Ah okay fair enough, yeah I go through moments like that too.
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Ah okay fair enough, yeah I go through moments like that too.
hey at what point do you guys consider yourselves ghosted?
had a nice 2 hour first date last night, lots of contact, walked her to her car, and had a nice kiss. she seemed to enjoy the kiss, we were both smiling when we left
we also agreed on a second date during the date, she said she had a fun time
however i asked when she's free this morning but haven't heard back
when do you consider yourself ghosted?
had a nice 2 hour first date last night, lots of contact, walked her to her car, and had a nice kiss. she seemed to enjoy the kiss, we were both smiling when we left
we also agreed on a second date during the date, she said she had a fun time
however i asked when she's free this morning but haven't heard back
when do you consider yourself ghosted?
I think it's way too soon to assume that if it was just this morning. I'd give it a few days.
It's been one day. You are fine. If you don't hear from her in two days, follow up. In a week, move on.
Quoting my post cause I think it got buried on the previous page:
So my Girl caught me cheating ....
Yea I’m a piece of crap I know. I give her the keys to my place and what does she do?? Go on my computer logs onto my Facebook and reads all my messages. All of them. So yea she’s seen all the nasty convos and pics I’ve been having with other women throughout the years. All my hook up dates ect...www.resetera.com
Yo this nigga is trash. The fuck is this bullshit?
How can a dude be this garbage?
So I've gone full no contact with the v-day date, haven't heard back from her in 2 weeks. Last few times I tried to ask her out:
Too busy week before Vday
Forgot we had plans a couple days after
Got sick for a week
Then next week too busy, wanted to get back into yoga during the week, and had an aunt come in during the weekend.
Then I asked her one last time, a date idea she suggested, said she was busy on that particular day, I asked what about another day, and she ignored it, but reacted to the date idea with excitement (a "oooh"). To me that was a clear sign of her just not giving a shit anymore.
Over that time she stopped calling, and started initiating less and less.
I'm not sure if just dropping communication with her was the right after, but I do feel like it was the right thing to do after a month of just nothing from her, gave me time to reflect and all the small things you just kind of glide over, and you look back and go, okay yeah, why did I put up with that. She hasn't reached out in 2 weeks (outside of an emoji reaction on IG) so I'm confident I made the right move.
A couple of weeks, I'd say reach out at least once, just keep the conversation going, but it is a wrinkle, if she's interested she'll keep in touch and it shouldn't affect anything.
Too busy week before Vday
Forgot we had plans a couple days after
Got sick for a week
Then next week too busy, wanted to get back into yoga during the week, and had an aunt come in during the weekend.
Then I asked her one last time, a date idea she suggested, said she was busy on that particular day, I asked what about another day, and she ignored it, but reacted to the date idea with excitement (a "oooh"). To me that was a clear sign of her just not giving a shit anymore.
Over that time she stopped calling, and started initiating less and less.
I'm not sure if just dropping communication with her was the right after, but I do feel like it was the right thing to do after a month of just nothing from her, gave me time to reflect and all the small things you just kind of glide over, and you look back and go, okay yeah, why did I put up with that. She hasn't reached out in 2 weeks (outside of an emoji reaction on IG) so I'm confident I made the right move.
A couple of weeks, I'd say reach out at least once, just keep the conversation going, but it is a wrinkle, if she's interested she'll keep in touch and it shouldn't affect anything.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight. I have some very mild cold symptoms this week (no cough), and my country has taken a bunch of lockdown measures since yesterday, so I figured it was obvious to postpone. But instead, judging by her curt response when I canceled, she seemed unimpressed; like she would've been fine to just hang out in a busy bar right now. I don't know, it seems irresponsible to me. I'm still somewhat interested in meeting her but maybe there's already a mismatch in our characters.
I'm probably not going on any new first dates for a while. Luckily I'm seeing two other women lately, one of whom (the one I got the cold from) has progressed to the point where we see each other at our homes, so that makes things less complicated, lockdown-wise.
I'm probably not going on any new first dates for a while. Luckily I'm seeing two other women lately, one of whom (the one I got the cold from) has progressed to the point where we see each other at our homes, so that makes things less complicated, lockdown-wise.
I would reach out to her at some point in the near future. You clearly are interested in each other. I think it'd be weird for you both not to talk at least a little bit while she's out of town. Even something as simple as "how are things going?" is appropriate and it shows you're thinking about her. Especially since we're talking about texting and not calling her.
Obviously, I wouldn't message her her daily unless she's keeping the momentum going the entire time. But a couple of times while she's gone? Seems pretty benign to me.
I texted her and she responded pretty enthusiastically. Had a fun exchange so it definitely felt worth it. Thanks!
I think I'm about ready to bounce off these apps. They're just not my style and I don't work well when talking over an app, I need to see someone face to face and I'm horrible at getting to that point.
I also have no idea how I'm expected to talk myself up and make me look any better than my boring ass is.
I also have no idea how I'm expected to talk myself up and make me look any better than my boring ass is.
How's coronavirus affected your dating life? I had asked a couple people out before shit hit the fan but there is no motivation to meet up at all. Just going out to a restaurant feels irresponsible.
got out of a 5 year relationship a month ago.
i live in a tiny city and seem to have the best luck with hinge and tinder overall, although there still aren't a ton of users on either. i've only matched with one person on bumble.
met two girls for uh, casual encounters (ironically from hinge), and they were great. conversely, i also got completely ghosted by another girl who i initially thought was the most promising. she asked for my number, made the first call, and then set up the initial date...which didn't eventuate. radio silence for a week now. ah well.
i live in a tiny city and seem to have the best luck with hinge and tinder overall, although there still aren't a ton of users on either. i've only matched with one person on bumble.
met two girls for uh, casual encounters (ironically from hinge), and they were great. conversely, i also got completely ghosted by another girl who i initially thought was the most promising. she asked for my number, made the first call, and then set up the initial date...which didn't eventuate. radio silence for a week now. ah well.
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Yeah, I've put a 100% pause on everything. Not like much was going on for me anyway, so that + all the craziness going on made me delete all of my dating apps for now.
That's where I'm at. Even though I started getting a bit more nibbles on Hinge talking on apps is such a chore, especially when their profiles RARELY give you anything interesting to work with.
You love to travel and hate dishonesty, that's cool.
You're welcome, and I'm glad she was enthusiastic to hear from you!
We'll I'm pretty confident girl from my date Thursday just ghosted me. No text response since our date and I sent a text asking her out last night and she hasn't sent a reply
Could have done a few things better on the date and she was very attractive, so there are lessons to be learned here. Just need to make sure to not make those same small mistakes in the future. I also think she may have wanted to hook up and I didn't bring up anything sexual on the date, which is something I'm working on, she may have thought I was looking for something serious or something, hard to tell
Oh well, I will do better next time, this girl was definitely the most attractive I've taken out on a date yet, so that's cool and a bit of a feather in my cap
I'm not looking to date at all right now but I was curious about how many new people there are during this pandemic and there is a fuckton of new people.
I guess it's just the winter BF/GF dynamic. People are coupling up for lockdown.
You said there was a lot of contact on your date, you kissed, and it's fine not to discuss sex on first date if she didn't bring it up. What mistakes do you think you made or could have done better? Does she play any role in how the ghosting happened, was she not quiet in text or not seeming as interested before the ghosting? Btw don't bother contacting her again for closure, you're not going to get it
I live in a cold area, offered her my coat when walking her to her car, she declined but I should have made her take it as she was cold during walk, was not masculine of me, she is feminine
She was wearing 3 inch heels and I was shorter than her. Can't do anything about that but this girl probs has lots of options so that may have been a thing
I had met her briefly one time before and she was a bit sexual which is why I think it was a fail to not bring up sex, cause I was game
I should also mention that being aggressive and masculine is a big part of my appeal as a prospect for women
I'm not upset, I'm getting better :)
I don't see anything you did wrong. Forcing someone to wear your coat after you offered and they declined is not a sign of masculinity. You were being respectful. If there was an issue of height, she wouldn't have met you for a second time. If the talk of sex didn't naturally come up between you two on the second meeting, that's not your fault. Glad you're moving on from this!
I've stopped proactively liking people, only matching on girls that like me first. But now I'm thinking, am I self selecting a group of irresponsible or just science disrespecting people hahaha
generally, making people do things won't garner much success in the dating world.
I'm not even matching with people who have already Liked me on Hinge. I feel like the chance of carrying a convo without meeting up for weeks is pretty low, and I don't see myself doing dates with pretty much everything in Philly shutting down soon. Better to hope their account is still active in late April/May/whatever and match then, I think.
So to respond to the other poster, dating life is on hold for the moment!
Very similar situation, but there's definitely been an uptick in likes (people with time on their hands haha), and it feels like such a waste to just ignore them! I figure we'd never find each other again in another month or two, so might as well chat and see? There's no protocol for this... Where's the sleazy redpill lifecoach to tell me how to navigate these waters??
I was talking to this girl on Hinge last week and I was literally at the point in the conversation where the only logical move was to ask them out when shit started getting real in the city. I probably would've asked her out for this past weekend but thought better of it and kind of just left her hanging which I hate to do.
I'm kind of annoyed how bad this timing is since I was finally getting some momentum with dating. I had something going with 3 people that were put to a halt but 1st world problems and all that. People have far greater concerns than being able to go on a date. I do wish I had a quarantine buddy though haha
I'm wondering what to do about a few people I asked on normal dates to bars but date hasn't happened yet
We mow can't meet up at bars and restaurants
So like should I just be organizing dates at my place or theirs for like games/food/movie/hang out
It's a bit early for 'normal' dating to invite over first or second date but this virus is changing everything
What would you guys do
We mow can't meet up at bars and restaurants
So like should I just be organizing dates at my place or theirs for like games/food/movie/hang out
It's a bit early for 'normal' dating to invite over first or second date but this virus is changing everything
What would you guys do
Coffee picnic date? Find a park or some green that isn't filled with people, lay out a blanket and sip coffee and talk?
Hell bring some Kahlua, I feel like nobody's going to care atm.
Skype date. Plan a nice date that's indoors, picknic, Dinner and a movie ect and just Skype it. At the very least they will see your place and that you aren't a creep. If they feel good about it you might get a 2nd actual date
This is a good idea, the problem being Weather depending on where you are. Right now it's a cold and rainy 44°, so it's not really fun to sit outside either. I had a couple of dates lined up but really only one of them is going to be doable and that just so happens because it's going to be 65 on Thursday.
I like the Skype date idea but that's also something That to me would be a little bit easier if you've already met at least once or twice.
Just came into this thread to complain about COVID shutting down every potential dating spot within a 100 mile radius of me, it's a bummer. I'm talking to a couple different, interesting girls. Had a first meet-up scheduled this Thursday with one of them but everything around us is closed or only doing curb-side pickup for food. I''ll have to get creative when thinking of places we can potentially meet.
Man I'm gutted, getting ghosted by your girlfriend sucks. We went temporarily long-distance the last three months cause she visited her home country, had to stay there longer than expected due to a medical issue and now with the pandemic I have no idea when (or if) she'll be coming back. But that's just an inconvenience, the real problem is that our communication has ground to a halt. None of us are big texters or chatters and we were both more or less ok not talking to each other for a couple days, especially with the 12 hour time difference and our jobs. But now nothing feels right, a month into long-distance I felt she was becoming distant and we ended up videocalling for two-three hours once a week, and now for nearly three weeks it's been total silence. I tried calling her twice to no response, texted her if she's ok and still nothing. Talked to a mutual good friend of hers and she had also tried contacting her to no avail. She did eventually reply to me, last week, saying she's sorry and asking if we could talk later, but there was never a followup and we still haven't talked. That's like, the only text she sent to me this month.
I'm kind of at a loss here, it being my first relationship and all I've been really trying to make this work but I've had a terrible couple of months because of it. I know she's been like this in the past when going through a hard time, and now there's a lot of factors at play (the time difference, the situation in her country, the whole world being in a chaotic state) and I do still want to be there for her and help her out, but at this point there's nothing I can do and I feel more alone than when I was actually alone, if that makes sense.
I'm kind of at a loss here, it being my first relationship and all I've been really trying to make this work but I've had a terrible couple of months because of it. I know she's been like this in the past when going through a hard time, and now there's a lot of factors at play (the time difference, the situation in her country, the whole world being in a chaotic state) and I do still want to be there for her and help her out, but at this point there's nothing I can do and I feel more alone than when I was actually alone, if that makes sense.
I've only ever done a LDR once and that was many years ago, but I couldn't imagine not speaking to my partner every day. Even if it was just a 5 minute call or a couple of chat messages.
This honestly sounds like you've broken up and she just hasn't told you yet.
I'd message her and say you need to talk and you're not happy with the way things are currently going.
The writing is on the wall for this one. The only way for a LDR to actually function is proper communication on a regular basis between two parties. If you guys aren't on the same wavelength as to how often you communicate, it's going to crumble, as it is right now.
Also the fact she seems to be ignoring you (her boyfriend) isn't okay at all. Even with all the shit going on, I don't see how she can't at least shoot you a text every now and then assuring you she's okay? it takes 15 seconds to send a text. Unless she's physically in danger or hospitalized without any way to do so - it seems that she just doesn't want to talk to you and isn't interested in maintaining the relationship.
Like RolandofGilead said, you need to let her know you aren't happy with this. Everyone has certain needs in their relationships. If yours aren't being met, it's okay to call it out - or move on if need be. As of now, it seems like it's causing more harm than good for you. Put yourself first.
Yeah ... Im afraid both of you are right. I've just recently been trying to come to grips with it, after spending the last few weeks in denial about the situation and feeling like complete shit. I know I shouldn't have to feel like this in any healthy relationship.
Haven't had any luck getting ahold of her yet, but she did say we are going to talk and I still believe it will happen soon. I thought about just saying fuck it and tell her 'if you don't communicate by the end of the week this is over' or something, but felt it was way too aggressive and I don't like the idea of ultimatums anyway. She already knows I have my issues with this sort of communication, and we tried to remedy that through scheduled videocalls, but even that seems to have fallen apart.
The idea of breaking up and spending my first weeks alone again in complete isolation due to corona ... doesn't sound that good for me and especially my mental health, have to say. There's also the practical issue that a lot of her clothes and stuff are in my room and around the house - entire boxes of them ever since she moved out of her old place. But even this scenario might be better for me mentally than what's going on right now.
Breaking up with her for completely neglecting you isn't an ultimatum. You keep trying to contact her and she's not giving you the time of day, it's totally fair of you to let her know you're at your limit.
As for being in isolation after a break up, yeah, that's going to be rough but you're already in isolation essentially. Like you said, it might be better than what's going on now.
What are some good first date ideas for a pandemic? Bars, restaurants, movies etc are all on lockdown. I gotta seal the deal friends.
Literally just take her home my dude. Here in L.A./O.C. they're shutting everything down. I guess you can take her to a walk on the beach or something.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I'd like to tell you what I'm avoiding telling myself in my own relationship right now: it's over. You shouldn't feel this way and don't deserve to be treated like this. The sooner you start getting comfortable with that idea, the sooner you can heal. I hope you can find the strength to move on :(
hoping for the best for you bud, but we'll be okay
My guy, it's already over. You should just tell her that you aren't happy with how things are goijg communication wise and you need to talk about it in the next day or two. If she cant do that you just tell her you're done and she can get her shit whenever she is back in the country.
Long distance only works if both parties put in the effort. If she isn't doing her part willingly it's already over. It will be better for you to start the process of moving on now than letting it drag
Was setting up a date before all this went down including one with a really nice girl I used to work with so know pretty well - dead in the water now thanks to all this.
I think COVID-19 is going to kill a lot of relationships before it's all over. Already seen a friend breaking up with his long term girlfriend of 2 years due to the paranoia that's taken ahold and falling out over it.
I think COVID-19 is going to kill a lot of relationships before it's all over. Already seen a friend breaking up with his long term girlfriend of 2 years due to the paranoia that's taken ahold and falling out over it.