DatingEra - This isn't like one of your animes

[Deleted member 8118]

I don't know what I'm doing with myself.

I'm having one of those "one you let get away." situations, except she hasn't gotten away yet, just slipping.

I just moved away from my home of the past five years and I'm already missing the woman I'm speaking of. We've been talking almost everyday and about where we both are and reflecting on the things we did and things that happened when together.

I flew out to Tokyo before moving and she asked me when I would eventually come back to visit in CA and I didn't know what to say. I think she was questioning why I went in the first place.

I think what spawned these emotions is my friend (he) asking me what type of woman I'm looking for and I realized that I was describing her, then felt that I honestly might be in love.

I've known her for about 4 years. Things didn't get much deeper until 3 years of knowing each other.

 

[Doober]

Something that's been drilled into my head ever since I started attempting online dating as a guy is, "stand out." Be different. Have great pics: from all sorts of angles, closeups, group shots, activities. But don't neglect the bio either! Be exciting, different, interesting!

Then 90% of womens' profiles are palette swaps of vacation pic, happy hour, vacation pic, happy hour, I like travelling and sports and performing fun things, live laugh love tacos tacos tacos...

 

[tintskuecha]

I don't know what I'm doing with myself.

I'm having one of those "one you let get away." situations, except she hasn't gotten away yet, just slipping.

I just moved away from my home of the past five years and I'm already missing the woman I'm speaking of. We've been talking almost everyday and about where we both are and reflecting on the things we did and things that happened when together.

I flew out to Tokyo before moving and she asked me when I would eventually come back to visit in CA and I didn't know what to say. I think she was questioning why I went in the first place.

I think what spawned these emotions is my friend (he) asking me what type of woman I'm looking for and I realized that I was describing her, then felt that I honestly might be in love.

I've known her for about 4 years. Things didn't get much deeper until 3 years of knowing each other.

Click to shrink...

Damn. Perhaps keep in touch and see where it goes.

 

[Jokab]

Something that's been drilled into my head ever since I started attempting online dating as a guy is, "stand out." Be different. Have great pics: from all sorts of angles, closeups, group shots, activities. But don't neglect the bio either! Be exciting, different, interesting!

Then 90% of womens' profiles are palette swaps of vacation pic, happy hour, vacation pic, happy hour, I like travelling and sports and performing fun things, live laugh love tacos tacos tacos...

Click to shrink...

Yeah for sure. It's a seller's market for women tho and us men just gotta roll with it.

 

[tintskuecha]

Era, I have a dilemma. I have been dating someone for almost 6 months now. She's sooo sweet, considerate, responsible, stable, etc. I'm about to turn 28 and at this point of my life she's what I need. Big problem though, the spark is simply not there. I just don't love her. It's strange, I feel like I've found a great woman yet i find myself not missing her; being ok with not seeing her for extended periods of time. I think part of it is I'm not attracted to her physically. I feel like a superficial dumbass because, outside of her looks, she is exactly what I'm looking for.

I'm not sure what your of advice I'm looking for, I think I mostly needed to get that off my chest.


I'm a tool

 

[Deleted member 33533]

Something that's been drilled into my head ever since I started attempting online dating as a guy is, "stand out." Be different. Have great pics: from all sorts of angles, closeups, group shots, activities. But don't neglect the bio either! Be exciting, different, interesting!

Then 90% of womens' profiles are palette swaps of vacation pic, happy hour, vacation pic, happy hour, I like travelling and sports and performing fun things, live laugh love tacos tacos tacos...

Click to shrink...

That's just how it goes. I think being unique and standing out will give you an edge whether you're a man or a woman but it's mostly men initiating contact so you have to sell yourself much more as a man.

Era, I have a dilemma. I have been dating someone for almost 6 months now. She's sooo sweet, considerate, responsible, stable, etc. I'm about to turn 28 and at this point of my life she's what I need. Big problem though, the spark is simply not there. I just don't love her. It's strange, I feel like I've found a great woman yet i find myself not missing her; being ok with not seeing her for extended periods of time. I think part of it is I'm not attracted to her physically. I feel like a superficial dumbass because, outside of her looks, she is exactly what I'm looking for.

I'm not sure what your of advice I'm looking for, I think I mostly needed to get that off my chest.


I'm a tool

Click to shrink...

Sweet, considerate, responsible, stable... that sounds nice, I guess. I mean they certainly are good things but aren't those just like basic things you should expect from a partner? Like would anyone want the opposite? I'm not really seeing you describe anything substantial that makes her "just what you need" right now in your life. And if you aren't attracted to her and don't really care if you don't see her for a long time, then it kind of sounds like to you she's not great but there's nothing wrong with her, which isn't really a good place to be with someone in a relationship. Does that sound like someone who is exactly what you're looking for?

I don't think you're being superficial. You can't force yourself to feel that spark or to be attracted to her. You appreciate her a person but those feelings just don't seem to be there and you can't help that they aren't. None of what you said makes you a tool. You should be honest with yourself and her.

 

[Deleted member 13506]

Era, I have a dilemma. I have been dating someone for almost 6 months now. She's sooo sweet, considerate, responsible, stable, etc. I'm about to turn 28 and at this point of my life she's what I need. Big problem though, the spark is simply not there. I just don't love her. It's strange, I feel like I've found a great woman yet i find myself not missing her; being ok with not seeing her for extended periods of time. I think part of it is I'm not attracted to her physically. I feel like a superficial dumbass because, outside of her looks, she is exactly what I'm looking for.

I'm not sure what your of advice I'm looking for, I think I mostly needed to get that off my chest.


I'm a tool

Click to shrink...

Not going to say what you should do one way or another, but in my opinion things are going to be difficult if the physical attraction is not there. Tough situation either way though.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Era, I have a dilemma. I have been dating someone for almost 6 months now. She's sooo sweet, considerate, responsible, stable, etc. I'm about to turn 28 and at this point of my life she's what I need. Big problem though, the spark is simply not there. I just don't love her. It's strange, I feel like I've found a great woman yet i find myself not missing her; being ok with not seeing her for extended periods of time. I think part of it is I'm not attracted to her physically. I feel like a superficial dumbass because, outside of her looks, she is exactly what I'm looking for.

I'm not sure what your of advice I'm looking for, I think I mostly needed to get that off my chest.


I'm a tool

Click to shrink...

If you don't love her then you've gotta cut it off man. You're just wasting her time and yours if you keep this going. I don't think there is much more to it than that. You can't force love and after 6 months if you don't feel anything it's an issue.

You're not a tool but if you keep this going it would be bad.

 

[Maven]

Era, I have a dilemma. I have been dating someone for almost 6 months now. She's sooo sweet, considerate, responsible, stable, etc. I'm about to turn 28 and at this point of my life she's what I need. Big problem though, the spark is simply not there. I just don't love her. It's strange, I feel like I've found a great woman yet i find myself not missing her; being ok with not seeing her for extended periods of time. I think part of it is I'm not attracted to her physically. I feel like a superficial dumbass because, outside of her looks, she is exactly what I'm looking for.

I'm not sure what your of advice I'm looking for, I think I mostly needed to get that off my chest.


I'm a tool

Click to shrink...

You are a tool

You don't love her. You don't miss her. You don't find her physically attractive.

Let her go so she can find someone who appreciates all of her.

 

[Doober]

Era, I have a dilemma. I have been dating someone for almost 6 months now. She's sooo sweet, considerate, responsible, stable, etc. I'm about to turn 28 and at this point of my life she's what I need. Big problem though, the spark is simply not there. I just don't love her. It's strange, I feel like I've found a great woman yet i find myself not missing her; being ok with not seeing her for extended periods of time. I think part of it is I'm not attracted to her physically. I feel like a superficial dumbass because, outside of her looks, she is exactly what I'm looking for.

I'm not sure what your of advice I'm looking for, I think I mostly needed to get that off my chest.


I'm a tool

Click to shrink...

Next time, don't do this. Don't give it six months. If there's not some sort of spark by the end of the first date then you've found a friend, nothing more.

 

[tintskuecha]

Thanks for the advice all. Appreciate the honesty.

 

[Doof]

So, after not dating for almost 10 years (I'm 29 in two days; happy birthday me btw), I'm going to try to get back into it. I've installed Bumble and used it for awhile, but it seems like most of my matches don't initiate contact with me.

At first I thought that they didn't realize that they need to initiate (a friend of mine told me that it took her a bit to realize she had to send the first message), but it's happened enough times that I think I'm doing something wrong. I have several pictures of myself on my profile, but I'm a bit overweight and really sensitive about it, so I don't feel comfortable having pictures of myself from the waist down. I'm trying to lose weight, but as I'm sure y'all know, it's a process, and I'd like to start dating now.

Also, I feel like I'm not terribly interesting, lol. I don't make a ton of money and I save most of what I make, so I can't go on crazy European trips or skydiving or whatever. I like relaxing at home with a book or a board game, or maybe going to punk shows occasionally. I do have a dog, so that's a plus!

Anyway, do y'all have any advice for me? I'm going to get a Tinder and a CNB and maybe a Match as soon as I get a haircut and can take some decent new pictures.

Thanks, guys!

 

[NealMcCauley]

A few months ago I got a facebook message out of the blue from someone I had dinner with ages ago wanting to try again. We messaged for a while, met up again (didn't work out), but now facebook is sending me emails about every damn update or pic she posts. Stop that facebook.

 

[Sunster]

A few months ago I got a facebook message out of the blue from someone I had dinner with ages ago wanting to try again. We messaged for a while, met up again (didn't work out), but now facebook is sending me emails about every damn update or pic she posts. Stop that facebook.

Click to shrink...

Unfollow her. You remain her FB friend but do not see her posts.

 

[NealMcCauley]

Unfollow her. You remain her FB friend but do not see her posts.

Click to shrink...

Oh yeah I forgot about that. Thanks for reminding me. Only other time I unfollowed was when someone from high school kept posting if anyone had spare opiods.

 

[Jokab]

Next time, don't do this. Don't give it six months. If there's not some sort of spark by the end of the first date then you've found a friend, nothing more.

Click to shrink...

I don't believe that. You can safely give it at least three dates before calling it quits

 

[Demon Lizardman]

Ugh, was going on a date this Sunday with a girl who seemed to have a lot of common in me. All of a sudden, she met somebody at a super bowl part and said she was seeing him. Man, fuck the Super Bowl. She was really cute as well and commented on my looks.

 

[Deleted member 24907]

A few months ago I got a facebook message out of the blue from someone I had dinner with ages ago wanting to try again. We messaged for a while, met up again (didn't work out), but now facebook is sending me emails about every damn update or pic she posts. Stop that facebook.

Click to shrink...

Facebook gets super desperate about that. If you stop checking FB they send you emails/notifications about random people's updates, then if you ignore those they send you emails that they updated at all and won't tell you what they post until you go log in. I don't have my phone number linked to mine but apparently they also start texting you.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

Next time, don't do this. Don't give it six months. If there's not some sort of spark by the end of the first date then you've found a friend, nothing more.

Click to shrink...

I strongly disagree. I'd give it 2-3 dates tbh, I've met people who are completely different once the first date anxiety is out of the way.

 

[Subpar Scrub]

So, after not dating for almost 10 years (I'm 29 in two days; happy birthday me btw), I'm going to try to get back into it. I've installed Bumble and used it for awhile, but it seems like most of my matches don't initiate contact with me.

At first I thought that they didn't realize that they need to initiate (a friend of mine told me that it took her a bit to realize she had to send the first message), but it's happened enough times that I think I'm doing something wrong. I have several pictures of myself on my profile, but I'm a bit overweight and really sensitive about it, so I don't feel comfortable having pictures of myself from the waist down. I'm trying to lose weight, but as I'm sure y'all know, it's a process, and I'd like to start dating now.

Also, I feel like I'm not terribly interesting, lol. I don't make a ton of money and I save most of what I make, so I can't go on crazy European trips or skydiving or whatever. I like relaxing at home with a book or a board game, or maybe going to punk shows occasionally. I do have a dog, so that's a plus!

Anyway, do y'all have any advice for me? I'm going to get a Tinder and a CNB and maybe a Match as soon as I get a haircut and can take some decent new pictures.

Thanks, guys!

Click to shrink...

As a fellow chonky boi trying to lose weight, I feel your pain man. I would just take pics of yourself normally for your dating profile. Having pics that don't show you as you are, you might secure some more first dates but they're going to know how you look on the first date anyway, so definitely don't take deceiving pics.

You can always update your pics as you lose weight anyway!

Also, there's plenty of people in your age range who are more after stability and a dude with his shit together compared to those seeking extravagant trips and such, so no stress on that front.

Feel free to pop into the discord if you want feedback on pics and good luck man. Hinge and CMB seem to be pretty popular atm, but app populations are also dependent on your location.

 

[Doober]

I strongly disagree. I'd give it 2-3 dates tbh, I've met people who are completely different once the first date anxiety is out of the way.

Click to shrink...

Yeah fair enough, but certainly not six months.

I'm speaking mainly as a guy who wouldn't want a girl to have to try too hard to want to see me naked. If it's not popping after a couple dates, please send me on my way.

 

[Doober]

So, after not dating for almost 10 years (I'm 29 in two days; happy birthday me btw), I'm going to try to get back into it. I've installed Bumble and used it for awhile, but it seems like most of my matches don't initiate contact with me.

At first I thought that they didn't realize that they need to initiate (a friend of mine told me that it took her a bit to realize she had to send the first message), but it's happened enough times that I think I'm doing something wrong. I have several pictures of myself on my profile, but I'm a bit overweight and really sensitive about it, so I don't feel comfortable having pictures of myself from the waist down. I'm trying to lose weight, but as I'm sure y'all know, it's a process, and I'd like to start dating now.

Also, I feel like I'm not terribly interesting, lol. I don't make a ton of money and I save most of what I make, so I can't go on crazy European trips or skydiving or whatever. I like relaxing at home with a book or a board game, or maybe going to punk shows occasionally. I do have a dog, so that's a plus!

Anyway, do y'all have any advice for me? I'm going to get a Tinder and a CNB and maybe a Match as soon as I get a haircut and can take some decent new pictures.

Thanks, guys!

Click to shrink...

As another former chonk, you'll definitely need to get the weight under control if you're gonna use apps. It's a tough crowd out there period when you're a guy, and most big guys don't have friends and family constantly telling them how strong and sexy and beautiful they are.

 

[Doof]

As a fellow chonky boi trying to lose weight, I feel your pain man. I would just take pics of yourself normally for your dating profile. Having pics that don't show you as you are, you might secure some more first dates but they're going to know how you look on the first date anyway, so definitely don't take deceiving pics.

You can always update your pics as you lose weight anyway!

Also, there's plenty of people in your age range who are more after stability and a dude with his shit together compared to those seeking extravagant trips and such, so no stress on that front.

Feel free to pop into the discord if you want feedback on pics and good luck man. Hinge and CMB seem to be pretty popular atm, but app populations are also dependent on your location.

Click to shrink...

Thanks for the encouragement! I'll definitely pop in.

As another former chonk, you'll definitely need to get the weight under control if you're gonna use apps. It's a tough crowd out there period when you're a guy, and most big guys don't have friends and family constantly telling them how strong and sexy and beautiful they are.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, it sure seems that way. What alternatives would you recommend in the meantime? I have trouble approaching people in public because I know they don't want to be bothered. I'm not unattractive, just kind of overweight.

 

[Quantum Leap]

Downloaded Tinder again just to see what's up but god damn every girl is so damn basic 😂
I'll stick to OKC.

 

[Rivenblade]

Downloaded Tinder again just to see what's up but god damn every girl is so damn basic 😂
I'll stick to OKC.

Click to shrink...

I don't use Tinder, but I'm assuming this means their favourite shows are This is Us and Grey's Anatomy, and their favourite food is hamburgers and/or sushi. And they're looking for a man who can treat her right.

 

[Quantum Leap]

I don't use Tinder, but I'm assuming this means their favourite shows are This is Us and Grey's Anatomy, and their favourite food is hamburgers and/or sushi. And they're looking for a man who can treat her right.

Click to shrink...

In L.A:
• Favorite shows are Greys Anatomy, The Bachelor, Friends, Sex and the city
• Has a photo with the LACMA lights, the tulips at Marciano Art Foundation, Venice Beach, the Hollywood sign, Coachella, a rave, a trip to vegas, at a party or club holding an alcoholic drink in her hand, at least one photo with a snapchat filter that makes them look way better than they actually look
• their song on their profile is 7 rings by Ariana Grande
• Disneyland annual pass holder

The sad part is that those are the girls i'm most physically attracted to 😭

 

[Doober]

Downloaded Tinder again just to see what's up but god damn every girl is so damn basic 😂
I'll stick to OKC.

Click to shrink...

I've got bad news. :-/

Women don't have to put a lot of effort into these things before they get drowned in messages, so they don't.

 

[Alwayscrazybacon]

In L.A:
• Favorite shows are Greys Anatomy, The Bachelor, Friends, Sex and the city
• Has a photo with the LACMA lights, the tulips at Marciano Art Foundation, Venice Beach, the Hollywood sign, Coachella, a rave, a trip to vegas, at a party or club holding an alcoholic drink in her hand, at least one photo with a snapchat filter that makes them look way better than they actually look
• their song on their profile is 7 rings by Ariana Grande
• Disneyland annual pass holder

The sad part is that those are the girls i'm most physically attracted to 😭

Click to shrink...

Complains about women being superficial , is even more superficial himself.

 

[Lulu]

People wanna look as good as possible in their pics, period. A lot of people like popular things, you're not going to get to know really know a person unless you meet them in person. Don't put complete stock into a limited profile bruh.

 

[Quantum Leap]

People wanna look as good as possible in their pics, period. A lot of people like popular things, you're not going to get to know really know a person unless you meet them in person. Don't put complete stock into a limited profile bruh.

Click to shrink...

You right you right, sorry guys gotta give some of these girls a chance :P
Mod edit: NSFW image removed.

 

[Deleted member 37143]

.

 

[Thunder11]

Downloaded Tinder again just to see what's up but god damn every girl is so damn basic 😂
I'll stick to OKC.

Click to shrink...

yeah it's pretty mind-blowing. Tinder is:

1) Either the extremely samey girl (ie looks, acts, dresses, poses the same as, has the same interests as everyone else to the point of uncanniness). "must. love. dogs. (also pizza and hiking)"

2) The hipster, mixed in with the classic self deprecating schtick ("I''m not funny and ugly, kill me")

3) Super religious ("1 Corinthians 13:4-8 - Love is patient, love is kind")

4) The rest

5) Bots

At least where I'm at. That said, you've really got to get to know the person behind the profile - I'm sure there's more there a lot of times. Girls don't have to put effort into this at all either.

 

[Quantum Leap]

yeah it's pretty mind-blowing. Tinder is:

1) Either the extremely samey girl (ie looks, acts, dresses, poses the same as, has the same interests as everyone else to the point of uncanniness). "must. love. dogs. (also pizza and hiking)"

2) The hipster, mixed in with the classic self deprecating schtick ("I''m not funny and ugly, kill me")

3) Super religious ("1 Corinthians 13:4-8 - Love is patient, love is kind")

4) The rest

5) Bots

At least where I'm at. That said, you've really got to get to know the person behind the profile - I'm sure there's more there a lot of times. Girls don't have to put effort into this at all either.

Click to shrink...

I want an app with more alternative/hipster girls haha

 

[Gotdatmoney]

In L.A:
• Favorite shows are Greys Anatomy, The Bachelor, Friends, Sex and the city
• Has a photo with the LACMA lights, the tulips at Marciano Art Foundation, Venice Beach, the Hollywood sign, Coachella, a rave, a trip to vegas, at a party or club holding an alcoholic drink in her hand, at least one photo with a snapchat filter that makes them look way better than they actually look
• their song on their profile is 7 rings by Ariana Grande
• Disneyland annual pass holder

The sad part is that those are the girls i'm most physically attracted to 😭

Click to shrink...

I went to L.A. in Sept and I got pictures in front of the Hollywood sign and at Venice Beach :(

I mean, if you are trying to get people in their 20s they want to show more interesting aspects of themselves and often their best pictures are when they are out doing stuff. Shrug. These things 99% of the time are to try and appear normal, social and somewhat attractive. It's not like your average fit girl needs to craft an amazing profile to get matches.

You right you right, sorry guys gotta give some of these girls a chance :P
Mod Edit: NSFW Image removed.

Click to shrink...

I'm totally fine with that profile. Like either it's superficial or its a novel. A face shot would be necessary but why would you swipe left unless you are an Android users or some shit?

yeah it's pretty mind-blowing. Tinder is:

1) Either the extremely samey girl (ie looks, acts, dresses, poses the same as, has the same interests as everyone else to the point of uncanniness). "must. love. dogs. (also pizza and hiking)"

2) The hipster, mixed in with the classic self deprecating schtick ("I''m not funny and ugly, kill me")

3) Super religious ("1 Corinthians 13:4-8 - Love is patient, love is kind")

4) The rest

5) Bots

At least where I'm at. That said, you've really got to get to know the person behind the profile - I'm sure there's more there a lot of times. Girls don't have to put effort into this at all either.

Click to shrink...

Is your Tinder super unique? I mean, I most of this shit is similar because most people actually have pretty samey interests in general. Like I enjoy sports, casual drinks, movies and seeing new places. How many people enjoy none of those things? Lol

 

[nayriee]

I strongly disagree. I'd give it 2-3 dates tbh, I've met people who are completely different once the first date anxiety is out of the way.

Click to shrink...

Yeah agree with this too.

I've got bad news. :-/

Women don't have to put a lot of effort into these things before they get drowned in messages, so they don't.

Click to shrink...

If I still had tinder I'd show some of the messages I had, If women don't reply its usually because its hard to keep more than two conversations at once. At least for me anyhow.

 

[Scotch]

I'm totally fine with that profile. Like either it's superficial or its a novel. A face shot would be necessary but why would you swipe left unless you are an Android users or some shit?

Click to shrink...

Even if I had an iPhone I'd instantly swipe left on that shit. Different strokes.

 

[smisk]

How often do you do random thoughtful things for your partner? My girlfriend has said she wishes I'd put in a little more effort, and we kinda got into an argument about it this weekend. Tbh I'm not entirely sure what she wants.. She does things like cooks for me, and gave me rides when I didn't have a license. One thing she mentioned was buying something I thought she'd need if I saw it. I feel like I'm not good at this stuff..

 

[Jokab]

How often do you do random thoughtful things for your partner? My girlfriend has said she wishes I'd put in a little more effort, and we kinda got into an argument about it this weekend. Tbh I'm not entirely sure what she wants.. She does things like cooks for me, and gave me rides when I didn't have a license. One thing she mentioned was buying something I thought she'd need if I saw it. I feel like I'm not good at this stuff..

Click to shrink...

One thing I loved that my ex did was that when we were initially dating and she slept at my place and I left earlier than her, she'd leave a note on my pillow saying how great I am and that she wishes I had a nice day. Small things like that. Buy random gifts, doesn't have to be anything major, call her unexpectedly if that's not how you usually communicate, plan a weekend getaway and take care of everything, cook for her, buy her favorite snacks when you head to her place. Really try to remember what kind of things she says she likes or wants and do/buy them for her without telling. One of the most caring things you can do for someone is to show that you listen.

 

[Alwayscrazybacon]

How often do you do random thoughtful things for your partner? My girlfriend has said she wishes I'd put in a little more effort, and we kinda got into an argument about it this weekend. Tbh I'm not entirely sure what she wants.. She does things like cooks for me, and gave me rides when I didn't have a license. One thing she mentioned was buying something I thought she'd need if I saw it. I feel like I'm not good at this stuff..

Click to shrink...

Enough that it's random, but not too much that its no longer a suprise. Aim for once a week, a small thing can mean more than a big gesture.

 

[Deleted member 13506]

How often do you do random thoughtful things for your partner? My girlfriend has said she wishes I'd put in a little more effort, and we kinda got into an argument about it this weekend. Tbh I'm not entirely sure what she wants.. She does things like cooks for me, and gave me rides when I didn't have a license. One thing she mentioned was buying something I thought she'd need if I saw it. I feel like I'm not good at this stuff..

Click to shrink...

Do you live together? If so, cleaning up around the house when she is at work or cooking a meal are both safe bets.

 

[smisk]

Do you live together? If so, cleaning up around the house when she is at work or cooking a meal are both safe bets.

Click to shrink...

No, and she lives with her parents so it'd be weird to go over and do stuff like that. I think Jokab gave me some good ideas though!

 

[MadScientist]

How often do you do random thoughtful things for your partner? My girlfriend has said she wishes I'd put in a little more effort, and we kinda got into an argument about it this weekend. Tbh I'm not entirely sure what she wants.. She does things like cooks for me, and gave me rides when I didn't have a license. One thing she mentioned was buying something I thought she'd need if I saw it. I feel like I'm not good at this stuff..

Click to shrink...

Do you ever buy her flowers? I did this for my gf and I still do it for my now wife occasionally a few times a year. Random flowers not just at valentines day/holidays and anniversaries go a long way. A bouquet of flowers at the grocery store are like $10...not much money and will stay alive for a week or two reminding her whenever she sees them.

 

[Alwayscrazybacon]

Do you live together? If so, cleaning up around the house when she is at work or cooking a meal are both safe bets.

Click to shrink...

But don't do it expecting a reward or recognition for doing chores in a home you both live in. Something personal would have a better reaction.

 

[HammerFace]

How often do you do random thoughtful things for your partner? My girlfriend has said she wishes I'd put in a little more effort, and we kinda got into an argument about it this weekend. Tbh I'm not entirely sure what she wants.. She does things like cooks for me, and gave me rides when I didn't have a license. One thing she mentioned was buying something I thought she'd need if I saw it. I feel like I'm not good at this stuff..

Click to shrink...

When she complains that she has lost something or something is broken, take note of that. You can get her a replacement as a gift and she'd appreciate it. Offer her things that'll make her life more convenient. Like offer her rides or be DD if you guys go out drinking. Offer to help her cook. Or just cook for her. Try and plan fun and out of the ordinary dates (not weird, just not things you always do).

 

[Deleted member 13506]

But don't do it expecting a reward or recognition for doing chores in a home you both live in. Something personal would have a better reaction.

Click to shrink...

Situational, I guess. If you're living together, and chores are likely (hopefully) shared, and your significant other cleans up for you because you're having a busy week at work, etc, that's pretty huge IMO. Same is true of a meal being cooked for me. All boils down to knowing your partner - simply buying stuff doesn't always represent effort (although some people love getting gifts).

A significant other saying you need to put in more effort should be a wake up call IMO if you value the relationship.

 

[smisk]

Do you ever buy her flowers? I did this for my gf and I still do it for my now wife occasionally a few times a year. Random flowers not just at valentines day/holidays and anniversaries go a long way. A bouquet of flowers at the grocery store are like $10...not much money and will stay alive for a week or two reminding her whenever she sees them.

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I've actually never done this heh (we've been together a little over a year now). For a lot of it I thought she didn't care that much about stuff like that but I'm sure she'd appreciate it from time to time. Maybe I'll do it sometime after valentines day.

 

[Youngfossil]

Update:

I had a bunch of dates lined up with other people other than the lawyer but they all feel through. My friend warned me that they are a lot of flakes out there. On the bright side I got a 2nd date with the lawyer tonight, but I stayed out partying last night and I feel like i wont be very talkative since I'm so burned out right now. Drinking coffee now, hopefully I can perk up before tonight.

BTW: Hinge seems to be the best with most "classy" women

 

[MadScientist]

I've actually never done this heh (we've been together a little over a year now). For a lot of it I thought she didn't care that much about stuff like that but I'm sure she'd appreciate it from time to time. Maybe I'll do it sometime after valentines day.

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I think even the girls that don't think about that stuff very much would still love to receive a small bouquet of flowers from their significant other. My wife might be having a terrible/awful day at work or she's really down. Those are the days I'll sometimes stop by the store on my way home and grab a small bouquet of flowers. As I mentioned above, no need to go overboard...$10-15 will do. Good luck!

 

[Jokab]

Been bombing out of dates left and right since before Christmas. Three out of four dates didn't even go to a second. Not sure what I'm doing wrong. Maybe it's because I treat the first date too much like a friendly meeting? All have been drinks at a bar but I never go for any kind of moves and maybe I give off a top friendly vibe rather than romantic. Any tips?

 

[Juke Joint Jezebel]

Been bombing out of dates left and right since before Christmas. Three out of four dates didn't even go to a second. Not sure what I'm doing wrong. Maybe it's because I treat the first date too much like a friendly meeting? All have been drinks at a bar but I never go for any kind of moves and maybe I give off a top friendly vibe rather than romantic. Any tips?

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A date's recent experiences can often play into who they may find more appealing for a follow-up date. Burning out is a very real thing and rapid-fire dating can often cause people to sort of "daydream" through dates, especially true for women, including myself when I used to go on a ton of dates at once. This is especially true when I talk with my older friends who want to hook up with a dude while they're still in their early thirties before the "panic" phase of not being able to physically start a family kicks in. Focus on the personality of that one individual who wanted to give you a second date and seek out other potential dates that exhibit the same behaviour and traits that particular person has. If you enjoy the company of that particular type of person you may have more success dating similar people!