- Jul 20, 2018
It's her house lol, I ain't on the mortgage. I couldn't do anything to prevent her coming in if I wanted to. My only choice is to stay or go.
Best advice I can give is don't do this. If you're already torn up about what's happening, this will kill you. And most likely affect your kids. They pick up on more than you think.
Only the first one is old enough to have an inkling of what's going on (the others are four and three and three) and he's fine with it. He knew about the girlfriend before we split up. He knows that we're getting divorced but since we all live together doesn't mind. All kids get along well with the girlfriend
Uh, not really, after 10 years married you would be entitled to something on the mortgage or not. Especially depending on what state you are in. When you get divorced, you should get a lawyer.
Man I'm 23 and have had a weird last five years but honestly, that's a step too far.
I've been gymming it up and eating healthier for a while now. Lost about thirty pounds. Been on antidepressants for a year, seeing a therapist next month. Even that was planned before the breakup. I've got some issuesI really don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be living with them while their madly in love and you watch on like a loser. That seems insensitive but jeez I know how it feels to have bad social skills and anxiety and self blaming but stop seeing everything as your fault.
You make it sound Iike you’re the ultimate charity case and you were a long 10 year mistake tricking her into marriage and children the whole time. I think you should see a therapist and go to the gym. Stop getting walked on dude, move on.
I'm sorry you're dealing with all this, but from the outside it sounds like your ex-wife is taking advantage of it, whether she's aware of it or not. Like was said earlier in the thread, get a lawyer and see what your options are. Don't put yourself through this. You might think it's what is in the kids best interest, but you also have to consider that it's not going to be healthy for them to see their father miserable because he mentally destroyed himself trying to do the right thing.
The only thing I can suggest is trying meditation. At least it helped with my severe case of social anxiety. Best of luck to you and growing stronger from all this.
You've been married 10 years, do you think that matters? Get a lawyer, get a divorce, and get your share. Or be a doormat and live with your wife and her girlfriend, which is completely healthy.
OP I'm sorry but this is funny man you need to get out the of that house in the end she gets her happy family and you get nothing? Like come on man yall wildOnly the first one is old enough to have an inkling of what's going on (the others are four and three and three) and he's fine with it. He knew about the girlfriend before we split up. He knows that we're getting divorced but since we all live together doesn't mind. All kids get along well with the girlfriend
Everybody has issues, but you don’t sound too happy that your wife has her lover in the house. Just because she pays the mortgage doesn’t mean you shoulda have let her gf move in. You gotta raise that confidence up, you’re desperate for that attention even if it comes in the form of pity.
So is your wife gay or bi because I’m assuming she’s bi.
This is where you lost me. Get out of there OP, what's even holding you back?
Do you honestly think that neither party thought about the children?
My boy let this man know cause that's exactly what's happening
Yeah get yours my dude, stop being a punk and getting walked on.
I feel really bad for your kids. This is wrong.
Uh.....Somewhere in here we had a conversation about monogamy, and I expressed that I hadn't really believed in it for a long time but was sticking with it because that was what we agreed to. But she seemed slightly open to polyamory now, which surprised me. Not long after, her romantic interest from the forum site sent her a friend request from her new account on Facebook. After talking a bit they found they still had feelings for each other, so I was just like "yeah go for it" and they did.
UHHHHH.....But things changed after they met up for the first time again. My wife didn't seem so eager to be with me, then started expressing that she thought this might not be fair for me, then started talking about what might happen if we break up. And then we did. We've decided we'll continue living together and raising the kids together, but we're not a couple anymore and her girlfriend is going to move in with us.
....Well, in the end it's your call, but don't feel like that's your only option forever.
No. She's still living here and helping with the kids no problem. She's not leaving anything behind.Wait, is your exwife just dating that other person and not helping with her kids at all? You're not just staying there and having to watch them wave their relationship in front of you, but you're also the only person taking care of four kids?
This doesn't sound healthy for you at all. Your exwife sounds like she's just moving on with her life and leaving you to handle everything she's leaving behind. I agree with the other people saying that everyone living under one roof like this isn't a viable long term solution and will slowly kill you if you try to stick with it.
There's nothing left in this relationship for you except your kids.
Thanks for explaining. I can understand why you wouldn't want to move out. Certainly making this situation adversarial is not what anyone wants. But what's the long term plan?