Why not? Dating and life isn't about maximising your opportunities or something. No, gotta follow your heart sometimes too. Waiting, at least for a while, and hoping something beautiful might happen is not always a waste of time.
If you want to get somewhere in dating and life, you definitely shouldn't be letting good opportunities pass you by due to focusing on a road with a clear dead end. My late teen years and early twenties in terms of dating was absolutely held back by my mentality of focusing on one girl at a time even when it was a waste of time because she ended up not being into me. One specific girl I realize in retrospect was giving a lot of signs that she liked me and had asked me out to a couple things. I would've liked to go out with her too had I not been fixated on another girl who only saw me as a friend in the end. In fact, there were a few girls I could've at least attempted to ask out in the time span that I was focused on this one girl, hoping something could happen.
I can think of a few girls who I thought I hit it off with but were too "busy" with life and promised to get back to me. One girl in particular, I remember was getting ready to take a test to get into law school. After failing to set up a date a few times she told me she needed to focus on her test which was in a week but after that she would definitely call me back. Well, you can probably guess that she never did. And honestly that's fine because the time that I would've been waiting for her to come back is when I met my girlfriend.
Look at your logic here. If he waits for her, two things can happen:
1. She gets back to him and they continue to date. Yay!
2. She never gets back to him and he spent all the time waiting for nothing.
Now let's say he moves on like everyone here is saying to do. Two things can happen:
1. She gets back to him and they continue to date. Yay!
2. She never gets back to him but he continued to try dating others so it doesn't matter, he's moved on. Yay!
I don't see any benefit to your idea whatsoever. Him moving on but leaving her open to contact him is literally the best of both worlds.
Hi ERA! :)
So, i'll tell you about this girl i like, so maybe you can give some advice or something.
I've been going to this bar every morning and this incredibly cute girl is working there, she's very kind but very shy and quiet.
I got out of Facebook and i'm usually very shy too, so i didn't know what to do. Luckly my friend knows her name and tells me she's single apparently.
One day i decided to left my card with my phone number under my cup of coffee, something i never did. It was pretty embarassing actually.
She didn't contact me the next days, but i saw her colleague picking it up and thought i fucked it up really badly.
Two weeks later, my colleague tells me we need to create the FB page for our new company and we need to use my account. I thought it was a good time to maybe add her and say hello, maybe asked her for a date. Her FB profile is just like her: very quiet, very private and no personal information which i thought it was very cool.
I added her and said hello the next day, but she just read it aaaand.. that's it.
So there's not really much i can do here, that's a shame cause i really would like to know her.
I generally don't ask out people with service jobs at their place of work. It's their job to be nice to you and so you can very easily think they are flirting with you when in fact, they're just being a good employee. Asking them out can also potentially make them very uncomfortable because they can't avoid you while they're working, especially if you're a regular like you say.
I know some people who have asked out bartenders, baristas, waiters, clerks, etc. at their place of work and it has worked out but it really needs to be a far more certain thing. Like if you two interact and talk a lot at the bar, if there's very clear flirting and you're hitting it off then, sure, ask her out. But you don't even know her name? What's the basis of your relationship besides the fact that you think she's cute and she's nice? From her perspective, what do you think she thinks of you? If you never asked her name, how do you think she feels about you finding her on Facebook anyway? You really gotta be considerate of her feelings in this situation.
Anyway, at the end of all of this if you still think you want to ask her out. Then just do it. Adding people on social media or leaving business cards under cups of coffee are very passive ways of showing interest in someone. If you want her to take some initiative in response to your softballs, you're gonna be waiting a long time. Probably forever. If you want to ask her out, ask her out. Directly. Just do it on Facebook since you have that. Better than doing it at her place of work where she can't go anywhere. But really you should consider all the above.
