Does anyone else not want kids?

Apharmd

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,738
But being childless in your golden years is guaranteed misery.
Yeah. This isn't reason number one to have kids, but being surrounded by children and family every holiday, on special occasions and events, it's really great. And when you get old, maybe your kids take care of you, maybe they don't, but if you have no kids, you are pretty much guaranteed to be miserable if and when your health declines.

Anecdotally, and counter to the other poster's anecdote about kids leaving their parents to die, in December of 2016 my MIL's kidneys failed. She moved in with my family, and found out in January of 2017 that her breast cancer had returned, and she was terminally ill. My wife and I cared for her, and she spent every day with her daughter, her son-in-law, and her grandchildren except her very last night before she passed in March of 2017. I can't imagine going through that with little or no family support, dying alone. And it actually happens, I see it at work, oftentimes childless people dying unattended deaths and rotting for days.
 

CloseTalker

Member
Oct 25, 2017
8,292
It's fine if you don't want kids. It becomes annoying when someone won't be quiet about not wanting to have kids or someone whining why someone doesn't want to have a family. Both can be as bad as those Atheists that won't shut up.
I mean, literally anyone with an opinion can be obnoxious about it haha. Go to almost any thread here, you're bound to find someone that's overly extreme about their views.
 

dragonchild

Member
Oct 26, 2017
1,803
Offspring would be a bad idea. I’m a stupid asshole piece of shit human being; we don’t need more of me. And I’m not quite so far gone that I’d subject a poor kid to the undeserved punishment of being raised by a stupid asshole piece of shit human being. My problems die with me.
 

Kanik

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,163
Anyone actively seeking to conceive in 2019 is either willfully ignorant of the climate crisis that will irrevocably destroy any semblance of global stability within that child’s lifetime, and possibly before that child even reaches adulthood, or they’re just selfish bastards who don’t care. This is my hottest take, but it’s also the hill I’m most willing to die on.
I'll procreate in 2021. Checkmate.
 

Cheesy

Member
Oct 30, 2017
383
Don't want them either, plan to get a vasectomy at some point in the future. I just don't really like the idea of spending nearly two decades of my life and money on somebody, would rather spend that time and money doing the things I like, rather than raising somebody that might end up being an asshole regardless of how good I am to them.
 

DJ_Lae

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,477
Edmonton
Most people suck.

But...if I can help the ratio even a tiny bit by instilling positive virtues into my own kids then I figure it helps the world's chances. Plus they're goddamn adorable.

On the other hand I can completely understand why people wouldn't want to have kids, as they take a lot out of you.
 

Mystic

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,398
Ah yes, a single localized stressor that ran its course within a few years is certainly comparable to a system of runaway global feedback loops warping every aspect of our environment into something incompatible with human life.
Better off ourselves now then, life just isn't worth it...

I'll be sure to tell my daughter she was a mistake and should never have existed.
 

Pet

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
2,919
SoCal
But being childless in your golden years is guaranteed misery.
You do realize that not everyone who doesn't have children didn't want them, right?

Saying shit like this is so fucking insensitive. Not just you, btw, countless other people in this thread have no idea how fucking awful infertility is and mental impact it has on people.

Like, for some people, not having kids wasn't their choice and they've spent literally hundreds of thousands of dollars on treatments, went through literally years of pain, only to have them fail.
 

BIG J

Member
Oct 27, 2017
633
Anyone actively seeking to conceive in 2019 is either willfully ignorant of the climate crisis that will irrevocably destroy any semblance of global stability within that child’s lifetime, and possibly before that child even reaches adulthood, or they’re just selfish bastards who don’t care. This is my hottest take, but it’s also the hill I’m most willing to die on.
maybe you shouldnt be posting on line, you know because of the climate and all. resources are being wasted to produce and power your devices. maybe go live in a cave to help the environment.
 

Advc

Member
Nov 3, 2017
1,951
I used to but not anymore. I'm 28 and to be honest, my life is fucking depressing at the moment and still haven't got my shit together either so having a kid is the least thing I can think of right now. Even if later I manage to miraculously fix my life and get a partner, I doubt I'm gonna change my mind about having kids.
 

shinobi602

Newman
Administrator
Oct 24, 2017
1,666
I love my kids more than anything, but I would never fault anyone for not wanting any, nope.
 

Red Liquorice

Member
Oct 27, 2017
2,995
UK
Sometimes I think it would be very rewarding, but as it is I can't even take care of myself let alone someone else, I am not suitable to be a parent. Also I'm in a same-sex relationship and it's not something either of us have discussed or probably ever will and I'm ok with that.
 

Azurik

Member
Nov 5, 2017
848
No thanks. I and the wife decided to be selfish and spend all the money on us.

Yes, people will say that we will die old and alone, but looking at today’s society, there is no guarantee children will be interested in their old parents once they form a family themselves (despite all the love, good upbringing bla bla bla).

In my job I get to talk to a lot op people and a lot of the elderly live on their own and haven’t heard of their kids in years and some haven’t even seen their grand kids.

We have 3 dogs and they are my little kids. No arguing, no back talking, no asking for money:)

So yes, I and the wife decided to die old and alone with no kids, but in the meantime, we are enjoying all our money and don’t have to worry about what will become of our children in this cruel big world :)
 

Viewt

Member
Oct 25, 2017
698
Chicago, IL
My fiancée and I don’t want kids. We want to live more comfortably on our income and we don’t really have the urge to parent or raise children, so why do it for the sake of it?
 

Deleted member 29676

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Nov 1, 2017
1,804
Raising children to be adults costs around 300,000 dollars. Long term care insurance is a small fraction of that.

If your primary reason for having kids is to have someone take care of you when old you are probably making a bad financial choice. Considering that means you are likely
1. Going to spend 50k to 500k caring for your parents and your spouses parents depending on their medical needs and illnesses.
2. Likely will need to pay for your child's college so they can afford to care for you
3. hoping your kids don't have an illness that prevents them from working and requires you to care for them their whole life.


There are a lot of reasons to have kids "i want someone to take care of me when old" shouldn't be one of them.
 

Deleted member 29676

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Nov 1, 2017
1,804
maybe you shouldnt be posting on line, you know because of the climate and all. resources are being wasted to produce and power your devices. maybe go live in a cave to help the environment.
Not having kids is the number 1 thing you can do to help the environment. If he is using the internet and convinces even one person not to procreate their net resource use would be beneficial.
 

BIG J

Member
Oct 27, 2017
633
Not having kids is the number 1 thing you can do to help the environment. If he is using the internet and convinces even one person not to procreate their net resource use would be beneficial.
thats just stupid,
if i run over one person every day, im saving the world!
the choice of having a kid is everyones right.
Using the environment as an excuse is just bullshit.
 

Ryuelli

Member
Oct 26, 2017
3,296
Complete opposite here. I would love to be a dad. Probably what I want most in the world, I'm almost 30 though and don't see it happening anytime soon though.

But being childless in your golden years is guaranteed misery.
I feel like I've already reached this point and I'm absolutely not even close to being in my golden years. Literally of my friends are married and most of them have kids, as a single-childish person it feels like I don't really have a place anymore. It's pretty lonely.
 

EchoChamber

Avenger
Oct 27, 2017
1,184
If I had kids probably they will be fighting for resources and water thanks to the climate change so no thank you.
 

Deleted member 29676

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Nov 1, 2017
1,804
thats just stupid,
if i run over one person every day, im saving the world!
the choice of having a kid is everyones right.
Using the environment as an excuse is just bullshit.
That is pretty much the basis for every philosophical debate.

When is the greater good more important than individual rights.

If stopping climate change from killing a billion people required us to kill 100 million would it be ethical to do it or should we let 10x the number of people die because taking a life is wrong.

There is pretty much never a good answer just more uncomfortable questions.
 

Mandikiri

Member
Apr 21, 2018
214
Boston, MA.
No. I don't want any kids, and to be honest. I also get annoyed when people ask me if I want kids and I tell them no, and they tell me "why?". But with a way of if I offended them.
 

Big-E

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,370
How are you all getting vasectomies so young and at all? I was only eligible for one this year as my second child made it past their first birthday. They were not going to do it until then.
 

Deleted member 47843

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Sep 16, 2018
2,501
Raising children to be adults costs around 300,000 dollars. Long term care insurance is a small fraction of that.

If your primary reason for having kids is to have someone take care of you when old you are probably making a bad financial choice. Considering that means you are likely
1. Going to spend 50k to 500k caring for your parents and your spouses parents depending on their medical needs and illnesses.
2. Likely will need to pay for your child's college so they can afford to care for you
3. hoping your kids don't have an illness that prevents them from working and requires you to care for them their whole life.


There are a lot of reasons to have kids "i want someone to take care of me when old" shouldn't be one of them.
This. Especially being fortunate with the wife and I both making decent incomes, we'll easily have enough in retirement to afford in-home care and/or nice retirement communities with good care and social activities. I get that's not an option for poorer people with or without kids, and having family to help with care is a nice option there I suppose--a lot of poor people are on public assistance (food stamps, housing vouchers, medicare etc.) so it's not like they're saving all that per kid cost if they didn't have kids.

But for us it's a lot of extra money to enjoy things and save up for retirement and old age. We also have some fellow DINK couples as close friends and we half joke about just retiring in a big home together and pooling resources for in-home medical care in old age. So not having kids doesn't have to mean ending up lonely in old age. Money solves a lot of those kind of problems. I think money (and the culture your from) also shapes views on these things. Being upper middle class, white Americans, it's just not the norm or expected to care for parents in old age. Our parents would be mortified if any of their kids ended up caring for them. They saved plenty to care for themselves and hopefully leave some inheritance (I couldn't care less about it, but that was their goals).
 

collige

Member
Oct 31, 2017
4,321
thats just stupid,
if i run over one person every day, im saving the world!
the choice of having a kid is everyones right.
Using the environment as an excuse is just bullshit.
The difference being that not having a kid isn't the same as killing one. The carbon footprint impact is 100% real, it's not an "excuse" for anything.
 

Deleted member 47843

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How are you all getting vasectomies so young and at all? I was only eligible for one this year as my second child made it past their first birthday. They were not going to do it until then.
You just have to find a doctor willing to do it. I'd tried at 30 and got shot down by two. Asked my primary care doctor again at 34 and he was able to refer to me to someone who was fine with it as long as the wife was also on board.
 
Oct 27, 2017
9,200
Seattle
The strongest argument for them I guess is someone to "take care of you" when you're old, but that isn't a gaurantee. They might just be a asshole who doesn't care about you. And then all the fucking money you spent on them if you instead just put that in retirement you can take care of yourself without your kids asking you for money all the time even when you are old.
Shit, you sound like me... I literally just said to someone recently too how the only thing i can think of as a reason to have kids was so that i might have someone to help me when I'm older... And if that's the only thing i can come up with, probably not a good enough reason to have kids.
If the only reason you can come up with to have kids is so you have some one to wipe your ass when you are 90, then yeah, becoming a parent likely not for you.
 

Distantmantra

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,148
Seattle
I love my daughter and love being a Dad but you shouldn't have kids if you don't want them. No one should be forced to do so and anyone that tells you otherwise is wrong. At the same time, people that do the same to people who do have or wants kids are just as in the wrong.
 

Wamb0wneD

Member
Oct 26, 2017
13,445
I'm broke and single, so no lol. And even if I weren't, by the time I might not be anymore, I'm not sure this is a place I'd want to raise kids in.
 

BIG J

Member
Oct 27, 2017
633
That is pretty much the basis for every philosophical debate.

When is the greater good more important than individual rights.

If stopping climate change from killing a billion people required us to kill 100 million would it be ethical to do it or should we let 10x the number of people die because taking a life is wrong.

There is pretty much never a good answer just more uncomfortable questions.
fair enough
 

BIG J

Member
Oct 27, 2017
633
The difference being that not having a kid isn't the same as killing one. The carbon footprint impact is 100% real, it's not an "excuse" for anything.
ok, so to save the environment, humans are not allowed to reproduce, what then?

i understand their is an impact. their is an impact to doing anything. saying its immoral to have a kid is a drastic measure. we are on a gaming forum, right? how many are willing to drop technology for the good of the environment. drop their cells, live in a "green" house. get rid of their car. live off nature and avoid manufcatured foods.
if your willing to do that, then tell me its immoral to have kids.
 
Oct 27, 2017
9,200
Seattle
Most people suck.

But...if I can help the ratio even a tiny bit by instilling positive virtues into my own kids then I figure it helps the world's chances. Plus they're goddamn adorable.

On the other hand I can completely understand why people wouldn't want to have kids, as they take a lot out of you.

Yeah pretty much right there with you, I'm not ready to give up on this world that I refuse to have children because XYZ. My kids will be with other like minded kids (Many from ERA parents), that will fight to change this world and create their future.

Don't ever tell my daughter no, she won't accept defeat.
 

collige

Member
Oct 31, 2017
4,321
ok, so to save the environment, humans are not allowed to reproduce, what then?

i understand their is an impact. their is an impact to doing anything. saying its immoral to have a kid is a drastic measure. we are on a gaming forum, right? how many are willing to drop technology for the good of the environment. drop their cells, live in a "green" house. get rid of their car. live off nature and avoid manufcatured foods.
if your willing to do that, then tell me its immoral to have kids.
? I never said having kids was immoral nor did I suggest we should do any of that shit. It's an undeniable fact that adding another person to this world will contribute to climate change. What you choose to do with that information is your own business.
 

Threadkular

Member
Dec 29, 2017
709
My wife and I have gone through a lot in the past 5 years, and having kids always seemed like a given but now at least I feel like I really don't know. There's some depressive thoughts that get in the way, but at the same time I've seen friends/siblings who've had kids and I really don't know if I want to give up so much of my freedom. A lot of these days I'm just really grateful and don't want to mess with that. Plus my wife and I also have pretty successful careers where we work a lot so something would have to change drastically.
 

eXistor

Member
Oct 27, 2017
3,822
Hell no. I'm not nearly mature enough in any way so it wouldn't be fair to the kids. I wish more people would realize that they're not ready to be parents, I see too many examples every day of people that really shouldn't procreate. It's so sad to see.