was 16 weeks old, I had to put my beloved cat Oreo to rest. She had a stroke the Sunday before, and after taking her to the emergency vet and seeing what they could do for her, they said there was really no hope for her. She couldn't walk anymore, and while she was trying to move, it was a struggle. I lost my dad when I was 17, and I really only have 13 years worth of memories with him, and they have been fading as time has gone on these last 7 years. I remember the day I brought Oreo home, the first night she slept on my chest, how she comforted me when I moved out on my own for the first time and felt more alone than I ever had before.
She was my best friend, and losing her has been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I knew I would be sad when she was gone. I didn't know that I would feel so utterly defeated and broken and lost. I'm not one to cry very much, but I have been crying ever since I had to say goodbye. A lot of people underestimate the impact our pets can have in our lives, we take them for granted and they ask so little in return. My life is never going to the be same. As much as I have been dealing with depression in my life, this is the absolute lowest I have ever felt. My world is an even darker place without her. I don't expect many to sympathize. Some will probably think I'm being dramatic, but it doesn't feel that way for me.
Maybe this isn't the right thread, but it was the only one I was able to see regarding depression. I haven't done much of anything, let alone gaming, since I lost her. Reading your thread makes me want to try and get into the game, but I feel too exhausted to face the trial of it.
Thank you for the thread and the write up. I hope all who are suffering who have posted here will be able to get through it
This past Thursday, after being within her company for 17 years, since she was 16 weeks old, I had to put my beloved cat Oreo to rest. She had a stroke the Sunday before, and after taking her to the emergency vet and seeing what they could do for her, they said there was really no hope for her. She couldn't walk anymore, and while she was trying to move, it was a struggle. I lost my dad when I was 17, and I really only have 13 years worth of memories with him, and they have been fading as time has gone on these last 7 years. I remember the day I brought Oreo home, the first night she slept on my chest, how she comforted me when I moved out on my own for the first time and felt more alone than I ever had before.
She was my best friend, and losing her has been the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. I knew I would be sad when she was gone. I didn't know that I would feel so utterly defeated and broken and lost. I'm not one to cry very much, but I have been crying ever since I had to say goodbye. A lot of people underestimate the impact our pets can have in our lives, we take them for granted and they ask so little in return. My life is never going to the be same. As much as I have been dealing with depression in my life, this is the absolute lowest I have ever felt. My world is an even darker place without her. I don't expect many to sympathize. Some will probably think I'm being dramatic, but it doesn't feel that way for me.
Maybe this isn't the right thread, but it was the only one I was able to see regarding depression. I haven't done much of anything, let alone gaming, since I lost her. Reading your thread makes me want to try and get into the game, but I feel too exhausted to face the trial of it.
Thank you for the thread and the write up. I hope all who are suffering who have posted here will be able to get through it
Beautiful and very well thought out read. This should be made into an actual article somewhere.
I entered the thread intending to hot-take "I wish depression was as easy to conquer as Dark Souls", but I now realize you mean "metaphor" in a different, more intimate sense.
In any case, Dark Souls is a game that has changed so many lives. The effect it had on mine was far less dramatic than many of the examples in this thread, but still, it awakened a dormant craving for challenge I had not felt in years, if not decades. It remains one of my most beloved games of all time.
I love my cat RatĂłn (the one in my avatar, sleeping right now at my side, as he always is) so much it would be hard to put into words. I fear the day he will be gone more than the day of my own eventual death, I just can't imagine life without him. Sometimes I just think about that day and I nearly cry. He's 8 years old so hopefully it's still some ways off, but still, it's unbearable.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm deeply, deeply sorry for your loss, and I wish I could do anything to ease it. Take confort in the fact that she was deeply beloved and extremely happy by your side, and lived a long, full life. Cats are such wonderful friends, and so underapreciated and misunderstood by those that don't know them.
I entered the thread intending to hot-take "I wish depression was as easy to conquer as Dark Souls", but I now realize you mean "metaphor" in a different, more intimate sense.
In any case, Dark Souls is a game that has changed so many lives. The effect it had on mine was far less dramatic than many of the examples in this thread, but still, it awakened a dormant craving for challenge I had not felt in years, if not decades. It remains one of my most beloved games of all time.
I love my cat RatĂłn (the one in my avatar, sleeping right now at my side, as he always is) so much it would be hard to put into words. I fear the day he will be gone more than the day of my own eventual death, I just can't imagine life without him. Sometimes I just think about that day and I nearly cry. He's 8 years old so hopefully it's still some ways off, but still, it's unbearable.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm deeply, deeply sorry for your loss, and I wish I could do anything to ease it. Take confort in the fact that she was deeply beloved and extremely happy by your side, and lived a long, full life. Cats are such wonderful friends, and so underapreciated and misunderstood by those that don't know them.
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Thank you. The hardest part has been dealing with the decision to put her down, and to not let her live out the rest of her days at home in my arms. I feel like I betrayed her, and I'm not sure I'll ever get over that. RatĂłn looks very sweet, and I hope the two of you are going to get to make plenty of memories and bond even more for the next 10+ years. Cats have always been the best companions for a person like me, and I am glad to know I'm not the only one who has such a strong bond with theirs.
Oh, you definitely are not the only one. The missus has a cat rescue and adoption service / page, and she works at a local cat cafe. We currently have nine cats at home, five ours plus three fosters. We love all of ours, of course, but she is also as strongly bonded with one of them as I am with RatĂłn.
As for putting her down, that decision haunts every owner, but you did the right thing. Think of it the opposite way; you'd be making her suffer unnecesarily, just to make her passing easier for you. You took the selfless choice, minimizing her suffering over your own feelings. And you did this because you truly loved her, and when the time came, you instinctively did what was best for her, as you ever did.
great write up OP. i played bloodborne recently and currently am deep into dark souls for my first time.
these games have pretty much instantly became some of my favourite games of all time. and that's no small statement... i find myself largely disinterested whatever the newest AAA release is, or latest power fantasy superhero movie. if i made a top 10 list, these games would stick out like a sore thumb among Zelda and Mario and the like. i think you've touched on something that I hadn't considered myself, in terms of why these games resonate so much with me and why so much of other popular media doesn't.
these games have pretty much instantly became some of my favourite games of all time. and that's no small statement... i find myself largely disinterested whatever the newest AAA release is, or latest power fantasy superhero movie. if i made a top 10 list, these games would stick out like a sore thumb among Zelda and Mario and the like. i think you've touched on something that I hadn't considered myself, in terms of why these games resonate so much with me and why so much of other popular media doesn't.
Haha, this is exactly what I thought when I read the title. Either way, fantastic write-up, OP.
This game just keeps me coming back and I'm always reminded of this thread. I bought it on switch today and this is the 5th time I've bought an iteration of the game.
OP
OP
I'm glad my thread had some staying power :) Enjoy the game!
(Five times, wow.)