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Does anyone else not want kids?

Yeah, I don't want to have children, but i always found those "the world sucks and i don't want to force life on someone" comments so... weird. I can't relate to that at all.
I just don't want children. I hate having people depending on me, and I'm not a very selfless person.

Well, and then there's the fact I'm gay, and if I wanted children, it'd be biological ones. I wouldn't be able to treat adopted children as my own, which is terrible, but how I feel.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,844
Anyone actively seeking to conceive in 2019 is either willfully ignorant of the climate crisis that will irrevocably destroy any semblance of global stability within that child’s lifetime, and possibly before that child even reaches adulthood, or they’re just selfish bastards who don’t care. This is my hottest take, but it’s also the hill I’m most willing to die on.
I agree let’s fucking kill off the whole planet before 2150 #SoWoke #BigDickWokeSquad.

Seriously though, this is peak ridiculousness
 
Oct 27, 2017
935
Yeah you can always say, well, 2 or 3 kids or whatever is a drop in the bucket. That's true, but when you multiply that by billions of people just popping out kids without really even thinking much about it, it's not really true anymore.
?
Of course it's still true. Any regular individuals total carbon emission output on the environment is completely negligible. The only solution is global policy change, and global policy change will only occur with an educated and committed future generation. So if you believe that climate change is an imminent and direct threat to the existence of the human race the worst thing you can do is not have kids.
 
I'm a (positive) nihilist, so those "let's stop reproducing because the planet will suck" comments are IMO really ridiculous. Global Warming is bad because it makes life for everyone bad. But if there's no one left, then there's no reason to worry about it, since no one will exist anymore. Humanity not existing would be even worse for the people than global warming and I don't really believe in anything other than trying to make life as good as possible for most people.

Just don't have children if you don't want to (like me) and stop being edgy and pretentious. Having children doesn't really have any meaning. Global warming is caused by bad policies and however many children you have doesn't really make much of a difference.

And what if people have children just because they want to? Doin what you want to is literally what life is about. Everything you do that is not an obligation, you do because you want to.
 
Nov 8, 2017
1,948
I feel like having kids would make my anxiety ridiculous to the point where I wouldn't be able to enjoy anything in life anymore. They also seem like a ridiculous financial burden. So probably not.

That being said, getting to vicariously experience childhood and growing up again, by seeing your offspring go through it, has seemed kind of awesome to me recently. I'm already feeling nostalgic for youth and I've seen people say that having kids brings back some of the feeling of childlike wonderment. So I guess a small part of me wants kids. But I guess I'd probably rather experience that sort of thing through being an uncle and being a big part of my sisters' kids lives.
 
Oct 27, 2017
1,213
I personally don't want kids, but I would love my parents to have grandkids. I feel bad I can't provide them that. It's a weird feeling.
 
Oct 28, 2017
260
I agree let’s fucking kill off the whole planet before 2150 #SoWoke #BigDickWokeSquad.

Seriously though, this is peak ridiculousness
But why? All science points towards an inescapable climate global crisis in just a few decades time, nothing ridiculous about it or are you going to argue against it?
 
Oct 27, 2017
544
I mean, a lot of what people are saying in this thread is about climate change, which is entirely linked to emissions which is directly connected to the amount of people on the planet consuming. All that other stuff you mentioned is kind of different than, hey, the ice caps are melting at an alarming rate, like several times faster than even the worst estimates not long ago, but yeah let's just pop out a few kids even though that is literally the worst thing I could possibly do re the environment.

Yeah you can always say, well, 2 or 3 kids or whatever is a drop in the bucket. That's true, but when you multiply that by billions of people just popping out kids without really even thinking much about it, it's not really true anymore.
Do the other extreme then. If no one had kids, humans would be extinct
 
Oct 25, 2017
4,231
I feel like having kids would make my anxiety ridiculous to the point where I wouldn't be able to enjoy anything in life anymore. They also seem like a ridiculous financial burden. So probably not.

That being said, getting to vicariously experience childhood and growing up again, by seeing your offspring go through it, has seemed kind of awesome to me recently. I'm already feeling nostalgic for youth and I've seen people say that having kids brings back some of the feeling of childlike wonderment. So I guess a small part of me wants kids. But I guess I'd probably rather experience that sort of thing through being an uncle and being a big part of my sisters' kids lives.
Don't use kids for personal therapy, but in my case, having kids helped an immense amount with my anxiety. Yes, it's still there, but my kids somehow made things somehow so much easier to cope with. Kind of weird.
 
Oct 25, 2017
320
I don't want any and can't afford them anyway. One of my sisters and her husband chose not to have any. My other sister had a boy and girl, so my parents were happy with that.
 
Oct 27, 2017
7,069
Seattle
There is absolutely nothing wrong or controversial about not wanting kids. Where are people getting this from? I respect not having them if you don't them. Few things are worse for kids than parents that didn't want kids.

As for me, I'd like to have them, but being 34 this year, and currently single, I've come to terms with the fact that it ain't happening.

Also the hyperbolic negativity in here is absurd. The world has never been safer, nor a less shitty time to have kids.
I had my second at the ripe old age of 41. It’s never too late!
 
Jul 12, 2018
96
T My kids die in 30 years, that sucks, but I'm grateful we have had the time we've had. My life and that of everyone involved with them would literally be much worse without them. I think that's worth it, and I know that at least right now, they agree. I understand some potentially thinking not.
To be clear I wasn't saying you are wrong for having kids or that people shouldn't want to be parents. I just feel that climate change shouldn't be looked at like it's just another in the long list of of struggles that humanity has endured. It poses a threat on a scale we have never seen before and we stand to lose everything. The entire achievements of the human race all the work and hardships of those who came before us and all our potential future gains as a species rendered null. This is the mindset I believe we need to approach this problem with.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,352
To be clear I wasn't saying you are wrong for having kids or that people shouldn't want to be parents. I just feel that climate change shouldn't be looked at like it's just another in the long list of of struggles that humanity has endured. It poses a threat on a scale we have never seen before and we stand to lose everything. The entire achievements of the human race all the work and hardships of those who came before us and all our potential future gains as a species rendered null. This is the mindset I believe we need to approach this problem with.
Given the results I‘m not too sure if its that negative. Im not saying Im looking forward to the end of our lifes, nor our children. But we mourn something that has clearly been pure poisen to the planet.

Besides: Water wont disappear, bacteria wont disappear, most likely new life will come to exist. Humanity won‘t be part of it, but maybe that‘s for the better. We are a very self-destructive speciman.
 
Given the results I‘m not too sure if its that negative. Im not saying Im looking forward to the end of our lifes, nor our children. But we mourn something that has clearly been pure poisen to the planet.

Besides: Water wont disappear, bacteria wont disappear, most likely new life will come to exist. Humanity won‘t be part of it, but maybe that‘s for the better. We are a very self-destructive speciman.
good and bad are concepts created by humans. If people didn't exist, who'd consider something good or bad? The only ones who consider something good or bad are humans, which means those concepts would cease existing alongside us.

The planet doesn't "feel" anything, it's not a sentient being, and other forms of life, at least the ones on Earth, don't follow any system of morality.
 
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Jul 12, 2018
96
Given the results I‘m not too sure if its that negative. Im not saying Im looking forward to the end of our lifes, nor our children. But we mourn something that has clearly been pure poisen to the planet.

Besides: Water wont disappear, bacteria wont disappear, most likely new life will come to exist. Humanity won‘t be part of it, but maybe that‘s for the better. We are a very self-destructive speciman.
Yeah, but what about all the other species that will perish though? What about kangaroos and ferrets and dogs?
I can live with the idea of a future without humans in it but a future without dogs? Fuck that!
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,366
Yeah, I don't want to have children, but i always found those "the world sucks and i don't want to force life on someone" comments so... weird. I can't relate to that at all.
I have a little brother who has some type of ADD/ADHD/whatever it is since he was at least 4. He got into a LOT of problems in school. Faced a ton of bullying quite literally every year of his life (though, to be fair, he himself has been quite an asshole for at least as long. Not sure how much of that is separate or connected to the ADD/ADHD thing, but I digress). Being the big brother, I'm sure most people could understand being concerned about his well being. And I worried constantly about all kinds of trouble that he could get into, all the way up until he graduated.

Dealing with that drama, especially for so long, was NOT fun. Now imagine if he was in an even worse situation, if he was in a wheelchair, had some kind of degenerative disease, or a number of other awful situations? Yeah, no thanks.

The world is an incredibly cruel place and I wouldn't want to subject my children to all the dangers that exist in there. I'd accelerate my rate of balding worrying about them constantly. There is absolutely nothing unreasonable about not wanting to bring kids into a world like that.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,352
good and bad are concepts created by humans. If people didn't exist, who'd consider something good or bad? The only ones who consider something good or bad are humans, which means those concepts would cease existing alongside us.

The planet doesn't "feel" anything, it's not a sentient being and other forms of life, at least the ones on Earth, don't follow any system of morality.
The animals can feel pain. Elephants are capable of holding grudges for a long time. Concepts of good and bad exist among none humans too. (How else would you condition animals?)

Killing an entire planets population making all living creatures suffer, even for that many of them have a concept.

Yeah, but what about all the other species that will perish though? What about kangaroos and ferrets and dogs?
I can live with the idea of a future without humans in it but a future without dogs? Fuck that!
Dogs will die without humans either way. They need their loyal companion. Some might return to the wild but eventually they‘d be unrecognizable.
 
Dealing with that drama, especially for so long, was NOT fun. Now imagine if he was in an even worse situation, if he was in a wheelchair, had some kind of degenerative disease, or a number of other awful situations? Yeah, no thanks.

The world is an incredibly cruel place and I wouldn't want to subject my children to all the dangers that exist in there. I'd accelerate my rate of balding worrying about them constantly. There is absolutely nothing unreasonable about not wanting to bring kids into a world like that.
Those people are very few statistically.
I know there's absolutely nothing unreasonable with not wanting to have children. I myself don't want to have children.
But there's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have them either.
 
The animals can feel pain. Elephants are capable of holding grudges for a long time. Concepts of good and bad exist among none humans too. (How else would you condition animals?)

Killing an entire planets population making all living creatures suffer, even for that many of them have a concept.
Animals feel, but that doesn't mean they have morals. They don't feel remorse for killing others of its kind. They don't punish other elephants for doing something perceived by their society (which is inexistent) as wrong. If another Elephant die, they might mourn it, but say, if another Elephant killed it by stomping it, it won't feel remorse or guilt. Feelings are not the same as morals. Animals don't care about destroying the environment. Invasive species feel no guilt about doing what they do and a cat don't feel anything other than pleasure when killing a mouse or a rabbit, even if not for fun. Pain has nothing to do with any of this either. I'm very much pro protecting the environment, but no animal will think "man, it's good that humanity was wiped out". They don't have this kind of sentience. The destruction of the evironment being something bad (which I obviously 100% agree with) is something humanity reached. Animals don't care about destroying it, otherwise, again, invasive species wouldn't exist and neither would population bottlenecks due to an animal population consuming more resources than the environment is able to produce.
 
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Oct 31, 2017
3,504
I'm gay but I don't see myself ever having kids, biological or adopted.

It would cause me insane amounts of anxiety. I know for a fact that I wouldn't be able to handle it and that I would no longer enjoy life. I'm sure I can contribute to society in other ways.
 
Dec 1, 2017
152
I don't want them in the near future, and possibly not in the medium to long term either, but I'm not 100% sure. I like kids, but have never viewed it as something I need to do, or something I would prioritize in my future

My brother recently had his first child, so I thought I'd spend some time with them to get a sense of what it's like. My GF is much more into the idea of having kids than I am, but it seems too big a decision to compromise on if I'm not totally certain. It might be the thing that breaks us up, since we're about to hit 30 and there's not loads of time left for her to have her own
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,352
Animals feel, but that doesn't mean they have morals. They don't feel remorse for killing others of its kind. They don't punish other elephants for doing something perceived by their society (which is inexistent) as wrong. If another Elephant die, they might mourn it, but say, if another Elephant killed it by stomping it, it won't feel remorse or guilt. Feelings are not the same as morals. Animals don't care about destroying the environment. Invasive species feel no guilt about doing what they do. Pain has nothing to do with any of this either. I'm very much pro protecting the environment, but no animal will think "man, it's good that humanity was wiped out". They don't have this kind of sentience.
Monkeys have been proven to have morals. Elephants seek revenge (against humans who hurt them for example) and attack a person who hurt them.

Not all animals are capable to the same degree of moral understanding and feelings, and we humans might not always understand theirs, but that doesnt mean they do not have such. Animals such as dogs will be incredibly heart broken and mourn.

Of course perception of pain has to do with basic understanding of good and bad. Without that no moral system come to be.

Animals might not have a concept for humanity as a whole, but individual persons yes. Just because they do not put them all into one box doesnt mean they wont be free if humanity eventually disappears and nature can reclaim.
 
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Monkeys have been proven to have morals. Elephants seek revenge (against humans who hurt them for example) and attack a person who hurt them.

Not all animals are capable to the same degree of moral understanding and feelings, and we humans might not always understand theirs, but that doesnt mean they do not have such.

Of course perception of pain has to do with basic understanding of good and bad.
Would they think humanity not existing would be a good thing?

EDIT: Also, I think my and your definition of morality are different. Read this article:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/.../201106/only-humans-have-morality-not-animals
 
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Originally I didn't want kids, but then, bang! Pregnancy test was positive twice over and 8 months later my daughter was born. Honestly if it wasn't for her I would have killed myself years ago. I have had such a unending battle with depression for years now and she's the only thing that keeps me going. The last 4+ years have been a struggle for me but she brings me joy. Now if you asked me if I would want a second one the answer is no, not a chance. Its honestly just an asnwer of hindsight.
 
Jan 15, 2019
82
30 and gay. Adoption has always been on my mind.

I think a lot of people are way too pessimistic about the future. People in the past were reproducing during litteral world wars and their kids had the chance to live good lives.

Besides other countries like China and India sure as hell wont be slowing down so not having kids really only benefits them.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,844
Of course not, but less population is way better for the planet to buy time for the sparse hope of a solution.
Cool, but I never said anything disagreeing with that view. I was disagreeing with the view that the act of conceiving is a selfish and terrible act or that the contrary is that they are totally unaware of climate change.

So I ask again, what part about my response to that user did you feel was worth arguing against? Do you agree with them to some extent?
 
Oct 29, 2017
277
Anyone actively seeking to conceive in 2019 is either willfully ignorant of the climate crisis that will irrevocably destroy any semblance of global stability within that child’s lifetime, and possibly before that child even reaches adulthood, or they’re just selfish bastards who don’t care. This is my hottest take, but it’s also the hill I’m most willing to die on.
Agree with this 100%. If you choose to have kids with knowledge of the situation humanity is in, you're a selfish bastard.

Adoption on the other hand is fine.
 
Oct 28, 2017
260
Cool, but I never said anything disagreeing with that view. I was disagreeing with the view that the act of conceiving is a selfish and terrible act or that the contrary is that they are totally unaware of climate change.

So I ask again, what part about my response to that user did you feel was worth arguing against? Do you agree with them to some extent?
Yes, because you called it "peak ridicilousness". An objective point can be made that knowingly having kids in this overpopulated age with almost certain disaster looming, is immoral at best.
 
Oct 25, 2017
4,178
30 and gay. Adoption has always been on my mind.

I think a lot of people are way too pessimistic about the future. People in the past were reproducing during litteral world wars and their kids had the chance to live good lives.

Besides other countries like China and India sure as hell wont be slowing down so not having kids really only benefits them.
Outside of realizing I should recycle and try to not leave the planet in worse shape, I don't really care what happens after I'm gone. I don't care about any legacy, family name, genes to pass down, country powers, being remembered, or anything like that.

Actually this China, or India could very well be doing better now and I doubt I'd notice as long as things are ok where I am, ok enough to be comfortable. Places like Canada, Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Norway, and Iceland sure does better in certain areas. America is becoming a mess with how the people in power are bought and behave. They can't/won't even do anything about climate change because $_$ (money eyes smiling emojii here). Like Rome, it's bound to fall eventually, like all other powerful civilizations before and after it. America does ugly things just like any other world "leader" would if they had an overwhelming influence.

“What do you think? Our country’s so innocent?” - Trump as he defends Putin.
 
Oct 30, 2017
959
I agree let’s fucking kill off the whole planet before 2150 #SoWoke #BigDickWokeSquad.

Seriously though, this is peak ridiculousness
This is a discussion about the decision to create life which does not yet exist. You and the others angrily quoting this post are the only ones talking about doing a genocide.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,884
Pacifica, CA
I don't want kids, but I'd consider having kids with the right person. I do find the idea of having kids so you won't be lonely in your senior years bizarre, though, as if that's some guarantee that they'll always be around you. Frankly, if you're having those sorts of concerns at this point in your life, then you should consider doing what you can to help initiatives to combat senior isolation now.
 
Oct 29, 2017
3,620
I was already largely responsible for someone for nearly 18 years, even without that I never had any interest in having kids due to my upbringing. The idea of being responsible for one is absolutely terrifying. I have absolutely no business reproducing.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,844
This is a discussion about the decision to create life which does not yet exist. You and the others angrily quoting this post are the only ones talking about doing a genocide.
So saying that people shouldn’t have kids anymore isn’t talking about that? Wow. Great logic there, my friend. So far your input seems to essentially state that having children is wrong. If this is the case do you believe not having kids is right?

Yes, because you called it "peak ridicilousness". An objective point can be made that knowingly having kids in this overpopulated age with almost certain disaster looming, is immoral at best.
So the solution is either die as a species or label every parent from here on out as either ignorant or immoral?

I don’t even get what you guys are trying to say tbh. We’ll need humans to get through any climate crisis. I’m going to have to endure it and pre-emptively stating that you don’t want your child to exist due to potential hardship is honestly just a pathetic view to have imo. If it’s a question of population, idk how replacing two lives with one is selfish but you do you.
 
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