Does anyone else not want kids?

dimasok

Banned
Sep 9, 2018
567
It is controversial but I feel life is kind of shitty and futile and am not really happy that my parents imposed this on me so I wont impose it myself on anyone else.

Feel free to tell me how wrong I am.
 

PadWarrior

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,324
It is controversial but I feel life is kind of shitty and futile and am not really happy that my parents imposed this on me so I wont impose it myself on anyone else.

Feel free to tell me how wrong I am.
It’s your choice. Nothing wrong with not having them. Personally for my wife and I we enjoy the 3 we have. They are full of surprises lol
 

Nacho Papi

Member
Oct 27, 2017
644
RSA
Wife got her tubes tied, I have a vasectomy since before that. We’re both 30.

I will struggle to feed myself in the future, after whatever apocalypse awaiting us all finally hits.

Life is a struggle, we chase money just so we are not in a position of want.

There are too many mouths to feed already.

I don’t believe in a life after this, so I’m selfish enough to want to live it ‘’’to the fullest’’’.

I might adopt when I’m 50 and filthy rich.
 

scare_crow

Member
Oct 28, 2017
2,766
Not to internet diagnose, but it sounds like your feeling on kids stems from some sort of depression or other problem. If you have those types of thoughts, please find someone to talk to. That mindset can get dark very quickly.
 

Jiminy

Avenger
Mar 29, 2018
1,785
"Antinatalism" as you could call it is growing hugely. Very common. Birthrates in first world countries are declining and this is likely a factor.

I'd say about three quarters of millennial women I know actively don't want kids. Like not just "not yet" vibes but literally "I never want to produce a human or go through childbirth". The physical and mental stress of it plus the dubious ethics of introducing kids to an ever-more-fucked-up world, and the impact that has on the environment. (NB: having a kid is the single worst thing you can do for the environment.)

That said, none of them have hit 32 yet, and I've got a feeling that biological clock is going to kick in.

To boot, once you find someone you want to spend your life with and build a life with, having a kid with them starts to sound like a really special, powerful thing to do.
 

Octodad

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,064
My wife and I have been together for over a decade and we still don’t really want them. We aren’t opposed, but we keep just not being interested. We love our nephew, but we just don’t have an interest of adding that complexity to our lives. I don’t know if we ever will.

It doesn’t help that my mom passed away years ago and her family is rocky right now too. I have so many friends that live close to family and their parents step in a few times we a week. We would never get that. I think that’s a huge factor for us.
 

KefkaFFVI

Member
Aug 4, 2018
1,103
California
Do kits count? Because my boyfriend and I don't want kids so it probably won't happen.

Plus, while my niece is sweet and cute, I can only handle her in small dosages. A kid 24/7 sounds like a nightmare.
 

Terminus

Member
Oct 30, 2017
1,538
Anyone actively seeking to conceive in 2019 is either willfully ignorant of the climate crisis that will irrevocably destroy any semblance of global stability within that child’s lifetime, and possibly before that child even reaches adulthood, or they’re just selfish bastards who don’t care. This is my hottest take, but it’s also the hill I’m most willing to die on.
 

Kaiser Swayze

Member
Oct 30, 2017
648
It's not controversial to choose not to have children. I understand it might be tiring to have a relative who won't stop asking about it or a friend who won't shut up about how "life-changing" it is, but let's not develop a complex over it. You're fine.
 

Tain

Member
Oct 25, 2017
2,591
The thought of being a father is appealing, for sure. It's something I didn't think I wanted in the past but came around to. That said, I'm less certain on whether I think it'd be ethical to bring children into the world right now, and I'm certainly not in a state to start a family right now either way.

I mean, OP can't sincerely think there's even a chance they're the only poster feeling that way, right?
 

GuitarGuruu

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,626
I'm like 80% sure I don't want them, never really have. Unless something changes in the next 10 years or so I dont forsee myself having any.
 

Zutrax

Member
Oct 31, 2017
693
I don't want kids, not necessarily for the same reasons. But I don't see mine changing at all.

Mine are for the usual reasons, cost is the big one, time is also a big one. Those two are the obvious factors and I just love having all the free time and money that I wouldn't have if I had a child. More power to those who get great pleasure out of having a child, but I just do not like kids at a base level, so I know for a fact I wouldn't be able to provide the amount of love and care one would require. So I'm not going to impose this on a child.

This biggest issue this is causing me though is my parents, they REALLY want grand kids and it's really mentally taxing to keep hearing them harp on me and my partner about it.
 

SotaSkoldier

Member
Oct 28, 2017
7
It’s your choice. Nothing wrong with not having them. Personally for my wife and I we enjoy the 3 we have. They are full of surprises lol
I think you are 100% correct. My 2 kids regularly make me bust out laughing. But if they did the things they do around people who have no emotional connection to them they would just be foudn to be annoying I am sure.
 

astroturfing

Member
Nov 1, 2017
2,117
im a hyper nihilistic anti-natalist growing ever firmer in my beliefs as i approach 40, so no thank you to human kids. a non-human tiny companion like a doggie would be amazing though, but a lot of work and i dont know if i have the energy (or the money).
 

laoni

Member
Oct 25, 2017
514
I don't want them, haven't really ever felt like wanting one, and don't have the capacity to have any naturally. Had to make the choice at 21 though if I wanted to preserve fertility before cancer treatment so I've got the 'ability' in the bank should I change my mind when I get older. Not feeling like I will though tbh
 
Oct 27, 2017
4,718
No interest in children in my current relationship. Last thing I personally want to do is bring a child into this pending apocalypse.
 

Zukkoyaki

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,443
I don't want kids either.

It's easy to blame climate change and shit but ultimately my reasons are selfish. I like my quiet, my privacy and would much rather spend my time and money on myself and my girlfriend.
 

Ravelle

Member
Oct 31, 2017
5,100
You can not want kids now and later feel way different, it's kinda situational.

I always wanted kids, and with the majority of my friends and now my brother having a kid, having a kid seems great.
 

Shadybiz

Member
Oct 27, 2017
4,884
We have this thread every couple of months.

No, I do not, and neither does my wife. I had a vasectomy several years ago.

Other people want them and have them, and I’ve got nothing against that. It’s a major life choice that we all have to make.
 

Sweeney Swift

Member
Oct 25, 2017
10,876
I've been struggling for a while to handle my own issues. Can't imagine a possible personal relationship and then possible adopted kids on top of that

Anyone actively seeking to conceive in 2019 is either willfully ignorant of the climate crisis that will irrevocably destroy any semblance of global stability within that child’s lifetime, and possibly before that child even reaches adulthood, or they’re just selfish bastards who don’t care. This is my hottest take, but it’s also the hill I’m most willing to die on.
Also this
 
Oct 27, 2017
9,175
I do wanna have kids eventually, and the thought of my kids being heroic junkdogs in the uncaring post-apocalyptic wasteland sounds lit as fuck.
 

WaluigiTime

Member
Oct 27, 2017
727
Good Burger
I used to want kids but being single and 30 has made me realize that I probably don't want kids. I don't want that huge of a change in my life and free time as selfish as that sounds.
 

collige

Member
Oct 31, 2017
4,321
Nope. The only reason I haven't gotten a vasectomy is because I'm sure the medical community will give me a ton of shit for trying to do so when young and childless
 

FairyEmpire

Member
Oct 25, 2017
12,415
I never wanted to have kids. Sort of agreed to them with an ex in the past because it looked far away enough (and indeed we broke up years before an eventual "serious talk" about it), but the reality is that it's not something I think I'll ever want. I like being alone most of the time. I value my privacy. I don't think I have that much to teach, nor I think I have the right mentality and character to do it. I don't want to stop doing what I like (be that travelling, gaming, going out, sleeping, drinking or whatever) because there's people I need to look after at all times. Call me selfish, I probably am, but I just don't see myself ever craving for that. Plus I have a hit and miss experience with little kids, and I risk fainting everytime there's detailed talks about surgeries, births, etc. - so you can imagine how well that would go for a father.

Enough people out there make kids irresponsibly (I'm not generalizing, I'm talking about things I saw) for me to want to avoid doing the same. I don't want kids unless I am 100% sure I can sustain it, that I would be a great father, and that I am ready to give up much of my freedom and privacy in order to follow every step or so if one or more kids for at least two decades. As is, there have been already more than enough years of my life in which I didn't conclude jackshit, I don't want to limit myself like that anytime soon. I still want to visit a lot of places, try a lot of things, live my own life as a young adult. Perhaps my maturity will change, but I don't see myself choosing to sacrifice all of this willingly. Again, this is probably a rather selfish approach, but at the same time I believe kids should be made only when both sides of a couple feel 100% ready for the good and bad that's to come from it. I am far from ready, and I'm not sure I'll ever be ready.
 

Kaseoki

Member
Oct 27, 2017
423
It is controversial but I feel life is kind of shitty and futile and am not really happy that my parents imposed this on me so I wont impose it myself on anyone else.

Feel free to tell me how wrong I am.
Pretty much my sentiment as well. The world has enough people as it is. I never fully enjoyed life either so why should i wish this life upon another potential life?
 
Oct 30, 2017
219
I've been with my girlfriend for about 3 years now, we quickly sussed out at the start of the relatonship that neither of us ever wanted kids, like we were both fully against the idea. Recently her friends have started having kids and she's cautiously floated the idea that maybe we should too.
I feel like our relationship has a countdown on it now, because I'm never changing my mind about this, the last thing I want is to be burdened with a child.
 

Powdered Egg

Member
Oct 27, 2017
8,967
God bless ya'll.

When I was a kid I thought it was insane that some people didn't want kids. As I got older, I realized it's a very respectable position and I'm glad people are honest with themselves about it.
 

Dude Abides

Member
Oct 27, 2017
1,684
Anyone actively seeking to conceive in 2019 is either willfully ignorant of the climate crisis that will irrevocably destroy any semblance of global stability within that child’s lifetime, and possibly before that child even reaches adulthood, or they’re just selfish bastards who don’t care. This is my hottest take, but it’s also the hill I’m most willing to die on.
The edgelord facile nihilism shows up in these threads like clockwork.
 

shaneo632

Member
Oct 29, 2017
10,572
Essex, UK
I also don't want kids.

As a youngster I just figured I'd have them "like everybody else". But once I got my own money and my own autonomy to do things, and saw how much work/effort/money kids took up, I decided against.

Thankfully my partner feels totally the same and my brother already has a kid so "the family line continues", lmao.

I like being responsible for just myself too much, and watching movies/playing games/getting drunk/going out whenever I want. I think any potential spiritual gain I'd get out of having a kid would be cancelled out by how much of an imposition they would feel to me.

I'm happy just having a niece to hang out with every so often and give back when I'm done.

I don't really think of it as a controversial position these days though. People might think you're missing out or you'll change your mind "when you're older", but I don't think many people honestly think you're some alien missing a vital piece of the human puzzle because you don't wanna spread your seed.
 

Ichi

Banned
Sep 10, 2018
1,997
i don't. i havent even enjoyed all my free time and money and i've to commit all that to someone for the next 18 years? man...
 

GeminiX7

Member
Feb 6, 2019
494
Meh, I thought that briefly until I met my current gf, who has a 3 year old. I definitely want at least one more with her. But I can respect that sentiment. Do what is best for you and don't feel pressured to go either route.
 

Landy828

Member
Oct 26, 2017
4,205
Clemson, SC
I have 3, and would have 10 if I could afford it.

I love kids.

You're not wrong OP, but I enjoy the experience. It's awesome.

You do you though (just don't do other people...you might end up with one)

Haha, jk on the last part.
 

Firewithin

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
2,204
Orange County
nope. dont think this is a great world to have kids in. all my friends have them and while they can be fun in short spurts im definitely glad i get to leave them with them.

the worst are all the office people at work saying im wrong, missing out, or would change my mind if i did. i shrug and go about my business
 

LegendofJoe

Member
Oct 28, 2017
4,667
Arkansas, USA
I only wanted one child because I thought it struck the best balance between what I wanted (to experience being a father) and environmental sustainability. I fought long and hard against my wife regarding having a second child, but in the end I lost.

I selfishly didn't want to lose both her and my son so I gave in. And I worry all the time about what kind of life they'll have when they're older. That's part of being a parent, but as someone who understands just how unsustainable modern life is both environmentally and socially I know that a rough transition period awaits us. And just like everyone else I do not know what life will be like on the other side of it.
 
Oct 27, 2017
4,077
Canada
I do not feel that not wanting kids is controversial at all OP. I am now 31, I am slightly on the fence still if I even want kids. If I ever do I will probably adopt because there are so many kids without parents in the world. But if I ever meet someone that legitimately wants one I will be fine with that.