Do you feel shame about your interests?

muteKi

Member
Oct 22, 2018
6,151
a sunken pirate ship
Uh I always thought a healthy dose of shame helps keep me a functioning adult actually, was that an uncommon thought?
Because I despise utterly shameless people. I really don't need to hear about your obsessions, fetishes, and all sorts of vices under the sun.
I won't bother you with mine too, unless we're in a place specifically for discussing it like ERA threads. But then again I've always been an introvert.
There's, like, "I'm ashamed of my words and deeds because I'm horny for the plant woman", and there's my view which is that discretion is the better part of horny on main
 

muteKi

Member
Oct 22, 2018
6,151
a sunken pirate ship
I'm sorry I don't follow.
Care to elaborate?
I'm making a bad joke about Metal Gear Solid V's crummy character design decisions in order to make a point that, like, you can like something and also believe there are times when discussion about it is and isn't appropriate, especially if it's stuff that's, say, sexual in nature

Realized a bit ago from discussion in another thread I'm more likely to be ashamed of my relative LACK of investment in some of my interests. Like, I've never fuckin' seen Utena. Yes, I know it's free on YouTube. Why do you think I just said I was ashamed?
 
Apr 17, 2019
347
Viridia
I'm making a bad joke about Metal Gear Solid V's crummy character design decisions in order to make a point that, like, you can like something and also believe there are times when discussion about it is and isn't appropriate, especially if it's stuff that's, say, sexual in nature

Realized a bit ago from discussion in another thread I'm more likely to be ashamed of my relative LACK of investment in some of my interests. Like, I've never fuckin' seen Utena. Yes, I know it's free on YouTube. Why do you think I just said I was ashamed?
Oh haha I know exactly what you mean now, thanks.
 

HomokHarcos

Member
Jul 11, 2018
1,365
Canada
I feel a little embarrassed when people see that I'm watching pro wrestling or anime. As for when I used to be excited for the World Cup, it was an actual guilty pleasure just knowing how awful FIFA is as an organization.

In terms of how much I feel shame in being into: Movies > Sports/Video games depending on what group I'm in > Animation > Pro wrestling.
 

devourbooks

Member
May 16, 2019
104
I'm 36. Just ending a 2+ year relationship for complex life reasons. It's been tough. But I actually got my ex into playing games and we'd play together, it was some of the most fun we'd had. I got her to play DnD with me as well and she LOVED it. I play video games a lot - pretty much every day for at least a couple hours a day. I have absolutely zero shame about it - if someone thinks that's not cool I could care less because they're just being a judgmental ass.

The unfortunate reality is many people are very judgmental based on whatever the norm in society is. I don't know you. You may have your own prejudices that are judgmental as well. I learned long ago all people are deserving of respect and as long as you're not doing destructive things to others you're worth respect. Your coworker sounds like an ass. Or maybe she was just having a bad day. Life is complex who knows! All my friends at work are women, only one plays video games, I talk about my love of games frequently around them and none of them care because they're all nice people. In fact I talk about it in such a positive non-embarrassed light I've convinced some of them to try games out.

If you're confident in yourself and have a healthy level of self respect (which, let's be honest, for men we can be way overly confident and arrogant based on total self delusion or deep insecurity) you'll be ok with your life choices. I worked in the mental health field for several years before my current job. If you're concerned about dating or concerned about how you feel about yourself, see a therapist. Life is tough, therapy is great. Any decent therapist would tell you to do the things you love that make you happy.

Life can be tough or awesome, but doing what you love is the base you can always fall back on to keep yourself emotionally resilient. Without games I would have stayed depressed, I would have stayed single, I wouldn't have as many friends. The love I have for them has kept me motivated and happy throughout my life and no one can tell me different.

that's my ramble, hope you get somethin out of it!
 

lunarworks

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,032
Toronto
Do I feel shame in my interests? No.
Have I had to endure shame from others? For about 30 years of my life. Got spit on once in high school for simply liking comic books.
And that's just for geeky, harmless stuff. People are kinda judgmental and terrible.
 
Oct 28, 2017
2,822
Uh I always thought a healthy dose of shame helps keep me a functioning adult actually, was that an uncommon thought?
Because I despise utterly shameless people. I really don't need to hear about your obsessions, fetishes, and all sorts of vices under the sun.
I won't bother you with mine too, unless we're in a place specifically for discussing it like ERA threads. But then again I've always been an introvert.

Btw vanilla ass regular hobbies like anime, manga, gaming, fantasy novels, tv/movie and all other fiction stuff I consider nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm self-aware enough to never ever mention my waifu tier list in front of strangers irl though.
No, you're 100% correct. Era is biased towards the normalcy of nerdy interests.
 
I feel the same way about my nerd interests. I love video games and comics but I’m also 21 years old. I feel like I should be partying and enjoying college, not spending my life indoors. And it’s a shitty feeling because I really enjoy being a nerd but at the same time it makes me feel like my life is passing me by.
 

PogChamp

The Fallen
Oct 27, 2017
5,063
Uh I always thought a healthy dose of shame helps keep me a functioning adult actually, was that an uncommon thought?
Because I despise utterly shameless people. I really don't need to hear about your obsessions, fetishes, and all sorts of vices under the sun.
I won't bother you with mine too, unless we're in a place specifically for discussing it like ERA threads. But then again I've always been an introvert.

Btw vanilla ass regular hobbies like anime, manga, gaming, fantasy novels, tv/movie and all other fiction stuff I consider nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm self-aware enough to never ever mention my waifu tier list in front of strangers irl though.
I agree. I don't like to bring up my hobbies in casual conversation because I've met lots of people who were really outgoing with gamer/anime nerd identities and it made me uncomfortable. Its just something I enjoy but not a part of who I am.
 

TheAndyMan

Member
Feb 11, 2019
110
Utah
Just the other day I told this girl at work who I’m pretty good friends with that I saw the movie Shazam by myself. And she said why the hell would you go see that, you are a grown ass man? I told her well I wanted to see it. Is that wrong?
Lol I saw Shazam with a friend 2 months ago. I’m in my mid 20s and he’s in his late 20s. It was a blast! Tell her she’s missing out on a funny, well done superhero movie that captures what it’s like to get powers when you’re a kid.

I’m going to see Toy Story 4 in late June/early July because it’s a great series of films.

And to those who say it’s “kiddy” , you’re depriving yourself of entertainment. Saw the Incredibles 2 last year and loved it!

Ask her if she’s watched Family Guy, Simpson’s, Spongebob or Rick and Morty, and if she says yes, ask her why she watches cartoons, which are “for kids”. 😂
 
Oct 28, 2017
2,822
I hope you don't take it the wrong way, I think having nerdy interests are normal.
Shamelessness about it, either by constantly bringing it up in inappropriate situations and being pushy about it or just the sheer degree of obsessiveness towards it are what's unhealthy imo.
I actually agree lol. As I mentioned in a previous post, it's only when you let your interests define you that they become problematic. It showcases a lack of self awareness, having to leech off a hobby rather than developing your own identity.

(or im just talking out of my ass lol)
 

rAndom

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,677
Nah. Just feel sad sometimes that it's hard to find people to be interested to the niche things you're interested in, but other than that I'm pretty fine with what I want.
 
Oct 25, 2017
8,029
Kind of, yes, but not for the same reasons OP.

Fact is, for every person you know who shares interests/passions/hobbies, you'll meet twice or thrice as many people who have no idea about it. And for the latter group, when you talk to these people about what you like, you're inevitably going to be lecturing to them about the topic. Some topics are generally more acceptable - I've never met a single person ashamed about their interest in yoga, sports, or fitness, even if their conversational partner wasn't familiar with it. I'm a student of psychological counselling, and I find that pretty easy to talk about as people are definitely interested. It's human behaviour - everyone knows about that.

Nerd shit, though? That requires buy-in. It needs a huge emotional and knowledge investment to really enjoy and spark in-depth conversations. If you're not invested, there is no back and forth talk with a gamer, comic aficionado, programmer, etc. So that ties back into what I said about lecturing. You're not talking to someone about the games you like, you're telling them about the games you like. And I'm not about that. I much prefer listening generally. So I'm 'ashamed' in that I just don't bring up my nerdy interests, cause I have no interest in unveiling how in-depth my knowledge is on the topic unless I know I'm gonna receive some reciprocation.