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Easy Allies @ E3 2019 | V3 with Glinny

fireworksordie

fireworksordie

Member
May 30, 2018
3,396
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- ALL TIMES BELOW IN PACIFIC TIME ZONE -
EASYALLIES.COM has the complete schedule in your time zone!
Everything below is streamed at: twitch.tv/easyallies
Support the Allies: www.patreon.com/easyallies

There's already a Betting Special thread to share and discuss the E3 2019 Betting Special.
And don't forget to stop by the general Easy Allies OT!

EASY ALLIES @ E3:
NIGHTLY LIVE PODCAST / IMPRESSIONS SCHEDULE (PACIFIC TIME)​

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Glinny said:
If you don't know me, allow me to introduce myself- I'm Glinny the witch, and I take pride in nasty, vile things. You may have heard of me from the recurring "Glinny's Cauldron" segment on the Easy Allies Podcast, in which the boys do their best to procure awful ingredients to help me make a truly vile videogame. There's even a Game Jam to help me make this terrible game! But that's not what we're here to talk about. I decided it was time to crash this little party and make sure your E3 is particularly terrible! Come celebrate V3 with me, and check out my reveals for each one of your major "videogame shows". I'm in cahoots with all kinds of creators and I've been cooking up some real hot garbage. I'm sure you're bound to find something repulsive! (I even I stole the schedule above from the Allies and re-edited it for my own purposes. I'm the worst!)
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EASY ALLIES @ E3:
LIVE CONFERENCE REACTIONS SCHEDULE (PACIFIC TIME)

SATURDAY​

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Glinny said:
EA Play? More like EA Snooze! Glinny here with your sneak peek at the first gameplay of Jedi: Fallen Order! Of course, it wouldn't be complete without a bevvy of microtransactions and ridiculous, exclusive preorder bonuses! Don't forget to tune out as fast as possible once the Star Wars stuff is done: the rest of EA Play is just like Anthem – void of content! Hwa hwa hwa!
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Glinny said:
This is what you're tuning in for, right? You're looking forward to the reveal of a truly legendary addition to the Smash Bros. entourage? Look no further – I've got a deal just for you. For only 500 PokeDollars, you can add this swell Magikarp to your roster. What do you say?
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SUNDAY​

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Glinny said:
Everybody loves Phil Spencer. "He's so cool", "he tells it like it is"… I've had enough! The one and only Phil Spencer and I threw some Microsoft-published properties and awful ideas into my cauldron and came up with this sour treat. You wanted a new Banjo-Kazooie adventure? Be careful what you wish for! Sign up for Game Pass so you can stream this colorful zoo simulator from xCloud on day one!
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Glinny said:
I spent almost all of my time and money last year working with Todd and the team at Bethesda to buy enough ingredients to ensure their whole year was horrific! There weren't many resources left, but I hear the team had a bit of time to work on Fallout 76 some more and make a bunch of exciting trailers for their significantly less-exciting Rage 2. You better hope I didn't get my pointy fingers on DOOM Eternal!
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Glinny said:
Devolver thinks they're pretty funny, huh? Well you won't be laughing at this hellish nightmare of a crossover! I got together with the gang at From Software to add some nasty ingredients to Devolver's remastered and localized release of Metal Wolf Chaos – now starring everyone's favorite movie star, Sonic the Hedgehog! James Marsden might even show up, too!
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MONDAY​

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Glinny said:
Tim Sweeney and I were hanging out in my cottage one night last year when he brought up the idea of a game store full of timed exclusives on PC. I almost spat out my stew! I wish I could take credit for that nasty idea. You'll get to hear about even more games that you were excited to buy on Steam during this 2 hour long nightmare. We're coming for your games!
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Glinny said:
A new Watch Dogs game set in London? Ubisoft's answer to Breath of the Wild? What about the Rabbids – what are they up to? Maybe you'll see an actual gameplay trailer for Beyond Good & Evil? Look. Chill out. Yes, you'll probably see some of those. But you know what else you'll get? A new Splinter Cell… sale! You heard that right: the whole Splinter Cell series, 30% off retail, only on Uplay. And you'll enjoy it, you monsters.
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Glinny said:
Greg Miller and the Kinda Funny gang have been doing a wonderful job providing a promotional platform for excellent indie titles… and that makes me sick! So we put our heads together and came up with something even better: a gigantic cauldron-load of cancellation announcements! We're cancelling games you were excited for and even more you never knew existed! Get ready to get sad!
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Glinny said:
Final Fantasy VII Remake is coming out in 2021. Nomura left his flash drive in my basement after a late night hard at work injecting some disappointment into Kingdom Hearts III. PowerPoint slides always tell the truth. You heard it here first!
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TUESDAY​

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Glinny said:
Looking for another fantastic addition to Nintendo's portfolio of groundbreaking mobile games? Reggie asked me to cook up this awful app for you as a final farewell treat, something you've all demanded for years: Mother Threes! And you'll if you don't like it, too bad! Plus, stay tuned for some new game announcements, each with at least one incredibly disappointing and stubborn feature – just how I like it!
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Glinny said:
I hope you all have a truly terrible V3!
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-Glinny
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mentallyinept

mentallyinept

One Winged Slayer
Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,403
A+ OT.

Unfortunately I am without internet due to a giant fuckup on the part of the builders and Comcast so I will be missing the majority of EZA E3 content live.
 
Aniki

Aniki

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,791
I'm ready. Have watched the last few E3s together with the Allies and always had a great time.
 
OP
OP
fireworksordie

fireworksordie

Member
May 30, 2018
3,396
mentallyinept said:
Ufortunately I am without internet due to a giant fuckup on the part of the builders and Comcast so I will be missing the majority of EZA E3 content live.
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Sort of there with you. My internet recently decided to start cutting in and out intermittently and I can't get a tech out until Monday AM. It's driving me bonkers.

Stinkinmushroom said:
That Glinny joke is a bit too meta lol. Great OT
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Halfway through the third banner I got very concerned that this was a giant mistake, but I was already in too deep. It's a risk I'm willing to take!
 

Deleted member 1102

Account closed at user request
Banned
Oct 25, 2017
13,295
Gonna be my first E3 live with EZA so I'm excited. The only conference I probably won't watch with them is SE as I want to see FF7r by itself. Otherwise I'm sticking with them the whole week.
 
Conal

Conal

Banned
Oct 26, 2017
2,868
Maaaaan you gotsta get some of those countdown clocks in the OP for International Era!
 
OP
OP
fireworksordie

fireworksordie

Member
May 30, 2018
3,396
mazi said:
what's your high score? i've been playing since 2014 and i'm still trying for that 3,072 block.
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impressive! sadly i haven't played in years and don't remember, tbh. i should get back into it.

Conal said:
Maaaaan you gotsta get some of those countdown clocks in the OP for International Era!
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will see what i can do! posting from a train right now but i'll try to get something in there soon
 
DMVfan123

DMVfan123

The Fallen
Oct 25, 2017
7,361
Virginia
Fucking amazing OP!
Can't wait for EZA's coverage of E3, and it all starts with the gameplay reveal of my #2 most anticipated game of the whole entire show!
 
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