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do you carry your father's legacy?
- Thread starter bangai-o
- Start date
No. He's a carpenter and has more of an artisan's personality (more grounded and pragmatic), and I study continental and religious philosophy. If we weren't related we probably wouldn't even be friends, lol.
Instead of trying to carry someone else's legacy, why not try to create your own? No sane person will look at you and say "that guy never lived up to his father". Be your own person.
i've only been in one car accident and it wasnt caused by alcohol and also i never had a child that i abandoned so no
I haven't:
- Abandoned my daughter and my son (who has muscular dystrophy) from my first marriage by moving LITERALLY to the other coast of the US
- Disassociated myself from my entire family
- Been addicted to alcohol
- Been locked up for a DUI and then had to have my wife come to bail me out with my son waiting in the car because you can't find a sitter at 2 am
- Put my only son in the middle of a painful divorce
- Put my only son in mortal danger by driving drunk almost any time we go to an event or when I drop him off at his mom's
- Ignored my mother's funeral
- Ignored my sister's funeral
- Ignored my first son's funeral
So...I think I'm failing at carrying it on but that's okay.
- Abandoned my daughter and my son (who has muscular dystrophy) from my first marriage by moving LITERALLY to the other coast of the US
- Disassociated myself from my entire family
- Been addicted to alcohol
- Been locked up for a DUI and then had to have my wife come to bail me out with my son waiting in the car because you can't find a sitter at 2 am
- Put my only son in the middle of a painful divorce
- Put my only son in mortal danger by driving drunk almost any time we go to an event or when I drop him off at his mom's
- Ignored my mother's funeral
- Ignored my sister's funeral
- Ignored my first son's funeral
So...I think I'm failing at carrying it on but that's okay.
Nope. While he was and still is a bullshit artist who has failed mostly all the time along the time, he was still an honorable friend and coworker who got conned a few times because of his naive idealism. Thankfully that has made me a bitter cynic, mostly. And thank heavens I don't have stories where a night on the town involved racing muscle cars, illicit amounts of booze, baseball bats and a fuckton of slurs.
I'm not carrying on anything of his career wise or otherwise.
He's a recently retired teacher and that's a field I'm staying as far away from as possible. Having two teachers for parents and seeing the bullshit they go through all the time tends to do that I think.
He's also incredibly hot tempered, goes off on people at random and can't go a day without making fun of me in some way. He's not a terrible person by any means but definately not someone I want to emulate as I get older.
He's a recently retired teacher and that's a field I'm staying as far away from as possible. Having two teachers for parents and seeing the bullshit they go through all the time tends to do that I think.
He's also incredibly hot tempered, goes off on people at random and can't go a day without making fun of me in some way. He's not a terrible person by any means but definately not someone I want to emulate as I get older.
Yes, more or less. My dad had 4 kids. I have 4 kids (and a stepdaughter who I've raised). He was a software dev. I work in IT. I don't beat my kids like he did us, though. But he had a better work ethic than I do and I give him a ton of credit for being born to poor, nearly-illiterate parents who moved to Flint, MI during the Great Migration, being the first one in his family to earn a college degree, and providing for his family. Hell he still helps out, and he loves his grandkids.
In terms of tastes and hobbies? Totally! Same musical tastes (Metal, Prog, Classic Rock, Etc) and similar hobbies (Gaming, Music, DIY, Gardening) but career wise? Nowhere near, he worked in a very male focused industry as a construction worker and that's something which I can't get into due to my gender, I'm just not physically built for heavy laboring by default. I'm a gym instructor instead (Aerobics, Zumba, Self Defense) so yeah, nothing like my dad.
Have a ton of respect for my dad though! He worked non-stop during the week and brought me and my three brothers up in our late childhood/teenage years without any monetary support from my mother, who may as well be dead to me for all I care, horrible woman, and I'm glad she was seen as unfit to care for us by the courts.
Have a ton of respect for my dad though! He worked non-stop during the week and brought me and my three brothers up in our late childhood/teenage years without any monetary support from my mother, who may as well be dead to me for all I care, horrible woman, and I'm glad she was seen as unfit to care for us by the courts.
No. I carry my mother's and I will carry that until it is my time to pass it on to one of my future children.
I got into drums and music like him, but I went to college and am in an entirely different career than what he had. Unfortunately, he passed away nearly four years before I "amounted to anything" as I was just about to start college. I'd like to think that he'd be pretty proud of my success, and there's so much shit I wish I could talk to him about and learn from him as an adult.
I took over the family business, so in that respect, yeah. I deeply regret it every day. We've managed to make a business that is impervious to success, we always make ends meet, but it never does well enough to pay me more than basically $6 an hour. I like the work, but I wish I could be doing anything else. My parents will lose their house if we go under, but I'm here at 36, about to be 37, and I'm not self sufficient.
No really what does legacy mean in this context? I love my dad, I look up to him, and I take after him a lot (spitting image of him as well) I guess but is that a proper answer to the question?
Edit:Oh its a job thing??? Then no I guess. He was in the military for 21 years and I would never. Now he's a college professor soon to be a part of cyber security or something. I can't ever hope to accomplish what he has or make even close to what he makes and will make. I might become a teacher, don't know yet.
Edit:Oh its a job thing??? Then no I guess. He was in the military for 21 years and I would never. Now he's a college professor soon to be a part of cyber security or something. I can't ever hope to accomplish what he has or make even close to what he makes and will make. I might become a teacher, don't know yet.
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Nah, my dad was a cook all his life and while I do enjoy cooking a bit, I wouldn't make a living with that.
He also was an alcoholic for almost as long as I know him, and I barely drink.
He also was an alcoholic for almost as long as I know him, and I barely drink.
Nope. My dad is a badass and always had a plan for his life and how to make things work to fit that. I'm just kind of making it up as I go... it'd be nice though...
Like... what kind of legacy?
I'd say say yes so far for hard work. My dad is a hard working man (construction worker) and I've always admired his hard work and also helping others too. Also told me to never do drugs, wait for the "one", avoid hanging out with shitty people, etc. Probably what made me today. I'm usually the one to do OT/most physical tasks at work (line cook atm).
Looking back through today, i'm very happy of all the stories/lessons he has told me. My childhood through high school went pretty smooth. What I also love is that he supports whatever I want to peruse. Even told him about gaming streaming and he'es like DO IT DO IT DO IT after hearing about Ninja haha.
I'd say say yes so far for hard work. My dad is a hard working man (construction worker) and I've always admired his hard work and also helping others too. Also told me to never do drugs, wait for the "one", avoid hanging out with shitty people, etc. Probably what made me today. I'm usually the one to do OT/most physical tasks at work (line cook atm).
Looking back through today, i'm very happy of all the stories/lessons he has told me. My childhood through high school went pretty smooth. What I also love is that he supports whatever I want to peruse. Even told him about gaming streaming and he'es like DO IT DO IT DO IT after hearing about Ninja haha.
My dad passed away a few years ago. I miss him every day. Perfect dad and role model who was gone too soon due to cancer.
When I was a kid my dad used to listen to old music from way back when while driving. I used to think nothing of it, just him listening to "dad songs" I guess. I was into the new stuff in the 90's, grunge, alt rock, Metallica, Tupac, etc. Could never fathom listening to what he did. Would also occasionally groan when he put his audio cassettes in lol.
Fast forward 25 years, and I drive my little boy around and I listen to exact same songs he did, and I enjoy them. I also like new stuff, hip hop, etc. Every now and then I stop to think that yep, I became my dad. And it makes me cry. I love him and miss him so much :(
When I was a kid my dad used to listen to old music from way back when while driving. I used to think nothing of it, just him listening to "dad songs" I guess. I was into the new stuff in the 90's, grunge, alt rock, Metallica, Tupac, etc. Could never fathom listening to what he did. Would also occasionally groan when he put his audio cassettes in lol.
Fast forward 25 years, and I drive my little boy around and I listen to exact same songs he did, and I enjoy them. I also like new stuff, hip hop, etc. Every now and then I stop to think that yep, I became my dad. And it makes me cry. I love him and miss him so much :(
I don't entirely know what this question means.
Technically, I'm a part of his legacy simply by existing so... yes? As a person, I think I differ in a lot of ways to my father but I'm sure there's aspects of my personality that were subconsciously shaped by him raising me. I don't intentionally try and live up to him or follow the blueprint of how his life turned out though, if that's really what you're asking.
Technically, I'm a part of his legacy simply by existing so... yes? As a person, I think I differ in a lot of ways to my father but I'm sure there's aspects of my personality that were subconsciously shaped by him raising me. I don't intentionally try and live up to him or follow the blueprint of how his life turned out though, if that's really what you're asking.
Yes and no. I'm the only son and I picked up a lot of his traits, good and bad. However, I realize this and I'm able to suppress most of those negative traits. When it comes to life, we made pretty similar choices. He joined the Marines right out of high school. He did 30 years of service then went on to get his Masters and work for the government. I on the other hand joined the Air Force right out of high school; however, I only did six years because I knew there were better opportunities out of the military. I went back to school after I separated, got my degree, and started to work for the government.
I learned from his mistakes.
I learned from his mistakes.
My father is a miserable failure who has tried his entire life to escape the food service industry, and has on many occasions, but he always comes back.
Hes worked at numerous IT positions across the state at pretty damn good places, but has thrown it all away to work as a Lyft driver part-time and a waiter/cook on the other side.
Its not even that he had a problem with it or was bad at it, he just doesn't like computers and has totally removed them from his life.
I hit enter before realizing I just went on a multi-parahraph post without answering the question:
No. I will be taking my EMT class in April and hopefully moving on from food service hell forever without ruining my life with a kid long before I'm capable emotionally and financially to handle it
Hes worked at numerous IT positions across the state at pretty damn good places, but has thrown it all away to work as a Lyft driver part-time and a waiter/cook on the other side.
Its not even that he had a problem with it or was bad at it, he just doesn't like computers and has totally removed them from his life.
I hit enter before realizing I just went on a multi-parahraph post without answering the question:
No. I will be taking my EMT class in April and hopefully moving on from food service hell forever without ruining my life with a kid long before I'm capable emotionally and financially to handle it
At my age he was a super Reagan/Bush kinda guy who probably fit a lot of the stereotypes, so glad I didn't go down that path. However, he's grown to be an incredibly respectable and intelligent man and I hope to live up to that part of his "legacy."
This. And like near identical look wise which also pisses her off lol
Yeah actually when you put it that way it does seem a bit old fashioned. Like this never even crossed my mind but being another middle class working poor? Yeah I'll take that legacy
Business-wise? Nah. He owns some retail stores and he does well for himself but it's just not my calling.
He's also very stubborn when it comes to checking on his health, which is especially bad since he's a smoker. "Hey if I don't see the doc to tell me something's wrong then I'm good!" he always jokes.
Other than that? He's a fantastic father who has always been there for me and my family for whatever we needed and I'm no parent yet but I do hope to emulate the way he raised me. Only thing that I'll change is also making sure my kids know that I'm getting checked up when I'm older.
He's also very stubborn when it comes to checking on his health, which is especially bad since he's a smoker. "Hey if I don't see the doc to tell me something's wrong then I'm good!" he always jokes.
Other than that? He's a fantastic father who has always been there for me and my family for whatever we needed and I'm no parent yet but I do hope to emulate the way he raised me. Only thing that I'll change is also making sure my kids know that I'm getting checked up when I'm older.