Do you feel shame about your interests?

sgtnosboss

Member
Nov 9, 2017
2,141
IL
Why am I ashamed of the things I’m interested in? I’ll give you an example. The other day I felt the urge to want to play some old PS3 games, so I got a couple out of the closet and spent an hour or two replaying the game, but in the back of my mind the whole time I couldn’t shake the feeling that I am a total loser for sitting in my house and playing a video game. I guess my age has a bit to do with it. I mean, I am 38 now and I’m single and have virtually no romantic life to speak of at the moment, but it’s also not like all I do is sit home and play video games all the time either. I work a full time job, have a close circle of friends and try to do things when I can. This Saturday I’m going to a concert and tailgating beforehand, just as an example. Is it wrong to enjoy a hobby like that for a few hours once in a while? The thing is, i ALWAYS feel this way too. Just the other day I told this girl at work who I’m pretty good friends with that I saw the movie Shazam by myself. And she said why the hell would you go see that, you are a grown ass man? I told her well I wanted to see it. Is that wrong?

Am I an eternal man-child? I mean, I am have had long term romantic relationships before and have been on dates, I’ve just hit a dry spell and I felt like I needed some time to be alone and be comfortable being alone. I’m responsible in so called adult areas of life. I have been employed consistently for the last 12 years. My credit score is really high. My bills are paid. My car is fully paid off. I have a decent amount of savings. I do a good job at work. I have my own place... I’m not living in my parents basement playing video games all day, yet I do still feel very much like a kid at times. I don’t know
bruh, you should not feel shame if its not impacting your life and from your list, you are doing really well for yourself. Fuck em, don't let people tell you grow up with your interests. As long as they aren't impacting your life negatively, then there is no reason you can't enjoy whatever the hell you want. I am a 26 year old man who loves all animated shows/movies. I legit am excited for new animated movies. I don't give an F owning that, I tell people with confidence anything like that. It took me a while to get there, but in the end I was like "why the hell am I ashamed to still be having fun, why do I need to grow up hobby wise and die bitter and old. If I want to be a kid with certain things at heart, then f it, I will"
 

msdstc

Member
Nov 6, 2017
1,179
What even are "normal/non-shameful" interests and hobbies for men outside of sports/working out/music.
Obviously subjective, but Movies/Videogames are definitely more popular than when I was a kid. In fact fortnite absolutely dominates my nephews hobbies, he's always partied up with a ton of his friends.
 

Bobcats

Member
Oct 27, 2017
159
Totally, I do. I do because people judge heavily and those judgments have very real consequences.

I want to give my car an anime wrap, but that would be career suicide.
 
Oct 27, 2017
4,942
Nope but then most of my interests are pretty mainstream (hiking/walking, cooking, reading). I play video games from time to time as well and don't care what people think about that.
 

Rob

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,108
SATX
I think most of Marvel's stories are just okay, and DC blows them away in a lot of their events. That said, Marvel has generally better characters than DC.
 

Thac0

Member
Nov 15, 2017
106
I agree that you shouldn't feel shame for any of your hobbies.

That said, when asked I definitely do list my more generally acceptable hobbies like lifting weights, reading, etc. before I mention playing games despite games making up the majority of my hobby time. Iv'e never gotten a bad reaction when I mention games either, it must be something I've internalized.
 

BossAttack

Member
Oct 27, 2017
15,414
Yes and no.

I don't feel comfortable discussing games or even popcorn films openly. But, then I don't like discussing my personal life at all, openly. If we get to chatting and I see we have similar interests, then I'll go in. Otherwise, I don't volunteer that I'm spending the weekend playing Sekiro.
 

GMM

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,455
Hobbies are fine as long as they don’t become obsessions, enjoying games or movies doesn’t make you a loser.
 
Oct 27, 2017
1,987
That girl that tried to shame you for going to the movies by yourself is a jackass.

Like you said, you're a grown-ass adult. You can spend your time/money how you see fit. You should feel empowered by your decision to break from normal social expectations and do what you want.

You'll find someone who will appreciate your candor and honesty, not judge it.
 

Netherscourge

Member
Oct 25, 2017
7,996
You don't need to conform to other people's interests.

You need to find someone who shares your interests.

They may or may not be easy to find. You may never find them.

But you sure as fuck won't be happy giving up the things you honestly and safely enjoy just to impress someone or not feel ashamed by them.
 

HamCormier

Member
Nov 11, 2017
900
People associate games to man-children because some gamers are enjoying their hobby obsessively and forget to do the stuff an adult should do, like cooking, cleaning, staying active and social.

As long as you maintain a healthy life-hobby balance, I don't see how it's harmful. People may see you as immature, but that may only be because of this idea that gamers are 'slackers' in so many words.

I play about 4-5 hours of video games a week, and I feel that's enough for me because it allows me to do other stuff that I'd need to do.
 

delSai

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,363
Germany
For sure. I never go into detail about what i like, i just keep it basic like "Oh yeah i like rock music". Once i actually name bands or whatever, the conversation just dies because no one knows of them, they're weird or what have you. I hate thinking to myself "man i am such a fucking weirdo loser" and not talking about the stuff i like usually keeps that thought away.

Man, i don't want to know how my coworkers would react if i told them about Kamen Rider.
 
Not really. At least in regards to giving a damn about what others think of my hobbies.

But there are times where I feel a bit ashamed of the amount of money, self and time I've personally put towards a few of them over the years versus other potential interests I could be pursuing instead. Scaling back a bit on everything is helping out in that aspect, and I'm finding a better balance in my overall quality of life because of it.
 

Izayoi

Member
Oct 25, 2017
746
Who cares? A big reason I fell for my wife is that she is wacky and doesn't give a shit if I'm into "weird" stuff, she watches anime and plays games with me (and actively encourages my engagement in said activities). It's bliss, honestly - you do you, man.
 

Kitsunelaine

My favorite cake is pie
The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
4,805
I feel shame sharing my interests with a bunch of people who try their hardest to define it by their existance and not mine.
 

Acorn

Member
Oct 25, 2017
5,378
Sometimes re:gaming, plenty of people in my extended family still hang onto the children only should play games thing. But I don't really spend time with them outside funerals and weddings (if I go to the wedding, mostly don't).

Generally no.
 

Daingurse

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,731
AZ
Nah. I don't give a fuck. I like what I like, and I don't mind showing it. My cube at work would prove this lol.
 
Oct 28, 2017
2,855
I like feet, though I feel no shame in it.
You're not alone, fam. I can be a bit obsessed. This was a HUGE difficulty for me to admit at first. Now I'll openly talk about my love of tying chicks up, or how I let chicks piss on me in the bathtub and stuff. I like owning up to my kinks. Women find it enticing, more often than not.

Apart from that, my interests aren't anything to be embarrassed of. Heavy metal, hockey, reading, and art films, all outrank video games for me by a mile.

If I were overly involved in nerd culture, I would be embarrassed though. No shame in me admitting I enjoy playing PC RPGs or the occasional game of DnD to others though.

The trick is to not let your interests define you. That's what's childish.
 

Aftermath

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,731
Yes because when I first got into the, they were considered nerdy, so I wouldn’t mention them back then you’d be laughed at (still happens sometimes today but very rarely) but even bullied, but now it’s shameful because look at the state of the fandoms.

I like

Star Wars
Rick n Morty
Videogames
Dr Who
Comics

As well as plenty of other things but when you say you like them in 2019 with a lot of time people associate Toxicness & Alt Right Morons instead.

You can try the Not all fandoms but people not in the know don’t necessarily believe that, just what they see & hear.
 
Last edited:
Apr 17, 2019
393
Viridia
Uh I always thought a healthy dose of shame helps keep me a functioning adult actually, was that an uncommon thought?
Because I despise utterly shameless people. I really don't need to hear about your obsessions, fetishes, and all sorts of vices under the sun.
I won't bother you with mine too, unless we're in a place specifically for discussing it like ERA threads. But then again I've always been an introvert.

Btw vanilla ass regular hobbies like anime, manga, gaming, fantasy novels, tv/movie and all other fiction stuff I consider nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm self-aware enough to never ever mention my waifu tier list in front of strangers irl though.
 

Keuja

Member
Oct 27, 2017
974
I do have some guilt occasionally playing video games at home after work when kids are in bed... Like have I not something better to do??? But then some people binge watch series, my hobby is video games instead. But for some reason, watching series for hours is more socially acceptable.
 

AlexBasch

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,259
I have been looked at as a weirdo and whatnot growing up for my interest on videogames.

At almost 31 years old and no gaming friends at all because "that's some gay ass nerd shit" (the words of former friends and colleagues, not mine), I just don't give a fuck about someone finding out I play videogames.

I wouldn't ever wear a "gaming" t shirt or apparel, but meh, people around me have worst taste on their interests (as in, listening to some weird shit like narcocorridos and whatnot) and I don't come around them saying it's wrong and they should quit, so I'm fine.
 
Oct 25, 2017
2,543
No.

The only interests I have that might have a bad rep or stereotype attached to them are video games and true crime and I don't really give a shit about what people think.
 

AlexBasch

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,259
I do have some guilt occasionally playing video games at home after work when kids are in bed... Like have I not something better to do??? But then some people binge watch series, my hobby is video games instead. But for some reason, watching series for hours is more socially acceptable.
Yeah! It's something that makes me scratch my head a lot. It's perfectly fine to watch Grey's Anatomy all day long but if I play videogames after work I am a loser? GTFO with that bullshit.
 

Bakercat

Member
Oct 27, 2017
7,552
'merica
No, I like what I like and do what I like. As long as no one is getting hurt then why should they care?

Edit: if anything, people hate my lack of interests. I don't care for tv/movies, sports, or celebrities, etc. Small talk with people can be really tough for me lol.
 

RM8

Member
Oct 28, 2017
3,956
JP
I don't feel shame, but I feel guilty if I consume entertainment when I should be productive instead. Not because of what other people think, everyone wastes time in different ways, but because there are goals that I want to achieve and playing games for 5 hours doesn't make me progress towards them.
 

Rygar 8Bit

Member
Oct 25, 2017
4,534
Site-15
Do whatever you find fun.

No, I like what I like and do what I like. As long as no one is getting hurt then why should they care?

Edit: if anything, people hate my lack of interests. I don't care for tv/movies, sports, or celebrities, etc. Small talk with people can be really tough for me lol.
Gotta surround yourself with people who share your same interests.