Era... I'm afraid of my city... I'm afraid of my country. I want to leave, but is extremely hard leaving all behind

OP
OP
FernandoRocker

FernandoRocker

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,990
México
Consider Spain. I’m serious. Your bilinguality in English and Spanish will be valuable there. Or consider Colombia or Argentina or Uruguay.

Also I can relate somewhat. I was born in Colombia and my family felt like that all the time in the 90s. Now Mexico has cartel problems worse than anything in Colombia today (which is why American tourists amuse me with their fear of Colombia but their adoration of Mexico vacations).

I hope you find the courage to do what’s best. You don’t have to leave everyone behind forever. There’s Skype, there’s child/spouse visas, there’s cheap plane tickets, lots of optimistic opportunities to reunite. Don’t let that stop you. At 28 I just moved out of my home state for the first time and left everything behind with my spouse. It was hard but it was the right choice for a better life!
Thanks. I will consider Spain.
 
Jun 6, 2019
461
For real, OP. Try finding a job in Spain. If your English is as good as it seems, Netherlands are another great option.

Just apply for jobs over there. Ideally something that leverages your Spanish skills and/or knowledge of Mexico.
 
OP
OP
FernandoRocker

FernandoRocker

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,990
México
The U.S. doesn't let just anyone. These are the paths to American Permanent residence:

1. The easiest is to marry a U.S. Citizen and have them petition for you.

1. If you have an immediate family member (Spouse, Parent, Sibling, or Child) who is a permanent resident or U.S. Citizen, they can petition for you.

2. If you have a skill that's in demand, you can have a company petition for you.

3. You can apply as a Religious worker (priests, monks, etc).

4. You can apply and pray to win the Green Card Diversity lottery. There are only 50,000 every year.
Thanks. This is helpful.
 
Jun 6, 2019
461
The U.S. doesn't let just anyone. These are the paths to American Permanent residence:

1. The easiest is to marry a U.S. Citizen and have them petition for you.

2. If you have an immediate family member (Spouse, Parent, Sibling, or Child) who is a permanent resident or U.S. Citizen, they can petition for you.

3. If you have a skill that's in demand, you can have a company petition for you.

4. You can apply as a Religious worker (priests, monks, etc).

5. You can apply and pray to win the Green Card Diversity lottery. There are only 50,000 every year.
Mexico is banned from DV lottery.

The other options are:

Come in on a student visa and pay stupendous amounts in tuition. Then hope to transition to a work visa.

Work for a company that has a US branch and get transferred. Pretty sure that visa is not “dual intent”, so you cannot transition to permanent residency.
 
OP
OP
FernandoRocker

FernandoRocker

Avenger
Oct 25, 2017
3,990
México
Mexico is banned from DV lottery.

The other options are:

Come in on a student visa and pay stupendous amounts in tuition. Then hope to transition to a work visa.

Work for a company that has a US branch and get transferred. Pretty sure that visa is not “dual intent”, so you cannot transition to permanent residency.
Yeah, our main offices are in the USA, and he got transferred over there. He was there for 3 years and he just returned a couple of months ago... couldn't transition to residency.
 

Nothing Loud

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,396
Thanks. I will consider Spain.
You will need to either get a work visa (by accepting a job in spain and having the employer request the visa on your behalf) or you need to accept an offer to study in spain or you need to prove you’re an entrepreneur with assets. Here’s a good resource.
 

rockinreelin

Member
Oct 27, 2017
376
You will need to either get a work visa (by accepting a job in spain and having the employer request the visa on your behalf) or you need to accept an offer to study in spain or you need to prove you’re an entrepreneur with assets. Here’s a good resource.
If I am not mistaken if you come from an Ibero-American country you can move to Spain with a lot more ease then an American. I think it's one of the reasons you see a lot of South Americans in Spain.
 

Droidian

Avenger
Dec 28, 2017
1,165
While your living situation is unfortunate and yet still better than my own living in the U.S. you've traveled to more places in the U.S. than I have!
I've been to Mexico and I dont see the violence and crime but you dont even have to see it to know living conditions aren't pleasant and safe. I'm always grateful to return to the security of safety in the U.S. nothing like the police in Mexico and Tijuana areas.
 

Mik2121

Member
Oct 25, 2017
1,226
Japan
As someone from Spain, I’d definitely recommend going there. That way you get a visa, you are in a country that speaks your same language and which is VERY safe, and from there, if you want to try something else, you got the rest of Europe to explore.
And the rest of Europe is very different when it comes to city atmosphere (most of them all good in their own way), climate, language and food, but generally the same when it comes to social benefits and whatnot.
 

JetmanJay

Member
Nov 1, 2017
1,146
Good God, that sounds horrible, OP. Hope you can get yourself and family the hell out of that place.

This is what America should be doing with its Armed Forces, military might, and intelligence. Helping our Mexican neighbors to clean the country up and make it safe. I don’t trust Trump to be able to make that happen obviously, but we need to be doing something to help out after President shitbag moves on.
 

Majora's Mask

Member
Oct 26, 2017
622
There is a higher chance you get shot in the US due to a random shooting than in Mexico as an individual not involved with drug cartels.
As someone who lives in Reynosa, I'm gonna need to see the receipts on that chief.

Anyways, I feel the same OP. I have already bought a house here, but I have already told my gf that in 2 or 3 years we need to move out of the country. I love Mexico, but this shit seems that just gets worse by the minute.
 

Joseph

Member
Jul 7, 2018
339
I saw a lot of horrible things growing up in Veracruz and living near Reynosa. Do whatever it takes to keep your family safe op.
 

Jag

Member
Oct 26, 2017
3,497
I got no advice, but I feel for you OP. Sounds heartbreaking. I really hope you land in a safe place for your family. If South Florida is ever on your radar, give me a shout.
 
Oct 25, 2017
1,346
if you gotta go, you gotta go. You wouldn't be the first family or even Mexican I've met who had to bug out of their country, so don't feel bad about choosing life over some misguided sense of still owing something to your former home. People tend to be happy to be able to live somewhere in peace, rather than having to check for the problems they ran away from.

Considering you're fluent in English and Spanish you should look at more options than just Spain as well. After all, adjusting to another country you might only do once, but the quality of life you get might be wildly different. Good luck in your search.
 

patientzero

Member
Oct 25, 2017
3,650
There is a higher chance you get shot in the US due to a random shooting than in Mexico as an individual not involved with drug cartels.
The intentional homicide rate per 100k in Mexico is 24.8, whereas the US sits at 5.3. Granted, that includes more than guns but even there the figures are murky as firearm deaths are higher in the US than Mexico....until you subtract suicide rates. Firearm homicides are higher per capita in Mexico.

The US has a lot of fucked up shit, but downplaying another country's issues to make a pithy remark is just callous to the feelings held by the OP and many in his situation, especially when those feelings are based on facts you can't take the time to get right.
 

arbok26

Member
Oct 26, 2017
2,517
I'm 35. I have lived all my life in Mexico, in a border town. I have a decent life; I'm married, I have a daughter. I have a good job and very little debt. My only debt right now is my mortgage and I'm about to finish paying my house this December (only 4 hours of debt).

I have had the privilege to travel a lot (job related). In the USA, I have been into New York City, Connecticut, Indianapolis, Champaign-Urbana, Terre Haute, Boston, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Austin, Rockport MA, Los Angeles, Chicago, and some other cities. In Mexico I also have traveled a lot.

And I really love my country, but things are very rough around here. The levels of violence and crime is on another level. People read how dangerous Chicago or Detroit are, but that's a walk in the park compared to what we have to live here. The things most of us Mexicans have seen... you won't believe it.

You know what's the thing I like the most when I travel to the USA? Being able to drive or walk on streets without getting worried about getting kidnapped ot getting shot by the cartel. It's stressful living here. I earn decent money, and I don't want to have a nicer house or a nicer car because I'm afraid. I don't want to open my own business (anything) because I will sure get racketed by the cartel.

But it's very hard to leave 35 years of your life behind. All my family, friends... my house, my job. Start all over in another country.

Ideally I would like to live somewhere in Europe, but I don't even know how to start. I would have to sell my house and start all over again. It would be very hard to get a job in another country, because my job is to write technical manuals in Spanish, so I would be useless in another country. Opening a business? How do I even start?

I'm frustrated. I'm afraid to even go out and do grocery shopping with all the things happening these days in my city.

I hope someday I can leave this shithole of a city behind.
Hey buddy, go to Australia. Be a spanish teacher or translator for a company.

Australia is a great place to live. Americans are welcome to join us here.

There's no violence anywhere, and no guns. Your children will be safe.

We live in nice housing estates like this - with lots of free space for kids to run around in. The schools are good. The healthcare is free. It gets a little cold if you're in Melbourne like me, but is fine majority of the time. Its more temperate in Sydney, and its much warmer in Brisbane. The exchange rate between AU to US is bad right now because China keeps knocking down their exchange rate, but it'll even out soon enough. You can always go back to Mexico anytime to visit your friends. Bring your relatives if you can.