• We are delighted to introduce GiftBot 2.0, the next generation of our popular gifting feature. To celebrate, we'll be giving away some incredible prizes over the coming weeks in one big Giveaway Extravaganza!

Era... I'm afraid of my city... I'm afraid of my country. I want to leave, but is extremely hard leaving all behind

FernandoRocker

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,992
México
I'm 35. I have lived all my life in Mexico, in a border town. I have a decent life; I'm married, I have a daughter. I have a good job and very little debt. My only debt right now is my mortgage and I'm about to finish paying my house this December (only 4 hours of debt).

I have had the privilege to travel a lot (job related). In the USA, I have been into New York City, Connecticut, Indianapolis, Champaign-Urbana, Terre Haute, Boston, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Austin, Rockport MA, Los Angeles, Chicago, and some other cities. In Mexico I also have traveled a lot.

And I really love my country, but things are very rough around here. The levels of violence and crime is on another level. People read how dangerous Chicago or Detroit are, but that's a walk in the park compared to what we have to live here. The things most of us Mexicans have seen... you won't believe it.

You know what's the thing I like the most when I travel to the USA? Being able to drive or walk on streets without getting worried about getting kidnapped ot getting shot by the cartel. It's stressful living here. I earn decent money, and I don't want to have a nicer house or a nicer car because I'm afraid. I don't want to open my own business (anything) because I will sure get racketed by the cartel.

But it's very hard to leave 35 years of your life behind. All my family, friends... my house, my job. Start all over in another country.

Ideally I would like to live somewhere in Europe, but I don't even know how to start. I would have to sell my house and start all over again. It would be very hard to get a job in another country, because my job is to write technical manuals in Spanish, so I would be useless in another country. Opening a business? How do I even start?

I'm frustrated. I'm afraid to even go out and do grocery shopping with all the things happening these days in my city.

I hope someday I can leave this shithole of a city behind.
 

guilhermessg

Member
Mar 15, 2019
159
sounds like my experience as well

if you go to the US next to the border, isn't it easier for you to see the people you know in Mexico?
 

Jmdajr

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,100
I am originally from Nuevo Laredo. Every time I visit my family I fear for my life. My parents are old and don't want to start over. But it's fucked. The state has a travel band the same as fucking Syria. Once my parents are gone I will probably NEVER go back.

If you are young you can still have a new life.

I live in Houston now. Minorities and diversity is welcomed.
 
OP
OP
FernandoRocker

FernandoRocker

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,992
México
I am originally from Nuevo Laredo. Every time I visit my family I fear for my life. My parents are old and don't want to start over. But it's fucked. The state has a travel band the same as fucking Syria. Once my parents are gone I will probably NEVER give back.

If you are young you can still have a new life.
I'm in Nuevo Laredo too.
 
OP
OP
FernandoRocker

FernandoRocker

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,992
México
sounds like my experience as well

if you go to the US next to the border, isn't it easier for you to see the people you know in Mexico?
As much as I like the USA, I do not see myself living there right now with Trump as President. Don't get me wrong, I would like to, but it is extremely hard to for a Mexican to legally immigrate to the USA (don't want to illegally immigrate to any country. I would like everything to be legal).
 

xxracerxx

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
16,374
Why Europe and not somewhere in the US where you could do the same job easily?

edit: and answered
 

JaeCryo

Member
Nov 6, 2017
5,172
I have family in Monterrey and they have the same issue, especially with the issue of family proximity for Mexicans (my uncle's family all live there and they wouldnt want to leave them behind).
 

DrewFu

Member
Apr 19, 2018
5,544
Have you considered a city like San Diego or San Antonio so you can easily see your family back home?
 
Oct 25, 2017
225
What about other Latin America countries? Your skill set would transfer more easily than in most of Europe. Though I imagine many companies also need people to write Spanish language technical manuals in Europe too.
 

Chrno

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,497
from Laredo (but often found myself in NL) - left when I turned 20 and never looked back. Quality of life anywhere else in Texas is crazy comparatively. Get out OP. Your offspring will thank you later.
 
OP
OP
FernandoRocker

FernandoRocker

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,992
México
Damn, just reading the op sounds traumatizing...couldnt you just move to safer areas in mexico? Border cities are probably more dangerous because of more drug/cartel activity right?



Just curious, like what? Murder on the street? Can't even imagine what its like
Kidnappings, being in the middle of shootouts between the cartel and army; almost everyone have a friend/relative that was kidnapped or killed. Getting extorted by the cartel. Seeing hanged bodies on bridges. Narc-blockades on the streets.
 

Figgles

Member
Oct 30, 2017
1,815
Aren’t places away from the border generally safer? Have you looked into moving south?
 

Gustaf

Member
Oct 28, 2017
5,658
Kidnappings, being in the middle of shootouts between the cartel and army; almost everyone have a friend/relative that was kidnapped or killed. Getting extorted by the cartel. Seeing hanged bodies on bridges. Narc-blockades on the streets.
i had happened to be like meters away from where bodies were thrown out like at least 5 times already, always saving myself from seeing something by mere minutes.

i have been lucky, but thats no the fucking case either ;/
 

Joeytj

Member
Oct 30, 2017
2,188
Well, if you can, the go. I’ve lived in Tijuana all my life, and while the levels of homicide are rough, it hasn’t really affected daily life here, not like back in 2008 (less kidnappings and out right shootings during broad daylight then back then). In fact, the city is booming in many respects and we get so much American tourist on the weekends, the traffic is impossible here. New high rises are going up every month and restaurants are full.

Going by what has happened to me and loved ones, it hasn’t been that rough. I think I even have a better life than most Americans and there are even more and more Americans every year coming to live here because it’s cheaper. But the levels of crime and corruption are definitely holding us back in many ways, even if most people have found a way to be resilient and make the best of it.

This isn’t to say you are wrong at feeling insecure, but if you’ve managed to build a good life here and so has your family, you shouldn’t panic either. I personally don’t see any extra danger to the country in the short or long term, not anything different than a year, two, or three ago.

It can get worse, that’s for sure, it always can, but so far in my city, it’s a lot more complicated than just saying we’re like Syria or something like that.
 
Jun 6, 2019
470
Spain might be a decent option. It’s not the richest country in Europe, but you speak the language, the cities are safe, and you’re not going to get killed in a Walmart because of your heritage.
 

DrewFu

Member
Apr 19, 2018
5,544
You seem like a well educated person who is fluent in english, established and with a family. Have you at least TRIED to immigrate to the US? Or are you just assuming you won't get in?

If you want to go to the US, it seems off to not even try.
 

Jmdajr

Member
Oct 25, 2017
6,100
Kidnappings, being in the middle of shootouts between the cartel and army; almost everyone have a friend/relative that was kidnapped or killed. Getting extorted by the cartel. Seeing hanged bodies on bridges. Narc-blockades on the streets.
I feel you.

Everytime I look up #NuevoLaredo on twitter it's massively fucked up. No law and order. Or peace.

I ask my dad about it and he almost doesn't even care. It's mentally draining. I think he just happy I am gone.
 
OP
OP
FernandoRocker

FernandoRocker

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,992
México
I read you can't even buy gas anymore without being fucked with.

And the new President does nothing.

Prayers for all the peeps down there and you. I feel helpless.
Cartel sent some warnings to gas stations a couple of weeks ago that if they sell fuel to soldiers/federals, they will burn the stations and kill the owners and workers. And just a couple of days ago they sent a similar warning to convenience, restaurants and grocery stores... they don't want them to sell anything to federal forces.
 
OP
OP
FernandoRocker

FernandoRocker

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,992
México
I'm also considering Merida here in Mexico. But it is something I definitely want to do in the near future (a couple of years from now).
 

Beer Monkey

Member
Oct 30, 2017
3,868
This is why all of North America needs to decriminalize drugs like Portugal.

Hope for the best for you, OP.
 

Maligna

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,166
Canada
As much as I like the USA, I do not see myself living there right now with Trump as President. Don't get me wrong, I would like to, but it is extremely hard to for a Mexican to legally immigrate to the USA (don't want to illegally immigrate to any country. I would like everything to be legal).
Why don't you skip over the US and go to Canada?
 
Jun 6, 2019
470
You seem like a well educated person who is fluent in english, established and with a family. Have you at least TRIED to immigrate to the US? Or are you just assuming you won't get in?
Legally getting into the US is nigh impossible if you’re not on a student visa or have a highly skilled job lined up.
 

DrewFu

Member
Apr 19, 2018
5,544
Legally getting into the US is nigh impossible if you’re not on a student visa or have a highly skilled job lined up.
I live in SD, and there is a plethora of people from Mexico here who are here legally, and they aren't necessarily working some great job. If he wants to immigrate to the US, trying to is usually a good first step.
 
Jun 6, 2019
470
I live in SD, and there is a plethora of people from Mexico here who are here legally, and they aren't necessarily working some great job. If he wants to immigrate to the US, trying to is usually a good first step.
That would be family reunification and/or marrying US citizens. Believe me, I have dealt with this shit a lot. You need at least a Bachelor’s and a good paying job lined up (preferably at google or Microsoft or something). Immigrating into the US any other way is almost impossible.
 

Pau

Self-Appointed Godmother of Bruce Wayne's Children
Moderator
Oct 25, 2017
2,292
Starting all over for yourself is hard. But if you are starting all over for your daughter's sake, maybe it's worth it. I imagine that's the mindset my parents had when they uprooted us from all their family and friends, but they were also younger. Shit's so hard; I'm so sorry. No one deserves to live in fear like this.
 

EhieYovach

Member
Apr 3, 2018
881
Even if you aren't 100% sure you want to leave you should put in immigration requests asap, the line can be really long.
 

Lant_War

The Fallen
Jul 14, 2018
8,958
What about other Latin America countries? Your skill set would transfer more easily than in most of Europe. Though I imagine many companies also need people to write Spanish language technical manuals in Europe too.
Latin America can be really xenophobic even towards our fellow Latin Americans. He has a family and money, so it wouldn't be as bad as coming without anything but maybe Europe is a safer bet.
 

Nothing Loud

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,399
I'm 35. I have lived all my life in Mexico, in a border town. I have a decent life; I'm married, I have a daughter. I have a good job and very little debt. My only debt right now is my mortgage and I'm about to finish paying my house this December (only 4 hours of debt).

I have had the privilege to travel a lot (job related). In the USA, I have been into New York City, Connecticut, Indianapolis, Champaign-Urbana, Terre Haute, Boston, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Austin, Rockport MA, Los Angeles, Chicago, and some other cities. In Mexico I also have traveled a lot.

And I really love my country, but things are very rough around here. The levels of violence and crime is on another level. People read how dangerous Chicago or Detroit are, but that's a walk in the park compared to what we have to live here. The things most of us Mexicans have seen... you won't believe it.

You know what's the thing I like the most when I travel to the USA? Being able to drive or walk on streets without getting worried about getting kidnapped ot getting shot by the cartel. It's stressful living here. I earn decent money, and I don't want to have a nicer house or a nicer car because I'm afraid. I don't want to open my own business (anything) because I will sure get racketed by the cartel.

But it's very hard to leave 35 years of your life behind. All my family, friends... my house, my job. Start all over in another country.

Ideally I would like to live somewhere in Europe, but I don't even know how to start. I would have to sell my house and start all over again. It would be very hard to get a job in another country, because my job is to write technical manuals in Spanish, so I would be useless in another country. Opening a business? How do I even start?

I'm frustrated. I'm afraid to even go out and do grocery shopping with all the things happening these days in my city.

I hope someday I can leave this shithole of a city behind.
Consider Spain. I’m serious. Your bilinguality in English and Spanish will be valuable there. Or consider Colombia or Argentina or Uruguay.

Also I can relate somewhat. I was born in Colombia and my family felt like that all the time in the 90s. Now Mexico has cartel problems worse than anything in Colombia today (which is why American tourists amuse me with their fear of Colombia but their adoration of Mexico vacations).

I hope you find the courage to do what’s best. You don’t have to leave everyone behind forever. There’s Skype, there’s child/spouse visas, there’s cheap plane tickets, lots of optimistic opportunities to reunite. Don’t let that stop you. At 28 I just moved out of my home state for the first time and left everything behind with my spouse. It was hard but it was the right choice for a better life!
 

Kung Fucius

Member
Jun 28, 2019
77
I live in SD, and there is a plethora of people from Mexico here who are here legally, and they aren't necessarily working some great job. If he wants to immigrate to the US, trying to is usually a good first step.
It's not about trying. The U.S. doesn't let just anyone in. These are the paths to American Permanent residence:

1. The easiest is to marry a U.S. Citizen and have them petition for you.

2. If you have an immediate family member (Spouse, Parent, Sibling, or Child) who is a permanent resident or U.S. Citizen, they can petition for you.

3. If you have a skill that's in demand, you can have a company petition for you. (Engineers, Nurses)

4. You can apply as a Religious worker (priests, monks, etc).

5. You can apply and pray to win the Green Card Diversity lottery. There are only 50,000 every year.