Dealing with the realization that my wife of ten years was never "in love" with me [READ STAFF POST]

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Big-E

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Oct 25, 2017
1,422
. d


I can make grilled cheese sandwiches and macaroni and cheeae, eggs, and other basic shit like that. I make pasta, heat barbecue ribs and stuff like that in the instant pot. When I say I can't cook I don't mean I literally can't prepare any food. I just don't consider stuff like that really cooking.

She likes making dinner when she gets home from work. She gets home early enough that it isn't a problem for her to do it. I do have to make dinner about twice a week, which is generally when I use the instant pot. I keep instructions saved on my phone even for things I make all the time, and I have to look at them every time.
That's better. You should look at expanding to making pasta sauce from scratch and to add some fish or meat dishes.

From all likelihood, you will eventually be living in your own so cooking better meals will have the effect of saving money for you and it would give your kids joy when you cook for them.
 
Oct 27, 2017
3,453
What are you going to do when you want to date and have a serious relationship with another person? Have you thought about how your potential partner might feel about all of this or even your ex?
 

mickeyphree

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Aug 3, 2018
416
OP...save this thread somehow. Deactivate your account and go get your life in order. mods lock this. nothing good is coming out of it.
 

gozu

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,944
America
She likes making dinner when she gets home from work. She gets home early enough that it isn't a problem for her to do it.
What if you did all the food prep for dinner before she gets home? Pick a recipe and then Cut everything and put it in bowls and whatnot. TV show style. That way, she will have only the fun parts of cooking. But perhaps you already do that.

I would also watch youtube lessons on cooking and work on becoming an awesome cook. It's easier to master than most things. It will greatly increase your value as a stay-at-home helper and reduce or delay friction between all of you. Not to mention that, as a parent, making healthy vegetables delicious for your children at this age will have a huge impact on their eating habits and health down the line and is really part of your duties as a parent.

So, two birds with one stone. Maybe three birds if you move out you'll eat delicious, cheap food made by yourself.
 

d9b

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Oct 27, 2017
1,479
What happens when they want to snuggle on the sofa and watch a movie after the kids are in bed?
 

Kumquat

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Jan 23, 2018
310
Anyone using cuck or beta male type language makes me side-eye them almost immediately.
Agreed, we don't need that type of language. We can get the point across without battering someone who is already feeling like shit. That's how suicides happen. Stop that shit and be just slightly emapthetic.

I sent you a private message OP. I hope it helps.
 

Maven

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,759
Earth
Good luck OP and I've read more of your comments in this thread. I think why you see some of the harsh comments is because you're still planning a future with her in your life. Obviously, she will be there because of the kids. But, you're talking as there's more with a future together.

You need to realize what she says today will not be the same in X months/years from now.
 
OP
OP
theotherMittens
Jul 20, 2018
2,672
What are you going to do when you want to date and have a serious relationship with another person? Have you thought about how your potential partner might feel about all of this or even your ex?
I don't have any intention of getting into a serious relationship any time soon, probably not until we've already moved (getting a new house is an ASAP thing). If everything goes to plan and we live in a duplex, it's not a tough situation IMO.

What happens when they want to snuggle on the sofa and watch a movie after the kids are in bed?
Wife prefers watching TV and movie in bed to the couch. If they want privacy they'll do that. We've already watched TV and movies together while they snuggled on the couch though.
 

Ash735

Member
Sep 4, 2018
541
Agreed, we don't need that type of language.
Whilst that person's usage of the word was in an insulting manner, reading the ops other comments in this thread has made me think that he does have some cuckolding tendancies, such as the comment where he said it brings him pleasure knowing she's sexually satisfied now, etc.
 
OP
OP
theotherMittens
Jul 20, 2018
2,672
Whilst that person's usage of the word was in an insulting manner, reading the ops other comments in this thread has made me think that he does have some cuckolding tendancies, such as the comment where he said it brings him pleasure knowing she's sexually satisfied now, etc.
My kink is different from cuckolding because it doesn't involve me feeling humiliated or cut off. Not sure exactly what to call it, but I guess you could say it's cuckolding-adjacent.
 

Quixzlizx

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,653
I've known people with kids that are in non-traditional relationships/living arrangements and they have very happy households so isn't it hard for us to judge how they are being effected? Like it's not really fair to say kids can't be happy in a polyamorous living situation or that it's going to mess them up. If there's a bunch of seething resentment then yeah they can pick up on it but we don't know what their house is like. Though is does sound like there are 3 unhappy parties here and that's no good, but at least it hasn't been going on for ages so there's till time to fix it by getting yourself in a better place OP.
This isn't polyamory though.
 
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