I should clarify that I mean the idea that it's a hookup app exclusively. Usually when people say "Tinder is a hookup app" they mean to say you aren't going to find any meaningful or serious relationship on there and it's only for... well, hookups.
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Just got back from my first ever dating app date (Hinge) and I think it went well.
We went out to have burgers and cocktails and we were laughing a lot and had a lot in common.
She mentioned she liked horror movies and so I asked if she wanted to go see Pet Semetery with me sometime and she said "why not tonight?" So we finished our drinks and caught the next showing.
Wrapped my arm around her and she cuddled in.
Walked out of the movie with my arm around her and said "I'd ask if you want to grab a drink but I know you have to wake up at 5" and she turned us around and said "let's do it." So we grabbed some drinks at a nearby bar and talked some more.
Left and dropped her off at her car. Hugged for what seemed like forever. Was going to ask for a kiss but I felt like she wasn't there yet.
She texted me right after saying "sorry I'm so shy but I had a great time tonight." Got home around 2am.
She invited me to an event she's going to on Saturday but I probably won't be able to go so we'll do something next week instead.
I was dreading the worst and it turned out great.
1/1 Hinge
We went out to have burgers and cocktails and we were laughing a lot and had a lot in common.
She mentioned she liked horror movies and so I asked if she wanted to go see Pet Semetery with me sometime and she said "why not tonight?" So we finished our drinks and caught the next showing.
Wrapped my arm around her and she cuddled in.
Walked out of the movie with my arm around her and said "I'd ask if you want to grab a drink but I know you have to wake up at 5" and she turned us around and said "let's do it." So we grabbed some drinks at a nearby bar and talked some more.
Left and dropped her off at her car. Hugged for what seemed like forever. Was going to ask for a kiss but I felt like she wasn't there yet.
She texted me right after saying "sorry I'm so shy but I had a great time tonight." Got home around 2am.
She invited me to an event she's going to on Saturday but I probably won't be able to go so we'll do something next week instead.
I was dreading the worst and it turned out great.
1/1 Hinge
congrats, seems it went really well and you made the right moves.
Another congrats from me as well! Just beware and never get too invested this early on, it might look like every puzzle piece is falling in right where they belong, and then suddenly everything goes sideways. But yeah, she sounds like she's doing everything you want from a woman to do on your first date.
Keep doing what you do and good luck!
Congrats to you and another win for Hinge. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, keep looking for more dates.
I think... I think I'm ready to put myself out there again. Start actively dating. Or rather very very soon. It's been a while, but I'm feeling like it's a good time to start back up.
Thanks! I was crazy nervous at first but she was really chill so that helped a looot
Haha yeah I'm definitely staying hesitant and trying to find more dates just in case. Got notifications from Hinge while I was showing something to her in my phone... yeah i need to change that setting LOL
Tinder is a trash fire in Philly, I find. Hinge is great, Bumble is sometimes-good, and CMB is weird with matching but tends to draw a different population than swiping apps so it's worth repping yourself there.
I found Bumble to be a complete wash in Philly but that was back in 2017. I guess it's gotten better? Tinder was by far the best app back then, I'm not sure if Hinge was a thing yet or if it was it was very new. Never tried CMB.
Bumble seems to be really dependent on whether or not they feel like showing your profile. Sometimes I'll create an account and get 20 matches in an hour, sometimes I won't get 5 matches in a week.
I'm not sure what happened to Tinder, but I do know the app is incredibly annoying to use these days with all these additions and changes they've made.
Yeah, I keep hearing bad things about Tinder, like the whole blacklist or whatever it is when you reset your account. Sounds like they ruined a good thing to try and get more people to pay for the features.
One thing - and I don't know if Tinder does this now too - that annoys me with Bumble to no end is that now your beehive shows anyone who has liked you, regardless of distance settings. So you need to expand distance to the max and swipe left a bunch to clear out beehive stragglers. Bumble's response to complaints is, "Try widening your distance filter!" Uh no, there's a reason you have a fucking distance filter in the first place Bumble!
The thread has moved on but I wanted to say that I think you are dead on, and SuperiorTrashTalk and Alwayscrazybacon are spending too much time in this thread to see your approach as problematic. You met a girl you found attractive. So what if others hit on her? So what if she didn't hold up a neon sign indicating she'd go out with you? I mean, meeting strangers and asking them out is still a thing, right? And you stopped yourself before you went full on weirdo, so basically good show chap.
man that sounds amazing, and on a first date too. nothing like being with somebody who's game to just let the night unfurl without a plan, that's a great feeling
It took me a bit to remember the context of this and I feel like my comment was misinterpreted. So I feel like I need to clarify since you called me out lol
There's nothing wrong with meeting a stranger and then asking them out. I don't think either me or ACB said that was problematic. But if you have a brief chat with a stranger and then later are searching up their friend on Facebook in order to try and get in contact with them for a date, it's going to come off as creepy. Disregarding that, it's a level of investment that's most likely too high for such a common and unremarkable encounter - you should've shot your shot when you had a chance. Otherwise, it's just a stranger you had a short chit chat with and you should probably move on.
People call out to cosplayers at conventions all the time because they like the character or the costume and brief and even pleasant chats can and do result from them. It doesn't always mean the person is romantically interested, in fact, I would say it doesn't mean they're into you the majority of the time. Basically, you need to adjust your expectations accordingly and read for signs that there is actually interest there beyond "hey your costume is cool." There's also a lot to say about how common it is for women to be hit on and asked out at geek conventions, especially in the unpleasant way and how that factors into this whole scenario when you ask "so what if others hit on her?"
Absolutely, the context matters. The treatment of women at cons has been very well documented now.
While I totally understand the angle those two posters were coming from (and value their feedback) I appreciate your support too.
Those two initial responses were correct I think in establishing that once you're going through other people to track down a stranger, you've entered creep territory. I feel fairly confident that my original intent (to message the woman on Facebook asking for a copy of her photo, see if a conversation developed and then, if the signs were right, ask her out) would probably seem totally reasonable and appropriate to most people.
The other important point was that, as they've now reiterated, it's important to not misinterpret fannish enthusiasm for romantic interest. There's definitely a difference between going into something thinking "This person is totally into me, time to put a move on them" versus "We spoke at the con, this is a conversation starter".
Thanks, man. Hopefully things continue to go well
I honestly loved that about her.
One of the first things I asked her on the way to go eat was what day her birthday is and it's 3 days before mine lol I asked because she's a lot like me and the people I've met throughout my life that are a lot like me are also Sagittarius'.
I'm not super into signs and shit but many of my best friends have been born a few days away from my birthday
What do you mean by the intensity not matching? That she wasn't feeling you like you were feeling her?
It always feels bad no matter how you look at it. Rejection is never fun and it's something I've feared most of my life so I missed a lot of opportunities because of it. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. There's someone out there that will appreciate you it's just the journey that's sometimes a little difficult. But it'll be worth it in the end. Keep your head up , my friend
It's all part of the game, just don't let it cloud your view of dating no matter how many times it happens. Go play some videogames to take your mind off it.
It's not always easy that's for sure. Some girls post pictures that just beg for you to talk about just how good they look. That's why most of my responses have come from me commenting on their Answer captions. So take advantage of that too
I could use some advice with this girl i like at work. I think we have a good relationship, we have alot in common and generally share the same interests, we often have long converstations giving eachother compliments etc. In the past i made some gestures and said some things showing i was interrested in her. She respnded well to it saying it was cool and she appreciated the gesture but she was happy with her boyfriend and not looking for something else. I got the message and left it at that. I had some dates/short relationships after that but havent found anyone that i would be interrested in for a long time relationship.
Well about 3 weeks ago she broke up with her boyfriend of 10 (!) years and it made me realize I'm still interrested in her and no girl i've met in the meantime could compare to her. I've decided to ask her out for a date/drinks but there 2 things that make me kinda hesitant to do so.
1. I got this nagging feeling she might not be interested in me romantically (aka frienzoned). How would you guys handle this without ruining our current relationship?
2. How long would you have to wait between her breaking up with her boyfriend and me asking her out? They were together for a long time and she still has to sort out alot of stuff between them (they owned a house together). I dont want to appear as some creep that pounces on her as soon as she comes available.
Well about 3 weeks ago she broke up with her boyfriend of 10 (!) years and it made me realize I'm still interrested in her and no girl i've met in the meantime could compare to her. I've decided to ask her out for a date/drinks but there 2 things that make me kinda hesitant to do so.
1. I got this nagging feeling she might not be interested in me romantically (aka frienzoned). How would you guys handle this without ruining our current relationship?
2. How long would you have to wait between her breaking up with her boyfriend and me asking her out? They were together for a long time and she still has to sort out alot of stuff between them (they owned a house together). I dont want to appear as some creep that pounces on her as soon as she comes available.
She's not interested in you. Move along, your judgement is clouded already when your saying "no girl you've met compares to her", don't date coworkers as a general rule.
Get on the apps and meet new people.
This is the girl you gave a rose for Valentine's day while she had a boyfriend? Doesn't sound like you got the message.
Yes you're friendzoned and you should learn some boundaries. Go meet new people.
This relationship hardly feels like a relationship. It hasn't been what I hoped or expected, but that doesn't mean I want to break up with her.
I haven't seen her since the night we decided to enter a relationship, and that was close to a month ago. We have plans to go to an event on the 23rd, and I'm looking forward to that. We talk pretty much every day over text, and she's been working a lot...but I thought I'd see her.
She says her parents want to meet me. They've heard a lot about me, and already apparently like me because I've helped her out a lot during tough times in the past.
Since we know each other well, she asked if I would move in and rent the biggest bedroom in their townhouse this summer, but I think that'd be too big a step right now. Though I do want to get a new place.
I haven't seen her since the night we decided to enter a relationship, and that was close to a month ago. We have plans to go to an event on the 23rd, and I'm looking forward to that. We talk pretty much every day over text, and she's been working a lot...but I thought I'd see her.
She says her parents want to meet me. They've heard a lot about me, and already apparently like me because I've helped her out a lot during tough times in the past.
Since we know each other well, she asked if I would move in and rent the biggest bedroom in their townhouse this summer, but I think that'd be too big a step right now. Though I do want to get a new place.
Here you go. This is hilariously bad.
So I've been seeing someone for the past month and have been on five dates with them so far. Things were fun and was going great until I looked her up and found their social media, where I discovered she was slandering me(not directly, but it was obvious who she was talking about with context) in some of her posts.
I confronted her about it, in which she apologized and seemed genuinely sorry about what she did. She said she understands if I don't want to see her again, but would really like to keep seeing me and will do better. I told her that I need to think about it.
Should I bother giving her a second chance?
I confronted her about it, in which she apologized and seemed genuinely sorry about what she did. She said she understands if I don't want to see her again, but would really like to keep seeing me and will do better. I told her that I need to think about it.
Should I bother giving her a second chance?
Kind of weird to enter a relationship with someone and then not see them for 3 to 4 weeks. Is it a long distance relationship?
How much does she work? She doesn't have time to see you?
What kind of things did she say about you? Slander makes it sound pretty bad.
I know it's weird. It's not ideal. I hope that we'll see each other more soon.
We live 20 minutes apart. She works close to full-time, in retail. I know she doesn't have a day off until Wednesday.
Edit - Shortly after we started dating and she changed her status, she said that she wished people could just be happy for others. Apparently she had a couple of 'secret admirers' who voiced criticisms afterwards. They probably said bad things about me, but she didn't say.
She seems to be happy with her decision, but my anxiety is always high.
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I feel like we gotta know more about the type of things said. That's such a strange situation
Maybe slander was the wrong word to use, but they were about my current living situation and the sex. We talked about both of these topics in person, but it seems like she wasn't telling me how she really feels as the posts were more scathing (for example, "here's what I'd like for you to do in bed" in person compared to "I got some bad d" on the internet)
I mean I would be pretty upset by that. Don't know how or why she thought that would be okay
I just switched to Hinge and started chatting with a good-fit match the following morning and struck up a conversation. Granting that it's probably boosting me for being new but I really like the experience. It gives you great icebreakers in the profile and gives everyone else the same so it's very structured, but in a way that shunts you to revealing fun things about yourself, which really helps for sorting out the matches from the people who are basic and the people who just *look* basic but are in fact quite interesting.
It takes what I liked about OKCupid (that I had more of a chance to sell myself than just pictures which remains a weakness of mine) but takes the guesswork out of writing a good profile (as I've yet to master the art of writing profiles).
See how this goes.
It takes what I liked about OKCupid (that I had more of a chance to sell myself than just pictures which remains a weakness of mine) but takes the guesswork out of writing a good profile (as I've yet to master the art of writing profiles).
See how this goes.
I was pretty upset at it yeah, but at the same time confused for the same reasons you said.
I was even more confused when I found the posts, as her latest one was more kind, talking about how I was treating her right. This one was a few days ago, while the other ones I mentioned earlier were a bit after we started seeing each other weeks ago
Have you spoken to her about it? Make sure you don't just quietly suffer things you dislike in the relationship. I get that retail jobs can be cruel with hours but if you only live 20 minutes away from each other, there's no reason why you can see each other regularly. Like we all have busy lives as adults but we make time for the people we view as priorities and your girlfriend/boyfriend is one of those.
Have you been trying to spend time together and she's shooting you down? It's like, you're her boyfriend... it's totally reasonable to want to see her more than zero times a week.
That's incredibly shitty and I wouldn't want to keep seeing someone who did something like that. The thing you have to realize is that she meant all these things when she said them and her first thought was to share them on the internet. She apologized because you found them but what was she thinking? If your relationship was going anywhere, you would have been on her social media at some point. She seems very likely to be the type to talk shit behind your back to her friends further down the line. Either way, it's clear she doesn't respect you.
That's fucked. I personally wouldn't tolerate that passive-aggressive shit. If people know you're dating then they're gonna piece it together. Imagine how she'd react if you did the same?
What to do, when all your friends are in relationship/or idiots? I have nobody, who wants to go out anymore -.-
Some just want to spend all the time at home and smoking/gaming/gambling and there are few, they dont want to spent any money and others, are just boring.
I don't want to meet someone on the internet, its consumes too much time (that i dont have) and for good dating apps, you need good photos, and the old photos of mine are not good...
Some just want to spend all the time at home and smoking/gaming/gambling and there are few, they dont want to spent any money and others, are just boring.
I don't want to meet someone on the internet, its consumes too much time (that i dont have) and for good dating apps, you need good photos, and the old photos of mine are not good...
I'm in a similar boat regarding having all of your mates in relationships.
If you don't want to meet someone on the internet, consider meeting someone at a social group designed for an interest of yours (such as photography groups on meetup) or going by yourself to a bar or club. There's bound to be others there you could make friends with or girls/guys who are looking for someone too.
i always thought, you must be crazy or real lonely, to go alone to a bar or club... but now i just want to go out, and have some beer and talk with others. Also the weather is getting better and better...
I real miss the time, when i met my ex girlfriend, at first we were just friends at university, and i liked it, that she wanted to go out so often, grab a beer and chill at the green meadow, or some wine etc.
I loved it, because at the time (like now), my friends did all the boring stuff, to meet fridays, saturdays at friends home and play poker or something like that, and that everyweekend.
I whish, i could turn back the time...
Internet dating is just one tool in the box, you can go out and meet someone in more traditional methods. If your friends don't want to hang out, guess what? You've got that time to look at the apps! Also while your friends don't want to hang out, you've got time to take some new photos.
Your only other choice is to hang out with that one friend who's still single.