Yep thought so. Try to get over her, it's not worth it to do all the work yourself
-
Ever wanted an RSS feed of all your favorite gaming news sites? Go check out our new Gaming Headlines feed! Read more about it here.
-
We have made minor adjustments to how the search bar works on ResetEra. You can read about the changes here.
Where do you guys/gals go to meet professional singles? Getting real tired of meeting (sorry, no better way of phrasing this really) deadbeats and losers who have nothing going on for themselves, yet they have sky-high standards. I've been using dating apps btw. For the most part, the only thing most of the girls I'm meeting up with wanna do is fuck lol. Was fun in the beginning, but not really my thing anymore. I'm still pretty new to the town I'm living in, so I don't really have any friends here who can introduce me to single women they know.
Probably on dating sites that require monthly memberships or a real life match maker (like an actual person you pay). Paying people are more likely to want something serious.
I've definitely considered something like that (like maybe eHarmony). Afraid of paying money for it and then running into a bunch of bots though 😞.
Shouldn't there be less bots on something like eHarmony, since you do have to pay for it?
Girl I was seeing for awhile all of a sudden said she just wants to be friends. I kinda overreacted.
I think it was because she dealt it to me a week before Valentine's Day and plus I was stressed with schoolwork.
But I managed to tell her I'm fine with being friends after I cooled off a bit.
I told her we should just start fresh as friends since we had a lot of negative stuff in our relationship that probably led up to this. She agreed and everything seemed fine.
And now she just completely stopped talking to me.
Im moving on and talking to other women but it still hurts
I think it was because she dealt it to me a week before Valentine's Day and plus I was stressed with schoolwork.
But I managed to tell her I'm fine with being friends after I cooled off a bit.
I told her we should just start fresh as friends since we had a lot of negative stuff in our relationship that probably led up to this. She agreed and everything seemed fine.
And now she just completely stopped talking to me.
Im moving on and talking to other women but it still hurts
I feel like your "friendship " was doomed. She just said it to protect herself and soften the blow.
Just move on.
Not necessarily. I mean, it depends on what you're talking about, but unless it's like sex phone it doesn't have to me as she's 'into you'.
Did you already went and meet the other girl in the restaurant?
I might have to try it to see how it turns out I suppose. :)
Anyone ever take like dance classes (maybe salsa)? I might give that a go as well, because I can't dance worth shit 😄.
Bit different at age 40 vs age 26 but still solid advice. I'm not exhausted or even tired yet just dipping my toes in for the first time. I'm just nervous about stepping in and putting myself out there so this helps man thanks.
Going to edit my online dating profile now.
yeah, i learned that quick enough. it hurt but its for the better for sure.
lol i'm going to stop by this weekend. i've been busy with midterms
So, for a change I just want to tell a positive story - I spoke to a girl on a flight to another country. She was from the same town as myself which was weird, because we didn't fly out from there. We just started talking after we left the plane, not during the flight (where we only exchanged a smile or two) and had about 5 minutes until I was advanced by my friends and she went on to see her family. We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet when we'd both be back in town.
When we met, it was almost scary how much of a good fit we are in almost every area that's important to me. We agreed to date un-exclusively pretty fast, can talk about everything so far - without any drama on the horizon whatsoever - and have pretty much the same hobbies.
I'm excited to see where this goes :D
When we met, it was almost scary how much of a good fit we are in almost every area that's important to me. We agreed to date un-exclusively pretty fast, can talk about everything so far - without any drama on the horizon whatsoever - and have pretty much the same hobbies.
I'm excited to see where this goes :D
That's great to hear! Sometimes these things just fall in to place, if on for the short term. Enjoy
Tonight me and my girlfriend are celebrating six months together with dinner at the place where we had our first date and a movie at the theater where we had our second.
We met through a dating app, one I had literally joined on a whim that morning(I never really use that sort of thing) and that she had been planning to close her account on. Talked for like 2 weeks before our first date, dated fairly casually for the first month or so, and we've been super close ever since. I love her and her 3 year old daughter, and we currently have plans to get an apartment together by this summer.
We met through a dating app, one I had literally joined on a whim that morning(I never really use that sort of thing) and that she had been planning to close her account on. Talked for like 2 weeks before our first date, dated fairly casually for the first month or so, and we've been super close ever since. I love her and her 3 year old daughter, and we currently have plans to get an apartment together by this summer.
It isn't the "culture". It's the inherent nature of those kinds of applications. If you are using a swipe app for anything more than instant gratification or casual fun, you are doing harm to yourself.
Swiping purely for validation has of course always been a thing. But it's currently much worse than it used to be, in terms of people matching and then not saying anything at all.
I guess. But honestly who cares? I feel like a lot of dating apps are about the same as casual glances at cute people walking down the sidewalk. Just because I think you're cute doesn't mean I want to talk/date. Maybe if I was more horny I'd be more frustrated if no one wanted to talked to me, but I rarely if ever message matches or have any type of emotional reaction to matches or dates on dating app. The whole process is very sterile.
🤷♂️
soul
mates
s
o
u
l
MATES
kidding. don't put pressure on the relationship
Not sure how to respond. Empirically, a lot of people care. Contrary to what emotionally unavailable people think, it is a dating app. Using it as anything but (and hookups, of course) is wasting people's time.
Am I tearing my hair out about this? No. Will I take two minutes to type a few posts about how it's annoying? Yep.
I'm pretty good at being 'friends' often to my detriment. People enjoy my company, but I feel like I just put out the wrong vibe dating wise.
So if I feel myself becoming a friend again, after recently meeting someone. Is there a 'best' way to kind of shoot my shot before it's too late?
I don't mind being friends with people who's company I enjoy, but I want to know I did all I could have done, and it just wasn't meant to be.
Edit: And yes, 'making my intentions known' is obvious. I mean more like, if she's leaning more friend, is there a way to try and tip it back? Or is that just simply not gonna happen, ever?
So if I feel myself becoming a friend again, after recently meeting someone. Is there a 'best' way to kind of shoot my shot before it's too late?
I don't mind being friends with people who's company I enjoy, but I want to know I did all I could have done, and it just wasn't meant to be.
Edit: And yes, 'making my intentions known' is obvious. I mean more like, if she's leaning more friend, is there a way to try and tip it back? Or is that just simply not gonna happen, ever?
[QUOTE="Tophat Jones, post: 181974] I mean more like, if she's leaning more friend, is there a way to try and tip it back? Or is that just simply not gonna happen, ever?[/QUOTE]
No, once you've gone past that window of being a new person, then you've been filed in the friend folder. Dating these days favors the fast and the bold, not taking your time building up the kindness credits or waiting for her to make an obvious sign.
If you keep making friends, it's because your giving off friend vibes and not "wanna smash" vibes.
No, once you've gone past that window of being a new person, then you've been filed in the friend folder. Dating these days favors the fast and the bold, not taking your time building up the kindness credits or waiting for her to make an obvious sign.
If you keep making friends, it's because your giving off friend vibes and not "wanna smash" vibes.
We can't see how your interacting with women over a message board, so you're going to have to figure that one out yourself. Try looking at how successful guys interact with women, and do that.
Do you guys think "taking too long to have sex" is a thing when dating someone new? And after how many dates would you consider that the case?
You can't assign a number to that, everyone is different. But yes, you can take too long and it could be read as a sign of disinterest.
the boys I've been with were all long term friends first.
I haven't "ended things" with that girl I was talking about just yet. If I'm being real it's mostly because I want to do it in person. And I'm going to blame myself for never trying to hold her hand through 7 dates.
I found out she is dating other guys through dating apps so I said fuck it and went on a first date with someone last night through OKcupid. Held her hand and she literally said "I was wondering when you were going to do that!"
Then her bus came and I thought I've got to make my move fast. So I leaned in and kissed her and she said "Finally! I was waiting...."
So wow. Thinking back to the dozen+ of girls I've met through dating apps over the past 8 months, I've really fucked up by not being more assertive. Last night taught me a lot about myself - that I don't give myself enough credit.
Great night - had an awesome time and learned a valuable lesson.
I found out she is dating other guys through dating apps so I said fuck it and went on a first date with someone last night through OKcupid. Held her hand and she literally said "I was wondering when you were going to do that!"
Then her bus came and I thought I've got to make my move fast. So I leaned in and kissed her and she said "Finally! I was waiting...."
So wow. Thinking back to the dozen+ of girls I've met through dating apps over the past 8 months, I've really fucked up by not being more assertive. Last night taught me a lot about myself - that I don't give myself enough credit.
Great night - had an awesome time and learned a valuable lesson.
Last edited:
Haha, this was a big revelation to me too when I was like 19 or 20. I tried too hard to be a gentleman when I was young and it was just confusing to women who weren't sure if I was interested, or who took it as a lack of confidence and were turned off by it.
Lesson learned: If she's interested in you then she wants you to make a move. And if she doesn't, she'll let you know.
It's important to understand that her liking your friendship and her being attracted to you are two separate equations. One doesn't take you further from the other, and moving further from one doesn't bring you closer to the other.
If she likes you as a friend, likes talking to you, doing stuff with you, that's great. It doesn't hurt your chances at all. But your romantic chemistry or her attraction to you is a totally independent bit of calculus she's doing and if that's declining you should think about why.
the problem is not every girl share that view. So you need to be able to read the situation and go with your gut feeling. I have had a very cringe experience in a subway, I had a good time with this girl and we were on our way back and I casually held her hand and she slowly retreated. May be she was too uncomfortable, idk but it was fucking embarrassing for me lmao
I've actually been guilty of dating a girl and not having sex with her after like 4 dates that she finally came out and said "I'd really like to have sex soon."
One of the most movie scene nights of my life
Yea I usually at least get to "2nd/3rd base" on the first date if there's chemistry but I feel weird initiating with this girl after 7 dates for some reason haha (and she doesn't initiate anything). I wish more people were that forward.
Man online dating can be hard 😓
Things kinda run their course with my last partner who I was with for 6 months, and on the other side of it I felt like I had a much clearer idea of what sort of person would be right for me. Anyway, I started being a bit more open and honest about myself, and somewhat selective with the people I message now. I messaged someone on OkCupid who had an amazing bio which was just really funny, interesting and quirky, she was an INFP which is the same type as me so I figured I'd open up a bit more than usual in the first message. Which turned into a bit of a random ramble lol. Around a week later she liked me and replied with her own random ramble haha, I sorta messaged her in the first place because her bio painted such full picture of her, which is better than most peoples "hey I like pizza and naps", and then her message seemed to affirm this. Anyway I replied that day with another long message (I can waffle on for a while and like to reply to all things she brought up), then a few days go by and she replies to that with another longer message, which I get a really good vibe from, she was indulging my own quirkiness and sorta opening up a lot more herself. Anyway I replied to that on Wednesday and just had radio silence since. At the time I sorta replied to her long message with lots of little ones, and only the first couple showed as read so I am not really sure what to make of it. She hasn't unmatched me, or blocked me, so I am not really sure what to make of it 🤷♂️
Things kinda run their course with my last partner who I was with for 6 months, and on the other side of it I felt like I had a much clearer idea of what sort of person would be right for me. Anyway, I started being a bit more open and honest about myself, and somewhat selective with the people I message now. I messaged someone on OkCupid who had an amazing bio which was just really funny, interesting and quirky, she was an INFP which is the same type as me so I figured I'd open up a bit more than usual in the first message. Which turned into a bit of a random ramble lol. Around a week later she liked me and replied with her own random ramble haha, I sorta messaged her in the first place because her bio painted such full picture of her, which is better than most peoples "hey I like pizza and naps", and then her message seemed to affirm this. Anyway I replied that day with another long message (I can waffle on for a while and like to reply to all things she brought up), then a few days go by and she replies to that with another longer message, which I get a really good vibe from, she was indulging my own quirkiness and sorta opening up a lot more herself. Anyway I replied to that on Wednesday and just had radio silence since. At the time I sorta replied to her long message with lots of little ones, and only the first couple showed as read so I am not really sure what to make of it. She hasn't unmatched me, or blocked me, so I am not really sure what to make of it 🤷♂️
A friend directed me to an app I hadn't heard of, and I've been having some success there. I've been talking to several women, but most of them live an hour away because I didn't adjust my settings at first. One was someone I didn't even message, just liked thinking that I'd never hear from her because she's quite a bit younger and out of my league.
Turns out she messaged me and we've been talking a ton. She's almost 10 years younger though and I don't know if she's noticed.
She invited me over tonight, but I couldn't go and asked if a rain check would be possible. The answer was definitely. I feel I should bring up the age thing before, and am trying not to get my hopes up too much because of it.
Turns out she messaged me and we've been talking a ton. She's almost 10 years younger though and I don't know if she's noticed.
She invited me over tonight, but I couldn't go and asked if a rain check would be possible. The answer was definitely. I feel I should bring up the age thing before, and am trying not to get my hopes up too much because of it.
Don't all dating sites show the age on their profile? She must have noticed.
Ordinarily I wouldn't send such a long message, but at worst I figured she would just not match with me. She lives a few hours away from me, so if things did continue it would have to be a bit of a long distance thing. At the moment I am cautiously optimistic that she's just busy, or deliberately pacing herself or something. If not then I haven't lost anything I suppose.
You're just a texting buddy, one she replies to when she's bored. Set your level of interest the same or just move on.
I kind of regret buying a house in my rural hometown outside of Houston. It made sense to go back to family when I was finishing up the divorce and emotionally devastated, but now that I'm healthy enough to date I feel like I'm in an awful pool for me.
I meet either really stereotypical rural/suburban women: very type-A, conservative (if not straight-up mysoginistic), crawfish-and-Luke-Bryan lovers, or older moms of 2+ who are closer to my parents' generation than my own.
I'm 32, somewhere between average and fit/muscular, childless, politically liberal, and a dorkish introvert. I'm a turd in a rural punch bowl.
I meet either really stereotypical rural/suburban women: very type-A, conservative (if not straight-up mysoginistic), crawfish-and-Luke-Bryan lovers, or older moms of 2+ who are closer to my parents' generation than my own.
I'm 32, somewhere between average and fit/muscular, childless, politically liberal, and a dorkish introvert. I'm a turd in a rural punch bowl.
Lol the "7 dates, no kissing" girl is ghosting me I think. I know you guys will say I'm crazy but I wanted the chance to tell her face-to-face that I don't want to see her anymore. I just feel after 2 months of knowing her it would be the right thing to do, face to face. I'm over her now, sincerely, and it's not like I'm harassing her over text or anything. # deleted. Onto the next one.
Anyway, the new girl I'm dating is awesome. I suggested Death Day 2 at the theatre for a second date. I'm planning to hold her hand throughout the movie and I know she'll want to kiss... Really excited. She hasn't seen the first one but she just told me she's going to "do her homework" and watch the first one before our next meetup lol.
Anyway, the new girl I'm dating is awesome. I suggested Death Day 2 at the theatre for a second date. I'm planning to hold her hand throughout the movie and I know she'll want to kiss... Really excited. She hasn't seen the first one but she just told me she's going to "do her homework" and watch the first one before our next meetup lol.
Are you me?
Like, all of this is me. Divorce, age, women we're finding, in Houston, etc.
I'm moving to the heights and I had a coworker help me spruce up my dating profiles, and I'm starting to get a good number of matches, but things aren't really progressing. It's exhausting sifting through all of the people that you described above, and it's a little weird that on some apps they can hide some of those details.
Makes it extra rough as a liberal atheist that doesn't want kids. 😬
I work in Baytown so moving closer to the city isn't really an option for me. And yeah, in a region this red/religious even being inside the loop doesn't necessarily make a difference.
It's true. Being inner loop or in nicer areas just means the shitty people have more money is all.
Hope things improve for you but I feel a little better knowing I'm not alone in the struggle.
I love that a chick I'm talking to in Tinder goes on telling me that she hadn't smile this much in ages and doesn't want to lose me but just stood me up on a date last night stating that she didn't forget about me via text as she was waiting for her brother to watch her kids.
And now, is not replying back to me at all. Still hasn't block me on Tinder but I told her that she's going to prove that she wants to hang out still or I'm just stopping this.
3rd chick in the past 2 weeks that leads to nothing. I think I'm giving up for looking after this one and concentrate on myself for another month.
Sucks that the ex and I are still banging as I need to go on finding someone new and she does as well.
And now, is not replying back to me at all. Still hasn't block me on Tinder but I told her that she's going to prove that she wants to hang out still or I'm just stopping this.
3rd chick in the past 2 weeks that leads to nothing. I think I'm giving up for looking after this one and concentrate on myself for another month.
Sucks that the ex and I are still banging as I need to go on finding someone new and she does as well.