ERA, was I being a dick?

Arex · Nov 23, 2021

No, not really, you're her friend (well on her friends list), her FB post is public, dunno what's with the none of your business comments. You're free to call her out. If everyone mind their own business all social media would die.

Although now you're not her friend anymore I guess lol.

Replicant · Nov 23, 2021

Arex said:
No, not really, you're her friend (well on her friends list), her FB post is public, dunno what's with the none of your business comments. You're free to call her out. If everyone mind their own business all social media would die.

Although now you're not her friend anymore I guess lol.

Haha. That's fair. And not a huge loss. I think I'll live.

julia crawford · Nov 23, 2021

What is RA?

Sunbeam said:
omg who cares
and that "dudes you just met" part sounds sus as fuck

Yeah I don't even think op did that bad but that makes me very suspicious of his intentions

Mekanos · Nov 23, 2021

Arex said:
No, not really, you're her friend (well on her friends list), her FB post is public, dunno what's with the none of your business comments. You're free to call her out. If everyone mind their own business all social media would die.

Although now you're not her friend anymore I guess lol.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

fanboi · Nov 23, 2021

Replicant said:
She's high risk with health issues. Vaccinated or not, you gotta take precaution. I guess maybe you just had to read her posts for the past year and a half to understand where I'm coming from calling her out.

Yes, that is on her own violition and up to her what to risk or not.

Messofanego · Nov 23, 2021

Replicant said:
I choose violence. And I also didn't think it was a dick movie either. I don't care either way that she blocked me. I'm just trying to gauge what others think. I guess her post just irrated me knowing how much she complained about people not choosing to be safe.

Choosing violence will have the side effect of looking dickish. It's ok to admit your fault. You barely know her and didn't need to call her out publicly, maybe you could have done it privately, or just tell others about this person to get it off your chest. I would have just unfriended her. I don't know this person, were they fully vaccinated? If so, she's allowed to go back out at times. She doesn't need to stay at home all the time if she's immunocompromised and vaccinated. Anyway, you're not online friends anymore so finally there is closure.

Replicant · Nov 23, 2021

John Kowalski said:
What is RA?

Yeah I don't even think op did that bad but that makes me very suspicious of his intentions

Rheumatoid arthritis. And guys, I had no intentions or give a crap about her dating life.

Rory · Nov 23, 2021

Ctrl Alt Del said:
Should have just kept it to yourself. I don't think anything on your relationship gave you the right to tell her something like that.
It is okay to go back outside but you should still take all precautions btw. I wear my mask anywhere I go.

Hopefully.

No!

We can go to restaurants, have a right to live a sociallife as others do. Attend birthday parties with food.

Without being (quietly) judged.

PeakPointMatrix · Nov 23, 2021

It was dickish of you to publicly make that comment. It shows you wanted to embarrass her more than give her guidance. That was already starting off on the wrong foot. A private message would have likely been received better, and you'd still be friends. Not that you seem to actually care if this person was in your life or not to begin with, which begs the question why call her out to begin with?

Arex · Nov 23, 2021

Mekanos said:
You say that like it's a bad thing.

well I'm just saying it will never happen lol, not necessarily that it's a bad thing.

FinalRPG · Nov 23, 2021

Replicant said:
Where have you been? Vaccinated people are definitely not allowed to go on about their lives now. That was was back in what June? The narrative has changed since then. You at the bare minimum need to continue wearing a mask in public. Especially if you are high risk, like she is. Or I am.

Yes they are. You can wear a mask if you feel like it, or you're required to, but otherwise everything is open and people are going. Covid isn't going away, so staying at home is just punishing yourself and delaying the inevitable.

Sanctuary · Nov 23, 2021

Arex said:
No, not really, you're her friend (well on her friends list), her FB post is public, dunno what's with the none of your business comments. You're free to call her out. If everyone mind their own business all social media would die.

Just seems to me most of the salt here is coming from the way it was presented, not really the fact that they decided to reply publicly to a public post. But then sometimes I just don't understand people. 🤷‍♂️

Replicant said:
Where have you been? Vaccinated people are definitely not allowed to go on about their lives now. That was was back in what June? The narrative has changed since then. You at the bare minimum need to continue wearing a mask in public. Especially if you are high risk, like she is. Or I am.

Depends on where you live I suppose. Where I live in PA, there are certain places where masks are still a requirement, but most places for leisure activities do not require them anymore. And high risk people need to be wearing more than a normal mask for protection, considering normal masks are about preventing you from spreading, not contracting. They help act as a barrier against it as well, but the protection level is so small that it may as well not even be considered.

Dan Thunder · Nov 23, 2021

maybe stop going out to bars and shows and posting videos and tons of pics of you maskless in public around dudes you've just met.( I didn't say that last part to her)

Firstly, ew!

Secondly......no, just ew!

Mate, not your business what someone you want on a date with twice a few years ago is up to. Genuinely don't know why you didn't think you came off bad in this situation?

B4mv · Nov 23, 2021

You obviously don't give a shit about this person as your response to her getting a deadly disease was essentially that she was asking for it, and it's her fault. From that perspective, yeah, you're just a dick.

Possum Armada · Nov 23, 2021

Replicant said:
Rheumatoid arthritis. And guys, I had no intentions or give a crap about her dating life.

You just keep on telling yourself that…….

Surejan.gif

Wackamole · Nov 23, 2021

Your name is Dick Dickish from now on.

UnpopularBlargh · Nov 23, 2021

Replicant said:
That's not true at all. The virus isn't going anywhere. The vaccines don't fully prevent infection. This virus is being spread from fully vaccinated groups as well.

The fully vaccinated are less likely to get the virus than those not. And if they do they're still less likely to spread the virus.

If everyone was vaccinated there'd be less infections and less different mutations of the virus out there and eventually the virus would die out.

From The Atlantic:

Vaccinated people spread the virus less overall because they are significantly less likely to get infected in the first place. In early September, the CDC found that six unvaccinated people were testing COVID-positive for every one vaccinated person. But there are plenty of reasons to be optimistic beyond that. Some recent research shows that even once they've been infected, the vaccinated are less likely to spread the coronavirus than the unvaccinated. "We're back in this category of Yeah, it can happen, but it seems to be a very rare event," Ross Kedl, an immunology professor at the University of Colorado School of Medicine, told me.

So yeah. She's right to be mad at anti-vaxxers.

And next time just contact people in private instead of blasting them in public. No one likes to be made to look like an idiot even if they deserve it.

Replicant · Nov 23, 2021

Rory said:
No!

We can go to restaurants, have a right to live a sociallife as others do. Attend birthday parties with food.

Without being (quietly) judged.

I think that's fine to go out and be around groups of people you know and trust and you still use precautions when needed, but there is a huge difference in going out to dinner and sitting with family or friends at a table vs going out to a karaoke bar with a bunch of strangers in very close quarters.

StraySheep · Nov 23, 2021

I honestly waver between all the poll options lol. More so "no" and "mind your business".

You are correct, but commenting publicly on someone's post to call them out is a bold move.

SABO. · Nov 23, 2021

yes

if she got the vax, and is held back by anti-vaxxers I'll allow our QUEEN to pop off

Chocobo Blade · Nov 23, 2021

Expressed in a dickish way but not wrong. Going around unmasked is irresponsible even when vaccinated. I'm finding all the "mind your business" posts slightly mind boggling in this context, expecially when it's all public social media stuff.

Kyuuji · Nov 23, 2021

Yeh that's weird lol

PJV3 · Nov 23, 2021

Should have just blocked her, or messaged your concerns about her safety privately if you actually cared about it/her.

Menchin · Nov 23, 2021

You can be both a dick and correct, which you were

Congratulations

Deleted member 81680 · Nov 23, 2021

Thread backfire? I voted mind your business.

IneptEMP · Nov 23, 2021

People are saying you're a dick and you should mind your business

on a social forum where people give unsolicited advice and voice their shitty assumptions about people who dared to share a morsel of their personal life

The irony is not lost on me

Rory · Nov 23, 2021

Replicant said:
I think that's fine to go out and be around groups of people you know and trust and you still use precautions when needed, but there is a huge difference in going out to dinner and sitting with family or friends at a table vs going out to a karaoke bar with a bunch of strangers in very close quarters.

Not really. Family and friends are as much of a danger as strangers.

If your aunt hangs out with anti-vax uncle joey she means false safety. You never know 100% if someone is save and when they make exceptions which might be ok for them but can have consequences for you. Family status or stranger does not matter.

My mother contracted covid despite being all careful and only attending work and had only family around them. Your acquaintance status does not matter to the virus.

Cheesebu · Nov 23, 2021

She seems kinda dumb from your description of events, but what do you get out of starting little fights on Facebook. Isn't that kind of the pastime of 60 year old Karens at this point? Like what's the goal

Delicious Waffles · Nov 23, 2021

PaulloDEC said:
"Mind your own business" kinda goes out the window when you post a public status update on a platform that supports comments. If you don't want people to read and reply, don't post status updates.

That being said, OP's message is definitely one of those comments that I'd compose in my head but never actually write. No good can come of a message like that, even if the person has it coming.

My thoughts exactly. I wouldn't of even bothered.

NullPointerException · Nov 23, 2021

I mean, you weren't wrong but perhaps you could've been a little nice instead of being assertive. If she didn't mean much to you as a friend then why did you bother in the first place? what benefit did you get out of all this? Do you get personal gratification from confronting other people about how they live their lives?

Cheesebu said:
She seems kinda dumb from your description of events, but what do you get out of starting little fights on Facebook. Isn't that kind of the pastime of 60 year old Karens at this point? Like what's the goal

Yup. This.

Aya · Nov 23, 2021

Replicant said:
Is it that weird to call someone out? I wasn't trying to be an asshole. I knew it wouldn't go well, but I think people need to be called out every now and then.

It feels weird is in this instance. it shouldn't be you who are supposed to teach her lessons about her life, you're an acquaintance at best in the end, regardless if you had a point or not. You said it yourself that you knew it wasn't gonna go well, but you still did it lol.

Deleted member 1445 · Nov 23, 2021

Call her out for what? It's her own risk to take, why does it matter that she decided to take those risks, and that she's still mad at people for not being vaccinated. Regardless of whatever risks she took, those are the people mainly responsible for that risk still being there in the first place.

And what was the comment for in the first place? All you're doing is picking a fight, you're dismissing her. Can't stand people who make comments like yours and then act all oblivious as to what you're really doing. You're instigating, you don't actually care for her wellbeing and you know it.

You're 100% the asshole.

nsilvias · Nov 23, 2021

this girl means nothing to your life. move on instead of being a keyboard warrior

NuclearCake · Nov 23, 2021

No? No.

Assuming that everything you posted was true.

If people don't want to be called out on social media then they should not post. End of story. I have to laugh at the "mind your own business" posts ITT when it comes to a public platform like Facebook. I don't think the OP could even be considered a dick under any circumstances for telling someone to own up to their own negligence and maybe check their own hypocrisy meter once in a while. She was right in the sense that yes it is true that Anti Vax people are the scum of the earth, but that doesn't mean that she didn't fuck up for not wearing a mask.

The only mistake the OP made was nothing in regards to what he told her but it was going to Facebook in the first place.

Shit is just a waste of time and energy.

dskzero · Nov 23, 2021

I voted C, but it's mostly because at this point I ignore these things on any social network (left facebook some years ago, though, that solved 90% of it, now thinking of leaving Instagram because of similar reasons).

Even if she was doing it, it really isn't your problem, so commenting does make you look like a dick, even if you're right

Point is, social networks blows. People don't want anything but validation from their status updates. It's not worth saying anything else, ever.

julia crawford · Nov 23, 2021

Honestly if that girl has posted a thread on era instead of facebook people would be roasting her i feel like.

Izzard · Nov 23, 2021

Mind your own business.

PJV3 · Nov 23, 2021

John Kowalski said:
Honestly if that girl has posted a thread on era instead of facebook people would be roasting her i feel like.

I would hope the mods would tell her to get a blog or a facebook account if she was posting photos of her nights out.

Tomasoares · Nov 23, 2021

Dick? Yes, should you care? Maybe not

blame space · Nov 23, 2021

if you're telling someone (you don't talk to) to be more responsible you got lost somewhere.

Fiction · Nov 23, 2021

I feel like you aren't actually wanting to know of you are a dick and just seeking validation for totally owning this girl you dated a few times and her random dudes since you are pushing back on every comment that yes, in fact, that is very dickish.

Froli · Nov 23, 2021

That's weird on your part lol

hydrophilic attack · Nov 23, 2021

if you have to ask

Novoitus · Nov 23, 2021

You shouldn't have commented at all.

MadMod · Nov 23, 2021

You're right, you were being a dick for blasting someone, should have minded your business haha. Although don't feel bad, everyone loves to play the victim online.

shnurgleton · Nov 23, 2021

No wonder it didn't work out between y'all lol

Siggy-P · Nov 23, 2021

Replicant said:
A girl I went out on a couple dates with years ago was still on my Facebook friends list. She has RA and has been posting about covid fear and ripping into anti-vaxxers for the past year, fair enough and I agree. But over the past week or so I've seen her post countless videos of her at bars and at concerts on dates and shit with no mask and no care in the world.

so tonight she updates her Facebook status and says she thinks she has covid and then goes on to blame anti-vaxxers. So I comment and say, ya know.."Take some responsibility for your actions", maybe stop going out to bars and shows and posting videos and tons of pics of you maskless in public around dudes you've just met.( I didn't say that last part to her) She quickly deletes the comment, then messages me over messenger asking what's my problem, I don't know her and what is she supposed to do, hide at home forever? She then says I'm a dick, tells me to shut the fuck up and then blocks me.

so am I a dick? I don't think so. While I agree anti-vaxxers are an issue, you can't lay blame entirely on them if you aren't doing what it takes to be safe. Vaccination alone doesn't cut it.

Ill be nicer than everyone else. She shouldn't be doing that. And people here would be ripping into her for that if she posted a thread on getting it at a club here.

But you really should have really thought twice before posting that. You havnt spoken with her for years, you're making a cocky public judgment on how she lives her life and honestly, from your bit about dudes she just met, it seems like there's more there to why you care about it.

Some things you just shouldn't say anything.

Saito · Nov 23, 2021

Deleted member 2840 · Nov 23, 2021

John Kowalski said:
Honestly if that girl has posted a thread on era instead of facebook people would be roasting her i feel like.

Context matters. Posting something on Facebook with your real account is vastly different than posting something on this anonymous forum.

Lord Fanny · Nov 23, 2021

I voted yes without reading the OP because 99% of the time when you have to ask that question, the answer is yes. After reading the OP, I have no regrets about my hasty action

ERA, was I being a dick?

Dick?

Yes

No

Should have minded your own buisness.

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