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Does anyone else not want kids?

Oct 25, 2017
4,231
People rationalize adding people to this planet in hundreds of ways, I am simply saying that we have the gift of foresight, and will never understand people who just see bringing human lives on this planet as rolling the dice for YOUR happyness.

It is selfish. Especially when there are children that are waiting for adoption somewhere.

You want a mini-you, nothing I can do to convince you otherwise. I'm just saying from a moral point of view, I would never do that myself.
I mean, we aren't the one's who live through the worst parts of the oncoming calamity, we enjoyed the end of the golden age.
Throughout most of Human history, we have lived in the dirt fighting tooth and nail for survival. People snatched away in the dark by predators, killed by unknowable diseases, and accidental premature death. I honestly don't see what's coming for humanity to be any worse than what many of our ancestors faced. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't say their lives weren't worthwhile, and even if not, their struggle is literally what made this 'golden age' possible. If a bunch of cave men rolled over thousands of years ago and just decided that none of it was worth it, humanity would have been done a long time ago.

People can choose to remove themselves from the gene pool if they want, there's really no problem with that, but trying to shame people who have the resources and means to take care of a responsibly sized family is literally spitting in the eye of the overall continuation of the species as a whole. I had children because I wanted them, but also because I knew I would stand a good chance at raising them to be good people who act as a net positive to the entire race (or so I hope). I guarantee you that the abusive, no-shit-giving members of the human race will keep pumping out kids without any regard to what others think about overpopulation, etc. Adoption works, but again, as someone who works in social services, it's far more complicated than most understand. If people adopt, they truly are saints if they can follow through with it, but it's incredibly hard (and costly) to even get done in the first place and super risky.

Obviously, if someone just hates humanity and wants to see it expunged, then I guess there's that as well.
 
Oct 31, 2017
3,353
If you told me if I was going to die in a nuclear blast tomorrow and asked if I could, would I rather never been born, my answer would be I'd rather have lived than not existed at all.
Big difference in your example is that you got to experience basically the best quality of life humanity has ever seen before having an instant, painless death. Now, I'm not of the opinion that it's a guarantee will lead to everywhere on the planet turn into Mad Max in the next few decades, but if you're entertaining that scenario, it's quite a bit different from dying young.
 
Nov 16, 2017
2,413
I'm crazy young to be thinking about it, but I can't see myself being a parent. I value personal freedom way more than the average person, and I'm not particularly fond of kids either. I've talked to people about it, one of my parents thinks I'll grow out of it and the other agrees completely and would not have had kids if she could redo it.

Sorry dad, that's what my brother's for!
 
Nov 7, 2017
7,014
I'm not trying to rationalize my child's existence. You can make a choice not to have children without shaming other people for having them of their own.

Mankind suddenly stopping procreating isn't going to magically fix our problems.

I'm sure (hope) my daughter will appreciate her existence someday. But I'll be sure and ask her her thoughts on her life before she is vaporized and post about it on Era.
I am sorry if what I said offended you, but that is truly what I believe. And I never said no one should make babies, I am saying there are already plenty out there looking for a home and love.

I don't know if you considered adoption, or the carbon footprint your offspring will have in the next 250 years, but those are things that do weigh on me.

Throughout most of Human history, we have lived in the dirt fighting tooth and nail for survival. People snatched away in the dark by predators, killed by unknowable diseases, and accidental premature death. I honestly don't see what's coming for humanity to be any worse than what many of our ancestors faced. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't say their lives weren't worthwhile, and even if not, their struggle is literally what made this 'golden age' possible. If a bunch of cave men rolled over thousands of years ago and just decided that none of it was worth it, humanity would have been done a long time ago.
I don't think everyone has the same optics on this, but there is no way I am optimistic about the future of humanity when I look at our past.

I also don't think it's a very convincing argument to say "suffering is inevitable, and someone has to go through it for the good of the race!", or putting a lot of faith in the jugement of ancestors when it comes to their wisdom in populating the earth.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,257
I am sorry if what I said offended you, but that is truly what I believe. And I never said no one should make babies, I am saying there are already plenty out there looking for a home and love.

I don't know if you considered adoption, or the carbon footprint your offspring will have in the next 250 years, but those are things that do weigh on me.
My wife and I did consider the long term effects. Ultimately we decided to have a baby because there were too many variables and it was pointless trying to predict the future. We didn't want to be on our deathbeds someday with regret because we thought the world was going to end and it didn't because XYZ happened and fixed XYZ.

We plan on adopting. That much we decided on early on. That we wanted three kids and at least one was going to be adopted. Unfortunately adoption in the US is extremely expensive despite foster homes being overrun and children living on the streets.
 
Jul 12, 2018
96
Throughout most of Human history, we have lived in the dirt fighting tooth and nail for survival. People snatched away in the dark by predators, killed by unknowable diseases, and accidental premature death. I honestly don't see what's coming for humanity to be any worse than what many of our ancestors faced.
I'm not trying to tell people to have kids or not have kids. I don't really care but climate change is absolutely going to be worse than anything humanity has faced before. You realise we are talking about the earth being made completely uninhabitable right? Even in the short term we are looking at mass starvation, wide spread disease, the complete breakdown of any social order its going to make the ice age look like a party. People seem to think climate change is like a recession or something that the can do human spirit can buckle down and fix in a few years and not what it is the mass extinction of the human race.
 
Oct 25, 2017
4,680
I'm not trying to tell people to have kids or not have kids. I don't really care but climate change is absolutely going to be worse than anything humanity has faced before. You realise we are talking about the earth being made completely uninhabitable right? Even in the short term we are looking at mass starvation, wide spread disease, the complete breakdown of any social order its going to make the ice age look like a party. People seem to think climate change is like a recession or something that the can do human spirit can buckle down and fix in a few years and not what it is the mass extinction of the human race.
It's because we quite honestly have no idea what is in truly store for us. No one can see the future.
 
Oct 25, 2017
4,231
I'm not trying to tell people to have kids or not have kids. I don't really care but climate change is absolutely going to be worse than anything humanity has faced before. You realise we are talking about the earth being made completely uninhabitable right? Even in the short term we are looking at mass starvation, wide spread disease, the complete breakdown of any social order its going to make the ice age look like a party. People seem to think climate change is like a recession or something that the can do human spirit can buckle down and fix in a few years and not what it is the mass extinction of the human race.
There's lots of humans in even the last century who have faced similar things. Look at China in the mid 1900's. Right this second we have third world countries with children living with next to nothing who are literally beacons of light on an individual basis even though every day is a desperate gambit for survival. Hell, it was less than 200 years ago that the success rate of making it to adulthood was pretty abysmal. Almost everyone lost multiple children. Shit gets bad, but people tend to find ways of pulling through, or they die. Just because people suffer, that doesn't necessarily make their existence moot. The alternative is literally nothing at all.
 
Oct 27, 2017
8,483
Throughout most of Human history, we have lived in the dirt fighting tooth and nail for survival. People snatched away in the dark by predators, killed by unknowable diseases, and accidental premature death. I honestly don't see what's coming for humanity to be any worse than what many of our ancestors faced. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't say their lives weren't worthwhile, and even if not, their struggle is literally what made this 'golden age' possible. If a bunch of cave men rolled over thousands of years ago and just decided that none of it was worth it, humanity would have been done a long time ago.

People can choose to remove themselves from the gene pool if they want, there's really no problem with that, but trying to shame people who have the resources and means to take care of a responsibly sized family is literally spitting in the eye of the overall continuation of the species as a whole. I had children because I wanted them, but also because I knew I would stand a good chance at raising them to be good people who act as a net positive to the entire race (or so I hope). I guarantee you that the abusive, no-shit-giving members of the human race will keep pumping out kids without any regard to what others think about overpopulation, etc. Adoption works, but again, as someone who works in social services, it's far more complicated than most understand. If people adopt, they truly are saints if they can follow through with it, but it's incredibly hard (and costly) to even get done in the first place and super risky.

Obviously, if someone just hates humanity and wants to see it expunged, then I guess there's that as well.
I mean, a lot of what people are saying in this thread is about climate change, which is entirely linked to emissions which is directly connected to the amount of people on the planet consuming. All that other stuff you mentioned is kind of different than, hey, the ice caps are melting at an alarming rate, like several times faster than even the worst estimates not long ago, but yeah let's just pop out a few kids even though that is literally the worst thing I could possibly do re the environment.

Yeah you can always say, well, 2 or 3 kids or whatever is a drop in the bucket. That's true, but when you multiply that by billions of people just popping out kids without really even thinking much about it, it's not really true anymore.
 
Jun 10, 2018
56
I don't want kids nor do I even want or care to have a significant other. It isn't really unheard of in my family either - I have a few male relatives that are alone by choice and are quite happy. I also had one in who was in his 80s who passed away a few years ago alone. He was a happy, upbeat dude (I think it helped that he was never pressured by his family and seemed quite content just to have family and their families around with no need or desire of his own.
 
Nov 7, 2017
7,014
Shit gets bad, but people tend to find ways of pulling through, or they die. Just because people suffer, that doesn't necessarily make their existence moot. The alternative is literally nothing at a
Literally no one is saying this.

This is like survivors bias, you saying people in Africa have it rough so people in the West can make as many kids as they want without thinking twice about the consequences is ridiculous.
 
Oct 27, 2017
8,483
There's lots of humans in even the last century who have faced similar things. Look at China in the mid 1900's. Right this second we have third world countries with children living with next to nothing who are literally beacons of light on an individual basis even though every day is a desperate gambit for survival. Hell, it was less than 200 years ago that the success rate of making it to adulthood was pretty abysmal. Almost everyone lost multiple children. Shit gets bad, but people tend to find ways of pulling through, or they die. Just because people suffer, that doesn't necessarily make their existence moot. The alternative is literally nothing at all.
More people deciding to not have kids for personal reasons or an attempt to fight global warming doesn't equal the end of the human race. It's not like there's a giant switch where everyone would stop reproducing. However, everyone just not even thinking about it or thinking they have some kind of life requirement to reproduce actuallly will contribute to immense human suffering.

So it's kind of like y'all are saying well, it's been tough before. It's kind of different when the ice caps melt and millions of people are put at risk because no one cares or even really thinks about this shit.

^ and yeah above post. It's like, well I can have kids, and so can everyone else, fuck it, even though that actually does have consequences. Most people it's just like a given, it's ok for people to doubt that and decide it's maybe the wrong approach for various reasons. Probably half the people I know with kids, cousins and friends, etc, it's pretty apparent they didn't really give it much thought. They just kind of did it.

Which I always think it's funny the people with kids being judgy or asking like are you going to have kids. It's like hey man, it actually take some effort to not have them, like have you not thought about that? Like why are you even asking me this?

Did I ask you how much thought you put into having children? No. So fuck off.
 
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Oct 25, 2017
4,178
There are always other people that agree with something, sometimes no matter how extreme. Not wanting kids though? This is a very common one. They're expensive, require a lot of time, don't really serve a purpose these days outside of keeping a population going, maybe to entertain bored people (recently my brother was talking about having to juggle things while I helped trying to fix his truck at 1 AM for the road a few more hours later. His wife constantly called him from upstairs about his toddler daughter, and newborn son. "It's a interesting challenge." He said with a smile). I mean, how often do kids these days take over a farm, or provide needed help for a farm like the old old old days. Also if you're bored these days we have so many ways to keep life interesting other than having a person pet to raise for other person pets (sorry if this sounds absurd, just a quick example). Kids these days are usually given a tablet or phone pacifier to give the parents a break. Teens are on their phones, in their room until it's dinner time, pouting as they have to go to family events or whatever.

Life is cool and all, but if I had the choice of going back and picking to be born, I'd think about it, and consider how things are if you're not in this fleshy body. If it's not bad, no need to find time to eat, no different flavors of pain, no mind numbing boredom at work type of situation, no need for rest, that would be a big bonus. What if you're yanking people out of a care free rest to have to join in this rat race?
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,379
Arizona
No. I don't want the stress, the expense, the time costs, or the benefits. Every time I try to imagine raising kids, I can only imagine situations where I get angry at them. I don't even like kids period.
 
Dec 23, 2017
2,915
I have three. They are a joy and a pain. I love them. I know a lot of people that have decided not to have kids and I commend them. Parenting just isn’t for everyone. Better to know and don’t have then to slip up then regret it.
 
Oct 27, 2017
1,089
I'm socially awkward around kids so even when I am wealthy as fuck, I don't think I would want one.
Also the time and attention that is required, I rather spend it on other things in my life instead.
 
Oct 29, 2017
556
Florida
I'm ace, so I have less than 0 desire to even have sex, let alone ever have children.

And even if I wasn't ace, I'm not big on kids. I'm not one of those miserable gremlins you see who complain if they see a kid being a kid or something, I just have no interest in having or raising a child at all.
 
Aug 7, 2018
1,370
I’m too selfish to have kids and don’t see that changing any time soon. My only worry is marrying - I know there are a lot of women who were child free at my age (mid 20s) but changed their mind less than ten years later.
 
Oct 25, 2017
4,178
Yeah. This isn't reason number one to have kids, but being surrounded by children and family every holiday, on special occasions and events, it's really great. And when you get old, maybe your kids take care of you, maybe they don't, but if you have no kids, you are pretty much guaranteed to be miserable if and when your health declines.
Naaaah, not true. You can be old and miserable no matter what, but because you don't have kids that won't make your life miserable at an old age. There are a lot of old childless people still living a good life. I remember watching my grandmother as a big holiday event was nearing the end. She was tired, and looking forward to the peace when everyone was gone. I actually think seeming so happy was just for show, just to make sure she brought her kids (she had friggin 12) together for their sake, because without her they never got together like that again.

These days you can put yourself in a old person's home if you're in such a bad shape that you can't help yourself. Also if you have eyesight you can be like the Skyrim granny that has incredible experiences in the game as if she's actually visiting the world and the people are real. Then there's VR to fly and do whatever. I actually couldn't wait to be old and retired, I planned on living in a MMORPG, especially a future MMORPG, but those kind of games are horrible these days, so who knows how VR worlds will be when it's my time.
 
Oct 26, 2017
2,169
I'm socially awkward around kids so even when I am wealthy as fuck, I don't think I would want one.
Also the time and attention that is required, I rather spend it on other things in my life instead.
I've always not known how to act around kids, then I had 2, and it's funny that you figure this out as they age. Mine are now 8 and 10, and now totally get how kids up to 10 think. 11 to 18 no clue, but iIl learn as they grow. So like now if a friend has a4yr old, i'm like mr.funny for them, cause i learned from my kids. If they are 12, I avoid them lol. By time they are 18 they are mostly human.

But no one has to want kids... hell if my wife said no kids, I'd have been fine with that, turns out they are a lot of work, but more fun than that. You do you though.
 
Oct 25, 2017
4,231
Literally no one is saying this.

This is like survivors bias, you saying people in Africa have it rough so people in the West can make as many kids as they want without thinking twice about the consequences is ridiculous.
Not the case. Many are saying they don't want kids simply because they think it would be cruel seeing them suffer in the face of possible incoming apocalypse. Arguing you don't want to contribute to climate change by having children is a whole other story, but if the human race is going to continue, someone has to be having children. Who gets to decide who has those kids? Should that literally be left only to those too irresponsible to care about the consequences? There's literally zero justice in that idea. Even then, nature will sort us out eventually or we'll overcome nature.

More people deciding to not have kids for personal reasons or an attempt to fight global warming doesn't equal the end of the human race. It's not like there's a giant switch where everyone would stop reproducing. However, everyone just not even thinking about it or thinking they have some kind of life requirement to reproduce actuallly will contribute to immense human suffering.

So it's kind of like y'all are saying well, it's been tough before. It's kind of different when the ice caps melt and millions of people are put at risk because no one cares or even really thinks about this shit.

^ and yeah above post. It's like, well I can have kids, and so can everyone else, fuck it, even though that actually does have consequences. Most people it's just like a given, it's ok for people to doubt that and decide it's maybe the wrong approach for various reasons. Probably half the people I know with kids, cousins and friends, etc, it's pretty apparent they didn't really give it much thought. They just kind of did it.

Which I always think it's funny the people with kids being judgy or asking like are you going to have kids. It's like hey man, it actually take some effort to not have them, like have you not thought about that? Like why are you even asking me this?

Did I ask you how much thought you put into having children? No. So fuck off.
I'm just going to say that there's some irony in that I truly believe that people who understand the impact of having children are arguably the ones who should be having them. Also, people who have a responsible number of children who care for them should be celebrated rather than scorned. Kids have got to come from somewhere and I'd rather they show up in a positive manner. Saying that no one should have kids is a definite fallacy and leaving it only to the irresponsible is short-sighted. Further, everyone without kids literally has to be grateful to everyone who did or they'd literally have no one to take care of them in old age, as some countries have been facing as of late. It's a complicated thing, and 'taking one for the team' is ok, I guess, but there's a number of people who think anyone having a kid is immoral. It's kind of a stupid stance.
 
OP
OP
dimasok

dimasok

Banned
Member
Sep 9, 2018
567
I don't want kids because I wouldn't have the money to care for them.

I'm also reaching the age where I'm going to have to start repaying the favor and take care of my aging parents. OP, are you going to be a deadbeat kid and just abandon your parents when they're going to need your help?
I cant' even take care of myself, let alone of my parents. I wouldn't do it out of spite or neglect or anything.
 
OP
OP
dimasok

dimasok

Banned
Member
Sep 9, 2018
567
There are always other people that agree with something, sometimes no matter how extreme. Not wanting kids though? This is a very common one. They're expensive, require a lot of time, don't really serve a purpose these days outside of keeping a population going, maybe to entertain bored people (recently my brother was talking about having to juggle things while I helped trying to fix his truck at 1 AM for the road a few more hours later. His wife constantly called him from upstairs about his toddler daughter, and newborn son. "It's a interesting challenge." He said with a smile). I mean, how often do kids these days take over a farm, or provide needed help for a farm like the old old old days. Also if you're bored these days we have so many ways to keep life interesting other than having a person pet to raise for other person pets (sorry if this sounds absurd, just a quick example). Kids these days are usually given a tablet or phone pacifier to give the parents a break. Teens are on their phones, in their room until it's dinner time, pouting as they have to go to family events or whatever.

Life is cool and all, but if I had the choice of going back and picking to be born, I'd think about it, and consider how things are if you're not in this fleshy body. If it's not bad, no need to find time to eat, no different flavors of pain, no mind numbing boredom at work type of situation, no need for rest, that would be a big bonus. What if you're yanking people out of a care free rest to have to join in this rat race?
Agreed
 
Oct 25, 2017
2,924
me. they are really cute, smart, AND respectful though - but like all kids they require a lot of work. PM to make an offer.
 
Oct 25, 2017
4,178
Oh okay, so I'll tell my daughter to off herself once she's old enough to understand that life isn't worth it.

Fuck you.
Why would you even type that out, let alone blame the person you quoted for what you typed? Of course they don't expect your daughter will want to do something as extreme as commit suicide.

People will think whatever happens is normal, and adjust if something bad happens. On the coast we have frequent hurricanes and deal with it, some die, some decide to move further away from the coast, a lot are just used to it. Thanks to phones and better understanding, a lot of people just leave until the coast is clear now, especially if they can, and their job is not requiring them to stay around.
 
Oct 27, 2017
8,483
Not the case. Many are saying they don't want kids simply because they think it would be cruel seeing them suffer in the face of possible incoming apocalypse. Arguing you don't want to contribute to climate change by having children is a whole other story, but if the human race is going to continue, someone has to be having children. Who gets to decide who has those kids? Should that literally be left only to those too irresponsible to care about the consequences? There's literally zero justice in that idea. Even then, nature will sort us out eventually or we'll overcome nature.



I'm just going to say that there's some irony in that I truly believe that people who understand the impact of having children are arguably the ones who should be having them. Also, people who have a responsible number of children who care for them should be celebrated rather than scorned. Kids have got to come from somewhere and I'd rather they show up in a positive manner. Saying that no one should have kids is a definite fallacy and leaving it only to the irresponsible is short-sighted. Further, everyone without kids literally has to be grateful to everyone who did or they'd literally have no one to take care of them in old age, as some countries have been facing as of late. It's a complicated thing, and 'taking one for the team' is ok, I guess, but there's a number of people who think anyone having a kid is immoral. It's kind of a stupid stance.
100% I agree. I don't think it's immoral on any level to have children, even the people who don't really think about it or do it by accident for all intents and purposes. I don't think people should judge people on either end of the spectrum. Just saying it's ok to think it's not the best choice on an Individual and partner level, and I don't appreciate the line of questioning of, oh, you don't even want to have kids, etc.
 
Jul 12, 2018
96
There's lots of humans in even the last century who have faced similar things. Look at China in the mid 1900's. Right this second we have third world countries with children living with next to nothing who are literally beacons of light on an individual basis even though every day is a desperate gambit for survival. Hell, it was less than 200 years ago that the success rate of making it to adulthood was pretty abysmal. Almost everyone lost multiple children. Shit gets bad, but people tend to find ways of pulling through, or they die. Just because people suffer, that doesn't necessarily make their existence moot. The alternative is literally nothing at all.
Climate change is on a whole another level though. Sure during the Opium wars Chinese people endured and over came tremendous hardships but they also lived on a planet capable of producing crops they could breath the air without dying they could be outside for extended periods of time without being exposed to devastating levels of UV. What I'm saying is the coming ecological conditions are going to make human life on any level impossible. Not hard. Not difficult. Impossible.

It's because we quite honestly have no idea what is in truly store for us. No one can see the future.
Thanks to advancements in predictive modelling technology we are getting an increasingly clear picture of what is in store for us and it ain't pretty. Did you know by 2050 there wont be winter in Australia any more? That's only thirty one years from now.
 
Oct 26, 2017
1,631
Sydney, Australia
I like kids, but I have no interest in having my own. I'd rather just continue to be the cool older brother/cousin and not have my life completely revolve around taking care of another human being. Seriously, I barely have free time as it is and am not willing to settle for less.

I think I just know too much. I have siblings starting with a 13 year age gap. And a step-sister who is 15 years younger. And I'm close with an Aunt who has kids under the age of 11. So I'm well-versed in how demanding kids can be. I've been saying this since I was a teenager, and at 27 still feel the same way. It doesn't stop people continually telling me I'll change my mind, though.

Oh, and it honestly feels ridiculous to bring even more humans into the world. We're overpopulated as it is.
 
Oct 28, 2017
2,516
Canada
People rationalize adding people to this planet in hundreds of ways, I am simply saying that we have the gift of foresight, and will never understand people who just see bringing human lives on this planet as rolling the dice for YOUR happyness.

It is selfish. Especially when there are children that are waiting for adoption somewhere.

You want a mini-you, nothing I can do to convince you otherwise. I'm just saying from a moral point of view, I would never do that myself.
Adopting kids is hard as shit. Tons of people would never even qualify . It's not selfish at all. My daughter will find happiness , sorrow, peace and hardship just like every other human in existence. Telling your parents " hey you shoulda never bothered having me " is just strange.
 
Oct 25, 2017
4,231
100% I agree. I don't think it's immoral on any level to have children, even the people who don't really think about it or do it by accident for all intents and purposes. I don't think people should judge people on either end of the spectrum. Just saying it's ok to think it's not the best choice on an Individual and partner level, and I don't appreciate the line of questioning of, oh, you don't even want to have kids, etc.
Yeah, I think we agree on that point. There's pretty much zero harm in someone not having kids outside of the lack of societal support, and most places that's not really a problem.

Climate change is on a whole another level though. Sure during the Opium wars Chinese people endured and over came tremendous hardships but they also lived on a planet capable of producing crops they could breath the air without dying they could be outside for extended periods of time without being exposed to devastating levels of UV. What I'm saying is the coming ecological conditions are going to make human life on any level impossible. Not hard. Not difficult. Impossible.



Thanks to advancements in predictive modelling technology we are getting an increasingly clear picture of what is in store for us and it ain't pretty. Did you know by 2050 there wont be winter in Australia any more? That's only thirty one years from now.
I was thinking more of the great leap forward where literally 50-some million starved. The land was ravaged and people were literally eating rocks and twigs just to fill their bellies. There was little to no medicine and entire villages were wiped out. It's a pretty good analogue to what our future may look like, except that was 100% man-made. Or hell, you could look to shit like the black plague. Humans have been through the wringer. I believe we could be on the brink of extinction, but humans have already suffered through shit just about as bad on smaller scales. Localized extinctions. Hell, we could have that supervolcano erupt at any time and plunge the world in to chaos and that's completely out of our control. We die, we die. My kids die in 30 years, that sucks, but I'm grateful we have had the time we've had. My life and that of everyone involved with them would literally be much worse without them. I think that's worth it, and I know that at least right now, they agree. I understand some potentially thinking not.
 
Oct 30, 2017
959
Oh okay, so I'll tell my daughter to off herself once she's old enough to understand that life isn't worth it.

Fuck you.
Oh damn, the Dads are Mad online.

Good. You should be.

Now go be a single-issue voter supporting candidates that are calling for immediate, radical, transformative action on climate change. And preach it to every wishy-washy person you know. Your daughter’s life depends on it.
 
Oct 27, 2017
8,483
I mean if I actually am old and terminally ill and no one cares I'm totally cool with offing myself or having that done professionally where it's legal. I don't think anyone actually enjoys deathbed visits and I sometimes think the docs actually do just turn up the morphine if it gets to that point.
 
Oct 25, 2017
2,410
California
This topic is all kinds of fucked up.

If you can barely afford your current lifestyle, dont have kids.

If you’re having relationship problems and think that having a kid would help/fix that, dont have kids!
 
Oct 27, 2017
8,483
Yeah, I think we agree on that point. There's pretty much zero harm in someone not having kids outside of the lack of societal support, and most places that's not really a problem.



I was thinking more of the great leap forward where literally 50-some million starved. The land was ravaged and people were literally eating rocks and twigs just to fill their bellies. There was little to no medicine and entire villages were wiped out. It's a pretty good analogue to what our future may look like, except that was 100% man-made. Or hell, you could look to shit like the black plague. Humans have been through the wringer. I believe we could be on the brink of extinction, but humans have already suffered through shit just about as bad on smaller scales. Localized extinctions. Hell, we could have that supervolcano erupt at any time and plunge the world in to chaos and that's completely out of our control. We die, we die. My kids die in 30 years, that sucks, but I'm grateful we have had the time we've had. My life and that of everyone involved with them would literally be much worse without them. I think that's worth it, and I know that at least right now, they agree. I understand some potentially thinking not.
See I don't agree with this line of reasoning again. This is 100% man made. So was the great leap forward. Black plague not so much. Like we're actually talking about coastal cities with millions of people living in them no longer existing within our lifetimes. Like I guess I don't really understand what you're saying. Yes, things have been bad before but the ice caps melting due to humans is on another level. Like do you not think that?

And it isn't just that. I've lived in Shanghai and Beijing. You literally cannot jog more than a few blocks without the air quality basically bringing you to your knees. A bad day in LA it's the same thing. It's understandable for people to be so concerned about it that they don't want to have children.
 
Nov 2, 2017
1,308
Bronx, NY
Nah I don’t want kids.

I’m honestly to selfish to have them and I don’t have the patience for it. Not saying I won’t be a responsible father to my child but it’s not for me.
 
Oct 25, 2017
2,813
honestly not really. i know my mom would have loved to see my kid but she passed away a few years back. maybe i could have used that excuse to convince myself some years back but now i don't see a need for one. i have 4 nephews and that is good enough for me.
 
Dec 1, 2017
2,279
I want kids, but don't want to go through the pain of the first two years. Already suffer enough with babies being in my household for a good portion of my childhood, 4-13 years old.
 
Oct 27, 2017
842
There is absolutely nothing wrong or controversial about not wanting kids. Where are people getting this from? I respect not having them if you don't them. Few things are worse for kids than parents that didn't want kids.

As for me, I'd like to have them, but being 34 this year, and currently single, I've come to terms with the fact that it ain't happening.

Also the hyperbolic negativity in here is absurd. The world has never been safer, nor a less shitty time to have kids.
Are you a guy? 34 is still young! Plenty of my friends met their SO, got married and had multiple kids, all in their 40s. So do not give up, it will happen eventually.
Even as a woman, 34 is not that old btw... My mother in law got her third at 42... So definitely not too late.
 
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