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Nov 17, 2017
12,864
What's the consensus on Super Like on Tinder? I heard from some people that it makes you seem creepy but I've also seen people use it and get dates.
 

EarthBound64

User was permanently banned at own request
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,802
Connecticut
What happened? Everything okay?

I tried so hard not to get my hopes up...
I'm so used to things going wrong...
But it finally felt like this time things were actually going to work...
She was so perfect... She loves me and cares about me and wants to be with me...
She still does...
But she's living at home, 1000 miles away from me... and her parents forbid her from talking to me again.
Oh God...
 

EarthBound64

User was permanently banned at own request
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,802
Connecticut
I'm sorry. It may still work out. 21 is still an adult, after all. Sort of.

But maybe this is why you should date age-appropriate women within reasonable driving distance from you.

It's not like I went out of my way to find someone that age or something...
She was literally the one who found me and picked me out...
:(
 

Notaskwid

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
5,652
Osaka
Sounds a bit strange, 21, her parents knowing about you a (I suppose) the nature of your relationship and already have a strong enough opinion to outright forbidding her from talking to you, when it's already surprising enought that they know something.
If I recall correctly this was initiated more or less the same week that Era opened to the public, that's like 1 month ago..
Did they caught her cyber sexing?
 

Sygma

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
954
It's not like I went out of my way to find someone that age or something...
She was literally the one who found me and picked me out...
:(

Gonna sound harsh but by keeping your composure / staying awesome you ll find someone you can actually date, man

Like, look at the brighter side of the picture yeah ?
 

EarthBound64

User was permanently banned at own request
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,802
Connecticut
Sounds a bit strange, 21, her parents knowing about you a (I suppose) the nature of your relationship and already have a strong enough opinion to outright forbidding her from talking to you, when it's already surprising enought that they know something.
If I recall correctly this was initiated more or less the same week that Era opened to the public, that's like 1 month ago..
Did they caught her cyber sexing?

Apparently my age, and the fact that I'm divorced, according to her father (who I talked to twice in an attempt to have a conversation about things).
For what it's worth, she has brothers around my age, and her parents are around my parents' age, so even though there was a difference in our ages, it's not like I was her parents' age or something.
Also, yeah, initiated around the same time this message board opened. And no sexting.


keeping your composure / staying awesome

Well, I failed pretty hard at that. Broke down crying (not on the phone with them, afterwards) and a mid-night call to my psychologist (who, thankfully, answered). I'm a complete wreck right now.
 
Oct 25, 2017
5,159
China
Well if she wants to talk to you again there's nothing her parents can do. It's not like the old days where there is just one phone in the house and they can put her on curfew. Reality check before you go into doom and gloom, you never even met and had only been speaking for a month. You cannot be calling her perfect.
 

EarthBound64

User was permanently banned at own request
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,802
Connecticut
Well if she wants to talk to you again there's nothing her parents can do. It's not like the old days where there is just one phone in the house and they can put her on curfew.

Well, they took away her phone and computer.
Yes, I know, she's 21 - but she's also still living with them.
I don't know the extent to which things are possible given that...
 

Notaskwid

Banned
Oct 25, 2017
5,652
Osaka
Though I can sort of underatand the parents. If a grown man called me to speak some business about my 21 year old daughter whom he knew for about 1 month, I'd also be freaked out. No offence, but you went way too quickly about this.
 

EarthBound64

User was permanently banned at own request
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
1,802
Connecticut
You seriously think they can ban someone from the internet that easily? Are they going to ground her as well for the rest of her life?

I know...
You're right...
I hope she reads this...


Though I can sort of underatand the parents. If a grown man called me to speak some business about my 21 year old daughter whom he knew for about 1 month, I'd also be freaked out. No offence, but you went way too quickly about this.

I didn't initiate the initial contact with the parents. The parents took her phone (or otherwise got my number) and called me.
 

Megalosaro

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
431
Southern California
She may find a way, EB64. Though, in case she's too much into that filial piety stuff, she might not.

I do agree with Addie though. 1000 miles distance is the bigger issue here.

I was having a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiity day today. Bae bought me coffee and cookies and had ubereats deliver it to my office. She's so awesome.
 

LookAtMeGo

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,136
a parallel universe
She may find a way, EB64. Though, in case she's too much into that filial piety stuff, she might not.

I do agree with Addie though. 1000 miles distance is the bigger issue here.

I was having a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiity day today. Bae bought me coffee and cookies and had ubereats deliver it to my office. She's so awesome.
Glad to hear you 2 are still going good man.
 
Oct 25, 2017
5,159
China
She may find a way, EB64. Though, in case she's too much into that filial piety stuff, she might not.

I do agree with Addie though. 1000 miles distance is the bigger issue here.

I was having a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiity day today. Bae bought me coffee and cookies and had ubereats deliver it to my office. She's so awesome.

Great work Mega, always good when your girl puts the effort in for you like that.
 

Subpar Scrub

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,576
I've been crying all night.
This feels horrible beyond anything that I've ever experienced before.
:(

I'm not trying to antagonise you or anything, but do you think that this is an appropriate response to someone who you've known for a month (and haven't met yet) getting their phone confiscated from their parents?

You over-invested yourself. Drink some water, get some sleep and re-address this in the morning. Take this as a learning experience and find someone closer to your location, who also has better control over their ability to contact and meet you.

there are some friends of mine, who are full-time-autists, because they are only interested in playing videogames and discussing it, even in a not professional way.

What the hell does this mean?

Anyway, Bomi, we're suggesting therapy because you have toxic perceptions about how others view your skin colour, women using you for food or movies and some other issues which aren't going to be rectified on a dating forum. For the most part (I won't speak for others), we share date ideas, clothing/pic/bio reviews, relationship progress updates, small dispute advice, app recommendations, gift ideas and stuff like that. We can't (realistically) dive into your preconceptions and insecurities and say something that will magically improve those areas, only point you in the direction where you may find such help.

You're getting first dates my dude, it's a good sign, now you just have to find the actual reason you're not getting follow-ups. (And no, it's not because women are looking for a free meal.)
 
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Jokab

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
875
A girl actually asked me out after talking for three days on Tinder, for the next day (today) no less. What is this sorcery?
 

Subpar Scrub

Attempted to circumvent ban with alt account
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
3,576
A girl actually asked me out after talking for three days on Tinder, for the next day (today) no less. What is this sorcery?

That is pretty uncommon lol. Why didn't you ask her out earlier? How keen is she? How healthy are your organs?

So, here's a conundrum: I'm looking for dates, mostly at parties and events because I've disabled apps until the new year. In the new year, I'll be applying for a job which I believe I'll get, and if I do, I should be told about my new position by around May and I'd be training for 6 months around 50 minutes away from where I live now.

That's all fine and dandy, but here's the catch: after those six months, I could be working 10 minutes from my house, 1 hour away or even assigned to the other side of the state (47 hour drive).

Is it fair for me to look for a relationship knowing that if I achieve what I want, I may have to leave my area of the state within a year, which will likely kill any relationship I form?
 
Last edited:
Oct 25, 2017
5,159
China
That is pretty uncommon lol. Why didn't you ask her out earlier?

So, here's a conundrum: I'm looking for dates, mostly at parties and events because I've disabled apps until the new year. In the new year, I'll be applying for a job which I believe I'll get, and if I do, I should be told about my new position by around May and I'd be training for 6 months around 50 minutes away from where I live now.

That's all fine and dandy, but here's the catch: after those six months, I could be working 10 minutes from my house, 1 hour away or even assigned to the other side of the state (47 hour drive).

Is it fair for me to look for a relationship knowing that if I achieve what I want, I may have to leave my area of the state within a year, which will likely kill any relationship I form?
Keep it casual and be upfront about the potential relocation. If you get what you want, you find someone else anyway.
 

EchoChamber

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
2,489

Jokab

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
875
That is pretty uncommon lol. Why didn't you ask her out earlier? How keen is she? How healthy are your organs?
Yeah it has never happened to me before. I like to talk a bit longer than two days but if she asks me out I figured I might as well. She basically just said "hey you seem cool to talk to and talking here gets boring, so let's get together after work some day?" and then I let her do all the planning. :)

I think she just really liked you and didn't want to wait for you to ask any longer because three days talking on Tinder is a long time.
I guess so! We'll see tonight.

It's a trap... RUN!!!
I considered the possibility. Pray for me.
 
Oct 25, 2017
21,452
Sweden
EarthBound64 I agree with everyone saying you were over-investing, emotionally. Many people tried to warn you earlier in the thread over and over that you seemed over-invested and you blew everyone off. Long-distance relatiohsiphs are tricky, and you need to be prepared that they can go belly-up any second. I say this as someone who only spent a weekend with someone in October, but is still determined to fly and visit her over an extended weekend in January. That said, it may not necessarily be over. Wait a few days and see if she finds any other way of getting back in touch. Do you have public libraries with Internet access in America?
Yeah it has never happened to me before. I like to talk a bit longer than two days but if she asks me out I figured I might as well. She basically just said "hey you seem cool to talk to and talking here gets boring, so let's get together after work some day?" and then I let her do all the planning. :)
why

Why waste so much time on texting? A few messages, 3 to 10, is enough. Then ask them out as soon as possible to see if y'all are going to sink or float.
 
Oct 27, 2017
10,201
PIT
It's been a drought if matches recently after several in October.

Mentally in a funk after some things at work and in life. Going to take a pause for a week to attend to myself and calm down.
 

Jokab

Banned
Oct 28, 2017
875
why

Why waste so much time on texting? A few messages, 3 to 10, is enough. Then ask them out as soon as possible to see if y'all are going to sink or float.
Not in that much of a hurry honestly. I understand the theory behind less texting before the date, but I just don't feel comfortable enough going on a date with someone I've exhanged 3-10 messages with.
 
Oct 25, 2017
504
Going to take a break from lurking for a minute to say sometimes it's hard to see the forest through the trees. Taking anything said/done/whatever in the heat of the moment is a recipe for overreactions. Wherever this whole thing was supposed to go, it'll go.
 

Xun

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,319
London
Honestly EarthBound? I'm pretty sure you were being trolled all along.

This whole ordeal with this girl (someone you've never met) miraculously started after you first started posting in here. Do you honestly believe she'd stalk you for years across 2 forums? With no disrespect there's nothing that sets you apart from any other poster that would have someone clamouring for you.

There's some horrible people in the world who would love nothing more than to upset others for their own enjoyment, so forget about "her" and move on with your life.
 
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Krauser Kat

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,701
Unless there is some cultural thing she is dealing with, 21yr olds usually don't have their parents elbow deep into their affairs. This break is too conveniently clean for her.