That is a problem. You are entitled to half of what your wife owns OP.
He for sure needs to seek out a lawyer then. He also needs to use the fact that he is entitled to half of his wife's assets for leverage. Let your wife know OP that if she pays for you to become self-sufficient and agrees to joint custody you won't take her for everything she has in the inevitable divorce. If she doesn't help you, lawyer up and make her believe that you won't stop until you get half of everything AND full custody of your children.The problem is he seems to believe he isn't entitled to anything and while he's being made promises about things they'll do for him in the future, they are literally just empty promises right now.
He's incapable or unwilling to seek professional help with anything. At least if he'd speak to a lawyer, it'd help to make him seem interested in his future.
Don't be a doormat, the quicker you stand up for yourself the better off the future for both yourself and your children will become.