Read my edit above I'm super impatient lolWas the radio silence only for a day? If so, that's not radio silence lol
Read my edit above I'm super impatient lolWas the radio silence only for a day? If so, that's not radio silence lol
That's what made me laugh, you jumped the gun! Texting culture has made us so impatient sometimes lol
So basically you respected her request to not escalate the night you stayed over, and then she revealed she really did want to mess around - and now she isn't interested in you anymore because you didn't escalate?
This sounds like a hot mess and you should find someone else who won't dick you around. You'll probably never know if her explanation is the real reason why she doesn't want to move forward with you - but if someone truly likes you, this shouldn't be an issue you have to deal with, especially when you've only hung out with her 3 times. Seems like you just weren't as compatible as you thought you were, based on her needs - whatever those are.
You probably feel like a fool because you got way over-hyped about this girl who ticked all the right boxes. It happens.. You seem to have no trouble getting dates, so just keep looking.
Well funny thing, I messaged her the other day. Not much conversation to see what happens cause she messaged me back and immediately asked if I wanted to grab coffee with her. So, yeah, that's a thing that's happening later this week.I say there's no harm in accepting the invite and seeing where things go. Like maybe not message her and immediately ask her out but start a conversation and see what happens.
Hmmm...strange. The part about the surgery recovery scares me though. I might check on her to see if she's okay but avoid datingSo uhh.. People are weird.
Long story short, a couple years ago, I was dating this girl for about a month. Small background- we talked a long time before we started dating and while I lived abroad we sort of kept in touch and it fels like our minds clicked and we knew once I come back home we'll start dating. So.. after a month she suddenly flipped and started ghosting and I had to pry out of of her that it doesn't feel "right" for her so I said okay bye and cut all ties.
A week ago she suddenly friended me again on FB, and we started talking and she immediately bombarded me with how she still thinks about me, she misses me, she didn't know back then what she's feeling and she was all confused and she felt like I hated her so she couldn't try and reach out to me again and blablablabla. I took the bait and started talking honest but I felt like this is getting way too personal way too fast so I suggested we meet to catch up. (She's just gone through some surgery so it'd take about 3-4 weeks before she's recovered and be able to meet)
And now comes the weird part. Two days ago, during some random shit talk, she messages me something along the likes of "you make me upset" but with a lot of stupid emojis that make it look like blatant sarcasm. I asked why and she never replied back and now I found out she deleted her FB profile. What in the actual fuck?
I still have her number in my WhatsApp chat history but I doubt it's a good idea to try and ask her the hell is going on...
I think about this crap way more than I want to and it's because I feel like we could really make a good couple but damn this girl is all over the place.
It was a spinal disc surgery so fortunately nothing life threatening (she even sent post-surgery selfies so I know she's okay). During one of our random talks she even suggested we meet up next week so it makes everything even weirder.Hmmm...strange. The part about the surgery recovery scares me though. I might check on her to see if she's okay but avoid dating
Well funny thing, I messaged her the other day. Not much conversation to see what happens cause she messaged me back and immediately asked if I wanted to grab coffee with her. So, yeah, that's a thing that's happening later this week.
I'd end it. It's not unreasonable to start splitting meals after 5 dates. My now wife offered to split on the first date.Her exact response when I told her that I'm uncomfortable with the idea of someone who refuses on principal and that I was hoping for something closer to fair or 50/50 was, "I guess im just into chivalry" and she finds it "very unattractive" of me to bring it up.
Just to be clear, by dating for a month, do you mean in person? Even so, I would try to forget about her. She doesn't know what she wants, it's not working out with others, so she thinks you can be her backup but you have self-worth so you won't entertain it. Right?So uhh.. People are weird.
Long story short, a couple years ago, I was dating this girl for about a month. Small background- we talked a long time before we started dating and while I lived abroad we sort of kept in touch and it fels like our minds clicked and we knew once I come back home we'll start dating. So.. after a month she suddenly flipped and started ghosting and I had to pry out of of her that it doesn't feel "right" for her so I said okay bye and cut all ties.
A week ago she suddenly friended me again on FB, and we started talking and she immediately bombarded me with how she still thinks about me, she misses me, she didn't know back then what she's feeling and she was all confused and she felt like I hated her so she couldn't try and reach out to me again and blablablabla. I took the bait and started talking honest but I felt like this is getting way too personal way too fast so I suggested we meet to catch up. (She's just gone through some surgery so it'd take about 3-4 weeks before she's recovered and be able to meet)
And now comes the weird part. Two days ago, during some random shit talk, she messages me something along the likes of "you make me upset" but with a lot of stupid emojis that make it look like blatant sarcasm. I asked why and she never replied back and now I found out she deleted her FB profile. What in the actual fuck?
I still have her number in my WhatsApp chat history but I doubt it's a good idea to try and ask her the hell is going on...
I mean, she could delete her FB profile for many other reasons but the timing makes it look suspicious and I'm getting super fucking annoyed by the thought that maybe she just played with me to make herself feel better? Or am I way too overthinking?
I think about this crap way more than I want to and it's because I feel/felt like we could really make a good couple but damn this girl is all over the place.
I know how you feel. It really sucks and feels like it's just impossible to have anything work out. Especially when you see other people going on multiple dates in short amounts of time. Makes you wonder what the hell you're doing wrong.So the girl who seemed really keen on a date has just completely ghosted when I tried to set a time.
I don't know if I can do this anymore. I feel absolutely hopeless. It's been 4 months and I haven't been on a single date. I know this is normal, I know I'm overthinking, but damn to constantly get SO close to even having a date then fudging it is just tragic. Fucking hell.
So the girl who seemed really keen on a date has just completely ghosted when I tried to set a time.
I don't know if I can do this anymore. I feel absolutely hopeless. It's been 4 months and I haven't been on a single date. I know this is normal, I know I'm overthinking, but damn to constantly get SO close to even having a date then fudging it is just tragic. Fucking hell.
I checked with friends and don't think I did anything wrong. She just lost interest. And it's fine, I do it too. The whole process is just so interchangeable and happenstance, it's crazy.I know how you feel. It really sucks and feels like it's just impossible to have anything work out. Especially when you see other people going on multiple dates in short amounts of time. Makes you wonder what the hell you're doing wrong.
All I can say is try and take a break. A week, a month, somewhere in between. Dating isn't really fun, it drains you over time so it's best to give yourself time to recuperate or it'll wreck you.
Yeah it's good to be resilient but it's also not bad to realize dating can deteriorate your self worth and is just generally a frustrating drain. It's never a bad idea to just put it out of your mind for a bit before you dive back in.I checked with friends and don't think I did anything wrong. She just lost interest. And it's fine, I do it too. The whole process is just so interchangeable and happenstance, it's crazy.
I'll be resilient and keep going, have to learn to stop getting so invested and excited about it.
But then do I do that every time a date goes awry? When will I ever meet anybody?Yeah it's good to be resilient but it's also not bad to realize dating can deteriorate your self worth and is just generally a frustrating drain. It's never a bad idea to just put it out of your mind for a bit before you dive back in.
I've kind of done it myself. Deleted Tinder, haven't been on the other apps. I do have a date tomorrow but it's not exactly one I was seeking out. I'll probably start trying again in the new year.
I checked with friends and don't think I did anything wrong. She just lost interest. And it's fine, I do it too. The whole process is just so interchangeable and happenstance, it's crazy.
I'll be resilient and keep going, have to learn to stop getting so invested and excited about it.
Even if you spent 1 week matching with someone and 1 week recharging, that's still 26 dates in a year. You'll have found someone by then lol.But then do I do that every time a date goes awry? When will I ever meet anybody?
So it's crazy this time last week I was so happy and chilled being single, this date was just another thing going on; but to have it dangled and then come to nothing is just so demotivating.
No not every time, just when it's clear that it's getting to you big time. For me, the frustration builds until I just become cynical and pessimistic about the whole thing. That's when I know I need to step away for a bit.But then do I do that every time a date goes awry? When will I ever meet anybody?
So it's crazy this time last week I was so happy and chilled being single, this date was just another thing going on; but to have it dangled and then come to nothing is just so demotivating.
Unfortunately this logic operates on the idea that you can get a date every other week. It doesn't quite work that way hahaEven if you spent 1 week matching with someone and 1 week recharging, that's still 26 dates in a year. You'll have found someone by then lol.
Yeah, had a chance to discuss this with some of my girl friends and they were shocked, it felt like a reversed gender typical thirsty asshole guy situation.
On her book she was patiently waiting for me to give "signals of attraction", which I struggle to understand how all the physical interaction we had (she was constantly smelling me when hugging for example, while I was kissing her quite often obviously on SFW parts) was not enough to understand I was into her.
This dragged for more than a month of texting, and those few but intense meetings.
And yeah, so far Hinge has revealed to be 100% times better than Tinder, heard about bumble but I think that here in the UK the dating apps thing is not as big as the US so I'll stick to one platform.
But cheers mate, appreciate the positive vibes.
So the girl who seemed really keen on a date has just completely ghosted when I tried to set a time.
I don't know if I can do this anymore. I feel absolutely hopeless. It's been 4 months and I haven't been on a single date. I know this is normal, I know I'm overthinking, but damn to constantly get SO close to even having a date then fudging it is just tragic. Fucking hell.
If you live in California literally everyone has a Disneyland photoFired up Hinge for about 10 minutes after being off apps for nearly a year and I swear I've never seen so many wine glasses and sun hats.
If you live in California literally everyone has a Disneyland photo
Tinder, got her number, she was keen and texted lots/wanted to meet. I suggested cocktails in the city, her response was literally "God yes please". Then when I texted later to set up a time, she just hasn't replied since then. Ah well.So what happened? You flirted over text for awhile and then tried to set a date and poof?
1) How long did you text?
2) Via what app?
3) What was the nature of the texts?
4 months and no dates suggests you might be need to reassess your profile. If you don't think you can work on that, maybe save yourself the effort and focus on yourself/self-improvement. Join a club. Do new things. Find stuff about yourself and seek validation from within instead of seeking it in people that are not receptive to the awesomeness you have to offer.
Hm you said you kissed, have you ever been in a situation with her where things could possibly escalate? If one of you doesn't invite the other home nothing will happen, unless you go to an hotel or do it in cinema or in the street lolI've been seeing this girl about once a week for a month and a half but have been struggling with getting that physical intimacy going. We've kissed a couple times but she's not a good kisser. I guess there just haven't been a sexy vibe during our time together which is a bummer because I do like her. I'm also very bad at making a move. It's felt really chaste, the times I've seen her.
An embarrassing moment occurred the last time I went out with her. We were going in to see a movie but I couldn't remember which pocket I put them in. I'm searching my pockets and taking stuff out when I pulled a condom, mistaking it for the tickets. I quickly put them back in my pocket, not sure if she registered that awkward moment but she most likely did. I bring a condom on dates because you never know, it might come in handy. But flashing it to her when we haven't really gone that far, I cringe when I think about it. Felt like a sleazeball the rest of the night so we didn't get close. Left the date thinking this thing might be over.
Anyways, she texted me a couple of days after and we got something set up tomorrow. Gonna load up on some anxiety pills before the date so I don't let my hang-ups get in the way. Planning to invite her home finally but I'm anxious about how things will go. I should embrace her because I really want to. We should be cuddling, I mean we like each other from what I can tell. Not trying to be a creep at all but something physical needs to happen, or else I'm just wasting time.
Yeah, don't sweat this.
That said, you seem less assured in escalation. At a certain point, you have to think logically - hey I'm 34, this woman is 34, we are making out in a bed - what happens next? You can't be afraid of taking a step because, well, you know what happens when you don't. You can be respectful and still make a move. Can't be afraid to be foolish in love and lust my friend.
See? Dating Era was onto something when we all stood in solidarity with #teamairplanegirlHey DatingEra so a bit of an update on the saga that is my dating life.
Hung out with AirplaneGirl a few weekends ago. It was a fun hangout. Had a date scheduled with Marsha a few days later but life (Hers) got in the way. Thought it was a soft no, so left her my number just in case.
Had a date with AirplaneGirl a few weeks later, It went well. She's definitely a bit different then I thought she'd be. Mostly in good ways. This information ended up accelerating things a bit and led to a DTR conversation. I told her I wasn't ready to date/be a couple but we'd keep hanging out and I wasn't going to be available for anyone else. It's way too early to normally have the conversation but it took all the pressure off. If it works out or not who knows, but at least it has a stable foundation.
Got a call from Marsha a few days ago about meeting up Aka the girl I'd told I wasn't looking to really date. Turns out she'd been completely genuine and I had to tell her that I didn't want to meet up because I was interested in someone else.
It felt like shit, mainly because I don't like confrontation, and because as you know I was #teammarsha at the start of all this.
Still things with APGirl are going good. We are going to keep things going slowly and see where it gets us. Maybe it's real, maybe it's a breakup a few months from now. Not sure but I'm going to give it the best chance it can get to be something real
Could be that she wants attention, could also be that she actually wants to go out with you. I think it depends on what you want? Are you over it or do you want to give it a shot?People are weird. I was speaking to a girl at the start of the year practically every day for around 3 months but never actually met. The closest we came was a facetime chat. She worked almost every day of the week and had classes on top of that, which I get, but every time we planned on a certain day it never happened. So I finally gave up. I gave it one last try a couple of months later since I was really interested in her, but after she told me yet again that maybe we could meet up the following week and never followed up after that, I was done. And here we are 6 months later and she messaged me out of the blue. I guess it's because she wants attention or something?
She definitely needs attention, don't give it to her.People are weird. I was speaking to a girl at the start of the year practically every day for around 3 months but never actually met. The closest we came was a facetime chat. She worked almost every day of the week and had classes on top of that, which I get, but every time we planned on a certain day it never happened. So I finally gave up. I gave it one last try a couple of months later since I was really interested in her, but after she told me yet again that maybe we could meet up the following week and never followed up after that, I was done. And here we are 6 months later and she messaged me out of the blue. I guess it's because she wants attention or something?
Could be that she wants attention, could also be that she actually wants to go out with you. I think it depends on what you want? Are you over it or do you want to give it a shot?
If you're over it, it's as easy as ignoring her. If you're still interested, I guess you could just ask her out again. It can't hurt. Just don't allow yourself to get caught up in meaningless back and forth chatting and try and see if she actually wants to go out this time. You should easily be able to tell if she's serious or if she's just doing the same old thing from how she responds to you.
She definitely needs attention, don't give it to her.
Just move on.
Well if you already responded to her I'd say just ask her out. But really if she puts you off again then cut contact completely. Dont message back and forth with her, push for a conclusion.I'd be lying if I said I wasn't in to her. It's the most attracted I've been to someone online and I've had some of the best conversations with her compared to other people. But I'd just be worried that I'd get another kind of same response from her where nothing happens after like 5-6 times before. I did respond to her when she messaged me a couple of days ago and it's mostly been a "how've you been kind of thing". I'm not sure if she's waiting for me to ask her out again or what since sometimes I'm oblivious to those kinds of things.
Hmmm...
People are weird. I was speaking to a girl at the start of the year practically every day for around 3 months but never actually met. The closest we came was a facetime chat. She worked almost every day of the week and had classes on top of that, which I get, but every time we planned on a certain day it never happened. So I finally gave up. I gave it one last try a couple of months later since I was really interested in her, but after she told me yet again that maybe we could meet up the following week and never followed up after that, I was done. And here we are 6 months later and she messaged me out of the blue. I guess it's because she wants attention or something?
I just got rejected by a girl I've known for 6 years that I have a lot in common with and it hurts quite a bit. We've always gone out and done things together and kept in contact and now all I can think of with.
My entire relationship history has been fucked up beyond a joke from girls who left me for guys who bashed them to girls dropping me for Mr Moneybags to a girl outright acusing me of premeditated rape and putting a restraining order on me for buying her a nice present for Xmas. So it is super difficult to go back.
So What's wrong with you?
Not to be rude, but you are the common thread in all these experiences/situations. It probably time to reassess your choices and how you find yourself in these negative situations
Let's see, I have 2 bachelor degrees, 3 diplomas, a qualified chef, I am fit, I do martial arts, I get told I am kind and funny, but I do have an awkward side due to Aspergers. I am not blaming any of the girls in any of the cases, I am just frustrated that I always get weird outcomes. It's never "We don't get along, let's break up" it is " I'm going to go get beaten up by a dude and then come back crying on your door with his name carved in my back with a knife and then explain to you how you were right but you don't understand" kind of shit.
Working on your jealous side has nothing to do with being ok with polyamory. If you're not ok with it, it's really hard to make it work, and i don't blame you. I wouldn't go for it.I met this girl and we get along really really well. We have a date planned for christmas eve, and I was looking forward to it. She told me yesterday she's polyamorous, but hasnt had a relationship like that yet. She was married when she was younger, divorced, tried living with someone two times in the span of six years, and decided the monogamous thing wasnt for her.
The thing is, I dont think non-monogamous is for me. I'm way too jealous, but I know its something I have to work on and I want to work on it. So the question is do I pursue this thing that could leave me in shatters or keep at it and get to grips that every relationship ends eventually and we might just make the best of the time we have. We've only had a coffee date, she went to my side of town, through the rain, with a 30 min notice, because I was expecting a delivery and couldn't get too far away from my house. She's smart, funny, has style, and we kissed right there in the coffee shop. I haven't felt a connection like this in years and I'm welling up talking about it.
Working on your jealous side has nothing to do with being ok with polyamory. If you're not ok with it, it's really hard to make it work, and i don't blame you. I wouldn't go for it.