Era... I'm afraid of my city... I'm afraid of my country. I want to leave, but is extremely hard leaving all behind

[FernandoRocker]

I'm 35. I have lived all my life in Mexico, in a border town. I have a decent life; I'm married, I have a daughter. I have a good job and very little debt. My only debt right now is my mortgage and I'm about to finish paying my house this December (only 4 hours of debt).

I have had the privilege to travel a lot (job related). In the USA, I have been into New York City, Connecticut, Indianapolis, Champaign-Urbana, Terre Haute, Boston, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Austin, Rockport MA, Los Angeles, Chicago, and some other cities. In Mexico I also have traveled a lot.

And I really love my country, but things are very rough around here. The levels of violence and crime is on another level. People read how dangerous Chicago or Detroit are, but that's a walk in the park compared to what we have to live here. The things most of us Mexicans have seen... you won't believe it.

You know what's the thing I like the most when I travel to the USA? Being able to drive or walk on streets without getting worried about getting kidnapped ot getting shot by the cartel. It's stressful living here. I earn decent money, and I don't want to have a nicer house or a nicer car because I'm afraid. I don't want to open my own business (anything) because I will sure get racketed by the cartel.

But it's very hard to leave 35 years of your life behind. All my family, friends... my house, my job. Start all over in another country.

Ideally I would like to live somewhere in Europe, but I don't even know how to start. I would have to sell my house and start all over again. It would be very hard to get a job in another country, because my job is to write technical manuals in Spanish, so I would be useless in another country. Opening a business? How do I even start?

I'm frustrated. I'm afraid to even go out and do grocery shopping with all the things happening these days in my city.

I hope someday I can leave this shithole of a city behind.

 

[cursed knowledge]

sounds like my experience as well

if you go to the US next to the border, isn't it easier for you to see the people you know in Mexico?

 

[Jmdajr]

I am originally from Nuevo Laredo. Every time I visit my family I fear for my life. My parents are old and don't want to start over. But it's fucked. The state has a travel band the same as fucking Syria. Once my parents are gone I will probably NEVER go back.

If you are young you can still have a new life.

I live in Houston now. Minorities and diversity is welcomed.

 

[FernandoRocker]

I am originally from Nuevo Laredo. Every time I visit my family I fear for my life. My parents are old and don't want to start over. But it's fucked. The state has a travel band the same as fucking Syria. Once my parents are gone I will probably NEVER give back.

If you are young you can still have a new life.

Click to shrink...

I'm in Nuevo Laredo too.

 

[FernandoRocker]

sounds like my experience as well

if you go to the US next to the border, isn't it easier for you to see the people you know in Mexico?

Click to shrink...

As much as I like the USA, I do not see myself living there right now with Trump as President. Don't get me wrong, I would like to, but it is extremely hard to for a Mexican to legally immigrate to the USA (don't want to illegally immigrate to any country. I would like everything to be legal).

 

[xxracerxx]

Why Europe and not somewhere in the US where you could do the same job easily?

edit: and answered

 

[Prolepro]

I have family in Monterrey and they have the same issue, especially with the issue of family proximity for Mexicans (my uncle's family all live there and they wouldnt want to leave them behind).

 

[FernandoRocker]

Why Europe and not somewhere in the US where you could do the same job easily?

edit: and answered

Click to shrink...

Because it is extremely hard to legally immigrate to the USA for a Mexican.

 

[DrewFu]

Have you considered a city like San Diego or San Antonio so you can easily see your family back home?

 

[PhaZe 5]

Does your wife share your feelings OP?

 

[dark_prinny]

Vente a España hermano. 😊

 

[Deleted member 10908]

Damn, just reading the op sounds traumatizing...couldnt you just move to safer areas in mexico? Border cities are probably more dangerous because of more drug/cartel activity right?

The things most of us Mexicans have seen... you won't believe it.

Click to shrink...

Just curious, like what? Murder on the street? Can't even imagine what its like

 

[DOT_mjo]

This is how I feel every time I leave the United States and go to Europe. Not having to worry about an active shooter is a pretty cool feeling.

 

[Deleted member 39374]

Have you considered Canada?

 

[NickatNite]

Have you considered a place like San Diego so you can easily see your family back home?

Click to shrink...

Nuevo Laredo is straight under San Antonio, moving there would be easier and cheaper.

 

[DrewFu]

Nuevo Laredo is straight under San Antonio, moving there would be easier and cheaper.

Click to shrink...

I just noticed. I added SA to my question.

 

[Jmdajr]

I'm in Nuevo Laredo too.

Click to shrink...

I read you can't even buy gas anymore without being fucked with.

And the new President does nothing.

Prayers for all the peeps down there and you. I feel helpless.

 

[miscellaneous houseplant]

What about other Latin America countries? Your skill set would transfer more easily than in most of Europe. Though I imagine many companies also need people to write Spanish language technical manuals in Europe too.

 

[Chrno]

from Laredo (but often found myself in NL) - left when I turned 20 and never looked back. Quality of life anywhere else in Texas is crazy comparatively. Get out OP. Your offspring will thank you later.

 

[Rygar 8Bit]

What about Spain?

 

[CaptNink]

Have you considered Canada?

Click to shrink...

Yeah - come to Canada!

 

[FernandoRocker]

Damn, just reading the op sounds traumatizing...couldnt you just move to safer areas in mexico? Border cities are probably more dangerous because of more drug/cartel activity right?



Just curious, like what? Murder on the street? Can't even imagine what its like

Click to shrink...

Kidnappings, being in the middle of shootouts between the cartel and army; almost everyone have a friend/relative that was kidnapped or killed. Getting extorted by the cartel. Seeing hanged bodies on bridges. Narc-blockades on the streets.

 

[Figgles]

Aren't places away from the border generally safer? Have you looked into moving south?

 

[sgtnosboss]

Champaign-Urbana

Click to shrink...

I know its off topic but so crazy you came near me. I never thought of Champaign that way.

Anyways, I am sorry OP, I hope you get out soon. It sounds like even though it will be starting over, at least you could sleep at night and feel safer.

 

[Gustaf]

Kidnappings, being in the middle of shootouts between the cartel and army; almost everyone have a friend/relative that was kidnapped or killed. Getting extorted by the cartel. Seeing hanged bodies on bridges. Narc-blockades on the streets.

Click to shrink...

i had happened to be like meters away from where bodies were thrown out like at least 5 times already, always saving myself from seeing something by mere minutes.

i have been lucky, but thats no the fucking case either ;/

 

[NickatNite]

I read you can't even buy gas anymore without being fucked with.

And the new President does nothing.

Prayers for all the peeps down there and you. I feel helpless.

Click to shrink...

My neighbor who is from Nuevo Laredo, and still has family there. But she hasn't visited them in a while due to how fucked things are there.

 

[Joeytj]

Well, if you can, the go. I've lived in Tijuana all my life, and while the levels of homicide are rough, it hasn't really affected daily life here, not like back in 2008 (less kidnappings and out right shootings during broad daylight then back then). In fact, the city is booming in many respects and we get so much American tourist on the weekends, the traffic is impossible here. New high rises are going up every month and restaurants are full.

Going by what has happened to me and loved ones, it hasn't been that rough. I think I even have a better life than most Americans and there are even more and more Americans every year coming to live here because it's cheaper. But the levels of crime and corruption are definitely holding us back in many ways, even if most people have found a way to be resilient and make the best of it.

This isn't to say you are wrong at feeling insecure, but if you've managed to build a good life here and so has your family, you shouldn't panic either. I personally don't see any extra danger to the country in the short or long term, not anything different than a year, two, or three ago.

It can get worse, that's for sure, it always can, but so far in my city, it's a lot more complicated than just saying we're like Syria or something like that.

 

[skycamefalling]

Spain might be a decent option. It's not the richest country in Europe, but you speak the language, the cities are safe, and you're not going to get killed in a Walmart because of your heritage.

 

[DrewFu]

You seem like a well educated person who is fluent in english, established and with a family. Have you at least TRIED to immigrate to the US? Or are you just assuming you won't get in?

If you want to go to the US, it seems off to not even try.

 

[Jmdajr]

Kidnappings, being in the middle of shootouts between the cartel and army; almost everyone have a friend/relative that was kidnapped or killed. Getting extorted by the cartel. Seeing hanged bodies on bridges. Narc-blockades on the streets.

Click to shrink...

I feel you.

Everytime I look up #NuevoLaredo on twitter it's massively fucked up. No law and order. Or peace.

I ask my dad about it and he almost doesn't even care. It's mentally draining. I think he just happy I am gone.

 

[FernandoRocker]

I read you can't even buy gas anymore without being fucked with.

And the new President does nothing.

Prayers for all the peeps down there and you. I feel helpless.

Click to shrink...

Cartel sent some warnings to gas stations a couple of weeks ago that if they sell fuel to soldiers/federals, they will burn the stations and kill the owners and workers. And just a couple of days ago they sent a similar warning to convenience, restaurants and grocery stores... they don't want them to sell anything to federal forces.

 

[Stryder]

Go to Canada. Isn't there much safer parts of Mexico? near resorts and such

 

[Jmdajr]

Go to Canada. Isn't there much safer parts of Mexico? near resorts and such

Click to shrink...

The resorts are safe. But the places workers live are starting to get shitty too.

I think Mexico City and Monterrey MIGHT be safer.

 

[FernandoRocker]

I'm also considering Merida here in Mexico. But it is something I definitely want to do in the near future (a couple of years from now).

 

[Beer Monkey]

This is why all of North America needs to decriminalize drugs like Portugal.

Hope for the best for you, OP.

 

[Maligna]

As much as I like the USA, I do not see myself living there right now with Trump as President. Don't get me wrong, I would like to, but it is extremely hard to for a Mexican to legally immigrate to the USA (don't want to illegally immigrate to any country. I would like everything to be legal).

Click to shrink...

Why don't you skip over the US and go to Canada?

 

[skycamefalling]

You seem like a well educated person who is fluent in english, established and with a family. Have you at least TRIED to immigrate to the US? Or are you just assuming you won't get in?

Click to shrink...

Legally getting into the US is nigh impossible if you're not on a student visa or have a highly skilled job lined up.

 

[DrewFu]

Legally getting into the US is nigh impossible if you're not on a student visa or have a highly skilled job lined up.

Click to shrink...

I live in SD, and there is a plethora of people from Mexico here who are here legally, and they aren't necessarily working some great job. If he wants to immigrate to the US, trying to is usually a good first step.

 

[NickatNite]

I'm also considering Merida here in Mexico. But it is something I definitely want to do in the near future (a couple of years from now).

Click to shrink...

How does your wife feel about moving? I assume she shares the same frustrations as you do.

 

[FernandoRocker]

How does your wife feel about moving? I assume she shares the same frustrations as you do.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, she shares the same frustration. It is very exhausting living with fear.

 

[skycamefalling]

I live in SD, and there is a plethora of people from Mexico here who are here legally, and they aren't necessarily working some great job. If he wants to immigrate to the US, trying to is usually a good first step.

Click to shrink...

That would be family reunification and/or marrying US citizens. Believe me, I have dealt with this shit a lot. You need at least a Bachelor's and a good paying job lined up (preferably at google or Microsoft or something). Immigrating into the US any other way is almost impossible.

 

[DrewFu]

OP, whatever ends up working out for you, I wish you the best, man.

 

[Pau]

Starting all over for yourself is hard. But if you are starting all over for your daughter's sake, maybe it's worth it. I imagine that's the mindset my parents had when they uprooted us from all their family and friends, but they were also younger. Shit's so hard; I'm so sorry. No one deserves to live in fear like this.

 

[FernandoRocker]

I live in SD, and there is a plethora of people from Mexico here who are here legally, and they aren't necessarily working some great job. If he wants to immigrate to the US, trying to is usually a good first step.

Click to shrink...

Most likely they got married to an American citizen.

 

[Deleted member 41638]

Even if you aren't 100% sure you want to leave you should put in immigration requests asap, the line can be really long.

 

[DrewFu]

Even if you aren't 100% sure you want to leave you should put in immigration requests asap, the line can be really long.

Click to shrink...

This. There is zero reason to not at least try. It very well might not work out, but not applying has 100% chance of it not happening.

 

[Lant_War]

What about other Latin America countries? Your skill set would transfer more easily than in most of Europe. Though I imagine many companies also need people to write Spanish language technical manuals in Europe too.

Click to shrink...

Latin America can be really xenophobic even towards our fellow Latin Americans. He has a family and money, so it wouldn't be as bad as coming without anything but maybe Europe is a safer bet.

 

[Nothing Loud]

I'm 35. I have lived all my life in Mexico, in a border town. I have a decent life; I'm married, I have a daughter. I have a good job and very little debt. My only debt right now is my mortgage and I'm about to finish paying my house this December (only 4 hours of debt).

I have had the privilege to travel a lot (job related). In the USA, I have been into New York City, Connecticut, Indianapolis, Champaign-Urbana, Terre Haute, Boston, Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Austin, Rockport MA, Los Angeles, Chicago, and some other cities. In Mexico I also have traveled a lot.

And I really love my country, but things are very rough around here. The levels of violence and crime is on another level. People read how dangerous Chicago or Detroit are, but that's a walk in the park compared to what we have to live here. The things most of us Mexicans have seen... you won't believe it.

You know what's the thing I like the most when I travel to the USA? Being able to drive or walk on streets without getting worried about getting kidnapped ot getting shot by the cartel. It's stressful living here. I earn decent money, and I don't want to have a nicer house or a nicer car because I'm afraid. I don't want to open my own business (anything) because I will sure get racketed by the cartel.

But it's very hard to leave 35 years of your life behind. All my family, friends... my house, my job. Start all over in another country.

Ideally I would like to live somewhere in Europe, but I don't even know how to start. I would have to sell my house and start all over again. It would be very hard to get a job in another country, because my job is to write technical manuals in Spanish, so I would be useless in another country. Opening a business? How do I even start?

I'm frustrated. I'm afraid to even go out and do grocery shopping with all the things happening these days in my city.

I hope someday I can leave this shithole of a city behind.

Click to shrink...

Consider Spain. I'm serious. Your bilinguality in English and Spanish will be valuable there. Or consider Colombia or Argentina or Uruguay.

Also I can relate somewhat. I was born in Colombia and my family felt like that all the time in the 90s. Now Mexico has cartel problems worse than anything in Colombia today (which is why American tourists amuse me with their fear of Colombia but their adoration of Mexico vacations).

I hope you find the courage to do what's best. You don't have to leave everyone behind forever. There's Skype, there's child/spouse visas, there's cheap plane tickets, lots of optimistic opportunities to reunite. Don't let that stop you. At 28 I just moved out of my home state for the first time and left everything behind with my spouse. It was hard but it was the right choice for a better life!

 

[Kung Fucius]

I live in SD, and there is a plethora of people from Mexico here who are here legally, and they aren't necessarily working some great job. If he wants to immigrate to the US, trying to is usually a good first step.

Click to shrink...

It's not about trying. The U.S. doesn't let just anyone in. These are the paths to American Permanent residence:

1. The easiest is to marry a U.S. Citizen and have them petition for you.

2. If you have an immediate family member (Spouse, Parent, Sibling, or Child) who is a permanent resident or U.S. Citizen, they can petition for you.

3. If you have a skill that's in demand, you can have a company petition for you. (Engineers, Nurses)

4. You can apply as a Religious worker (priests, monks, etc).

5. You can apply and pray to win the Green Card Diversity lottery. There are only 50,000 every year.

 

[Kthulhu]

That sucks OP.

Hopefully you can get a work visa or something.