Do you feel shame about your interests?

JB1981

Member
Oct 28, 2017
7,431
Why am I ashamed of the things I’m interested in? I’ll give you an example. The other day I felt the urge to want to play some old PS3 games, so I got a couple out of the closet and spent an hour or two replaying the game, but in the back of my mind the whole time I couldn’t shake the feeling that I am a total loser for sitting in my house and playing a video game. I guess my age has a bit to do with it. I mean, I am 38 now and I’m single and have virtually no romantic life to speak of at the moment, but it’s also not like all I do is sit home and play video games all the time either. I work a full time job, have a close circle of friends and try to do things when I can. This Saturday I’m going to a concert and tailgating beforehand, just as an example. Is it wrong to enjoy a hobby like that for a few hours once in a while? The thing is, i ALWAYS feel this way too. Just the other day I told this girl at work who I’m pretty good friends with that I saw the movie Shazam by myself. And she said why the hell would you go see that, you are a grown ass man? I told her well I wanted to see it. Is that wrong?

Am I an eternal man-child? I mean, I am have had long term romantic relationships before and have been on dates, I’ve just hit a dry spell and I felt like I needed some time to be alone and be comfortable being alone. I’m responsible in so called adult areas of life. I have been employed consistently for the last 12 years. My credit score is really high. My bills are paid. My car is fully paid off. I have a decent amount of savings. I do a good job at work. I have my own place... I’m not living in my parents basement playing video games all day, yet I do still feel very much like a kid at times. I don’t know
 
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Bane

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
1,204
Not even a little. And fuck that lady for judging someone for seeing a damn movie. You do you homie, you're not hurting anyone.
 

jml

Member
Mar 9, 2018
364
I used to be really self-conscious about this thing but I don't care anymore. If someone's going to shun me just because I like an "uncool" type of music or a certain TV show then I don't really care what that person thinks.

Life's short, do whatever you like to do.
 

Silly Buck

Member
Oct 28, 2017
86
Yes it’s wrong. What “should” you be interested in? Make the choice to do things you enjoy and be there fully to enjoy them.

Those that tell you otherwise are just placing themselves in your spot and they don’t have the same interests.
 

RyanW

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
3,331
No, but it also helps I have family and friend circles who either don’t care or share the same interests as I do on top of still doing stuff like go out to bars, the movies, eat, or whatever.
 

CrazyAndy

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
2,882
No. You shouldn't feel ashamed of your hobbies. Do whatever you want to do in your spare time. If you want to relax after a day of work by playing games or going to the theater then you do exactly that.
 

nsilvias

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,078
Chicago
sometimes i feel ashamed for not enjoying any of my cultures arts. its like im american but i still feel bad for not liking something i didnt grow up around. kinda makes me feel like i dont deserve to be part of my culture.
 

shaneo632

Member
Oct 29, 2017
10,521
Essex, UK
Not at all. This perception that you're a man-baby for watching Pixar movies or playing Splatoon as an adult is just absurd. Life's tough enough as it is, why enforce some pointless perception that Adults Must Do "Adult" Things and be all serious and uptight? Fuck that fam, I ain't about that life.
 

AxeVince

Member
Oct 26, 2017
497
I feel more ashamed of my coping mechanism that I fall into due to stress than my hobbies.
Why would I feel ashamed about anything ? If it makes me happy and does not break a law ? Fuck people who tell me I should not do it.

You're saying it yourself: you have your life in check and are responsible, take care of yourself and if it means having fun at a superhero movie or playing games ? Do it. Also, maybe change those friends who shame you for doing what makes you feel good.
 

Octodad

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,040
No, but I also feel things that things I enjoy like video games or other nerdy things are central to who I am. IMO it's about balance and confidence.
 

AegonSnake

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,194
Why am I ashamed of the things I’m interested in? I’ll give you an example. The other day I felt the urge to want to play some old PS3 games, so I got a couple out of the closet and spent an hour or two replaying the game, but in the back of my mind the whole time I couldn’t shake the feeling that I am a total loser for sitting in my house and playing a video game. I guess my age has a bit to do with it. I mean, I am 38 now and I’m single and have virtually no romantic life to speak of at the moment, but it’s also not like all I do is sit home and play video games all the time either. I work a full time job, have a close circle of friends and try to do things when I can. This Saturday I’m going to a concert and tailgating beforehand, just as an example. Is it wrong to enjoy a hobby like that for a few hours once in a while? The thing is, i ALWAYS feel this way too. Just the other day I told this girl at work who I’m pretty good friends with that I saw the movie Shazam by myself. And she said why the hell would you go see that, you are a grown ass man? I told her well I wanted to see it. Is that wrong?

Am I an eternal man-child? I mean, I am have had long term romantic relationships before and have been on dates, I’ve just hit a dry spell and I felt like I needed some time to be alone and be comfortable being alone. I’m responsible in so called adult areas of life. I have been employed consistently for the last 12 years. My credit score is really high. My bills are paid. My car is fully paid off. I have a decent amount of savings. I do a good job at work. I have my own place... I’m not living in my parents basement playing video games all day, yet I do still feel very much like a kid at times. I don’t know
i am married with kids and still play games everyday. dont let anyone tell you that being married or having a girlfriend or having kids will bring you happiness. its clearly not true. if anything it will bring misery and stress. lol.

you seem to have your finances in order, you are already successful in life. do what you gotta do when you come home after a long day of work. enjoy your games or movies or action figures. you have earned it.

i know women, grown women, who still read shit like twilight. to me thats more juvenile than playing a video game or watching shazaam. they know that too. everyone is a kid at heart.
 

Tokyo_Funk

Member
Dec 10, 2018
1,678
When I was young I was labelled as the "Nerd" and the "Computer geek" and I had to hide it as best as possible because I was beaten up and threatened for being into technology/gaming. The irony being the people who used to abuse me are subbed to game pages on FaceBook. Serious fucking hypocrites.
 

Zhukov

Member
Dec 6, 2017
2,399
Hell no!

I am immensely proud of my carefully curated collection of human fingernails and enthusiastically show it off to anyone who visits.
 
Oct 25, 2017
918
Nah, I mean the only interests you should be ashamed of if they are hurting someone else
That said, I know it's hard to shake that feeling. My main thing is I feel like I need to be productive before I sit down and relax with a video game or something like that. If I don't I feel shame that there's chores that need doing
 
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JB1981

JB1981

Member
Oct 28, 2017
7,431
Nope.

Your coworker sounds like an asshat lol.
She’s not actually. I really like her and I called her out on what she said. She tends to have some toxic views of masculinity and I told her that when she reacted that way. We didn’t argue about it and she seem to genuinely consider what I said and took it to heart
 

Thurston Last

Member
Jul 26, 2018
1,343
I am not ashamed of my interestes, but I might downplay how "in" to something I am when first meeting people. You don't want to be "that guy" that spends the next 20 minutes bragging about their overclocking setup when they hear you are into PCs or goes on about all the rare cards and decks they have if you mentioned you have played MTG or something.
 

Euphoria

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,829
I’m 35 and collect horror memorabilia, play mobile games and sometimes even might watch an anime or two.

Most people know this because I don’t hide. No reason to.
 

pokeystaples

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,755
Not at all. I stopped caring what other people thought a long time ago. I’m 36 years old. That’s a long time to feel shame about a hobby. My friends game, my family games, my coworkers play games so or have family members who play games. Gaming is now a pretty mainstream hobby. I’m sorry you feel shame about this thing you enjoy.
 

OrangeNova

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,705
Canada
None. I'm not worried about what others think of me.

Hell, use it to your advantage, people love seeing when people genuinely like something, but you have to know how to present it.
 

King Alamat

Member
Nov 22, 2017
1,145
I feel embarrassed about owning a wallet with a Tri-Force on it because it invites a bunch of goony fucks to talk to me when I'm just trying to leave the damn store.
 

Euphoria

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,829
I have a friend at work who openly talks about he and a group of his friends who try to meet up every other Sunday because they have a D&D campaign that’s been ongoing for 3 years.

You’re worried about people thinking you watched Shazam?
 

Deleted member 47843

User Requested Account Closure
Banned
Sep 16, 2018
2,501
No. I’ve never cared much what others think and have a career (professor) where I don’t have to worry about impressing others beyond being productive and being a nice colleague. I couldn’t do a corporate career where you have to fit in with the execs, woo clients etc.
 

NameUser

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,253
K-pop, kinda. I don’t talk about it with anyone IRL. Because I fear that they’ll think I’m some creepy dude with an Asian fetish (I’m mostly listen to girl groups but it’s not exclusive to k-pop, I also prefer female western pop singers over male ones).

Gaming is so pedestrian now though. No one should be ashamed of that. Same with anime. A lot of that has become so mainstream and no one judges you as long as you aren’t obsessed with it (and go around acting like a total dweeb).

But I feel like it’s different with something like k-pop. Most people don’t understand why someone should listen to something they can’t understand lol, and the whole industry is pretty weird when viewed from a western perspective.
 

Panzermoon

Member
Oct 25, 2017
804
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Nope and nobody shouldn’t! People will find a way to make you feel bad about your interests either way! Especially if it doesn’t conform to what they feel the norm is. It’s super insecure for someone to treat you as less because you feel differently about a form of entertainment or hobby.

This is assuming you’re not douchey about your tastes or you’re not co-signing something that is actively hurting other people. Those are entirely different stories.
 

CoolOff

Avenger
Oct 26, 2017
1,416
A bit in the sense that I can acknowledge that some interests are unhealthy, especially in time consumption. I would never admit to anyone how much damn idle time I've spent watching Twitch for example.